Sir Anomen romance FAILED

[Celacena]

I was playing a female PC (had some nice art-work I wantred to use) and did the Anomen romance.
I wasn't comfortable saying that I loved him and wanted to make him wait for that 'reward' (he'd already had the other reward!)
anyhow
he had been Sir for a while and after we had slept outdoors, somebody came along and said that his father had been right all along and in fact had been killed.
Sir Anomen left, saying that we had overruled his better judgment. (we had taken the case to the magistrate BTW)
I decided to follow Anomen a day or so later and we went to Saerk's place to find Anomen had gone all Lucius Verenus on us and that the sole survivor of the massacre said that Anomen had gone back into the Order.
we went to the Order and no sign of Anomen - no mention of him at all.

Can Anomen be re-recruited? if so, how? where is he?

was it because of the 'failed' romance?

[dragon wench]

Slight spoiler, highlight below:

Spoiler

I'm pretty sure you need to follow Anomen immediately when he takes off. At that point, once you reach Saerk's manor, you have to go through some dialogue with him (it can be a bit tricky to get it right), convince him you love him, and then you end up helping him fight in the battle that ensues. After that he happily remains in your party.

[Celacena]

ah

looks like I left it too late and he is gone for good.

[hums "I will survive"]