Fantasy Football - Pick a Side

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Fri Jun 28, 2002 9:22 am

Re: All-Star Team!

@LOL

Great job, Lost One!

Originally posted by Lost One
Ruthless Eye will no longer be used in the FINAL, but Chollina will - he's a bald Cyclops. We've also replaced the drow linesmen for ochre jelly linesmen - in this case they will not be able to see or lift a flag...so consequently..won't interrupt the game.

ROFL

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Fri Jun 28, 2002 9:24 am

Originally posted by C Elegans
I don't like dwarwes. I don't like elves. They are too boring and predictable. I like the Mimicks, they at least offer variation and change

Go Mimicks!

I follow suit.

I have to go with the team that put me and Nippy out.

Go Mameluks!!

Ode to a Grasshopper · Fri Jun 28, 2002 9:26 am

If he does @HLD, I'm not fussed. Speedos aren't my style.

Just wait 'til next year when Tammy and I can start using our newest recruits-Bahamut and Tiamat!

Lost One · Post by **Lost One** » Fri Jun 28, 2002 11:44 am

Originally posted by C Elegans
@LOL Great job, Lost One!

Thank you C, I'm sorry you could not attend the tournament in its early stages but there's always 4 yrs time, right? (not much considerin' the lifespan of the likes of dragons & elves).

Anyways, FFIFA has been thinkin' (yes...we do that sometimes) and have decided to award all the participants who have gone out - with a parting gift.
Yes, we decided to give you all a magnificent PAPERWEIGHT with the FANTASY CUP label! Enjoy!
At the moment, the crowd seem to be divided between the Mimics and the Dwarves..though the Dwarven fans have been much louder.
POST YOUR STRATEGIES FOR THE FIRST HALF!
By Sunday 30th, I wish to have the final wrapped up nicely.
PS: In the meantime I'll be enjoyin' the Dwindledon Tennis Grand Slam from the comforts of my dungeon. This time I've bet on Chickenman winniin' - GO CHICKENMAN!

Kameleon · Post by **Kameleon** » Fri Jun 28, 2002 12:04 pm

Wahey! A paperweight! Just what I've always wanted! Thanks Lost One, it'll be great for...weighing down all my paper. My virtual paper.

Oh well, it's the thought that counts right?

GO MIMICS!!!!

Silur · Post by **Silur** » Fri Jun 28, 2002 5:48 pm

Re: All-Star Team!

Originally posted by Lost One
@HLD: I promise you FFIFA is lookin' very closely into the referee business - on another hand, Ruthless Eye will no longer be used in the FINAL, but Chollina will - he's a bald Cyclops. We've also replaced the drow linesmen for ochre jelly linesmen - in this case they will not be able to see or lift a flag...so consequently..won't interrupt the game.

Well, so much for my offside trap tactics...

Say, Aegis, That machine of yours looks mighty nifty. High pressure, huh? Roll us all into our goal. Nice idea.

The mimics are extatic at the thought of being launched from the dwarven machine, and they've practiced for hours on turning into airfoils and boomerangs in mid air. Some of the guys have even formed a group calling themselves The Flying Mimics. Especially Mimistouta and Ronaldmimic show great ability and maneuverability in the air, being able to strike at the ball much like dive bombers. To achieve this "reverse nick" strategy (if the ball cant fly to the head, fly the head to the ball), we fake attack with The Flying Mimics faking footballs near the Dwarven goalie hoping to be picked up and launched. Whenever any one of them is airborne, we try getting the ball up in front of the Dwarven goal.

Besides the troup turning into footballs near the Dwarven goalie, we keep the Dwarven Ale kegg outfit, hoping to make the dwarves thirsty and wishing for halftime. Our goalie will mostly take the form of a U-shaped halfpipe with legs. Any shots from the Dwarven device that actually are the real ball will be redirected back whence they came.

@HLD: We strongly resent these false accusations, and would like to present Astafas as our legal counsel in these procedings. It is sad to see that the great Elemental team are such sore loosers and that they see the need to present their bickering publicly in a court room.

@Supporters: Thank you all! The Mimic team are inspired by your support, and will do their best to bring victory to you all.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Fri Jun 28, 2002 9:29 pm

Who said anything about launching the Mimics in the steam cannon? I'm going to be pushing the Mimics away using the high powered hoses attached to it.

Nothing says defense like a high pressure Water hose...

Silur · Post by **Silur** » Sat Jun 29, 2002 7:28 am

Originally posted by Aegis
Who said anything about launching the Mimics in the steam cannon? I'm going to be pushing the Mimics away using the high powered hoses attached to it. Nothing says defense like a high pressure Water hose...

Pray tell, how is your Ale-inspired goalie ever going to tell the difference between my mimics and the real ball when he loads up the steam cannon? We will do our best to make sure your goalie get's possession of _a_ ball as often as possible

.

The mimics are well trained in the martial arts principle of using the others strength against them, so setting themselves firmly on the ground (= large base with spikes into the ground) and a body shape resembling a U-shaped halfpipe. We will attempt to intercept your water beams at the lower end, redirecting it and aiming with the upper end. We'll focus on pushing the ball with the resulting water jets, but the thought of watering down a dwarf once in a while is too irresistible to avoid

Congrats Aegis, we've managed to turn a respectable football game into that "push a ball with a water jet" game you find at amusement parks...

Never mess with a shapechanger - we're natures equivalent of a swiss army knife

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Sat Jun 29, 2002 10:35 am

Originally posted by Silur

Never mess with a shapechanger - we're natures equivalent of a swiss army knife

Cheap and Useless?

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Sat Jun 29, 2002 10:40 am

I think he meant 'Only useful for getting rocks out of horses hooves'...

Silur · Post by **Silur** » Sat Jun 29, 2002 11:50 am

Originally posted by frogus
I think he meant 'Only useful for getting rocks out of horses hooves'...

I would think that the horse appreciates it, so I take that as a compliment. My personal experience is that they unexpectedly bend at the middle and cut pieces of your hand off... What I was referring to, however, was in an allegorical sense.

Locke Da'averan · Post by **Locke Da'averan** » Sat Jun 29, 2002 4:32 pm

Originally posted by Aegis
Cheap and Useless?

nope, if it's actually made in switzerland(yeah right) it costs pretty much, so it's pretty expensive and useless

looks like the mimics can't loose, simply because of the fact that they can adjust to anything aegis can come up with... oh, EXCEPT *bsttsthshtsper´disconnectinginternetszd-fxdxslkaae* poks

Lost One · Post by **Lost One** » Sat Jun 29, 2002 6:21 pm

Results of First-Half!

Highlight to see:
Dwarves 0 -0 Mimics
"Wow, the atmosphere here in this final is jus' unbelievable! Everybody from the kobold president to the X-Men are watchin'...this has become a central event in this wide spannin' Fantasy World. The tough-to-beat Dwarves versus the master-of-tricks Mimics are today's lucky finalists! Hopefully, this match will be worth the 1,000 gold pieces ticket price..but despite the cost, the crowd are very much excited & both sides have almost as many fans as the other, though the Mimics have a majority!
The two captains greet each other and the game is off! The Mimics pick possession of the ball..they have turned into the shapes of ale keggs with 4 legs (possibly to distract the Dwarves)..the two Mimic forwards are makin' a good passin' game to each other..the Dwarves are tryin' to hold 'em back & they're doin' pretty well, especially with all the ale they had prior to the game which has given 'em quite the boost. Before the Mimic with the ball has time to get close to the area, a Dwarf comes in hard and tackles it, usin' one of his glove spikes to pierce the wood of the kegg. Chollina gives a foul to the Mimics and hands the Dwarf a yellow card for the rough challenge. The ball is crossed into the Dwarven area, however..the crazy dwarven machine repels the ball with water jets comin' from the thrashin' hoses..5 Mimics however..took the time to use their turn-into-football trick once more to approach goal. The Dwarves are frantically tryin' to clear the area of any footballs - yells of Mimics are heard as they're constantly kicked - however, it's hard to hold 'em back and soon enough, the Dwarven goalie finds 2 footballs headin' his way! He saves one, and luckily the water hose deals with the other. He puts that ball into the steam cannon - shoots it into the air and ho! it changes in mid-air to a boomerang Mimic! Mimistouta flies out then reverses direction towards the Dwarven area in blindin' speed! As he comes back, he dives from the air and kicks one of the footballs with amazin' power gained from gravitational force - & the ball finds the net! But no..that wasn't the real ball; just Ronaldmimic who seems to have been heavily injured and is limping.
The Dwarves continue workin' furiously on the defense throughout the first half, their loud dwarven drinkin' song keepin' them organized and workin' together as a team, while the Mimics are very much attackin' individually. The water hoses are doin' a lot of work out there, though the Mimics found a way to divert the direction of its path by shapeshiftin' to U-shaped halfpipes - receivin' the water and releasin' it back from whence it came - a good trick but costly as it replaces the effective turn-into-football manoeuvre and does not allow these Mimics to move (spikes at their base connectin' 'em to the ground).
The Dwarves seize their chance and advance throughout the last 7 minutes of first-half - however, the new wetness of the field caused by the hoses and further Mimic trickyness prevents them from being a real threat - and also - nymph cheerleaders have invaded the pitch!; unable to resist the temptation of bathin' almost-naked through these 'water games'

.
Well...what a match it has been so far, but at the moment both sides are square with 0 goals."
Ok, after readin' through this, I want both teams to decide quickly on whether they wish to remain with their old strategy, change something, or whatever. Remember: This is your last chance of affectin' the outcome - and the crowd can have a say, too. So far, 40% are cheerin' for the Dwarves and 60% for the Mimics. POST ME YOUR THOUGHTS!

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Sat Jun 29, 2002 6:25 pm

This is hillarious, Lost one, great stuff!

Silur · Post by **Silur** » Sun Jun 30, 2002 4:40 am

Ok, I'll go first this time.

For starters, we need to refine the dive bomber tactics... If we manage to get Mimistouta or Ronaldmimic to the steam cannon, as soon as he is launched, everybody else stops looking like footballs as not to confuse the airborne. I think Ronaldmimic will have little trouble remembering this

. Also, keeping those two high in the field shouldn't be a problem, since the linemen are a bit incapacitated.

Second, we will try to distract the dwarves with a mimic turning into a coffer of gold (trying to make it look like it comes from the audience) at some crucial moment. It will only work once (maybe), so make it count, guys...

Since the field is soaked, the mimics will try using flipper-like feet for better propulsion. We have also decided to take Rivaldmimic off the field, because he's started acting too much. If the dwarves actually tackle us, then perhaps it's acceptable to fall, but acting out the Death star explosion was rather much (and it took him far too long to pick himself up...) It's surprising that he didn't get a card for that. We don't expect to be as lucky next time. Tottmic has received strict instructions to stay on his feet.

The last seven minutes were a nightmare. We really need to stop the dwarven offensive higher up in the field and counter attack quickly. We need to win during play, because if this goes to penalties, we'll be in trouble for sure... I wish we'd practiced penalty shots. If it goes to extended time, we will try to get either corners or free shots near the dwarven goal and bring up the goalie midfield to help out.

Lost One · Post by **Lost One** » Sun Jun 30, 2002 7:45 am

Ok, thanks for that Silur.

Now, all that's left is Aegis's choice of whether he wishes to carry on with the same strategy or change.
Then, finally...can Fantasy World Cup be sealed!
In the meantime any extra support for each team will be taken into account.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Sun Jun 30, 2002 9:03 am

I won't be able to post a counter attack for a few hours, when I get time to do it. Sorry for the inconvience, but I'm hoping this warning will be enough to hold off the game until then. Sorry, again, and don't worry, my strat will be a doozy.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Mon Jul 01, 2002 3:41 am

Now it is 11am GMT, it must be about 3am or so where Aegis is...

*Sob* looks like I will miss the final since I go away in a few hours...

Lost One · Post by **Lost One** » Mon Jul 01, 2002 10:35 am

Originally posted by Aegis
I won't be able to post a counter attack for a few hours, when I get time to do it. Sorry for the inconvience, but I'm hoping this warning will be enough to hold off the game until then. Sorry, again, and don't worry, my strat will be a doozy.

Ok, but we're only waitin' until before midnight GMT time today (Monday). Or else I'll have to use the same strategy you were usin' before (which could either be for the good or the bad).
"It seems knights and villains, that the infamous Fire Rain of the gobloid region has poured down once again and game has been suspended for a few hours. We're sorry for the delay, and if you're in the region, remember to buy our pyrobrellas which are 100% fire resistant."

Lost One · Post by **Lost One** » Mon Jul 01, 2002 6:16 pm

FINAL RESULT!

Mimics 2 - 0 Dwarves

"Finally, the Fire Rain has ceased and we can once again rejoin the second half of this excitin' Fantasy World Cup Final!
The Dwarves march into the field confidently after quaffin' down more ale, singin' their customary battle song. The Mimics enter less noisely, yet none less intimidatin'.
Gameplay begins, the number 10 dwarf with possession..he charges down the field with the ball on his feet, passes a few Mimics on the way, approaches the area...then *woah*, the defendin' Mimics had turned into footballs once again and the Dwarf striker trips over himself in tryin' to decide which ball he was to strike. Bummmer!
The Mimics compose themselves and start takin' over the momentum of the game jus' like they did in the first half. In one of their attackin' occasions, the Dwarven goalie had accidentally picked up a Mimic (mistakin' it for the ball) and placed it in the steam cannon, launchin' it off in the air. Bad mistake...as it turned out to be Mimistouta - who, shapeshiftin' to a boomerang - flew right back towards the goalie's face. The goalie ducked and in the meantime, Ronaldmimic had dodged a couple of water hoses to shoot the ball past the goalie's head. 1-0!
The Dwarves gettin' more and more desperate, especially since their best midfielder had been suspended for this game and their 'invincible' goalie had let in a rather 'easy' goal.
By 35 minutes of the second half, the ale was losin' its effect on the Dwarves and the accumulatin' water from the hoses was drenchin' their beards and clearly annoyin' 'em (this because the Mimics were re-directin' the water from the hoses towards 'em).
Still, the Dwarves push on with extra numbers, workin' in unison for that vital goal, but the second comes once again from Ronaldmimic, who with amazin' skill and the helpful use of flipper-like feet to propell himself easier through the flooded Dwarven side of the pitch, sends a ball whizzin' past the alert goalie, jus' goin' through the inner right post.
The whistle sounds and the game is over. The Mimics have shown that the beautiful game is much still alive, and as to Dwarven organization - well, it only got them this far. Mimics 2 - 0 Dwarves!"

The MIMICS have won the FANTASY WORLD CUP! For the 5th time!! Congrats!

As a prize, Silur has won 10,000 platinum pieces, a copy of the real trophy, our best selection of kobold & goblin slaves +++ the status of godhood in Fantasy Football. Well done!
Aegis, on the other hand, I'm very sorry you couldn't make it through! But on the positive side, in 4 yrs time, the Fantasy World Cup will be brought to the Dwarves! so perhaps a chance for you to redeem yourself there. As a partin' gift, we give you a magnificent paperweight with the Fantasy Cup label..enjoy!

As for all the other participants - Gwalchmai, Ned Flanders, Astafas, Weasel/Nippy, Kameleon, Fezek, HighLordDave, Dottie, Ode & Tamerlane, Beldin, Da'averan -
THANKS FOR PARTICIPATIN'! Better luck in 4 years!

Feel free now to post whatever you feel like...I've sure had enuff of commentatin'.

PS: I would also like to thank the Board of Analysts who helped me come up with the scores. Lastly, if it weren't for FFIFA, we would never have had such an amazin' display of refereeing this year, many thx to them!