Guidebook for Weasels

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Thu May 02, 2002 6:48 pm

I believe I have located the source of Weasel's power...

Using the Evil Plan (tm) generator, a group of psychologists working round the clock has succeeded in recreating Weasel's Evil Plan (tm), and they believe it would have looked something like this...

Congratulations on being the creator of a new
Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Power

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first incapacitate a rich and powerful CEO. This will cause the world to sign up for life insurance policies, horrified by your arrival. Who is this spammer? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as an intelligence transferred into a computer?

Stage Two
Next, you must seize control of the Internet. This will all be done from a underground secret headquarters of doom, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will leap from the nearest window, as countless hordes of computer programmers hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must activate your arcane ritual, bringing about the apocalypse. (COMM, anyone?

) Your name shall become synonymous with "dear God, no!", and no man will ever again dare call you names. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to name you evil man/woman of the year.

Minerva · Post by **Minerva** » Thu May 02, 2002 6:53 pm

Ah, so that's where Weasel's website has gone...

crazymancometh · Post by **crazymancometh** » Thu May 02, 2002 9:55 pm

Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first traumatize a senator. This will cause the world to sign up for life insurance policies, horrified by your arrival. Who is this demented madman? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a dark gunslinger?

Stage Two
Next, you must poison the Town's Water Supply. This will all be done from a hell, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will weep uncontrollably, as countless hordes of cultists hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must reveal to the world your plague of doom, bringing about horrors beyond man's comprehension. Your name shall become synonymous with sheer dementedness, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your supreme might, and the world will have no choice but to grant you three maidens of virtue true.

Aragorn Returns · Post by **Aragorn Returns** » Thu May 02, 2002 10:02 pm

and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences

no that's just ****ing impossible, people will always interupt, always. (which is kind of good about these posting forums, each person can actually give a full thought instead of being interupted)

Ode to a Grasshopper · Fri May 03, 2002 12:09 am

Your objective is simple: Destroy the Earth.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Hatred for all mankind

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first devour a pope. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, stunned by your arrival. Who is this demon straight out of hell? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two
Next, you must desecrate Mt. Rushmore. This will all be done from a abandoned church, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of winged monkeys hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must tauntingly wave your needlessly big weather machine, bringing about pain, suffering, the usual. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare refuse to be your prom date. Everyone will bow before your dashing good looks, and the world will have no choice but to restore your credit rating.

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri May 03, 2002 12:31 am

day 23 - still not king...

Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first seduce a famous actor/actress. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, alarmed by your arrival. Who is this spammer? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in your wizard's robes?

Stage Two
Next, you must desecrate the Internet. This will all be done from a floating fortress, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of mad scientists hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must demonstrate your unholy weapon, bringing about an end to sanity. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare roll his or her eyes. Everyone will bow before your superior firepower, and the world will have no choice but to fall madly in love with you.

Go ME !

Beldin

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Fri May 03, 2002 6:39 am

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: To show them all

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first blackmail a superman. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, confused by your arrival. Who is this really bad guy? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two
Next, you must seize control of the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will all be done from a corporate tower, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will die in a way you just don't want to think about, as countless hordes of evil clowns hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must prepare your opening of the seven seals, bringing about pain, suffering, the usual. Your name shall become synonymous with blood, and no man will ever again dare sabotage your music career. Everyone will bow before your incredible power, and the world will have no choice but to name you evil man/woman of the year.

I'll finally get the attention that I truly deserve

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Fri May 03, 2002 6:44 am

'The site you requested http://www.darksites.com/evilplan.php is not available.
Sites in the category Extreme/Gross Content sites are restricted.. '

bloody filtered school network pants. i'll show them all as soon as i can get home and formulate my diabolical plans for revenge...

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Fri May 03, 2002 6:49 am

Gross content

So it has the word blood and evil? At least you know your filter is working

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Fri May 03, 2002 6:58 am

Today's headlines:

"Wold domination planes spoiled with internet filter. Programmer get purple heard."

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Fri May 03, 2002 7:03 am

LOL

Just another hurdle for our would-be super villian Robnark.

Reminds me of Dr. Evil

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Fri May 03, 2002 7:25 am

Originally posted by Georgi
Using the Evil Plan (tm) generator, a group of psychologists working round the clock has succeeded in recreating Weasel's Evil Plan (tm)

You are saying wou were bored or needed a break from studying sometime late at night?

Though I must admitt, It seems very accurate for being such a rush job.

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Fri May 03, 2002 7:29 am

I was going to complete my Evil Plan (TM) but I was distracted by the "Free Sexy Webcam Girls".

Dammit! My short attention span and penchant for easy distraction will always be my undoing!

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri May 03, 2002 8:38 am

This was fun

Your objective is simple: Criminal Activities.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first seduce a pope. This will cause the world to choke on their food, overwhelmed by your arrival. Who is this threat to our children? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two
Next, you must seize control of the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will all be done from a haunted woods, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will tremble, as countless hordes of the religious right hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must prepare your arcane ritual, bringing about horrors beyond man's comprehension. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare refuse to be your prom date. Everyone will bow before your unmatched physical prowess, and the world will have no choice but to fall madly in love with you.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Fri May 03, 2002 9:04 am

I'll be your prom date, Viv

.

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Fri May 03, 2002 9:06 am

Good stuff

I'm a blood-drenched demon in a suit.

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: To show them all

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first incinerate a news reporter. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, alarmed by your arrival. Who is this demon straight out of hell? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a corporate suit?

Stage Two
Next, you must obliterate the Pacific Ocean. This will all be done from a hell, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of cultists hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must covertly move your armies of destruction, bringing about rivers that run red with blood. Your name shall become synonymous with blood, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your superior firepower, and the world will have no choice but to whisper your name in fear.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Fri May 03, 2002 10:09 am

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Madness

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first assassinate a superman. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, horrified by your arrival. Who is this nightmare beyond comprehension? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a dark gunslinger?

Stage Two
Next, you must seize control of the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will all be done from a underground secret headquarters of doom, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of mean english teachers hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must send forth your plague of doom, bringing about rivers that run red with blood. Your name shall become synonymous with dear god no, and no man will ever again dare sabotage your music career. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to give you control of the

Now, to put the wheels in motion.

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Fri May 03, 2002 10:21 am

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first incinerate a rich and powerful ceo. This will cause the world to swallow nervously, paralyzed by your arrival. Who is this unholy menace? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a dark gunslinger?

Stage Two
Next, you must vaporize the Pacific Ocean. This will all be done from a medieval castle, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of cultists hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must send forth your great supernatural forces, bringing about something that's really metal. Your name shall become synonymous with sheer dementedness, and no man will ever again dare roll his or her eyes. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to name you evil man/woman of the year.

Kayless · Post by **Kayless** » Fri May 03, 2002 10:46 am

Evil is good

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Love (Yes, it works)

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first clone superman. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, frightened by your arrival. Who is this spammer? Where did he come from? And why does he look so good in battle armor?

Stage Two
Next, you must steal the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will all be done from a medieval castle, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of classic thugs hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must unleash your armies of destruction, bringing about an end to sanity. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again sabotage your music career . Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to grant you three maidens of virtue true.

Works for me!

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri May 03, 2002 10:54 am

Originally posted by Ode to a Grasshopper
I'll be your prom date, Viv .

Okay

*starts to smile but gets a suspicious look in her eye.*

This is to an actual 'prom', right? This isn't another of those "Oops I have a flat...we'll have to spend the night in the backseat of my car holding each other to conserve heat."?