Favorite Quotes

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 10:07 am

Isn't war fun?

We didn't have lasers. We got lost and heard over the radio net:

"This is Lima Foxtrot 1769 (forward observer), we have your smoke on the enemy vehicles"

"Erm, Lance Corporal, why is there smoke coming through the back of the truck?"

It wasn't live fire, thank God.

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 10:24 am

- we also had en excersice in another part of the country.

Then we were to simulate being attackt(live fire) - our squad was armed with a heavy machinegun - a light machinegun and anti-tank weapon (where I was the loader) and rifles to the rest 5 man.

After we were finished we had set the terrain on fire - so our entier platoon (35 men) was running around at 2 a.m. trying to put out a fire where the flames where 2 meters high

(well we finished 3 hours later)

"Aim towards the second fire from the right"

- You try many funny things in the army

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 10:28 am

Oh its a laugh alright. I have a hilarious mental image of a bunch of Danish squaddies trying to put a fire out now

Did anyone choke?

Maurice · Post by **Maurice** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 2:04 pm

"If it moves, shoot it. If it doesn't move, shoot it anyway."

"Why is it that when you're looking for something and find it, you always find it in the last place you look?"

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 3:16 pm

@GB: Unfortunaly not - then we might have gotten the next day off, but no - just kept setting fire to the place

"I want to hear you scream" - "Then play some rapmusic"

[This message has been edited by Xandax (edited 02-22-2001).]

Saigo · Post by **Saigo** » Thu Feb 22, 2001 5:04 pm

"Fidelity in Revenge" -- series of prints by Kuniyoshi

"Watch were you're swingin' a dead leg!" -- Martin Lawrence again

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Tue Feb 27, 2001 5:13 am

Originally posted by Maurice:

"Why is it that when you're looking for something and find it, you always find it in the last place you look?"

Well that's because when you find it - you stop looking - and thereby that place will become the last place you looked

Oh well, a little more monty phyton:

-The man who speaks in ANAGRAMS (From the 3rd series of Monty Python-

Palin: Hello, good evening and welcome to another edition of Blood Devastation
Death War and Horror, and later on we'll be meeting a man who *does*
gardening. But first on the show we've got a man who speaks entirely in
anagrams.
Idle: Taht si crreoct.
Palin: Do you enjoy it?
Idle: I stom certainly od. Revy chum so.
Palin: And what's your name?
Idle: Hamrag - Hamrag Yatlerot
Palin: Well, Graham, nice to have you on the show. Now, where do you come
from?
Idle: Bumcreland.
Palin: Cumberland?
Idle: Stah't it sepricely.
Palin: And I believe you're working on an anagram version of Shakespeare?
Idle: Sey, sey - taht si crreoct, er - ta the mnemot I'm wroking on "The
Mating of the Wersh".
Palin: "The Mating of the Wersh"? By William Shakespeare?
Idle: Nay, by Malliwi Rapesheake.
Palin: And what else?
Idle: "Two Netlemeng of Verona", "Twelfth Thing", "The Chamrent of Venice"....
Palin: Have you done "Hamlet"?
Idle: "Thamle". 'Be ot or bot ne ot, tath is the nestquoi.'
Palin: And what is your next project?
Idle: "Ring Kichard the Thrid".
Palin: I'm sorry?
Idle: 'A shroe! A shroe! My dingkom for a shroe!'
Palin: Ah, Ring Kichard, yes... but surely that's not an anagram, that's a
spoonerism.
Idle: If you're going to split hairs, I'm going to piss off. (Exit)

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 3:10 am

Well since nothing much is happening right 'bout now - I'll just post more Monty

The LUMBERJACK Song
From "Monty Python's Flying Circus"
Continued from Petshop, Barber, or a variety of other Python sketches.

I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I... I wanted to be...

A LUMBERJACK!
(piano vamp)
Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of
British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang arund in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????

CHORUS

I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspendies?? and a .... a Bra????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a *girlie*? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

CHORUS

All: He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaaaayyy..... (BONG)

Sound Cue: The Liberty Bell March, by John Phillip Sousa.
-or-
===============================================================================

Dear Sir,
I wish to complain on the stronglyest possible terms about the previous
entry in this file about the lumberjack who wears womens' clothes. Some of
my best friends are lumberjacks, and only a FEW of them are transvestites.

Yours faithfully,
Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong, Mrs.

P.S. I have never kissed the editor of the radio times.

[This message has been edited by Xandax (edited 02-28-2001).]

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 6:30 am

"No woman, No cry"

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 8:37 am

Originally posted by Flagg:
"No woman, No cry"

Now there is an importent fact

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 8:39 am

@Xandax, I was wondering how long it would take for someone to respond to that one.

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 9:08 am

@Xandax: Where do you got all those Python's excempts, old chum? I want them... I want them badly...

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once the proud captain of the Love Boat - too much wanking onboard sunk the bloody thing

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 9:15 am

Originally posted by Ubik:
@Xandax: Where do you got all those Python's excempts, old chum? I want them... I want them badly...

[url="http://amazon.imdb.com/Quotes?0071853"]http://amazon.imdb.com/Quotes?0071853[/url]
[url="http://amazon.imdb.com/Quotes?0085959"]http://amazon.imdb.com/Quotes?0085959[/url]

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 9:40 am

Thank you old chum, oh allmighty Weasel

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once the proud captain of the Love Boat - too much wanking onboard sunk the bloody thing

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 9:42 am

@Ubik....no trouble....there is a lot of great information there.

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 10:02 am

Originally posted by Ubik:
@Xandax: Where do you got all those Python's excempts, old chum? I want them... I want them badly...

I have a 100 page word dokument - can't remember where I got it from - but I can mail it to you if you wanted it

@Flagg:

Well it is true (most of the time, anyway

)

---
all things dull and ugly (HYMN)
from Monty Python's Contractual Obligations Album

All things dull and ugly,
All creatures, short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God mad the lot.
Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their prudish venom,
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid,
Who made the spiky urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scant and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.

Amen.

[This message has been edited by Xandax (edited 02-28-2001).]

leedogg · Post by **leedogg** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 10:18 am

"i have made my 100th post!"--leedogg 2/28/01 yippie!!

pure unadulterated spam--just so i could post a hundred before i left!

later all, see you guys and gals, in a week. be good!

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i will break a hundred posts today!!yippey! spamland, here i come! bucked nekkid and ready to partay!!
it back to work i go. another 7 days in hell.

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 10:22 am

@Weasel, oh allmighty chum, Sly, sir, this is a GREAT site... never seen it, has LOADS of info! Thank you, oh, thank you

@Xandax: YES!!!! I WANT IT!!! I NEED IT!!! SEND IT TO ME!!!

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once the proud captain of the Love Boat - too much wanking onboard sunk the bloody thing

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Wed Feb 28, 2001 10:26 am

@Ubik: I have a spamemail adress at hotmail called: Hamlet1976@hotmail.com (pfee - hotmail

) - mail whatever emailadress you want me to send this dokument to

That goes for anybody else that want it.

(Golly I'm nice today

)