Zombie Apocalypse: are you prepared?

penguin_king · Post by **penguin_king** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:42 pm

well, there isnt really much to say that the title didnt.

are you ready for the increasingly likely even of a zombie apocalypse?

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:52 pm

penguin_king wrote:well, there isnt really much to say that the title didnt.

are you ready for the increasingly likely even of a zombie apocalypse?

Of course. I have an underground vault producing chicken tandoor even as we speak, and a self-perpetuating lake of decent medium grade wine. The chambers are titanium-lined, and for weaponry my wife and I are using the tears produced by Minority Leader John Boehner on the floor of the House of Representatives: the most acidic substance known to humankind.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 4:06 pm

Slow down there. I'm only halfway through preparing the prophetic scrolls for release as it is. Isn't it enough I got editors breathing down my neck and the marketing division screaming about needing proper time to promote the big event? Now you have to go jumping the gun? We haven't even worked out the issues relating to what outlets will be authorized to carry them. Wal-Mart is demanding a censored version that replaces the zombies with slightly irritated yet still generally benevolent pixies simply demanding everyone take an extended time-out. This stuff doesn't just happen you know.

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:42 pm

penguin_king wrote:well, there isnt really much to say that the title didnt.

are you ready for the increasingly likely even of a zombie apocalypse?

I'll throw my lot in with the zombies, thank you very much

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:59 pm

Loki[D.d.G] wrote:I'll throw my lot in with the zombies, thank you very much

Kill the unbeliever!

Or at least, tie his shoelaces to one another!

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 8:02 pm

fable wrote:Or at least, tie his shoelaces to one another!

What planet do you live on? Zombies dont wear shoes. Those that do prefer branded ones with lots of holes burned in them... and no shoelaces

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 8:31 pm

Loki[D.d.G] wrote:What planet do you live on? Zombies dont wear shoes. Those that do prefer branded ones with lots of holes burned in them... and no shoelaces

You're not a zombie, though--not yet. So we can tie your shoelaces together, and by all that's holy and unholy, we will!

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Sat Jun 20, 2009 9:44 pm

Loki[D.d.G] wrote:I'll throw my lot in with the zombies, thank you very much

Ha, awesome. Not a response you generally get.

My roommates and I discussed this a few months ago for a few hours (yes, that's what university students do). Ultimately, the question comes down to this: what kind of zombies? If they're

a) Slow, dumb, stumbling: there's a chance. You can run, use weapons, and fortify yourself indoors against smaller numbers.

b) vampire-esque (like from I Am Legend): You're in luck, since while they're dangerous, you've got half a day to freely get supplies and fortify places. You only need to survive for half the time.

c) Uber-insane-zombies (like from 28 Days Later): We're all dead.

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:11 am

Nightmare wrote:a) Slow, dumb, stumbling: there's a chance. You can run, use weapons, and fortify yourself indoors against smaller numbers.

b) vampire-esque (like from I Am Legend): You're in luck, since while they're dangerous, you've got half a day to freely get supplies and fortify places. You only need to survive for half the time.

c) Uber-insane-zombies (like from 28 Days Later): We're all dead.

You make it sound like left 4 dead. From the normal infected to special infected... and the uber powerful tank. Lol.

Anybody here cares to join me rallying the zombies? We will have fable and all the other "survivors" for lunch... grilled on molten hot rocks, and drizzled with a small dash of nuclear fallout dust, with a radioactive sludge side. I'll take my portion medium-rare

penguin_king · Post by **penguin_king** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:42 am

Loki[D.d.G] wrote:Anybody here cares to join me rallying the zombies?

dont hold your breath, most people prefer to keep their flesh attached to their bodies.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 1:34 pm

Loki[D.d.G] wrote:Anybody here cares to join me rallying the zombies? We will have fable and all the other "survivors" for lunch... grilled on molten hot rocks, and drizzled with a small dash of nuclear fallout dust, with a radioactive sludge side. I'll take my portion medium-rare

Note that I am very aged, tough, and unpleasant beef. (This is fully in line with the lore that says I'm full of BS, by the way.) Please remember that all zombies and zombie supporters will have the following dietary restrictions:

No tandoor.

No medium grade wine. Now confirmed as a red, probably a burgundy, which goes well with chicken, whatever they may say.

No chicken tikka marsala.

Only one helping of lamb rogan josh.

There are great incentives, as you can see, to joining with humans in this conflict.

Further updates as they arrive.

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:52 pm

fable wrote:There are great incentives, as you can see, to joining with humans in this conflict.

And what will the humans eat, i wonder? Being a zombie is so much easier... no stress, not judged by your peers, being undead is so much bliss.

*Stares off into space and sighs*

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:56 pm

Loki[D.d.G] wrote:And what will the humans eat, i wonder? Being a zombie is so much easier... no stress, not judged by your peers, being undead is so much bliss.

*Stares off into space and sighs*

Humans will have a full range of comestibles in the Zombies vs Humans All You Can Eat Buffet:

Chicken tandoor.

Chicken tikka masala.

Chicken korma.

Chicken saag.

Lamb rogan josh.

Bhaigan burta.

Curried beans.

Wine, already mentioned. We have now got a chardonnay to add, though its best year is still to come.

Various deserts. The zombies will only be allowed to eat carrot cake!

As you can see, it is much better to join with the humans. Only people with lamentable taste in food and a crummy preference for bad table wines will join the zombies!

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 3:04 pm

Bah, who needs wine and all you can eat buffets. The first thing i will do as a zombie is to take over MacDonalds with my brethren. Overwhelming numbers will turn the odds to our favor. Coke and fries for all!!

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 3:06 pm

Update: we have a variety of rock and folk bands lined up for the buffet and battle, on the human side.

According to best reports, the zombies only have ABBA and Keith Richards. For obvious reasons:

http://media.photobucket.com/image/keit ... s.jpg?o=14

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 3:10 pm

LMAO, nice pic fabster! :laugh:

Still, i'll take ABBA any day. Maybe dress Keith in a golden speedo to tone down his image. I call dibs on Elvis too, we will invoke ancient rites to reanimate his bones as the leader of the zombiefolk

EDIT: On my 1666 post, i mention speedos, ABBA, Elvis and unholy rites in a few sentences. What a coincidence

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 3:44 pm

Loki[D.d.G] wrote:LMAO, nice pic fabster! :laugh:

Nothing says "zombie" like Keith Richards, does it?

Still, i'll take ABBA any day. Maybe dress Keith in a golden speedo to tone down his image. I call dibs on Elvis too, we will invoke ancient rites to reanimate his bones as the leader of the zombiefolk

I think Elvis was already a zombie (albeit an overweight one) when he had morphed into a Las Vegas lounge lizard. So you might as well save your spells. Maybe bring back Kurt Cobain.

EDIT: On my 1666 post, i mention speedos, ABBA, Elvis and unholy rites in a few sentences. What a coincidence

It's enough to make you want to rip out your eyes to escape the images, isn't it?

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:54 pm

I seem to have mis-placed my brains quite some time ago. I should be pretty safe from any zombie attack. Perpetual stealth mode, as it were.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:03 pm

Gwalchmai wrote:I seem to have mis-placed my brains quite some time ago. I should be pretty safe from any zombie attack. Perpetual stealth mode, as it were.

:speech: Oh my goodness, a zombie, a zombie!!! :speech:

carolina17 · Post by **carolina17** » Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:11 pm

I play Resident Evil regularly