Guidebook for Weasels

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Fri May 03, 2002 10:56 am

Originally posted by Vivien
another

He's tried this on you before? Did it work?

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri May 03, 2002 11:05 am

Originally posted by HighLordDave

He's tried this on you before? Did it work?

Let's just say I've learned from experience.

It's never a good sign if they have a well stocked mini bar, mood music and video camera's aimed at the back seat....

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Fri May 03, 2002 11:15 am

by Viv
It's never a good sign if they have a well stocked mini bar, mood music and video camera's aimed at the back seat....

sounds like a boy scout, or a cath...., well I'll leave that out lest this degrade to a religious discussion.

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Fri May 03, 2002 11:37 am

He couldn't have been the second one, Flanders; this guy was trying to score with Vivien, not you.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Fri May 03, 2002 11:42 am

My comment was more in general given the criteria, not directed specifically at Viv.

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Fri May 03, 2002 11:46 am

Originally posted by Ned Flanders
My comment was more in general given the criteria, not directed specifically at Viv.

In that case, check this out.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Fri May 03, 2002 11:50 am

LMAO!!!! brutal, I'd expect a little more of the same pretty soon from the onion.

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Fri May 03, 2002 12:42 pm

KidD01 Evil Plan Ver 001

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Power

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first incinerate a rich and powerful ceo. This will cause the world to swallow nervously, overwhelmed by your arrival. Who is this spammer? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two
Next, you must seize control of the Internet. This will all be done from a underground secret headquarters of doom, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of ninjas hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must unleash your corporate takeover, bringing about rivers that run red with blood. Your name shall become synonymous with all that is wrong with the world, and no man will ever again dare cross you. Everyone will bow before your cunning intelligence, and the world will have no choice but to give you control of the planet.

More variants coming up

PS : I'm surprised they have option for Elemental thingy - seems like the writer also a MechWarrior fan

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Fri May 03, 2002 1:37 pm

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: To show them all

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first clone a pope. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, bewildered by your arrival. Who is this ripe bastard? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in battle armor?

Stage Two
Next, you must vaporize the Internet. This will all be done from a amusement park, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of ninjas [couldn't resist] hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must covertly move your plague of doom, bringing about rivers that run red with blood. Your name shall become synonymous with dear god no, and no man will ever again dare make you clean your room. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to restore your credit rating.

Who's da man?!

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Fri May 03, 2002 1:56 pm

Thanks Georgi !

I check on Georgis link on this thread and this come up nicely

:

EVIL QUIZ

If you think you've got what it takes to be a supervillain, then please take the following placement quiz. This is to test your evil potential, and determine whether you possess the necessary attributes to make it in today's evil world.

QUESTION #1: How do you start your morning routine?

A) Wake up at 6:00 A.M. and sing merrily in the shower!
B) A five mile jog and rigorous set of exercises.
C) Hit the snooze alarm for the tenth time in as many minutes.
D) Have a cup of coffee, read the daily newspaper and then plot the downfall of western civilization.

QUESTION #2: Which of the following job skills do you possess?

A) Excellent management potential.
B) Ability to focus on the task at hand.
C) Looking busy whenever the boss walks by.
D) How to explain your master plan in under sixty seconds.

QUESTION #3: What did you want to be when you grew up?

A) A policeman
B) A doctor
C) A ballerina
D) Supreme dark overlord of all mankind. Either that or a lawyer.

QUESTION #4: Do you have any pets?

A) A big lovable dog.
B) A bird of some sort.
C) An iguana.
D) A white furry cat that you stroke constantly.

QUESTION #5: How do you normally spend your weekends?

A) Sports activities in the great outdoors.
B) Watching television.
C) Hanging out with friends.
D) Constructing doomsday devices in your basement.

QUESTION #6: What are your religious beliefs?

A) Monotheistic: Christian, Jewish, Muslim
B) Pantheistic: Buddhist, Hindu, Pagan
C) Atheist or Agnostic
D) I am actually an ancient Babylonian God awoken from a terrible sleep and destined to destroy all mankind.

QUESTION #7: What torments you in your greatest nightmares?

A) A fiery building from which you cannot escape.
B) Monsters that tear you limb from limb.
C) Your ex-wife demanding alimony payments.
D) Unicorns, rainbows, and puppy dogs with big eyes.

QUESTION #8: What would you say is the greatest threat to society today?

A) Crime, drugs, and gangs.
B) Corporations run amok.
C) Nuclear war.
D) Me.

QUESTION #9: What is your normal reaction whenever confronted by a holy symbol, garlic, silver weapon or holy water?

A) Feel the divine light surround your spiritual aura.
B) Bewildered confusion.
C) Chuckle at their superstitious beliefs.
D) Run away while screaming: "It burns! It burns!"

QUESTION #10: It's the end of the world. An atomic blast has just leveled the cities and destroyed the human race. Mutants now walk the streets and the seas have boiled away to nothing. You've just seen your best friend torn to pieces, and civilization as you know it is over. Do you...

A) Vow to someday rebuild society.
B) Double over in grief and wait for a painful death.
C) Try to remember the plot to "The Road Warrior."
D) Congratulate yourself on a job well done.

ANSWERS

Tally up your answers, and find out which letter you answered the most.

Mostly A's, B's or C's - You unfortunately do not possess the necessary qualities to be an evil supervillain. Please continue with your studies and apply again next year. Mostly D's - Excellent.

I really should thank Georgi for making my allignment "Pure Evil" from "Pure neutral" now

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Fri May 03, 2002 3:50 pm

Originally posted by Vivien:
Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies

As if it's not already?

Originally posted by T'lainya
Your name shall become synonymous with sheer dementedness

Ummm....

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Fri May 03, 2002 4:02 pm

Originally posted by Georgi

Who is this spammer? Where did they come from?
Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity,

You were saying???

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri May 03, 2002 4:03 pm

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Money

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first expose a senator. This will cause the world to whisper among themselves, overwhelmed by your arrival. Who is this spammer? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two
Next, you must seize control of the Internet. This will all be done from a corporate tower, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will gibber like madmen, as countless hordes of corporate suits hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must reveal to the world your corporate takeover, bringing about an end to sanity. Your name shall become synonymous with all that is wrong with the world, and no man will ever again dare beat you up. Everyone will bow before your cunning intelligence, and the world will have no choice but to restore your credit rating.

Minerva · Post by **Minerva** » Fri May 03, 2002 4:09 pm

Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: Destroy the Earth.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Hatred for all mankind

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first incinerate a news reporter. This will cause the world to bite their nails, overwhelmed by your arrival. Who is this evil genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in battle armor?

Stage Two
Next, you must seize control of the Internet. This will all be done from a air fortress, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of mean english teachers hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must activate your needlessly big weather machine, bringing about horrors beyond man's comprehension. Your name shall become synonymous with the spice girls, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling sanity, and the world will have no choice but to pray to you for enlightenment.

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Fri May 03, 2002 4:48 pm

Originally posted by Georgi

Congratulations on being the creator of a new
Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Power

LMAO

Close, but no cookie for you.

Congratulations on being the creator of a new
Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first traumatize a town mascot. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, horrified by your arrival. Who is this despoiler of all that is good and nice and true? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a supervillain costume with gimmicks?

Stage Two
Next, you must obliterate the Internet. This will all be done from a underground secret headquarters of doom, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of cultists hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must let loose your unholy weapon, bringing about horrors beyond man's comprehension. Your name shall become synonymous with sheer dementedness, and no man will ever again dare take your lunch money. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to pray to you for enlightenment.

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri May 03, 2002 5:08 pm

Originally posted by Weasel
you must let loose your unholy weapon

I have nothing to say but

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Fri May 03, 2002 5:21 pm

I'm as shock as you do, Sleepy

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Fri May 03, 2002 5:29 pm

Originally posted by Mr Sleep

I have nothing to say but

See I tried to be nice, and I even started COMM to prove my point.

But NOOOOOOO! can't have it that way. So now I will unleash my Unholy Weapon!!!

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Fri May 03, 2002 5:36 pm

Weasel, pls stop. I haven't recover from my shock yet

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Fri May 03, 2002 6:27 pm

Originally posted by Weasel

See I tried to be nice, and I even started COMM to prove my point. But NOOOOOOO! can't have it that way. So now I will unleash my Unholy Weapon!!!

I am speechless

and shocked