365 Holidays
Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:23 pm
Do you like your holidays?
According to Conservap… just kidding, Wikipedia:
Public Holidays of the United States:
“Strictly speaking, the United States does not have national holidays (i.e. days where all employees in America receive a day free from work and all business is halted). The federal government only recognizes national holidays that pertain to its own employees”.
Whatever. I am still going to enjoy my Law Day (April 7), my Loyalty Day (May 1), my National Day of Prayer (First Thursday in May), and my Groundhog Day (February 2). There are about three dozen Days out there, including Christmas and National Catfish Day (celebrating "the value of farm-raised catfish”).
Sad thing, I don’t receive a day-off to observe most of these wonderful Days. I can see (barely) why I am expected to work my tail off on Loyalty Day (while relaxing on Labor day), but on my Groundhog Day???? Really, really sad. And wrong.
Anyways, as I said before, folks, I still enjoy my holidays. And methinks three dozen Days ain’t nearly enough. Of course, there are more Days in America than in Barbados, Norway and Pakistan combined, but still… After all, we’ve got 365 days. Over 300 days are wasted. It’s downright sad and just plain wrong.
We the People should convert these boring days into Days:
1. National Abstinence Day – ain’t sound like fun, but think about it: you are gonna get a lot of brownie points plus it is the Abstinence Day, not the Abstinence Night;
2. Dumb Neighbors and their Ugly Kids Appreciation Day;
3. WallMart Day (International Holiday);
4. National Identity Theft Day;
5. Just Expired Warranty Day;
6. Government Adoration Day;
7. The Morning-After Day;
8. Pay Day;
9. Nay Day…
Any other ideas?
According to Conservap… just kidding, Wikipedia:
Public Holidays of the United States:
“Strictly speaking, the United States does not have national holidays (i.e. days where all employees in America receive a day free from work and all business is halted). The federal government only recognizes national holidays that pertain to its own employees”.
Whatever. I am still going to enjoy my Law Day (April 7), my Loyalty Day (May 1), my National Day of Prayer (First Thursday in May), and my Groundhog Day (February 2). There are about three dozen Days out there, including Christmas and National Catfish Day (celebrating "the value of farm-raised catfish”).
Sad thing, I don’t receive a day-off to observe most of these wonderful Days. I can see (barely) why I am expected to work my tail off on Loyalty Day (while relaxing on Labor day), but on my Groundhog Day???? Really, really sad. And wrong.
Anyways, as I said before, folks, I still enjoy my holidays. And methinks three dozen Days ain’t nearly enough. Of course, there are more Days in America than in Barbados, Norway and Pakistan combined, but still… After all, we’ve got 365 days. Over 300 days are wasted. It’s downright sad and just plain wrong.
We the People should convert these boring days into Days:
1. National Abstinence Day – ain’t sound like fun, but think about it: you are gonna get a lot of brownie points plus it is the Abstinence Day, not the Abstinence Night;
2. Dumb Neighbors and their Ugly Kids Appreciation Day;
3. WallMart Day (International Holiday);
4. National Identity Theft Day;
5. Just Expired Warranty Day;
6. Government Adoration Day;
7. The Morning-After Day;
8. Pay Day;
9. Nay Day…
Any other ideas?
