You asked for it Mr. Sleep...

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 10:42 am

The top 10 things that sound filthy in BG2 but aren't:

10. Edwin's rogue stones have disappeared.
9. I gave Viconia a pearl necklace.
8. Jaheira's weapon "has no effect".
7. Aeirie brags how she is "Faster than Chikitah Fastpaws".
6. You can blow on a Horn of Blasting.
5. Stab Mazzy with your Boneblade (or bash her with your Bone Club).
4. Send Nalia to sleep with your Pixie Prick (then give her Flame Tongue).
3. Smite an enemy with your Rod of Lordly Might.
2. Put your finger up the Ring of the Ram.

And the No.1 thing that sounds filthy in BG2 but isn't…
1. Pull out your moon dog and summon a force to help you.

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Pornbanshee - make your girlfriend scream!

Drakron Du´Dark · Post by **Drakron Du´Dark** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 10:53 am

Gruntboy, KNOW I remenber why I buy the game in the first place.

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"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not became a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss gazes into you..."
Friedrich Nietzsche

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 11:05 am

You forget Minsc, after scoring a critical miss on Bodhi, "I better get a bigger sword."

Your gonna need more than that to impress this undead sexpot.

KN · Post by KN » Wed Jan 17, 2001 11:11 am

In one of Edwins conversations with Minsc about Boo. He says something about having a weasel in his pants.

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"Four thousand throats may be cut in one night, by a running man."
- Klingon Crewman "Day of the Dove"

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 11:15 am

Thankyou Gruntboy, you are the bastion of sickness and depravity

Thanks for that!

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 11:17 am

I couldn't let the challenge lie. You got me

I was especially proud of my Ring of the Ram and Moon Dog lines. Oh if my mother could see me now.

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Pornbanshee - make your girlfriend scream!

Pengman · Post by **Pengman** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 1:39 pm

Hmmm... Makes me wonder why my female NPC's are so crazed to get their hands on the wand of cloudkill...

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Behold The Power of Peng

[This message has been edited by Pengman (edited 01-17-2001).]

Drakron Du´Dark · Post by **Drakron Du´Dark** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 1:44 pm

The wand of missiles have a better shape for that.
not, of course, that I know anything about that

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"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not became a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss gazes into you..."
Friedrich Nietzsche

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 1:48 pm

This thread is a fine example of what Gruntboy stands for: The traditional values of Family, Religion and Homecountry... are DEFINITELY NOT the ones.

Maybe pervertion (mispelled that, huh?) porn and prostitution, would be more likely, huh?

Gruntboy, you are DA MAN!!!

Oink, Oink

(btw MrSleep I think you ain't no Angel either... and people have been calling innocent ME a perv!!! Outrageus!)

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 1:53 pm

And of course the infamous, Lay on Hands power of the Paladins.

Aerie gets wounded and says, "It hurts so much!"
Keldorn: "Come here, let me lay my hands on you."

Drakron Du´Dark · Post by **Drakron Du´Dark** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 1:58 pm

What????
Now that is why his wife is boinking that other guy. He is laying his hands all over the female population of Amn.

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"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not became a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss gazes into you..."
Friedrich Nietzsche

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 2:13 pm

LOL, folks.

Aeirie, show me where the bad paladin touched you.

"I have weasels in my pantaloons"

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 2:19 pm

ROFLMAO

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'Weasel the Most Holy of the Holy Cavaliers'.

Now the hacked up Paladin on the run.

Drakron Du´Dark · Post by **Drakron Du´Dark** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 2:33 pm

use impaler on females NPC (hell, why only viconia or Aerie)

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"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not became a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss gazes into you..."
Friedrich Nietzsche

[This message has been edited by Drakron Du´Dark (edited 01-17-2001).]

Hei_Mao · Post by **Hei_Mao** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 3:32 pm

I'm surprised y'all missed this one. Minsc says it all the time:

"Jump on my sword while you can, Evil!
I will not be as gentle!"

And there you have it.

Omar · Post by **Omar** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 3:39 pm

Edwin:"Somebody,give this monkey a banana!"

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 4:35 pm

And of course the initial dialog with Minsc:

You: "You still have that rodent? How come they didn't take it away from you?"

Minsc: "Boo is very clever and adept at hiding in places where no one will find him" (or something along those lines)

Imoen: Ewww! I don't think I want to know!

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Wed Jan 17, 2001 4:43 pm

Doesn't Lilicar say something off-color to Aerie? I can't remember what it was.

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Thu Jan 18, 2001 4:26 am

Heh heh. Nice ones fellas. Guess it wasn't a definitive top ten. Well done.

As for Minsc at the beginning I believe he says something like "Boo is fast and adept at hiding and there is ever so much of Minsc to search". But that *is* dirty...

Some of you seem a little more visual aswell. Wand of magic missiles? Now I know why Imoen wanted to keep that!

LOL

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Pornbanshee - make your girlfriend scream!