Famous last words

Maurice · Post by **Maurice** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 5:37 am

Ok, we've seen a lot of nice topics lately ... but this one has not been around yet. I'll start:

Group in the wilderness.
Wizard: Mm, something is casting a large shadow, and making a sound like an eagle.
Warrior, grabs his bow, and shoots up.
Wizard: I said it makes sound LIKE an eagle!
Next moment, the dragon who took offense (but not even a scratch) at the arrow swoops down.

Lvl 3 Warrior to group: So what if he's making all kinds of weird gestures? I'll still make him meet my blade.
Off he storms to assault a lvl 21 wizard ...

Rogue to group, seeing dragon hoard: "We're rich, we're rich, we're ri..."

You didn't think it was unguarded, did you?

Thief to major, after the latter one opens the closet in his room: "What? Me here in this closet? How did that happen??"

Text on tombstone of high-level lich:
"I'll be back..."

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 5:44 am

You asked for it:

"What a useless scroll. It just says, HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR over and over again..."

"He hit me for HOW MUCH?????"

"Why is this man speaking in sign language?"

"Look, behind you!!!" Said by a gnome(pc) to an ogre as a disliked parttymember crept up. End of the other member.

NPC: "Lets drop our weapons and talk."
PC : "Okay!"

DM:"You're very lucky, you all don't know how lucky you are! Save or take 210 points of damage"

"Trust me. I know what I'm doing"

Omar · Post by **Omar** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 5:50 am

"Hmmmm. I think I will cut this green wire. Those black and red ones are obviously decoys!"

"I'll be right back!"

"Let us split up and search this place effectively!"

Slyweasel · Post by **Slyweasel** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 5:53 am

I would like to say something before I get banned again!

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 5:54 am

"That gun isen't loaded"

"This cliff is stable enough"

"Get away from my bicykel, you big biker-fool"

Rail · Post by **Rail** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 5:54 am

"He's just one Mage!"

One group of adventurers decided to start knocking on doors, instead of sneaking around in a dungeon. Interesting results.

"Ha! I've got a -5 armor class. I'm practically invincible!"

"They're just kobolds!" (the kobolds just happened to be in possession of a collection of potions. Lots of fun.)

Omar · Post by **Omar** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 5:54 am

LOL

Rail · Post by **Rail** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 5:58 am

"Doesn't "Detect Magic" tell you if it's cursed?"

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 6:05 am

A couple more:

PC:”You don't need to see my identification.”
GM:"Which Force power were you using ?"
PC:"Er...optimism..."

"Go and finish my supper, woman. ...oops..., oh, oh no, um...forget it."

"Big deal. There's eight of us. He's only one priest. And he's not even wearing any armor !"
{Some people would have taken that as a hint !}

{inside a dark dungeon}
PC1:"Allright, I'm holding on to PC2's shoulder."
PC2:"No you aren't."
PC1:"Is that your shoulder, PC3 ?"
PC3:"Nope."
PC1:"That's bad. 'Coz I'm definitely holding on to someones shoulder !"

"My magic-user stands at attention and gives the fire giants the One-Finger Salute..."

PC1:"Why is there a moose staring into that bush over there ?"
{enemy hiding there}
PC2:"What the heck is a moose doing here ?"
PC1:"Maybe the attacker turned himself into a moose!"
PC2:"It's a shapechanging moose!"
PC1:"I'll cast Charm Person on the moose."
PC2:"I cast detect magic and look at the moose."
DM :"You detect no magic on the moose."
PC1:"It must be a non-detection moose!"
PC2:"Yeah, a shape-changing non-detection moose!"

NPC:"I jump down the cliff." {VERY long way down}
PC1:"I jump."
PC2:"I leap and grab onto PC1."
PC3:"Okay, I jump too."
PC1:"Just before I hit, I'' activate my Feather Fall."
PC3:"Your what ?"

Master: "Hey, where is my staff of power, you know, the one with the rune on it ???"
Apprentice: "Was that your Staff of Power ? That end table in the den at home needed a new leg and you TOLD me to fix it ..."

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 6:10 am

For those of you interested I have a document on my compu with over 800 famous last words. Just drop me a mail.

Karembeu · Post by **Karembeu** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 6:27 am

For those of you interested I have a document on my computer with over 200 Swedish swearwords...(from my "Worst Day of my life" escapade)....Just drop me a mail.

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 6:41 am

ROFWMAO. Very funny guys. Are these generic "last words" too?

No-one in his right mind would lay a minefield in a place like this.

He'd have to be one hell of a shot to get me from there.

What does this button do?

Drakron Du´Dark · Post by **Drakron Du´Dark** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 6:59 am

[This message has been edited by Drakron Du´Dark (edited 02-20-2001).]

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 7:05 am

So why do they call it sinking sand?

So anti matter and matter what happens when you combine them?

So if i pull this trigger what happens?

------------------
"I claim the right to contradict myself. I don't want to deprive myself of the
right to talk nonsense, and I ask humbly to be allowed to be wrong sometimes."
-- Federico Fellni

POWERGAMERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!

Omar · Post by **Omar** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 7:21 am

Ubik(in his sleep):"Oh Sel! Yes oh yes! Right there babe!"

Fortunately Mrs. Ubik was awake...

Brink · Post by **Brink** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 7:24 am

This is the most appropriate thread for this:

"Omar,Are you still chasing me?"

------------------
I lay my claim on the fence

Omar · Post by **Omar** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 7:27 am

Famous last words:

Brink:"Omar, are you still chasing me?"

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 7:36 am

"Honey, have you seen my 38 special? I was sure I left it in my locked drawer, under a dozen of nude Salma Hayek pics... honey?"

------------------
Field General of the PLFOSASAAS-SYABWS Freikorps. Gonna make men out of you wankers!

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 7:39 am

"Mr Sleep, if you had a vindaloo with hazelnuts for afters last night, why are you bending over AAAARAAAARRRRRGH!"

Maurice · Post by **Maurice** » Tue Feb 20, 2001 7:50 am

"See ya, I TOLD ya it would work!"

PC1 (reading from a piece of paper): Mix the red liquid with the purple one ...
PC2 (handling the equipment): Mm ...
PC1: Then add the brown dust to it ...
PC2: Done.
PC1: Mix the result with the yellow goo ...
PC2: It's starting to boil ... what next?
PC1: Uh, lemme see ... hey, funny, the note is torn!

Innkeeper: "Hey, you don't look very good this morning, friend. Had a rough night?"
Don't expect an answer from a lich.

Thief, escaping the city guards over the rooftops.
Thief: "And another jump!"
<makes a large jump over a low wall ... and then realises he's on the last building, 4 floors high ...>

Captain of the cityguard noticing someone trying to pickpocket him.
Thief: "Now, I have absolutely NO idea how your purse got INTO my possession!"

PC1: It's small and green, think we can take it?
PC2: Ah, a goblin. Sure, no problem, bring it on!
PC1: Here it is. Are goblins liquid??

PC: "Now I wonder what happens if I mix this with th.."

Alchemist: "How clumsy of me! Now it dr..."
<half a city block in ruins>