The only English, I'd have you know.Originally posted by The Z
Yep...the mother tongue
None of that 'aboot' or 'eh', around here please.
(I love it when they say 'eh'. "You'd better watch it, eh?" Man, I loved Canada.
)English Assignment
so what changed your mind about Canada? (you were using past tense.....Originally posted by Nippy
(I love it when they say 'eh'. "You'd better watch it, eh?" Man, I loved Canada.
)"Those who control the past control the future, those who control the present control the past" And I rule the PRESENT!!
I put the 'laughter' back in 'slaughter'
I put the 'laughter' back in 'slaughter'
Sorry about the off-topic posts....
Ah, so u used to live there..... that explains it....Originally posted by Nippy
The fact that I came back from there?
"Those who control the past control the future, those who control the present control the past" And I rule the PRESENT!!
I put the 'laughter' back in 'slaughter'
I put the 'laughter' back in 'slaughter'
I seem to be making wrong assumptions all over the place..... I think I better shut up now for a while....Originally posted by Nippy
Nope. I went there for two weeks and experienced the 'eh'ness of Canada.
"Those who control the past control the future, those who control the present control the past" And I rule the PRESENT!!
I put the 'laughter' back in 'slaughter'
I put the 'laughter' back in 'slaughter'
A good thing to always remember is what style of writing your story is. I learned long ago that you don't want to be mixing two styles. For instance, compare Tolkien's LotR's, with Salvatores books. Both are well written, and can pull the reader in, but they are two distinct types.
The main difference, I feel, in the types is the amount of description used, and where it is used. As was said, Tolkien wrote in an epic fashion. Plenty of melodious words, written as if it were prose. It also involved much description in order to have the reader see Middle Earth, instead of imagine it.
Salvatore, on the other hand, has a more 'street-wise' writing style. It candors more to the imagination of the reader, describing the details of surroundings and such in a manner that is common in speech, and allows for the reader to imagine what it would be, based on the brief's that were given to them.
Quite often, you see a big difference in conflict in the two types. Combat is usually a side note in epic style, where it takes a more 'shining' lead in 'street-wise'. It's a good idea to keep these in mind when writing. From what I've seen, it's almost like your trying to mix them. Trust me, in the end you'll only wonder about it. It might be best to think of a style, and stick with it.
The main difference, I feel, in the types is the amount of description used, and where it is used. As was said, Tolkien wrote in an epic fashion. Plenty of melodious words, written as if it were prose. It also involved much description in order to have the reader see Middle Earth, instead of imagine it.
Salvatore, on the other hand, has a more 'street-wise' writing style. It candors more to the imagination of the reader, describing the details of surroundings and such in a manner that is common in speech, and allows for the reader to imagine what it would be, based on the brief's that were given to them.
Quite often, you see a big difference in conflict in the two types. Combat is usually a side note in epic style, where it takes a more 'shining' lead in 'street-wise'. It's a good idea to keep these in mind when writing. From what I've seen, it's almost like your trying to mix them. Trust me, in the end you'll only wonder about it. It might be best to think of a style, and stick with it.
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Skooter327
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Re: English Short Story
I like this thread. What do you all think about starting a sentence with "and?"
Shouldn't that be incantation and then rather than than? Also, I don't think the comma after "fools" is neccesary. I'm not positive, so get a second opinion.Originally posted by The Z
Who were they to kill with a flick of the wrist, and utter an encantation that could burn all the trees in an Elven Vale to the ground?
If the law couldn't hunt down these fools, than someone should, Mordred reasoned.
I like this thread. What do you all think about starting a sentence with "and?"
You spelling is correct, though the comma usage is fine, IMO.
Starting with add is (I think!) gramatically wrong, but it is a useful anchor in the beginning of a sentance, take this I suppose:
Starting with add is (I think!) gramatically wrong, but it is a useful anchor in the beginning of a sentance, take this I suppose:
Jon Irenicus, plague of Bhaalspawn, destroyer of life and defiler of nature stood watching the carnage that his dragon caused in the fair Elven city of Suldanessalar. A tight, raw feeling tugged inside of him, a small twinge of emotion managed to eak out a response from his normally stony and hard exterior. Fear? No. Anticipation was the only thing he felt.
The Bhaalspawn had beaten Bodhi. Irenicus knew he was coming. And he also knew that he would win...
Perverteer Paladin
Re: Re: English Short Story
Its incorrect. Why use it? "And" is supposed to be used a bridge between two sentences or ideas. If you start a new sentence with "and" that bridge is non existant. Its like building a bride from land into the middle of the ocean. Theres nothing to connect. If you can avoid excess words: DO IT! And at the beginning of a sentence can be avoided, and when writing professionally, always should be avoided.Originally posted by Skooter327
I like this thread. What do you all think about starting a sentence with "and?"
“Caw, Caw!” The call of the wild calls you. Are you listening? Do you dare challenge their power? Do you dare invade? Nature will always triumph in the end.
[color=sky blue]I know that I die gracefully in vain. I know inside detiorates in pain.[/color]-Razed in Black
[color=sky blue]I know that I die gracefully in vain. I know inside detiorates in pain.[/color]-Razed in Black
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Skooter327
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Re: Part 2
I tend to get prtty nit-picky when it comes to the mechanics of writing and such. The following is intended to be constructive crtisism. If I go overboard, just tell me to back off.
Grabbing a throwing axe from his belt, he whirled towards his attacker only to see him fall prey to a more accurately shot arrow.
This sentence confuses me; be careful with your use of pronouns. You should have something that refers back to who is doing all of this. If you are using "he"-type pronouns for the dwarf, use something else for the orc. Perhaps:
Grabbing a throwing axe from his belt, Mordred whirled towards his attacker only to see his mark fall prey to another's arrow.
It was a vast expanse of stone and iron, abandoned and weapons lay upon the floor, tainting the ominous beauty that symbolized the workmanship of the Dwarven Golden age.
Abandoned is an adjective, so it must be used with a noun. perhaps you meant to switch "abandoned" and "and" around.
The once, solid floor was cracked, and a few skeletons littered the hall.
You only need a comma before "and" here. Otherwise, its a good sentence.
Loose stones, and spare wood had been piled to form a small barricade, that had collapsed, due to the latest orc charge.
Here, you dn't need a comma after "stones." Also, the end of this sentence is rather cumbersome to me. I suggest something like:
The elves had piled loose stones and spare wood to form a makeshift barricade, but it collapsed under the orcs' latest charge.
Battle was a frenzy, a dance of death, where all senses were heightened; a place where power was born. And power was one thing Mordred seeked.
A semicolon is used between two independent clauses. "A place where power was born" lacks a subject. This may need more refinement:
Battle was a frenzy, a dance of death, where all senses were heightened; it was a place where power was born--and power was one thing Mordred seeked.
The elf was summoning a fireball that would have no trouble decimating the orcs. And Mordred.
In keeping with the D&D aspect of this story, you might consider evoking instead. Its up to you.
Also, "and Mordred" is a fragment. It might be permissable to use it that way here, but I would include it with the preceeding sentence:
The elf was evoking a fireball that would have no trouble decimating the orcs--and Mordred.
The gusts of wind the fireball created were audible even above the crys of the wounded and the banter of steel.
I think "crys" should be "cries," but I could be wrong. Also, I think this sentence could be made more "epic," should you wish it to be. How about:
Flames erupted, stirring gusts of wind that roared above the agonizing cries of the wounded and the banter of steel.
The fire screamed past the pillar, in fury, unable to penetrate the enduring stone workmanship of the dwarves.
Good sentence, but you don't need a comma after "pillar."
And flames licked at him, unable to fully envelope another victim.
Maybe:
Flames licked at him in anger,...
Smoke obstructed his view, and though elven vision was much more keen, they would have trouble navigating this deterrent as well.
That first clause is great, but the rest is a little hard to follow. You seem to like to use "though" a lot. I have that habit too, and one should avoid overuse of words like that. "Although" usually works in it's stead, and is a better word. Make sure to state what you're comparing with "more keen." I'm assuming your audience isn't as up on D&D races as we all are here. I like:
Smoke obstructed his view, and while elven vision was much keener than that of the dwarf, the elves would be hindered by the smoky veil as well.
To his surprise, an elf emerged from the fog with his bow knotched, and his blue eyes peeled.
I'm not sure if "knotched" is the correct word here. I thought it might be "nothced" or "knocked," but I couldn't find an archery-related definition for either in my dictionary. Perhaps using "drawn" in place of "knotched" would avoid any uncertainty. I think "drawn" may be more correct anyway, as it refers more to the bow, while "knotched" refers more to the arrrow.
The blade tore the limb from the core of the body, and blood flowed like a stream from the wound, soaking the elf's tunic, and leather armor.
There is no need to use a simile to describe the blood here; it is quite literally streaming. Also, there shouldn't be a comma after "tunic."
The blade tore the limb from the core of the body, and blood streamed from the wound, soaking the elf's tunic and leather armor.
I saw a lot of words in there you could upgrade if you wanted to. Maybe I'll post some later.
I tend to get prtty nit-picky when it comes to the mechanics of writing and such. The following is intended to be constructive crtisism. If I go overboard, just tell me to back off.
Grabbing a throwing axe from his belt, he whirled towards his attacker only to see him fall prey to a more accurately shot arrow.
This sentence confuses me; be careful with your use of pronouns. You should have something that refers back to who is doing all of this. If you are using "he"-type pronouns for the dwarf, use something else for the orc. Perhaps:
Grabbing a throwing axe from his belt, Mordred whirled towards his attacker only to see his mark fall prey to another's arrow.
It was a vast expanse of stone and iron, abandoned and weapons lay upon the floor, tainting the ominous beauty that symbolized the workmanship of the Dwarven Golden age.
Abandoned is an adjective, so it must be used with a noun. perhaps you meant to switch "abandoned" and "and" around.
The once, solid floor was cracked, and a few skeletons littered the hall.
You only need a comma before "and" here. Otherwise, its a good sentence.
Loose stones, and spare wood had been piled to form a small barricade, that had collapsed, due to the latest orc charge.
Here, you dn't need a comma after "stones." Also, the end of this sentence is rather cumbersome to me. I suggest something like:
The elves had piled loose stones and spare wood to form a makeshift barricade, but it collapsed under the orcs' latest charge.
Battle was a frenzy, a dance of death, where all senses were heightened; a place where power was born. And power was one thing Mordred seeked.
A semicolon is used between two independent clauses. "A place where power was born" lacks a subject. This may need more refinement:
Battle was a frenzy, a dance of death, where all senses were heightened; it was a place where power was born--and power was one thing Mordred seeked.
The elf was summoning a fireball that would have no trouble decimating the orcs. And Mordred.
In keeping with the D&D aspect of this story, you might consider evoking instead. Its up to you.
Also, "and Mordred" is a fragment. It might be permissable to use it that way here, but I would include it with the preceeding sentence:
The elf was evoking a fireball that would have no trouble decimating the orcs--and Mordred.
The gusts of wind the fireball created were audible even above the crys of the wounded and the banter of steel.
I think "crys" should be "cries," but I could be wrong. Also, I think this sentence could be made more "epic," should you wish it to be. How about:
Flames erupted, stirring gusts of wind that roared above the agonizing cries of the wounded and the banter of steel.
The fire screamed past the pillar, in fury, unable to penetrate the enduring stone workmanship of the dwarves.
Good sentence, but you don't need a comma after "pillar."
And flames licked at him, unable to fully envelope another victim.
Maybe:
Flames licked at him in anger,...
Smoke obstructed his view, and though elven vision was much more keen, they would have trouble navigating this deterrent as well.
That first clause is great, but the rest is a little hard to follow. You seem to like to use "though" a lot. I have that habit too, and one should avoid overuse of words like that. "Although" usually works in it's stead, and is a better word. Make sure to state what you're comparing with "more keen." I'm assuming your audience isn't as up on D&D races as we all are here. I like:
Smoke obstructed his view, and while elven vision was much keener than that of the dwarf, the elves would be hindered by the smoky veil as well.
To his surprise, an elf emerged from the fog with his bow knotched, and his blue eyes peeled.
I'm not sure if "knotched" is the correct word here. I thought it might be "nothced" or "knocked," but I couldn't find an archery-related definition for either in my dictionary. Perhaps using "drawn" in place of "knotched" would avoid any uncertainty. I think "drawn" may be more correct anyway, as it refers more to the bow, while "knotched" refers more to the arrrow.
The blade tore the limb from the core of the body, and blood flowed like a stream from the wound, soaking the elf's tunic, and leather armor.
There is no need to use a simile to describe the blood here; it is quite literally streaming. Also, there shouldn't be a comma after "tunic."
The blade tore the limb from the core of the body, and blood streamed from the wound, soaking the elf's tunic and leather armor.
I saw a lot of words in there you could upgrade if you wanted to. Maybe I'll post some later.
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Skooter327
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I would point out that it is only used at the end of the piece. This is all very similar to what a recent college English teacher stressed. In her class, we were only permitted to use fragments at the end of our conclusion paragraphs, and then only to emphasize something. While that was more of a formal than creative writing class, I think the rules apply here as well. Also, that teacher stressed the use of transisions in writting as well. The only sentences that were allowed without transistions were the first sentence of a paragraph, topic, overview, & thesis sentences, and the last sentene of a conclusion. "And" is not a transition, but there are many transitional words that work better in its place.Originally posted by Nippy
Starting with "and" is (I think!) gramatically wrong, but it is a useful anchor in the beginning of a sentence. Take this I suppose:Irenicus knew he was coming. And he also knew that he would win...
On comma usage:
It seems to me that most writers either don't know how to use commas or they think they do. Their writings then either feature few to no commas, or toomany. Few writers seem to know what is correct, and that makes the arguement often wind down to opinion. Personally, I think that when a comma is missed, it is a glaring omission, but when it doesn't need to be there, its difficult to tell if it should be or not. As a result, I try to ask myself, "if that comma wasn't there, would I have noticed it?" Usually, the answer is no, and that keeps me from overusing commas.
Firstly, I've tried to avoid going really in depth, as I've been told by people before that I really wreck a good thing. That being said...
My stance on Commas is as such. I use them when I would take a breath in talking. This usually keeps me from using excessive commas, but also makes sure that I use them in appropriate places. Sometimes I'll exchange them for other tools, but only if I know for sure the comma should not be used. In the end, it's just preference on where and when. There really is no such thing as too much, or too little use of commas.
As for using 'and' to start a sentecne. Thats a no-no, unless it was preceded by a ';' (can't recall what thats called). Then, and only then, is it alright to start a sentence with 'and', IMHO.
My stance on Commas is as such. I use them when I would take a breath in talking. This usually keeps me from using excessive commas, but also makes sure that I use them in appropriate places. Sometimes I'll exchange them for other tools, but only if I know for sure the comma should not be used. In the end, it's just preference on where and when. There really is no such thing as too much, or too little use of commas.
As for using 'and' to start a sentecne. Thats a no-no, unless it was preceded by a ';' (can't recall what thats called). Then, and only then, is it alright to start a sentence with 'and', IMHO.
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Skooter327
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I probably should be told the same, but I haven't yet, so I contiune on like a raging lunatic!!!Originally posted by Aegis
Firstly, I've tried to avoid going really in depth, as I've been told by people before that I really wreck a good thing.
As for using 'and' to start a sentecne. Thats a no-no, unless it was preceded by a ';' (can't recall what thats called). Then, and only then, is it alright to start a sentence with 'and', IMHO.
Its called a semicolon, and it is used between two independent clauses. Therefore, a semicolon could be used in place of a comma and a conjunction, such as ", and."
Thanks for the huge amounts of help. The story's starting to look a lot more polished thanks to you guys.
@Aegis...I don't mind if you tear it apart
@Skoot....Thanks for the quick tips
I'm hoping to finish part 3 soon, and if it's not up tonight, it will be tomorrow. BTW - I plan for the whole story to be four parts, and maybe an extension later.
@Aegis...I don't mind if you tear it apart
@Skoot....Thanks for the quick tips
I'm hoping to finish part 3 soon, and if it's not up tonight, it will be tomorrow. BTW - I plan for the whole story to be four parts, and maybe an extension later.
"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's if you get back up."
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Maharlika
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Hmmm...
...is Aegis now into Deconstruction?Originally posted by The Z
@Aegis...I don't mind if you tear it apart
"There is no weakness in honest sorrow... only in succumbing to depression over what cannot be changed." --- Alaundo, BG2
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dragon wench
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Re: Hmmm...
Just as long as he does not begin quoting Derrida in which case I shall personally throttle him....
Originally posted by Maharlika
...is Aegis now into Deconstruction?
Just as long as he does not begin quoting Derrida in which case I shall personally throttle him....
Spoiler
testingtest12
Spoiler
testingtest12
Part 3
Using all the guile at his disposal, Mordred crept to the far wall and skulked towards his target. Cautiously, he peered into the mist, catching a glimpse of a sentry leaning idly on his bow. The crumpled barricade stood behind the guard. Curiously enough, no other guards attended to the defense of the decimated landmark. Knowing that the bulk of the force probably remained within the enclosure, Mordred knew that the sentry's death had to be soundless. After securing the war-axe to his back, he keenly drew his throwing axes. He crept onwards, sticking to the shadows and keeping his glinting blades in the gloom. When the elf finally became aware of Mordred's presence, the axe was already carooming towards it's mark. True to the owner's aim, the axe pierced the chest cavity of it's victim. Unfortunately for Mordred, the elf used his remaining ounce of fortitude to gurgle a cry of agony. Shouts arose behind the wall, alerted by the scream.
"If I must destroy an army of dunderheaded elves to slay this wizard, then so be it! Suffer the blows of me axe ye shall!"
The war axe was now nestled in it's master's hands, ready for the coming struggle. A mighty cry erupted from Mordred, and he raged past the blockade and into the heart of the camp. A few doomed elves scurried to impede the wizard slayer, but fell victim to a few wicked slashes that rendered them limbless and lifeless. Mordred hacked away and delivered severe blows to the shocked elves. As the defenders became fully aware of the intruder, Mordred had already broken through the sparse line of defense and was stampeding for a tunnel, whose portal beckoned the dwarf to sharge on.
Arrows screamed past Mordred's ears and richocheted off his near unbreachable armor. The elves were now closing the distance, motivated by the fact that their prey was less swift than they. Yet, Mordred continued his rampage down the tunnel, slaying the few elves who had been stationed in the corridor. Suddenly, Mordred heard a familiar sound. The clicking of mechanical traps.
"Ye shall not beat me with cowardly devices mageling. I swear I shall rend you limb from limb and feed yer carcass to the orcs of Amn!"
Mordred doubled his pace, a testament to dwarven constitution and the devices unleashed a torrent of hazards. He could hear the clatter of arrows slamming into the tunnel's ancient walls, and in a few cases, some of his pursuers. Spikes shot from the floor, forming an obstacle course ahead and behind of Mordred. The dwarf lept from his position over the bed of blades only to see a spear spring from the ground, and scream towards his belly. Mordred twisted, but to no avail. It grazed his gut, piercing the chainmail, and exited through a small chunk of the dwarf's side. He landed on all fours, collapsing for only a brief period before the pain assailed him. Blood spewed through the hole in his armor and the dwarf could feel it dripping and sliding down his leg. Enraged by the wounds, Mordred charged even harder through the traps, oblivious to the elvers who were impaled by the ferocious snares. It was then the dull roar of flame became an audible wave, similar to that of an erupting volcano. Hazarding a glance behind, Mordred cursed at what he beheld. There lay a wall of fire, which tore through the corridor ravaging elves and traps alike. Mordred whirled around and sprinted for the exit. He groped for his remaining strength and moved like no dwarf ever had. Still, the burning heat bit at Mordred, hungry for another victim. The fires now roared alongside him, not yet completely enveloping the dwarf, but nonetheless searing his heels. But the weathered veteran would have nothing of it. Using all the power he could muster, Mordred dove through the gate a nd rolled to the side. As he turned and stood upright, the fire shot through the aperture and swiftly retreated back to the tunnel, as if discouraged that the dwarf had slipped through it's grasp.
"Have at thee, wizard! Ye cannot match the brute force of me and me axe," he cried.
Mordred surveyed the dimly lit area and spotted a conspicuous platform that seemed to hover slightly above the ground. The dwarf pulled himself onto it, and as he did, the torches around the ring flared, illuminating the entire chamber and revealing a score of elves whose arrows were notched and aimed at Mordred, who had clearly soured at the turn of events. A hooded figure seemed to materialize out of the abyss. This enigma approached the dwarf.
"Greetings Mordred Ironfist. I am---"
"Elzix Vanyar," growled Mordred, "Your existence is for naught. Today you die!"
"I had heard you possessed an overt temper, dwarf," grinned the mage, "Guards, leave us until I emerge. If I do not, than you are free to desert the cause."
Vanyar's henchmen scuttled out various portals and tunnels, leaving only him and Mordred upon the platform. The dwarf was visibly confused, believing the wizard insane to attempt to best him alone. It was the mage who spoke next.
"I have been watching you for a time Mordred, and I wish to challenge you on certain---"
"Watching me kill and butcher yer kin? Ye can have a taste of m e axe too if ye want!" Mordred said, lifting his axe for battle.
"You would be a fool to cut me dwon where I stand. There is no possible way that you can escape these reaches without being perferated by my bowmen."
"The day they manage to slay me, is the day I turn to magic. I rue that day and yer type wizard, prepare to meet yer God in the hells!"
Mordred swung his axe with all his might at Vanyar's exposed neck. To his dismay it was only a mirage, and the image faded from sight.
"Where are ye, coward! Me mother has mor courage than you! Reveal yerself!" bellowed Mordred.
"If you listen, all that is concealed will no longer be."
"Speak and be done with it wizard!" yelled Mordred, "I have no tolerance for ninnies such as yerself!"
"Very well. Here is my proposal. I can create a portal that will bring you to the surface world. You will only be able to use it if I am defeated. I will make this convienience available for you so that in the highly unlikely scenario that you best me, you will receive somewhat of a reward. This way, you do not run the risk of dying on the way out, and I get some well needed exercise against idiot adventurers such as yourself. Let me make it clear however, that you will not live to use the portal," Vanyar stated.
"So be it wizard, yer ego is bigger than yer guts. Bring on the magic, and reveal yourself!"
A figure emerged and removed his cloak. Mordred immediately recognized the robes this character had donned, as the ones worn by the wizard who had slain the orcs. But that was not the only detail to be mentioned. For the first time, fear washed over Mordred like snow in Easthaven. No person had ever managed this feat on the grizzled warrior. Nor any creature except this one. A gargantuan undead knight stepped forward and flexed his back, as if awakening from a peaceful night's slumber. His outline radiated a glowing aura, as if a magical energy had rejuvenated strength in the once lifeless body. Before Mordred could react, the knight smote him with the flat of his bastard sword and released a jet of flame from his other hand. The dwarf flew backwards and rammed into the wall, but recovered from his initial shock and dodged the gout of fire with speed that belied his race. Steeling himself for the next assault, Mordred confronted the sneering deadman.
"You ignorant dunce! I am Elzix Vanyar! Undead prince and the epitome of magical power! It is you who will fall and experience firsthand the wrath of an undead warrior/mage! Suffer the consequences of your quest dwarf."
"We shall see ye ugly brute. We shall see."
With the talking all but finished, Mordred leapt to the attack.
Using all the guile at his disposal, Mordred crept to the far wall and skulked towards his target. Cautiously, he peered into the mist, catching a glimpse of a sentry leaning idly on his bow. The crumpled barricade stood behind the guard. Curiously enough, no other guards attended to the defense of the decimated landmark. Knowing that the bulk of the force probably remained within the enclosure, Mordred knew that the sentry's death had to be soundless. After securing the war-axe to his back, he keenly drew his throwing axes. He crept onwards, sticking to the shadows and keeping his glinting blades in the gloom. When the elf finally became aware of Mordred's presence, the axe was already carooming towards it's mark. True to the owner's aim, the axe pierced the chest cavity of it's victim. Unfortunately for Mordred, the elf used his remaining ounce of fortitude to gurgle a cry of agony. Shouts arose behind the wall, alerted by the scream.
"If I must destroy an army of dunderheaded elves to slay this wizard, then so be it! Suffer the blows of me axe ye shall!"
The war axe was now nestled in it's master's hands, ready for the coming struggle. A mighty cry erupted from Mordred, and he raged past the blockade and into the heart of the camp. A few doomed elves scurried to impede the wizard slayer, but fell victim to a few wicked slashes that rendered them limbless and lifeless. Mordred hacked away and delivered severe blows to the shocked elves. As the defenders became fully aware of the intruder, Mordred had already broken through the sparse line of defense and was stampeding for a tunnel, whose portal beckoned the dwarf to sharge on.
Arrows screamed past Mordred's ears and richocheted off his near unbreachable armor. The elves were now closing the distance, motivated by the fact that their prey was less swift than they. Yet, Mordred continued his rampage down the tunnel, slaying the few elves who had been stationed in the corridor. Suddenly, Mordred heard a familiar sound. The clicking of mechanical traps.
"Ye shall not beat me with cowardly devices mageling. I swear I shall rend you limb from limb and feed yer carcass to the orcs of Amn!"
Mordred doubled his pace, a testament to dwarven constitution and the devices unleashed a torrent of hazards. He could hear the clatter of arrows slamming into the tunnel's ancient walls, and in a few cases, some of his pursuers. Spikes shot from the floor, forming an obstacle course ahead and behind of Mordred. The dwarf lept from his position over the bed of blades only to see a spear spring from the ground, and scream towards his belly. Mordred twisted, but to no avail. It grazed his gut, piercing the chainmail, and exited through a small chunk of the dwarf's side. He landed on all fours, collapsing for only a brief period before the pain assailed him. Blood spewed through the hole in his armor and the dwarf could feel it dripping and sliding down his leg. Enraged by the wounds, Mordred charged even harder through the traps, oblivious to the elvers who were impaled by the ferocious snares. It was then the dull roar of flame became an audible wave, similar to that of an erupting volcano. Hazarding a glance behind, Mordred cursed at what he beheld. There lay a wall of fire, which tore through the corridor ravaging elves and traps alike. Mordred whirled around and sprinted for the exit. He groped for his remaining strength and moved like no dwarf ever had. Still, the burning heat bit at Mordred, hungry for another victim. The fires now roared alongside him, not yet completely enveloping the dwarf, but nonetheless searing his heels. But the weathered veteran would have nothing of it. Using all the power he could muster, Mordred dove through the gate a nd rolled to the side. As he turned and stood upright, the fire shot through the aperture and swiftly retreated back to the tunnel, as if discouraged that the dwarf had slipped through it's grasp.
"Have at thee, wizard! Ye cannot match the brute force of me and me axe," he cried.
Mordred surveyed the dimly lit area and spotted a conspicuous platform that seemed to hover slightly above the ground. The dwarf pulled himself onto it, and as he did, the torches around the ring flared, illuminating the entire chamber and revealing a score of elves whose arrows were notched and aimed at Mordred, who had clearly soured at the turn of events. A hooded figure seemed to materialize out of the abyss. This enigma approached the dwarf.
"Greetings Mordred Ironfist. I am---"
"Elzix Vanyar," growled Mordred, "Your existence is for naught. Today you die!"
"I had heard you possessed an overt temper, dwarf," grinned the mage, "Guards, leave us until I emerge. If I do not, than you are free to desert the cause."
Vanyar's henchmen scuttled out various portals and tunnels, leaving only him and Mordred upon the platform. The dwarf was visibly confused, believing the wizard insane to attempt to best him alone. It was the mage who spoke next.
"I have been watching you for a time Mordred, and I wish to challenge you on certain---"
"Watching me kill and butcher yer kin? Ye can have a taste of m e axe too if ye want!" Mordred said, lifting his axe for battle.
"You would be a fool to cut me dwon where I stand. There is no possible way that you can escape these reaches without being perferated by my bowmen."
"The day they manage to slay me, is the day I turn to magic. I rue that day and yer type wizard, prepare to meet yer God in the hells!"
Mordred swung his axe with all his might at Vanyar's exposed neck. To his dismay it was only a mirage, and the image faded from sight.
"Where are ye, coward! Me mother has mor courage than you! Reveal yerself!" bellowed Mordred.
"If you listen, all that is concealed will no longer be."
"Speak and be done with it wizard!" yelled Mordred, "I have no tolerance for ninnies such as yerself!"
"Very well. Here is my proposal. I can create a portal that will bring you to the surface world. You will only be able to use it if I am defeated. I will make this convienience available for you so that in the highly unlikely scenario that you best me, you will receive somewhat of a reward. This way, you do not run the risk of dying on the way out, and I get some well needed exercise against idiot adventurers such as yourself. Let me make it clear however, that you will not live to use the portal," Vanyar stated.
"So be it wizard, yer ego is bigger than yer guts. Bring on the magic, and reveal yourself!"
A figure emerged and removed his cloak. Mordred immediately recognized the robes this character had donned, as the ones worn by the wizard who had slain the orcs. But that was not the only detail to be mentioned. For the first time, fear washed over Mordred like snow in Easthaven. No person had ever managed this feat on the grizzled warrior. Nor any creature except this one. A gargantuan undead knight stepped forward and flexed his back, as if awakening from a peaceful night's slumber. His outline radiated a glowing aura, as if a magical energy had rejuvenated strength in the once lifeless body. Before Mordred could react, the knight smote him with the flat of his bastard sword and released a jet of flame from his other hand. The dwarf flew backwards and rammed into the wall, but recovered from his initial shock and dodged the gout of fire with speed that belied his race. Steeling himself for the next assault, Mordred confronted the sneering deadman.
"You ignorant dunce! I am Elzix Vanyar! Undead prince and the epitome of magical power! It is you who will fall and experience firsthand the wrath of an undead warrior/mage! Suffer the consequences of your quest dwarf."
"We shall see ye ugly brute. We shall see."
With the talking all but finished, Mordred leapt to the attack.
"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's if you get back up."
-
Maharlika
- Posts: 5991
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But then again...
It's kinda scary coz you feel like a guinea pig in some experiment.
@The Z: keep it coming, Birthday Boy.
...it's not Derrida's quotes that you must be wary about... it's the method Mr. Jacques uses in tearing your arguments apart --- THEN analyzing them after.Originally posted by dragon wench
Just as long as he does not begin quoting Derrida in which case I shall personally throttle him....
It's kinda scary coz you feel like a guinea pig in some experiment.
@The Z: keep it coming, Birthday Boy.
"There is no weakness in honest sorrow... only in succumbing to depression over what cannot be changed." --- Alaundo, BG2
Brother Scribe, Keeper of the Holy Scripts of COMM
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