Doc Waverly At Work

Saigo · Post by **Saigo** » Mon Mar 12, 2001 2:23 pm

OK, now for a real question: how much does a stone weigh?

Wrong answers:
1) depends on the stone.
2) don't ask Melosh -- he has none.

I have tried to find out how many pounds are equal to the British unit of measure, and had no luck so far. Anybody?

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A Flame About This High...

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Mon Mar 12, 2001 2:28 pm

@Saigo: 14 pounds...or is there a joke I missed somewhere?

Minerva · Post by **Minerva** » Mon Mar 12, 2001 2:33 pm

Originally posted by Waverly:
@Saigo: 14 pounds...or is there a joke I missed somewhere?

That is a good things to know...

I have tough time in this country. I was brought up with metric...

Saigo · Post by **Saigo** » Mon Mar 12, 2001 2:37 pm

Originally posted by Waverly:
@Saigo: 14 pounds...or is there a joke I missed somewhere?

No joke. I hate to hear someone weighs so many stone and I don't know the conversion. Thanks.

Melosh, in Memphis they're known as the Tennessee Tacklin' Faggots. You'd have to know the history of the NFL in Memphis to understand. Anyway, gemless, stoneless...whatever. I just needed a number 2.

FoulDwimmerlaik · Post by **FoulDwimmerlaik** » Mon Mar 12, 2001 3:44 pm

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Mon Mar 12, 2001 4:05 pm

Originally posted by FoulDwimmerlaik:
<removes clothes, puts on medical robe, lies down on the Doc's table, shot of tequila in one hand, part of an ice sculpture in the other>

I'm knocking off for the day. My assistant, Gunther, will see you

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Mon Mar 12, 2001 5:06 pm

Originally posted by FoulDwimmerlaik:
<removes clothes, puts on medical robe, lies down on the Doc's table, shot of tequila in one hand, part of an ice sculpture in the other>

I can see this is going to be messy...LMAO

(I run as quick as I can..Good luck Doc.

)

More than purple pills for this one doc..

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Mon Mar 12, 2001 5:28 pm

I agree with Weasel..run

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Mon Mar 12, 2001 5:31 pm

Hi Lainy. Gunther can handle FlourDwiddlelike

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » Tue Mar 13, 2001 12:43 am

Originally posted by Waverly:
@Saigo Funny you should mention the word 'Greek' in that description of your problem. Go buy yourself a wheel of gouda...resist the urge to buy one of those giant summer sausages while you are there.

Are you implying that a wheel of Gouda is from Greece???

If not that, then what the hell are you referring to with giant summer sausages?

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Sat Mar 17, 2001 8:43 pm

The little comments are from my friend who has an amazing sense of humor!!!

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point
a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
(I love this one. Definitely have to do that sometime...)
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you
think." (or perhaps, "Sorry if I looked interested, I'm not)
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the
prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13) Don't use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective
if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."
(This i found particularly funny b/c I swear that so many people here
insist on writing emails telling you that they'll be out and where they'll be over
the next few days...and guess what...I have NO idea who they are and don't
really care.)
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies. Don't really do this@!!.
24)Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
25) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the
voices in your head that do."
29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
30) Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
31. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to
you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.

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Greetings from The Weasel!
The Lord Weasel!
The Warrior of the Light Spamland!
The Ayatollah of Spamolla!

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Sun Mar 18, 2001 5:22 am

Originally posted by Saigo:
Doc, ever since I found out about FoulGoatlover's predilection for hooved coitus, I can't get near feta cheese without screaming and running away. Can you cure me? Or do I have to give up Greek food forever?

Actually, Feta cheese is not made of goat milk but of SHEEP milk. I think mr Weasel would like to have a word or two with you about this ...

Hey, in Greece sausages are not really popular... nor are cigars (or presidential dildos or whatever)

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Ubik
Elder God Butt Pirate Pervert

Minerva · Post by **Minerva** » Sun Mar 18, 2001 6:05 am

@Ubik: ROFL

@Weasel: You seem to have plenty of time in your hands...

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Sun Mar 18, 2001 6:09 am

@Minerva: Hello dear, how are ya? Do you like Feta cheese?

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Ubik
Elder God Butt Pirate Pervert

Minerva · Post by **Minerva** » Sun Mar 18, 2001 6:21 am

@Ubik: I like it, though it is not my favourite. I like Brie, Camembert, Lancashire, and good old English Chedder.

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Sun Mar 18, 2001 6:28 am

Originally posted by Minerva:
@Ubik: I like it, though it is not my favourite. I like Brie, Camembert, Lancashire, and good old English Chedder.

I like camembert and brie too, the french pyrenea cheese, Graviera (greek too, it is faboulus

) and some varieties of smoked cheese... any other cheeselover around?

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Ubik
Elder God Butt Pirate Pervert

Darkpoet · Post by **Darkpoet** » Sun Mar 18, 2001 6:51 am

Cheese, did you say Cheese. I like cheese til they start putting seeds in them. : D

Minerva · Post by **Minerva** » Sun Mar 18, 2001 7:10 am

@Darkpoet: Seeds...