The Dark Side

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Thu Apr 17, 2003 8:51 am

Re: I'm an ewok???!!!

Originally posted by Maharlika
Come to think of it, why does that ewok pic remind me of Mama VooDoo?

*Begins chortling*

If only you knew, "Kemosabe Ewok san"...

VoodooDali is your Aunt.

It is true.

RandomThug · Post by **RandomThug** » Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:36 am

*Makes vvroom sounds while pretending to fly in his tie fighter*

Ptoo Ptoo *shoots at Chanak*

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:41 am

Interview with the Dark Master

The insiduous Dark Master is now permitting this...interview...

...to circulate amongst his cattle and victims.

Chanak: Thank you, Dark Master, for agreeing to answer my questions today. Tell me, why did you choose the Dark Side of the Force over the Light Side?

Dark Master: Is the answer not obvious to you yet, my misguided padawan? Perhaps some time spent being fried by Force Lightning would burn the lesson into your weak, confused mind...hehehehehehehe...

I chose the Dark Side because it was the only logical choice. It is the sum of all things, for all things lead to the Dark Side. Have you ever been afraid, padawan? Have you ever experienced anger? Desired revenge? In short...have you ever been a normal human being, fool? Hahahaha, of course you have, and so has every SYMian worm who makes the mistake of reading this "interview." A pathetic Jedi must reign in his emotions - yes, the very things that make one human - if the fool is to master the weak powers of the Light Side. In essence, a Jedi must become an emotionless robot! For what? To jump high into the air? To levitate rocks? To end up looking like Yoda? Hahahahaha!

Witness the power of the Dark Side! By becoming one with your humanity, you gain power over others, to bend their wills to your own. With a gesture of your hand you can strangle the very life from their bodies...instead of rocks, you can levitate large objects which make hamburger out of whomever you send them slamming into. Ah, yes...and Force Lightning. Care for a taste, padawan?

Chanak: *shifts uncomfortably in seat* Uh, no, Dark Master, your answer is sufficient enough for me, thanks.

This interview will be continued.........

RandomThug · Post by **RandomThug** » Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:57 am

*Stands in front of Chanak's house*

Black pants, Black shirt.
One pair of black socks.
One bed.
Five hundred dollars of personal burial money.

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Thu Apr 17, 2003 3:39 pm

Originally posted by RandomThug
*Stands in front of Chanak's house*

Black pants, Black shirt.
One pair of black socks.
One bed.
Five hundred dollars of personal burial money.

Looks like you have a recruit

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Fri Apr 18, 2003 11:14 am

Interview with the Dark Master, continued...

Dark Master: I decided to give you a taste anyway. How do you feel, hmmm?

Chanak: ...............................

Dark Master: Oh come now, padawan. Surely you feel hatred for me, yes? Perhaps if you were to pull yourself up off of the floor, you might better profit from the lesson which I, the Dark Master, so kindly offer you, hehehehehe.

Chanak: *drags self miserably into chair*

Dark Master: Much better. Now....shall we proceed with this "interview?"

Chanak: Of course, Dark Master. I....ah....um....well, Dark Master, it would appear that the impromptu session of electroshock therapy has rearranged my brain somewhat. I can't seem to remember what I'm doing here in the first place...

Dark Master: Your lack of faith disturbs me.

Chanak: Ah! Oh, yes, now I remember...silly me, ha ha. Ho ho. Yes, well. *rifles furiously through notebook, sweat beading on brow* Ah! Here we go. *ahem*

Dark Master, many wish to know if being inundated with the Dark Side of the Force is dangerous to one's complexion, and hazardous to one's, erm, dental well-being.

Dark Master: Yes, my padawan, it is so. Being a channel of such incredibly delicious power does indeed pose certain hazards to the frail mortal shell which harbors it. Witness myself, Dark Master of the Sith. In the early days of my insiduously evil career, I looked like this:

*note: image has been removed in order to protect the identity of the Dark Master*

Now, after many years - and countless clones - my power is perfected. This is how I appear now, as we speak:

Oil of Olay and Colgate are powerless against the overwhelming might of the Dark Side of the Force! Muwahahahaha!

Chanak: Thank you, Dark Master, for sharing that with us today. *shifts nervously in seat again* Tell us...why does this not happen to the Jedi?

Dark Master: Why must you mention those sniveling disciples of silliness in my presence, worm? I tire of this "interview." Hehehe...however, I will answer your question, for all who commit the tactical error of reading this will doubtlessly be interested in knowing what happens to the mush-minded fools who dabble with the Light Side of the Force. Behold the ultimate destiny of the pathetic Jedi!

Chanak: Damn!

Dark Master: Yes...the Dark Side of the Force looks better all the time, doesn't it...

my padawans?