mystery solved!!! why anomen is such a git...

Jaesha · Post by **Jaesha** » Tue Oct 15, 2002 1:57 am

Let me just say, it´s peelarious!

Bringing back the "spells not worth memorizing" (fav thread of all time!) what about fuzzy image? You know what I´m thinking!

UserUnfriendly · Post by **UserUnfriendly** » Tue Oct 15, 2002 3:49 pm

you mean the everyone else is drunk spell? or the eye strain spell???

blur....never bother to memorize it, the bonuses are nice, but the blur cloak gives you it for free...

you have read "anomen and kelsey, sitting in a tree" parts one and two in forgotten wars, right???

i am very proud (maybe thats not the correct adjective) of my humble and quite sick contributions, though onxy's one just simply blew me away...and made me barf....

jason hates that thread, and probably me too....

oh btw...have you seen the justincrompton slash mod??? (also in forgotten wars fanfic)

its a really sick and twisted piece of work...if i was not studying i would try it out, but to run it you need to spend maybe 2 hours installing and getting the right party mix....

lady a and others have said its just too funny, and utterly sick....i like it!!! i have been too busy with studys to even spend much time on imoen romance...

UserUnfriendly · Post by **UserUnfriendly** » Tue Oct 15, 2002 10:25 pm

see the post above for part one...

"i am a treeant in illusion...please, oh please spit on me as i am dying of thirst..."

change that to "pee on me"

anomen: what, you little brats, what the ^%$#@!! are you doing???

pc: (trying not to laugh) anomen!!! knight of helm!!! remember thine oath, thou mayest not strike the helpless and weak no matter the provocation!!!! even if those little boys peed on thee, thou cannot use thy weapon and might on them!!!! hahahhahahahahah!!!!

anomen: but, but my lady, i have yellow stains on my greaves and its really beginning to stink!!! ooooooo...now its beginning to burn and itch....

as anomen sits down and tries to wash his legs off and his greaves and boots from the public fountain, he does not realize his back is to a house, with a open upper story window, and he does not realize some of the halfling boys are looking out, and they (well, you know)

anomen:%$^%$##$%@^%$&^%&^&^&****(*^&$$^%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i need a bath...MOMMY!!!!!

pc: oh dear, oh dear, what ever shall we do, it seems the whole city of athlanka wants to pee on you!!! anomen, my friend...some vile warlock or mage must have cast a illusion on you, so that everyone, except your friends in the party, must see you as a garderobe, and thus they simply do what comes naturally....

pc slaps anomen on the back, peels off the sign, and quickly tosses it to aerie and jan, both of whom cannot seem to breath....

imoen: gosh, you know charname, i missed being with you so much!!! gives the pc a kiss on the head, and you are very pleased to see the sparkles of mischief in her eyes, and the laughter in her voice...

pc: well, i think we got a good party balance here....good friends, (and a poor helpless annoying git we can torture for fun, lots of fun...)

sorry fable, but i know you have just fallen off your chair, laughing, so its ok...

Jaesha · Post by **Jaesha** » Wed Oct 16, 2002 3:12 am

Yup, did read part one and two...

...pretty damn sick if you ask me! Fun, nevertheless, gonna read the slash mod now...

UserUnfriendly · Post by **UserUnfriendly** » Wed Oct 16, 2002 3:16 am

just a preliminary fleshing out, here, i envision a whole nasty and humiliating mini quest involving salvanas and anomen...

salvy: so my little turtle dove, what brings such a sweet innocent, such a lush curves and sweet figure, blossoming with sweet transition from girlhood to womanhood to this place???

aerie: charname, help!!!!

pc: oh a cad, a rogue, a defiler of women, a lothario, a svengali, a creep!! anovermin, smite this miscreant into mush!!!

(aerie says charname, how can you say all those things without laughing? pc says i learned when i was in candlekeep how to say things without laughing cause whenever we had lessons, imoen would always tickle my ribs when ever it was time for me to stand up and recite the lesson, so i had to learn to say things while i really really wanted to laugh my head off....pc hugs immie.. and smacks her on the tush...)

anomen: thats anomen, my lady...have at ye, ye sick and evil varmint....oh i say, you look familiar...oh no, no, i was wrong, i say take thy hands off lady aerie or i shall crush thee like a bug...

salvy: oh no, what ever shall i do....oh wait, i recognize you!!! you were that disgusting and vile creature, that perversion of all that is good and beautiful!!! you were in drag last saturday and tried to pick me up!!!

party falls over laughing, and only the pc is able to stagger up and ask anomen...

pc: hehehheh anomen, you were in drag?? hahahahah....how ever did you hide that catapillar you wear on your face??? giggglllellle....

salvy: actually he didnt, but i do have a number of dwarvish admirers, and i simply assumed this, this crossdresser was a very tall dwarf...or a really really ugly woman, with facial hair

pc: a very tall dwarf? a ugly woman, with facial hair or a very tall dwarf...i really really feel sorry for you, salvanas...hahahahhahah!!!

anomen: those are base libel and vile allegations without basis in fact...i have never been in this place until a day before i met you my lady....

pc: bernard, do you recognize this man???

bernard: well yes, my lady, hes that creep who has been pestering all my customers with questions about honor and adventure, wait!!! he was also here last week dressed up as this really really ugly woman!!! was rubbing up against salvanas here, touching him in all sorts of inappropriate places in public, and finally i had to throw a bucket of water on him to cool him off, and to prevent my license from being pulled by the city for allowing public indecency and lewdness in a drinking establishment....poor salvanias was shaking and trembling as i had the bouncer toss this gimp out....

anomen: lies, all lies!!!!

salvanias: oh yeah? you left in such a hurry before the guards were due to show up you left this behind....(holds up a money pouch with the delryn family crest on it...)

anomen: my wallet!! (snatches it up and runs out the door, wailing...)

pc: good riddence, git...

the party is stunned and just stands around for a second, as they try to imagine anomen in drag, pinning the little elf gigalo against the bar, and rubbing himself all over the elf....

imoen: eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aerie: thats what i was going to say....

this is just a preliminary idea, and i think i try to develop it some more...i could really use a good idea on special anomen and salvanias humiliation topics...

UserUnfriendly · Post by **UserUnfriendly** » Wed Oct 16, 2002 3:18 am

oh crap, fable is going to absolutely kill me...you guys think this is funny, tho, right????

please say its funny.....

eeekkkkkk!!!

Jaesha · Post by **Jaesha** » Wed Oct 16, 2002 3:30 am

Fable, it´s funny. Let the bunny be!

It´s great User! BUT, and there is always a butt, I do think we need to cut him some slack, if the mod involves every piece of anomen abuse we´ve ever spoken of, we´re gonna get pretty tired of it if it takes up way too much of the dialog.
Keep it simple!

User, did anyone ever consider a mod with Bodhi as a party NPC, a romance would be cool too, I think, although twisted. Hm?

serjeLeBlade · Post by **serjeLeBlade** » Wed Oct 16, 2002 4:11 am

Originally posted by Jaesha
did anyone ever consider a mod with Bodhi as a party NPC, a romance would be cool too, I think, although twisted. Hm?

Yes, anyone=Quitch methinks...
Didn't even start to write it yet, I fear...

(how does this belong to this thread anyway?)

UserUnfriendly · Post by **UserUnfriendly** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 11:37 pm

havent you wondered why anomen is such a git??

pc: anomen!!! you silly git, are you ok?

anomen: reeehhhsghhh,,,,mommy...i need my dolly....

pc: of course, how silly of me, the stupid dufus keeps his brains in his ass, not his head....aerie, can you take a look at his head???

aerie: of course, cutie pie....

aerie: hey, charname, look what i found underneath his helm...this was why he had such big bangs, or wore a hat or helm all the time.....

pc: why its the letter "h", a birthmark....

jan: why it sure is...charname, have i ever told you of my grandnuncle, biggles jannsen? no, i would remember telling you of my extra ordinary grand uncle biggles....he had been cursed when young by a sorceror of truely remarkable powers, and due to the pocketful of magical rogue stone dust he just happened to have in his pocket when he accidentally found the sorceror's lair, (due to a certain matter of unpaid wages from his previous enployment at the de ale's rogue stone mine...) the curse the sorc tossed at him did not kill him, but made him "unfixed" in reality...he would in fact pop in and out of alternate realities, and every few years he would manage to pop into the janssen home, and regale us with tales of people he met in alternate realities....one time he mentioned a "surpassingly annoying git, such a loser, idiot and total whiner that he must have been a godling who had peed in Ao's drinking cup" for him to be cursed with such a aweful fate...and very much like a ****roach, in that even though everyone around him dies, he inevitably survives unharmed, humiliated, but unharmed...my granduncle said this git, called

Arnold Rimmer

nearly drove him to suicide in less than an hour in his company,,,and by the end of the hour he was praying to be jumped into the abyss rather than listen to the pathetic git talk about his shoe trees...anyway, my grand uncle warned us if we ever spoted a dufus with the letter "h" inlaid in metal on a persons forehead, we should run, not walk fast away....

pc: well, its a birthmark, not metal....

anomen: aaaaggggghhhh....

aerie: hes coming to, charname....

pc: well, good morning anomen rimmer....

anomen: what? thats delryn....

now for those of you who love the bbc series red dwarf, doesnt this explain everything???

ano, ano, anomen rimmer,
he's a stupid git, without a glimmer....

(sung to the tune of "arnold rimmer" from the lister nightmare dream in season 7 or 6.)

Baldursgate Fan · Post by **Baldursgate Fan** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 11:53 pm

Originally posted by UserUnfriendly
havent you wondered why anomen is such a git??

pc: anomen!!! you silly git, are you ok?

anomen: reeehhhsghhh,,,,mommy...i need my dolly....

pc: of course, how silly of me, the stupid dufus keeps his brains in his ass, not his head....aerie, can you take a look at his head???

aerie: of course, cutie pie....

aerie: hey, charname, look what i found underneath his helm...this was why he had such big bangs, or wore a hat or helm all the time.....

pc: why its the letter "h", a birthmark....

jan: why it sure is...charname, have i ever told you of my grandnuncle, biggles jannsen? no, i would remember telling you of my extra ordinary grand uncle biggles....he had been cursed when young by a sorceror of truely remarkable powers, and due to the pocketful of magical rogue stone dust he just happened to have in his pocket when he accidentally found the sorceror's lair, (due to a certain matter of unpaid wages from his previous enployment at the de ale's rogue stone mine...) the curse the sorc tossed at him did not kill him, but made him "unfixed" in reality...he would in fact pop in and out of alternate realities, and every few years he would manage to pop into the janssen home, and regale us with tales of people he met in alternate realities....one time he mentioned a "surpassingly annoying git, such a loser, idiot and total whiner that he must have been a godling who had peed in Ao's drinking cup" for him to be cursed with such a aweful fate...and very much like a ****roach, in that even though everyone around him dies, he inevitably survives unharmed, humiliated, but unharmed...my granduncle said this git, called

Arnold Rimmer

nearly drove him to suicide in less than an hour in his company,,,and by the end of the hour he was praying to be jumped into the abyss rather than listen to the pathetic git talk about his shoe trees...anyway, my grand uncle warned us if we ever spoted a dufus with the letter "h" inlaid in metal on a persons forehead, we should run, not walk fast away....

pc: well, its a birthmark, not metal....

anomen: aaaaggggghhhh....

aerie: hes coming to, charname....

pc: well, good morning anomen rimmer....

anomen: what? thats delryn....

now for those of you who love the bbc series red dwarf, doesnt this explain everything???

ano, ano, anomen rimmer,
he's a stupid git, without a glimmer....

(sung to the tune of "arnold rimmer" from the lister nightmare dream in season 7 or 6.)

More Anomen bashing!

I have never used that sod, but really, User, must you incur the wrath of Aqua Chan?

UserUnfriendly · Post by **UserUnfriendly** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 12:06 am

of course i am afraid of aqua, but i just had to share my moment of ephiphamy!!!!

i realized anomen is really arnold rimmer, the same literary creation, and realizing that, i finally figured out why everyone hates him...its not his fault, he was just written to be hated.....

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 7:03 am

*Shakes head dissaprovingly*

Why do you do this, User? Is it a desperate cry for attention? Are you expressing you feelings of hopelessness and frusteration on Anomen? Or are you just pshycotic?

You have to know one of these days I will get you back, right? It's not like you're doing this all for nothing... Obviously, you are so deeply involved with the topic of Anomen

p

) you CONSTANTLY bring it up. How many Anomen threads are there in forums BG2, ToB and SYM? I count five, and not even to mention the others that I haven't seen around recently like the "I hate Anomen" thread and the "Favorite NPCs" thread. And now, you bring up another one? I find it odd that you hate Ano soooo much that you can't stop posting threads about it.

Food for thought for you, User.

Jaesha · Post by **Jaesha** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 8:07 am

Nah, he´s just sharing his inner creativity with us, AC.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 8:13 am

There's already one Anomen-bashing thread. Regardless of my sympathies on the matter, I suspect we don't need two. If there are no arguments to convince me otherwise, I will close this one in 24 hours.

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 10:47 am

Originally posted by fable
There's already one Anomen-bashing thread. Regardless of my sympathies on the matter, I suspect we don't need two. If there are no arguments to convince me otherwise, I will close this one in 24 hours.

THANK you, Fable.

Aubrey · Post by **Aubrey** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 12:38 pm

There's already one Anomen-bashing thread. Regardless of my sympathies on the matter, I suspect we don't need two. If there are no arguments to convince me otherwise, I will close this one in 24 hours.

There is nowhere in Forum Rules saying that a second thread with the same subject is not allowed. (If it has been discussed before, please feel free to correct and enlighten me.)

However, I understand that the present is not of too much use for SoA players. So, I would suggest it be moved to SYM instead of being closed.

Cheers

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 12:43 pm

Originally posted by Aubrey
There is nowhere in Forum Rules saying that a second thread with the same subject is not allowed. (If it has been discussed before, please feel free to correct and enlighten me.)

However, I understand that the present is not of too much use for SoA players. So, I would suggest it be moved to SYM instead of being closed.

Cheers

But Aubrey, both threads are active... There are a hundred ANomen bashing threads, however, we don't need several of them running at one time. User is just posting this for fun when he can put it as a post in the other thread.

Besides, it's one less thread I have to check every hour to defend Ano from the slammers.

Aubrey · Post by **Aubrey** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 1:28 pm

@Aqua-Chan --

One can choose a subject of one's choice and post about it, whether there is another one active or not -- save for a spam case.

Since User seems to have started the topic just for fun, let it go to SYM, I say. Closing a thread just for one's convenience (I think you didn't seriously mean it, did you?) doesn't sound fair to me, and it's not an argument either.

If there is no rule (or an addendum of a sort) in this forum stating otherwise, I still believe it should be moved, but not be closed. In any case, I'm not the one to decide its fate. I'm just saying my opinion.

Cheers

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 1:52 pm

Originally posted by fable
There's already one Anomen-bashing thread. Regardless of my sympathies on the matter, I suspect we don't need two. If there are no arguments to convince me otherwise, I will close this one in 24 hours.

Sir fable, is it possible to merge the threads ? I think it'll satisfy both sides

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Sat Oct 19, 2002 2:33 pm

I'm not angry over it, however, I just don't see a point. Why couldn't he have posted this in any other thread? Merging the two would work with me if it's possible. Good idea, KidD.

Yes, I was joking about thread jumping, Aubrey.

Close it, merge it, do whatever, Fabulous (I like that nickname for you

). But I just wonder what the point is...?

User! Stop making trouble with these threads!