Bloodstalker's Tavern of Neutrality

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 11:02 am

changes, changes

Have things gotten a little soft in here. BS, your weakness for the ladies is glaring and I believe there is a secret coup to take over the tavern for themselves. Setting up a massage parlor, a message board, love potions. It sounds like a female establishment.

I'd ask McBane, Aegis, and Nippy to take these facts into consideration. I, for one, fear our humble owner may be a bit too soft. The concept of this tavern initially was the virtual pub of 'the man show'. Women were supposed to be invited to serve, not command. It was supposed to be about the booze and the wild animals, not love potions and aveda candles.

What ho! Please take mine words not out of context and let us grip this conspiracy by the throat and squeeze the life out of it. If not, we will all be servants in 'Ysh's spa of harmony'. Think of the tasks we'll be asked to carry out where a guy can only look and not touch. My still replaced with a daiquiri machine. The grizzlies replaced with koala's. The croc pit replaced with a make-over parlor. Oh, the humanity.

Sailor Saturn · Post by **Sailor Saturn** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 11:08 am

Originally posted by Ned Flanders
Have things gotten a little soft in here. BS, your weakness for the ladies is glaring and I believe there is a secret coup to take over the tavern for themselves. Setting up a massage parlor, a message board, love potions. It sounds like a female establishment.

I'd ask McBane, Aegis, and Nippy to take these facts into consideration. I, for one, fear our humble owner may be a bit too soft. The concept of this tavern initially was the virtual pub of 'the man show'. Women were supposed to be invited to serve, not command. It was supposed to be about the booze and the wild animals, not love potions and aveda candles.

What ho! Please take mine words not out of context and let us grip this conspiracy by the throat and squeeze the life out of it. If not, we will all be servants in 'Ysh's spa of harmony'. Think of the tasks we'll be asked to carry out where a guy can only look and not touch. My still replaced with a daiquiri machine. The grizzlies replaced with koala's. The croc pit replaced with a make-over parlor. Oh, the humanity.

Why would we want to get rid of those cute crocodiles and bears?

*jumps, startled as one of the crocodiles steals her miniskirt*

Okay...either the crocs need to go or I need to stop wearing skirts in here.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 11:13 am

a rival

by SS

Why would we want to get rid of those cute crocodiles and bears?

*jumps, startled as one of the crocodiles steals her miniskirt*

Okay...either the crocs need to go or I need to stop wearing skirts in here.

It seems I've found a rival; someone else on the boards who runs around with no pants on as often as myself. Naked is free.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 11:49 am

Ned, I fear my weakness has been overtaking me latly.

However, please note that the love potion was severed to initiate some kind of relationship between CM and the bears, as he was demanding tea in place of beer. I found this unacceptable, and decided to test his manhood, culminating in haveing him fight off the attentions of several lovestruck bears and escaping the croc pit. As he was successful, I dacided that he was man enough to drink tea.

As far as massages go, well, you wanted scantily clad wome didn't you?

@SS, I think you have cemented the crocs staying in the tavern, By all means, feel free to stop wearing skirts, and go natural

GandalfgalTTV · Post by **GandalfgalTTV** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 11:52 am

@Teacher of the crocs: Thank you.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 11:59 am

sort of

by BS
As far as massages go, well, you wanted scantily clad wome didn't you?

Yeah, but I wanted them dancing and swing around a pole while motley crue's girls girls girls blared in the background.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:10 pm

Yeah, but I wanted them dancing and swing around a pole while motley crue's girls girls girls blared in the background

Ned, you have reminded me of the true vision behind this place. I am shamed of what I have allowed to happen.

So what do you suggest as penance for my lack of direction?

*picks up phone, orders a large amount of mud, and anounces that tommorrow night there will be mud wrestling.*

Leves towel framed on wall as reminder of the dark days that have passed.

Lights cigar, spits in the can, and pours himself a shot.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:18 pm

time for more of the electric shine

BS,

Woo hoo!!!!!

time to break out another batch of the electric shine and kiss another 72 hours goodbye.

I didn't mean to harshin' on your scene but it seems you givin' a little too much chillin' to the grind-age. Sometimes one just needs to be refocused on the mission.

let's have a toast to the reestablishment of the helmet club.

**drinks and drinks and drinks some more**

Let's return the tavern to the true shrine of studliness it is and request that the harem bear gifts for entrance.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:24 pm

Request? I will make no requests, if anything, it shall be required.

Joins Ned in the drinking.

ahhh.... that's good stuff!

I was thinking about heving the barmaids drees in cave girl costumes. What do you think?

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:26 pm

by BS
I was thinking about heving the barmaids drees in cave girl costumes. What do you think?

Only if every male patron gets to walk around the establishment with a club so they can...insert imagination here.

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:34 pm

I will get this burn down one way or the other!!

Originally posted by Bloodstalker

I was thinking about heving the barmaids dress in cave girl costumes. What do you think?

Great idea!! And make them say 'Yes sir, Thank you sir'

More super advice from Waverly's Book. Cave women are for me

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:34 pm

I see no problem with that, however, I don't know about it being free.

Perhaps they must earn their clubs. Through some kind of contest.....how can we do this?

based on alcohol consumption? have to survive in the pit with the crocs? Successfully take beer from Buzzy and live to tell about it? The possibilities are endless.

GandalfgalTTV · Post by **GandalfgalTTV** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:35 pm

*Slips out of the bar...*

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:35 pm

Weasel, I am now CONVINCED you have foul intentions.

GandalfgalTTV · Post by **GandalfgalTTV** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:41 pm

*Slips back in...*

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:43 pm

Burn baby burn!!

Originally posted by GandalfgalTTV
*Slips out of the bar...*

What...and miss the fireworks show?

Originally posted by Bloodstalker
Weasel, I am now CONVINCED you have foul intentions.

You have me wrong...I'm behind you...way behind you..go for it

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:46 pm

You have me wrong...I'm behind you...way behind you..go for it

I agree completly, but think you may be drawing a target on my back.

McBane · Post by **McBane** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:49 pm

Originally posted by Bloodstalker
I see no problem with that, however, I don't know about it being free.

Perhaps they must earn their clubs. Through some kind of contest.....how can we do this?

based on alcohol consumption? have to survive in the pit with the crocs? Successfully take beer from Buzzy and live to tell about it? The possibilities are endless.

As patrons must sign the waiver before entering, we should be safe from liability here. I think we may be able to "randomly" select who deserves a club.

Of course, as your attorney.....I probably should be one of the first.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:49 pm

**looks back and smiles over the rapid attitude overhaul...oh yeah, and drinks heavily.**

**slides a shot of electric shine to weasel. snickers. this can only have interesting results, if conumed, of course.**

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Mon Jan 28, 2002 12:54 pm

I've already got a club

chic magnet +4
deals damage as club 1d6 +4
wielding raises charisma to 18 and immunity to charm

each successful strike female must make a save vs. charm or be charmed as the spell dire charm for 24 hours.

what're'ye carryin'.