The NPC torturing thread!

[Alson]

Welcome to The NPC torturing thread!
here, everybody is welcomed to share his method of torturing his most hated NPC's...

Well, my most hated are (of course ) Anomen, Jaheira, and Hear'Dalis...
So i have a tortue for each:
Anomen:
What is more fitting then taking him to the Order of the Radiant Heart, then polymorhping him into a squirll and silencing him, letting all the big, shiny paladins he worshipes so much taunt him without any way of fighting them back ...

Jaheira (only when i play a Blade):
I don't even let her out of her cage...
First, i tell her i'm not going to help her, just to get her mad.
Then, when she's locked in the cage, i CLUA some animals before her, and sluaghter them . Then, i let her out of her cage and kill her for the way she treats everybody. Then, i dance over her dead body (Offensive Spin, anyone ? ), and finally, after i finish dancing... I sing .... that blade song is so great ....

Hear'Dalis (this is my fav):
Take him to the pool of lava in shadow ruins.
Load him up with my best regeneration item (it's worth it!).
And this is the Grand Finala:
Cast Feeblemind on him...
Then, of course, drop him from the party.
If his regeneration is high enough, he will sit there... taking damage... FOREVER!!! MWAHAHAHA!!! ....

[fable]

Anomen. Tie him to a chair, stick a gag in his mouth, and cast Summon Barney.

[Lost One]

These are methods of torture I've already used at moments when I felt undeniably frustrated and angry!
Jaheira - Oooh, at the moment she spoke to me from her cage (in her usual *****y, outspoken fashion)...I had Imoen send a couple of magic missiles flying in her direction and had my PC home in arrows on her for archery practice.

Minsc - I chose the worst (evil) dialogue options at the cage encounter, but still the fool thought I only meant to make him "mad enough to break free". Hah! So...I had an unarmed combat with him, and Minsc was pummeling me quite badly...so what did I do? I got a sword and backstabbed him. Heheh, drow technique.

I can't remember any others at the moment, but I'm sure as my evil party progresses I will!

[Alson]

Originally posted by fable
Anomen. Tie him to a chair, stick a gag in his mouth, and cast Summon Barney.

That would be one COOL spell!
It should be a High Level Ability for Wild Mages ...

[Dezarond the Red]

i hate haer dalis, so i would tie him to a chair and everytimed he called me razen would flash a naked picture of whoopi goldburg, then rosaine, then anothany hopkins and let him cry and sob like the little girl he is, then i would kick him in the shens till i wore the skin to the bone, then i would pore some acid on and let it bure, and everytime he cryed he would get a naked picture of...dun..dun.dunnnnnnnnnn....my friend daves great grandma....and so would end the most annoying bard in the realms!!

[Aqua-chan]

Hmm...I've never seen a thread like this before...I'm in!

Cernd - Tie him down to his beloved pillars of his Druid Grove an set fire to the woods. Kill the trolls and eventually him, too...

Korgan - Tie him down and set him in front of a tavern with lots of people drinking in front of him. I see where he'd get mad at some point...Charm him, then make him hack himself up with his dinky little axe. Ooooh, I HATE him.

Keldorn - Summon a Spider and poison the idiot. Give him a Ring of Regeneration and then cast Imprisonment on him. That would be quite disturbing...

Aerie - Use CLUA to warp her into the cage with the squirrel and moose (Rocky and Bullwinkle) outside of the circus and cast Stinking Cloud (If it doesn't smell bad enought as it is).

Nalia - Go save her keep. When you get to talk to Tor' Gal, turn around and tell her you've had a change of heart. Help the Trolls hack her up and claim her Keep anyway.

Once again - I object very strongly to all Anomen comments.

[Thrar]

haer'dalis burning for eternity is definitely my fav so far. this could actually be a reason to get him and visit temple ruins again
give him decent fire protection (like 2 of those 40% rings) and ring of reg might b enough to keep his feet warm...

great idea! -_- ^_^

[Aqua-chan]

I know I should be against it, but...

I love the Anomen-squirrel thing. I can see him sitting with his rodent head bowed in shame...Of course, he'd probably just run up and bite your leg, knowing that Cleric.

I'd love to seee somebody's torture for Yoshimo. Who knows, I may even try it...muahahahahaha! *cough* *gag* uh, yeah...

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

My favourite torture for Nalia is to lock her in her own keep's dungeons.

Jaheira-Have her polymorph into a bear and leave her in the Copper Coronet animal pit for the gladiators.

Aerie-Lock her in a cage again. At least her wings won't get diseased this time.

Jan-Jan+Flesh to Stone=Garden gnome!

Anomen-Have him kill his father, and then go on a rampage in the Order of the Most Radiant Heart.

Minsc-KILL BOO!

[kopywrite]

(A bit fast for torture, but very spectacular and messy)

Valygar and Edwin: give Val Sanchuudoku and have Edwin cast fireshield. Have Val hit Edwin. Result -- rapid ever increasing cascade death.

[Astafas]

I must say I love having Korgan hand over money to small children and beggars.

[Alson]

Originally posted by Ode to a Grasshopper
...
Aerie-Lock her in a cage again. At least her wings won't get diseased this time.

Jan-Jan+Flesh to Stone=Garden gnome!...

ROFL !
Great ideas Ode...
Jan is in my party, but i think i'll have a special cage saved for Aerie... Can somone create a 'wings' item? i'll drop it one inch out of her reach ....

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

Considering BG2 doesn't let you use cheesegraters they're the best I could come up with.

[Arcane]

Anomen- have him kill his father, turn him in to the radiant hart for questioning (in a cage of course), testify AGAINST him, hang him from the cage over a pit of do-gooders (paladins) and have them throw little jansen grenades at him while the rest of the party laughs at the little bastard (pardon my french)

Aerie- cast "protection from whiners" on yourself then cast "regenaration wings" then "regeneration" on her. Proceed to saw her wings off and laugh at her while the little stubs are sawn on and off and on and off

mazzy- cast "dire charm" and have her kill everyone in trademeet (then take her to the radiant hart) and let the paladins tell her in her face that she will never ever become a paladin

edwin- keep him as edwina

korgan-have him sleep with aerie

aerie (again)- have her sleep with korgan

cernd- hang him from teh tallest tree in the grove, make the trolls run wild through the groves, tearing everything up, laugh as he cries in pain, then burn the forest (except his tree)

sarevok- turn him into a paladin

muahahahahahaha damn im so evil (actually all my characters have been neutral good and from that alignment/character test it says im a neutral good ranger wtf?)

[fable]

edwin- keep him as edwina

SPOILER...
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This actually happens in the epilogue to ToB, if you have Edwin in your party. You find out that he assumes power over the Red Wizards of Thay--for a day, after which he's evidently ensorceled to be female, and apparently has his power locked up. He becomes a bitter waitress in a tavern.

Poor Edwin. He's far too intensely single-minded to succeed in his goal, whatever his magical talents. He lacks people skills.

[Alson]

About the idea of a 'wings' item...
Can somone make a 'Red Bull' potion?
Like, when you drink it, you gain the wings item ....
The wings item can be a robe or a cloak...

[dragon wench]

Nalia: Give her a potion of master thievery and make her pickpocket the "less fortunate" for the few possessions they have.

I am sometimes curious about what makes people react so strongly to a particular NPC. I mean, Nalia is probably no more irritating than Aerie, yet for some reason she really gets under my skin. I suspect that in my case it has less to do with her incessant wining and more to do with her patronizing attitude towards poverty.........
Although I suppose if she has led a sheltered life, and had influences like her aunt (I really wanted to kill her! ) to contend with, her persona is probably not surprising.

[JackOfClubs]

I left Edwin as Edwina and locked him with Yoshimo in the abandoned house in the Slums (the one you have to go to when Jaheira gets cursed).

I kicked Cernd out of my party in the temple ruins section before defeating the Shadow Lord. Lost forever in a desecrated forest...

[Phantom Lord]

Anomen: Take him to the order of the radiant heart, cast fear on him and let him loose in full view of his fellow knights.

Jaheira: Dismiss all other party members temporarily in hell, then chose to sacrifice a party member in the selfishness test.

Korgan: Let him fight with a staff all the time.

[Aqua-chan]

@ Phantom - LMAO! Maybe I'll try your Jaheira-sacrafice on Keldorn (If I can tolerate him that long...). I love your Anomen one, by the way...Oh god, can't you just see it? That would be quite funny, actually...

@ DW- I know what you mean. For some reason Nalia and Anomen tend to get bashed a lot for some unknown reason...(Well, Anomen's reason may be just a tad clearer than Nalia's )

By the way, does any one else think that Nalia has an uncanny resemblence to Drew Berrymore? Creeeeeepy...