Magic Items for Daily Life

Pangur Ban · Post by **Pangur Ban** » Sat Feb 03, 2001 3:48 am

And now for the topic where we can all list the magic items we need in real life !!
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+1 Dog, +4 vs Door to Door Salesman.

Vanilla ice cream, heat resistant.
( only melts in mouth, not in bowl )

Washing machine of Sock Matching.
( no more odd socks, ever !! )

Ring of Regurgitation Prevention: Alcohol
( Warns you when the next drink will be that one drink too many )

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" ... and alas, for the dog could not enter the kingdom of heaven, for during its life it had breathed air that could have been better used by a cat, or indeed by any other animal ... "

Alison Entreri · Post by **Alison Entreri** » Sat Feb 03, 2001 6:29 am

My Kingdom for a Fuel tank of Regeneration!

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The Present is an Illusion, The Future is a Dream and The Past is a Lie!

Osiris · Post by **Osiris** » Sat Feb 03, 2001 7:05 am

For my car, the "Headlight of Osiris" - Confers 100% immunity to radar guns and speed cameras. Special Ability - can cast "Disintegrate Jerk" 4 times daily (cutting in, derisive gestures, driving slow in the fast lane etc are all legal grounds for its use).

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Sat Feb 03, 2001 7:54 am

I already have it:

Godly Keyboard of Evil Spamming +5
(-2 to my real life charisma

)

Chrissy · Post by **Chrissy** » Sat Feb 03, 2001 8:56 am

I'd say Gruntboy's sarcasm detector would be very usefull...

Or maybe a bag of holding little brothers...

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Sat Feb 03, 2001 10:13 am

Oh? A Sarcasim detector! What a real useful invention there!

*Beeeeeppppppppppp* *Kablooie!*

Mystic spoon: No more pulp squirts you in the eye when eating grapefruit!

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Be merry, be happy, and have a nice day!

Mhr'djynn · Post by **Mhr'djynn** » Sat Feb 03, 2001 11:42 am

Dancing Ginsu +3

-can chop onions on its own for four rounds
-50% chance each use of sawing through any organic material instantly (this includes tree trunks, my sister's coffee, and bodily limbs - so one should always wear the Kitchen Gloves of Invulnerability while cutting to avoid life-threatening scratches)
-once per day: summon random television chef for one hour

Rodion Raskolnikov · Post by **Rodion Raskolnikov** » Mon Feb 05, 2001 8:10 am

Holy Dishwasher +5

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Mon Feb 05, 2001 8:54 am

-Underpants of eternal cleanliness - no explanation needed.

-Glyph of boss warding (tells you when to get off the internet).
-Ring of immunity to cold and flu 100%.
-Girdle of sexual constitution (oh wait, I don't need this

)

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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862.

KN · Post by KN » Mon Feb 05, 2001 9:17 am

A ring of human influence would make getting laid so much easier.

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"Four thousand throats may be cut in one night, by a running man."
- Klingon Crewman "Day of the Dove"

Jhareth of house Noquar · Mon Feb 05, 2001 11:08 am

"The Helm of Hendrix"
Actually appears as an LSD soaked headband, when worn confers:
>
True Sight (but only into the astral and ethereal planes)
>
and the equivalent of 5 proficiency slots in "Artistic Ability: Electric Guitar"

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Lil alurl velve zhah lil velkyn uss...
<^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^>
Your friendly neighborhood
Drow in Sunglasses,
Jhareth of house Noquar

Pigdog · Post by **Pigdog** » Mon Feb 05, 2001 11:14 am

I'd say the +5 Holy V8 of Power!

Put into the +5 Pontiac of DOOM!

Followed closely with the Everfull Bottle of Liquor.

Or maybe all three at once

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Cultured Swine of Doom

Pengman · Post by **Pengman** » Mon Feb 05, 2001 2:03 pm

Right On PigDog...

"More Power"

Nice to meet a kindred spirit...

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Behold The Power of Peng

Minerva · Post by **Minerva** » Mon Feb 05, 2001 2:12 pm

I would love to increase my intelligence permanently

The Nutless One · Post by **The Nutless One** » Mon Feb 05, 2001 8:23 pm

+5 boots of ass kicking
berserks on use

special berserk that gives
+10 to str.
+10 to con.
+10/10 THAC0/Damage
-10 to int.

cursed.

combine with

+5 gloves of b1zatch-smacking

and

+5 doo-rag of thugness

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Mon Feb 05, 2001 9:03 pm

wand of boss imprisonment...permanently removes boss who doubles the workload and paperwork while cutting staff.
remote control of advertising shock..sends an electrical shock to the people responsible for each commercial that annoys you

[This message has been edited by T'lainya (edited 02-05-2001).]

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Mon Feb 05, 2001 9:07 pm

Cloak of Improved Meeting Invisibility...

"Let's have Waverly look into...Waverly? Waverly? I could swear he was just here."

MM3 · Post by **MM3** » Mon Feb 05, 2001 9:52 pm

A golem to go to work in my place.

Pangur Ban · Post by **Pangur Ban** » Wed Feb 07, 2001 6:28 am

T'lainya,

I'll take your remote control ( great idea !! )and add two new linked powers:

"Remote control of time compression/extension"
a) Compresses TV commercial breaks to 1/10 of a second. The "saved time" is used for the next function.

or,

b) Extends TV commercial breaks to exactly one second longer than time necessary to answer the call of nature, wash, refill the popcorn and munchie bowl, get another drink, and return to the couch.

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"Why do dogs suddenly appear, just because you are near ???

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Wed Feb 07, 2001 6:33 am

Heh, good one Waverly. How about a simulacrum to do your work. Since it does 60% of 100% and I only work at about 10% it'd do more work than me anyway.

"Hey lets fire Gruntboy and hire his simulacrum - it does more work and doesn't need a constant supply of coffee and donuts to keep him awake." While they're at it, they can get the simulacrum to search for waverly