A Revelation!

Obsidian · Post by **Obsidian** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 10:00 am

Just now I was cutting up a grapefruit, using a serrated knife for the first time to do so.

IT WORKS SO MUCH BETTER!

Just thought I'd share.

Moonbiter · Post by **Moonbiter** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 11:03 am

Try a chainsaw, it's more fun.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 11:09 am

Moonbiter wrote:Try a chainsaw, it's more fun.

The Canadian Grapefruit Massacre?

Fiberfar · Post by **Fiberfar** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 11:35 am

Chainsaws: When precision cutting isn't fun enough.

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 11:40 am

So what would a grapefruit sound like if before you cut it, it managed to rasp out,

"I'll be back."

Fiberfar · Post by **Fiberfar** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 1:37 pm

Something crossed my mind (sometimes, even I think!). Are you still on those painkillers they gave you against your teeth of wisdom -4?

Claudius · Post by **Claudius** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 2:02 pm

Do you just cut the grapefruit in half? For me a sharpened chefs/butcher knife does the trick?? Then scoop out the chamers with a spoon.

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:09 pm

Just For The Fun Of It!

Hi! One of my medications warns me to avoid grapefruits while taking it! I'm hoping that replying to this thread doesn't count as a violation.

I suppose I'll find out soon enough.

What timing from Fable! I read his Terminator quote just as the show was coming on. I looked around but I didn't seem him. Unless he's disguised as a circus lion plush toy. Hm. Or one of the real cats. Hm. With someone who rejects employment as a deity, it can be hard to tell.

Congratulations Obsidian on a task well done!

EDIT: I forgot something! Argh! Back when Marcie was still alive, she and some other friends, were over to play games. During a break, we made a kitchen mess via experimentation or demonstration. Compared to us, you would seem to have come out cleaner for yours, so congratulations on that regard! Hm. It involved styrofoam cups, sliced bread, cheese slices, bolagna, and whatever else we thought was worthy to be chopped, sliced, or at least cut. We wanted to compare the cutting abilities of certain items against each other. So we got a Ginzu Knife, a butcher knife, a machete, and a katana, and took turns hacking away. It ended when Albert did a Luke Skywalker impression using the katana, while standing in the center of the living room, right under the central light fixture. As shattered glass and sparks fell on him, he then looked like he was doing a Flashdance impression. Oh and he was trying to avoid the katana he let go of too. So then there was this sweetroll.....

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:28 pm

You call that a revelation? I see no mention of wandering forty years in the desert. Nowhere did you say you had been flogged and fed to the lions. No mention of trembling landscapes and broiling seas, no fire, no brimstone, not even a zippo in this story. Hell, there isn't even one instance of Old Testament speak. And there was a knife involved, cutting a grapefruit. That's just ripe for all kinds of smiting and rivers of blood jargon.

Nope, what you've got there is an epiphany at best buddy.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 7:47 pm

Bloodstalker wrote:You call that a revelation? I see no mention of wandering forty years in the desert.

When I first read that I wasn't paying attention and I misinterpreted "desert" for "diaper"

Obsidian · Post by **Obsidian** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:03 pm

Bloodstalker wrote:You call that a revelation? I see no mention of wandering forty years in the desert. Nowhere did you say you had been flogged and fed to the lions. No mention of trembling landscapes and broiling seas, no fire, no brimstone, not even a zippo in this story. Hell, there isn't even one instance of Old Testament speak. And there was a knife involved, cutting a grapefruit. That's just ripe for all kinds of smiting and rivers of blood jargon.

Nope, what you've got there is an epiphany at best buddy.

I didn't think you'd be interested in what I did BEFORE I cut the grapefruit with a serrated knife.

I ran cross trembling landscapes, swam boiling seas, flew through brimstone flames, fought dinosaurs and man alike. I have seen sights you cannot imagine.

So I decided not to bore you and cut to the chase, cutting open a graprefruit.

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:13 pm

Obsidian wrote:I ran cross trembling landscapes, swam boiling seas, flew through brimstone flames, fought dinosaurs and man alike. I have seen sights you cannot imagine.

Well, I can't imagine Bloodstalker without a drink in hand. Did you see that?

So I decided not to bore you and cut to the chase, cutting open a graprefruit.

My wife brought a special grapefruit knife to our marriage. Unfortunately, I'm allergic to grapefruit, and she's been decent enough not to eat any in the house. If I'd known you were grapefruit knifeless, I would have sent it to you with our compliments. All you had to do was let the assembled multitudes know about your lack. You realize, there's nothing actually manly about keeping back that kind of information, right? That people will still respect you even if you admit to...never properly coring a grapefruit?

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:41 am

Obsidian wrote:Just now I was cutting up a grapefruit, using a serrated knife for the first time to do so.

IT WORKS SO MUCH BETTER!

Just thought I'd share.

Just sharpen your straight edge knifes and they'll cut through it easily

That's a revelation for another time, so I'm just saving time here

jklinders · Post by **jklinders** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:23 am

Xandax wrote:Just sharpen your straight edge knifes and they'll cut through it easily
That's a revelation for another time, so I'm just saving time here

Unless you are willing to spend a bit of money, you are better off with serrated. I agree though, a good quality straight edge is far better for most work.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:27 am

Hmmm...

Have you tried cutting grapefruit with a spoon?

Argonian Thief · Post by **Argonian Thief** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 7:33 am

Maharlika wrote:Have you tried cutting grapefruit with a spoon?

Yes, 'tis very hard to do so.

Fiberfar · Post by **Fiberfar** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:07 pm

Maharlika wrote:Have you tried cutting grapefruit with a spoon?

A serrated spoon?

Claudius · Post by **Claudius** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:22 pm

Yeah I hate grapefruit...I thought you meant cutting through the outside skin. I forgot that any grapefruit I ate (as a kid) had the chambers already cut out. I must have remembered them just spooning right out. Yes a small serrated is good idea. But I don't like grapefruit too much. Too sour.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 3:15 pm

Claudius wrote:Yeah I hate grapefruit...I thought you meant cutting through the outside skin. I forgot that any grapefruit I ate (as a kid) had the chambers already cut out. I must have remembered them just spooning right out. Yes a small serrated is good idea. But I don't like grapefruit too much. Too sour.

Have you tried consuming the spoon, then, and leaving the grapefruit for some poor, deluded fool?

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:04 pm

Fiberfar wrote:A serrated spoon?

Hmmm... serrated spoon eh?

Leaves a good bloody taste in the mouth. :laugh: