Famous last words in the D&D world

Rudar Dimble · Post by **Rudar Dimble** » Sat Apr 13, 2002 8:55 am

I would like to collect 'famous last words' as they would be on ones tomb.

I know a few myself:

1. High level wizard and apprentice:
W: "Where is my Staff of the Magi?"
A: "Well, you DID ask me to fix the table"

2. Wizard in 2x1 room
"Let's see what my new spell 'Fireball' does...."

3. Fighter in Full Plate
"I am going to try and sneak upon this Gold Dragon with my move silently skill and steal it's treasure"

If anyone knows other good 'famous last words' or can come up with some funny ones, please feel free to post them. If there are going to be many I will make a top 10 at the end.

Cespenar · Post by **Cespenar** » Sat Apr 13, 2002 9:11 pm

Yet another Full Plate Fighter.
"Don't worry, the Beholder won't see me if i go *behind* it"

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Sat Apr 13, 2002 9:30 pm

So that's what beholder eyes do!

Obsidian · Post by **Obsidian** » Sat Apr 13, 2002 11:17 pm

LOL gaxx.

If you guys want, I started a thread on this in the SYM forum. For those of you who are brave enough to face it! ahahahahah

Ozmo · Post by **Ozmo** » Sun Apr 14, 2002 4:01 pm

"A Terrasquwhat?"

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Apr 14, 2002 4:22 pm

Moving this down to our RPG category, since it isn't BG2-specific.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Sun Apr 14, 2002 4:47 pm

Moving to D&D forum, as this deals with last lines for D&D.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Apr 14, 2002 5:01 pm

Heh! Why don't you eliminate my moving notice, @Aegis? It gives the feeling that we're belaboring a poor orphan.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Sun Apr 14, 2002 6:02 pm

Originally posted by fable
Heh! Why don't you eliminate my moving notice, @Aegis? It gives the feeling that we're belaboring a poor orphan.

aren't we?

The Stranger · Post by **The Stranger** » Mon Apr 15, 2002 8:34 am

My favorite was always:

"Uh oh..."

Although another good one was:

"Don't get mad, but..."

Rodo · Post by **Rodo** » Mon Apr 15, 2002 11:17 am

I've always been partial to these:

What's that?

Spell resistance?

(in an evil group) What do you mean a 23498712345987th level drow ranger dual wielding scimitars?

It's just a walking octopus-thingie...

All time favorite:
I wonder what this does

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Mon Apr 15, 2002 11:52 am

Read this one somewhere but I can't remeber where.

DM: As you sail over the lake, a waterdragon comes out of the deep and flips your boat. You and your party fall and into the water.
Wizard: I cast lightning bolt!

Mr.Waesel · Post by **Mr.Waesel** » Thu Apr 18, 2002 3:53 am

"That dragon isn't gonna attack us."

(in our DnD party only): Hey fighter! I set your head on fire!

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Sat Apr 20, 2002 2:22 pm

genuine examples from a D&D games I've been in:

DM: The pig you want to eat runs very fast into the dense forst squealing...
Minotaur PC: I'll sprint after it and try and squewer it on one of my horns with a flying head-butt!

NPC Dwarf: Let me out of here! Just undo my handcuffs!
PC: *undose handcuffs*
NPC Dwarf: Now just give me a weapon and I'll go on alone. I can't survive without a weapon!
PC: Well, I never really use this Warhammer+2 anyway...

DM: It looks as if your half-orc fighter is going to be unconscious for at least three weeks, thanks to that poison...
PC: Don't worry, I'll carry him!

Durwyn · Post by **Durwyn** » Mon Apr 22, 2002 12:14 pm

Here's some of my favorites

Don't worry, its just CR 3, we can handle it

PC-I cast Planar Ally to summon a balor
DM-do you have circle of protection agnst evil 10 ft radius memorized
PC-no...

what did you say the dc was again!!

PC-I like that wizard's hat, lets take it
DM-the wizard say's hello, welcome to shadowdale, my name is elminster.
PC-I shoot a magic missile at him
DM-okay, in that case...

NPC king-welcome, i would like to hire you for a quest
PC-Hey fat man with the money, im sorry i started the coup last month...

PC-DIE!!!

PC-it's just a kobold, hey how did it do that!!!

Erwin · Post by **Erwin** » Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm

some of my very favourite's include:

"theres no such thing as a bottomless pit"

" can I drink the funny coloured water"

" if i press this"

" im going to try to yank out the dragons tooth while its asleep"

" can anyone lend me a candle- its hard to see with all this thick black stuff around my legs"

"can i keep it as a pet"

" what do you mean ive turned into a werewolf"

" I dont trust that bridge im gunna try to jump the gorge

"

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Sun Apr 28, 2002 5:16 am

another good one from a real game, expertly DM'ed by a bloke incredibly skillful in the creation of paranoia...

DM: The fat man offers you a bed for the night, and says he'll just go and get some biscuits for you from his store room out the back. It's not much, but it's all he has...
fat man leaves
PC1: I think he's suspicious.
PC2: Yeah, he's probably going out the back to call the town guards!
PC1: Of course! But he wouldn't just do that, he'll probably poison the biscuits!
PC2: That murderer! We have to get out of here!
PC1: But he's seen our faces! We can't let him live!!
fat man comes back into room smiling and holding a tray of biscuits
PC1: I leap on the fat man and plunge my knife into his spine!
PC2: I throw my battle axe at his head!
DM: [rolls dice] Okay. You have completely slaughtered the poor old fat man. His head has exploded and brains are splattered all over the walls...his guts are leaking into a large puddle covering most of the small room and covering the carpet...
PC2: I search the body!
DM: You find a tiny picture of a girl, presumably a daughter or niece of the fat man, along with a letter addressed to an orphanage explaining that the old man is too poor to afford to look after the child anymore, and as he is the only family she has, he will have to give her up. And some biscuits.
PC1: What about weapons? Wasn't he carrying any poison?
DM: No. That's all. As you are about to put the worthless sentimental possessions into your bag, you hear two voices, one from the front door onto the street - a deep manly voice 'OPEN UP! THIS IS THE CITY GUARDS! WE HAVE REINFORCEMENTS AND KNOW THAT YOU'RE IN THERE!'
The other voice comes from the back door into the alleyway - it sounds like a young girl 'Uncle, I'm home!'...

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Wed May 08, 2002 7:06 am

I rolled a 1.

warto · Post by **warto** » Wed May 08, 2002 3:59 pm

DM: The shopkeep identifies the amulet as a necklace of strangulation.
PC: COOL!...I put it on.

Aramant · Post by **Aramant** » Wed Jun 19, 2002 12:47 am

Me (DM): As you approach the village, you realize the smoke is caused by a massive band of raiding orcs.
Our Classically Stupid 2nd Level Dwarf Ranger: I'll charge them! How many are there?
Me (DM): Er, that you can see? Roughly 40.
Our Classically Stupid 2nd Level Dwarf Ranger: ....Oh.

DM: You notice the wizard has a bird on his shoulder.
PC: I'll going to kill it.
DM: ..... Ooooookay....