Fable's Pancake and Spam Emporium

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 9:52 am

@Brink, your flamenco guitar will be welcome. Once we make some money, we can get your teeth capped with tin, and use them as castanets.

@Nippy, are you large and dangerous looking? Or at least, small and dangerous looking? Being a bouncer has certain qualifications, after all.

Nippy · Post by **Nippy** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 10:28 am

Originally posted by fable:
 <Snip>
@Nippy, are you large and dangerous looking? Or at least, small and dangerous looking? Being a bouncer has certain qualifications, after all.

How's 6 foot 2 inches and 15 stones?

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 11:37 am

Originally posted by Nippy:
How's 6 foot 2 inches and 15 stones?

Not bad. I trust you throw the stones, then kick out, hard?

Okay, you're hired. Remember to bring a large, fossilized herring. That will be your weapon of choice.

[ 11-08-2001: Message edited by: fable ]

Happy Evil · Post by **Happy Evil** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 11:45 am

Dear proprietor...
A few questons about your establishment.

Is your Spam fresh?
Do you open the can here or is it done offsite?
Do you serve Spamcakes with Spam Syrup?
How about Spamburgers?
Spam-ka-bobs?
Do you have a Spam-kids menu?
Can I bring my own Spam?
Can I pay in pennies?
Finally, are the dancers single?

If you answerd yes to at least two of the above, especially the last one, I would like to pre-pay (in pennies) for a permanent table by the entertainers if possible.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 12:10 pm

[ 11-08-2001: Message edited by: Ned Flanders ]

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 12:13 pm

Originally posted by Happy Evil:
Dear proprietor...
A few questons about your establishment.

Is your Spam fresh?

My spam is so fresh that you can still hear it baying at the moon even as it goes down.

Do you open the can here or is it done offsite?

In light of your previous question, how can you suggest I'd use canned spam, and still maintain my reputation for freshness? All my spam is made offsite, by a 250-year-old crone I employ just for that purpose. Her name is Fran.

Do you serve Spamcakes with Spam Syrup?
How about Spamburgers?

Yes, and yes. If you ask nicely, we'll even provide spam cutlery. We also have a curio shop for those who want to take home a little something for the kids, and there we sell spam postcards, spam earrings, and of course, globes that show snow falling on a plate of roasted spam.

Do you have a Spam-kids menu?

Yes, along with spam spam-ka-bob and spama ganush.

Can I bring my own Spam?

Absolutely not. We will kill you on sight if that happens.

Can I pay in pennies?

Since everything is free, sure.

Finally, are the dancers single?

@CE is happily wedded, or so she claims. I cannot speak for @VD or @Bloodstalker. You shall have to ask them. Mind what you say, though, since they carry very long knives with endearing nicknames that point to frequent use.

If you answerd yes to at least two of the above, especially the last one, I would like to pre-pay (in pennies) for a permanent table by the entertainers if possible.

Oh, absolutely. We even have an active fountain that gushes claret out of an alabaster representation of spam. You can drop the pennies in there.

[ 11-08-2001: Message edited by: fable ]

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 12:31 pm

Originally posted by fable:
Please, @Ned. We don't need to copy Monty Python routines. The lot of us are quite capable of living in our very own fantasy world, thanks.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 12:37 pm

posted by fable
Please, @Ned. We don't need to copy Monty Python routines. We are quite capable of living in our fantasy world, thanks.

I only pasted it because of its' relevance to the inquiry of the spam menu. Perhaps not all readers would pick up on it as a Python sketch. In any event, I got rid of it. apologies.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 12:44 pm

Somehow, I doubt Ned was asking about MY marital status

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 1:10 pm

Originally posted by Bloodstalker:
Somehow, I doubt Ned was asking about MY marital status

As Heliogabalus once said, it never hurts to be thorough, at least not if you're carrying an Uzi sub-automatic.

At least, I think he was Heliogabalus. He sure looked like him: squat, one hairy eyebrow, balding, short of breath, spoke bad Latin, ran the Roman Empire and owned a pizza shop on Main and Fourth. Or it could have been Thor Rabinowitz.

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 2:06 pm

@Ned, I didn't mean my comments to be taken under my moderator hat. You're welcome to leave it up if you'd like. I was just making a point that we don't need the spam of other worthy spammers to do the voodoo we do so well.

If that's clear.

Nippy · Post by **Nippy** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 2:43 pm

*Nippy stands at the door with a suit on, his jacket bulges as he is packing 'heat'. *

"OI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! GET OUT!"

*Nippy pulls out his herring and hits someone who tries to touch the entertainment.*

So who have we got eating spamcakes?

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 5:49 pm

Good, good, fine. Just be sure to keep that fossilized herring shiny and well-polished. It has sentimental value.

cheesemage · Post by **cheesemage** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 6:45 pm

Got glass?

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 6:50 pm

Originally posted by cheesemage:
Got glass?

No, that's probably the gas main next door. Oh, you mean glass, not gas. What glass are you referring to? Glass windshield? Stained glass? Brandy glass?

VoodooDali · Post by **VoodooDali** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 8:49 pm

Brandishes her cape like a matador. Sticketatickticktick of the castanets. Clackety clack clack STOMP. Let the Flamenco begin. A free round of Sangria for all.

Hope you enjoyed the show.

Fable, do you have Spam in a spray can? Is the world ready for such ecstasy?

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 9:16 pm

STOMP, STOMP-CLACK!! *hands over @VooD a long stemmed rose from his mouth*

Buenas tardes/dias (time?) senorita....

*looks at Bloody for permission*

...may I?

STOMP, STOMP-CLACK!

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 9:20 pm

Nods drunkenly at his friend to get his groove on.

How is everyone tonight anyway?

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 9:21 pm

Ole! En core!

*appleause*

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Nov 08, 2001 9:27 pm

Spanish, eh?

Yo Qiero.....beer.

only spanish I know, that I can't get banned for anyway.