Zombie Apocalypse: are you prepared?

Claudius · Post by **Claudius** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:20 pm

Fable cleans up the toilet of all you immoral bs thinkers. All praise fable.... On second thought **** him and I throw poop.

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:49 am

You realize of course that I have choked people to death for less on force-fed tandoor?

...but if you search back in the database, you'll find a period when we had a lot of serious discussions going on. Then I'd post very long serious stuff. For now, if you want a small serious post of mine in a post-modern setting, you might check this.

Or just wait for the zombie uprising, when I shall appear wielding the magic of a flamethrower in mowing down Loki's multitudes!

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:29 pm

Well, if the zombie apocalypse *actually* happens, then all these posts might actually be serious, and not just jokes.

Claudius · Post by **Claudius** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:05 pm

Suck me

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:59 pm

Claudius wrote:I think the 2004 US elections indicate that the first stages of the zombie apocalypse have already happened actually.

You mean Rumsfeld, right? And presumably PM Brown. They both died some time ago. But bear in mind, political rule by zombies has been a feature of human government ever since...well, forever.

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:04 pm

fable wrote:But bear in mind, political rule by zombies has been a feature of human government ever since...well, forever.

And people still wonder why i have thrown in my lot in with the zombies.

Sain · Post by **Sain** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:56 pm

fable wrote: They both died some time ago. But bear in mind, political rule by zombies has been a feature of human government ever since...well, forever.

Hey, Loki and Robnark are right about zombies hiding being amongst us! Thanks for the heads up and warning guys. We must now capture all government official and politician and hold them for testing. If they are zombies, we question them. On the behalf of Humanity, thank you.

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 8:36 pm

Sain wrote:Hey, Loki and Robnark are right about zombies hiding being amongst us! Thanks for the heads up and warning guys. We must now capture all government official and politician and hold them for testing. If they are zombies, we question them. On the behalf of Humanity, thank you.

We really need to figure out how to question zombies. I mean, the traditional method of:

Hey, you! Are you a zombie trying to destroy humanity by taking over our governments?

...doesn't always yield very accurate results.

Sain · Post by **Sain** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 8:40 pm

fable wrote:We really need to figure out how to question zombies. I mean, the traditional method of:

Hey, you! Are you a zombie trying to destroy humanity by taking over our governments

...doesn't always yield very accurate results.

Bribe them with brain tandoor?(I'm going to die, aren't I?)

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:12 pm

Sain wrote:Bribe them with brain tandoor?(I'm going to die, aren't I?)

Well, yes, but if you play your cards right, I'll make it fast. If you don't, we'll turn you over to Loki and his dodgy minions, who are always seeking reasonable quality skulls for use in their Hamlet auditions. The choice is yours.

Sain · Post by **Sain** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:24 pm

fable wrote:Well, yes, but if you play your cards right, I'll make it fast. If you don't, we'll turn you over to Loki and his dodgy minions, who are always seeking reasonable quality skulls for use in their Hamlet auditions. The choice is yours.

Not sure which I have more confidence in; your mercy, or Zombie acting skills.

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:38 pm

Sain wrote:Not sure which I have more confidence in; your mercy, or Zombie acting skills.

Your choice, but bear in mind that zombies only use skulls that have been removed from their victims.

They don't put them back, either. Usually.

Sain · Post by **Sain** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 10:02 pm

fable wrote:Your choice, but bear in mind that zombies only use skulls that have been removed from their victims.

They don't put them back, either. Usually.

Eh damn. I'll have to play that satanic barbie song so that my brain will melt into my feet. Then being a stage prop doesn't sound too bad.

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 3:30 am

Sain wrote:Bribe them with brain tandoor?(I'm going to die, aren't I?)

We already had a food discussion earlier in this thread. Apparently my hordes are not allowed access to tandoor. Fable's orders. And who would dare to go against the fabster's orders? Even a zombie would think twice.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 8:01 am

Loki[D.d.G] wrote:We already had a food discussion earlier in this thread. Apparently my hordes are not allowed access to tandoor. Fable's orders. And who would dare to go against the fabster's orders? Even a zombie would think twice.

If a zombie could think. I mean, come on--Rumsfeld? Gordon Brown? Thinking?

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 8:37 am

fable wrote:If a zombie could think. I mean, come on--Rumsfeld? Gordon Brown? Thinking?

Well, i'll have to concede the point. They seem to favor the jump first think second ideology. Geronimo!!

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:16 am

I thought [url="http://io9.com/5337596/a-mathematical-model-for-surviving-the-zombie-apocalypse"]this[/url] might be of some interest....

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 11:30 am

dragon wench wrote:I thought [url="http://io9.com/5337596/a-mathematical-model-for-surviving-the-zombie-apocalypse"]this[/url] might be of some interest....

Too bad they didn't take into account the Quisling-like zombie-backing activities of some humans who we won't name, because it wouldn't be fair, and because Loki would probably just chortle and call upon his hordes, anyway.

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 1:16 pm

dragon wench wrote:I thought [url="http://io9.com/5337596/a-mathematical-model-for-surviving-the-zombie-apocalypse"]this[/url] might be of some interest....

How long until a scientifically backed handbook appears detailing various ways to deal with zombies? Hopefully it'll be as good as the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Sain · Post by **Sain** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:29 pm

dragon wench wrote:I thought [url="http://io9.com/5337596/a-mathematical-model-for-surviving-the-zombie-apocalypse"]this[/url] might be of some interest....

Hmm, sounds like a huge waste of time. We all know zombie extermination is the wisest course of action. Man-kind will endure and repell the zombie invasion! Humans Unite!