Instant Turnoffs

Vicsun · Post by **Vicsun** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 4:28 am

Originally posted by VonDondu
I'm turned off by guys who are obviously full of themselves...

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Tue Nov 25, 2003 7:18 pm

Originally posted by Aegis
Well, since I'm all for class, anything that is generally a low class thing is a turn off for me. Add to that, smoking, excessive swearing, prejudices and 'valley girl' mentality, and that pretty much sums it for me.

Originally posted by frogus
Well I dig people that smoke and swear excessively.

Sob @Aegis, does that mean you'll dump me now?

Maybe I will find a place in Frogus arms instead, then...

I smoke a bit and I certainly swear excessively. I also occationally like dressing up as a bimbo - I'm sure I look more or less like a hooker in some of those clothes.

Am I a low-class person? I am not sure what criteria make low class in other cultures, but in Europe I am certainly not, rather the opposite since high education and intellecutal and cultural interests are viewed as markers of high social class here.

However, to me swearing and dressing like a hooker is a choice, something I don't want to get rid of since it is something of a statement. I don't think like the concept of language and clothes as markers and barriers of socioeconomic class. I don't like the elitistic notion that certain dressing styles, hairstyles or use of esotheric language should be used in a way that categorise people into class strata. Sure people are different, but for instance, how good you vocabulary is, is correlated to educational level, not to general intelligence or talent. How you dress reflects your sociocultural background, your personal taste and your fincancial situation, not you personality traits. In other words, these factors are IMO not conncted to important charcteristics but rather to superficial, less important things. Here, many people stereotype and automatically associate surburbian slang words, interest in sports and dressing in minimal skimpy clothes with being stupid. So to me, it has a point to break those patterns and demonstrate that looks and language are not necessarily correlated to certain negative traits.

A nice example from earlier this autum when I was out with Astafas and some of our friends:

I was standing at the bar in a very skimpy black top with a silver pattern. Two guys came up to me, and one of them said
"Do you know that top is a statement?"
I said
"No, what do you mean? What statement?"
One the guys rolled his eyes and explained to me that the wave-pattern across my chest was a graphic illustration of a sound wave that you see in a certain Macintosh software. The other guys also rolled his eyes and said mockingly
"But you didn't think of that, of course, you just thought "Oh what a cool top""
(He also made a typical queeny "bimbo gesture"). I said (which was the truth)
"Oh, I had no idea, I'm not into sound technique or computers - I bought the top because the pattern looked like an EEG"
"An EEG?"
"Yes, an electroencephalogram - you know, use use it measure firing from groups of brain cells"
"Yes, yes, I know..." The guys looked dumbfunded.
"So, this silver wave looks like a delta wave, a certain type of wave pattern you get during sleep".
"Uhu....are you a doctor?"
"No, I'm a neuroscientist. I do human brain research."

The looks at their faces is what makes it worth it to look like a hooker. I'm not out to provoke or get attention, but if I get the opportunity I actually think it is a good thing to demonstrate that common prejudices and stereotypes may be wrong.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Tue Nov 25, 2003 8:51 pm

I am not sure what criteria make low class in other cultures, but in Europe I am certainly not, rather the opposite since high education and intellecutal and cultural interests are viewed as markers of high social class here.

I don't like the elitistic notion that certain dressing styles, hairstyles or use of esotheric language should be used in a way that categorise people into class strata. Sure people are different, but for instance, how good you vocabulary is, is correlated to educational level, not to general intelligence or talent. How you dress reflects your sociocultural background, your personal taste and your fincancial situation, not you personality traits. In other words, these factors are IMO not conncted to important charcteristics but rather to superficial, less important things.

Interesting points. I think that this sort of thing varies considerably from country to country, region to region (i.e rural/urban ).

This goes off-topic slightly, but I have some parallel experience to draw on. When our son first began school we lived in a fairly small, conservative city. I would routinely pick him up dressed in a black leather jacket and snug-fitting black jeans. The looks I received from the other parents (the mothers especially) spoke volumes about perceptions and stereotypes.... In some places, even in this age, there seems to be a notion out there that mothers should *look* a particular way. I did not meet the preconceived expectations of that town, and so engendered a certain amount of negative attention. Now we are living in the largest city in the province (one that by some standards would be considered progressive), and when I dress this way at our son's present school people rarely bat an eyelash.

It also seems to me that there is an extremely subtle line that works with some very nuanced indicators. Often, a person's general bearing, stance and expression will betray their educational background and/or socioeconomic class. While I was still a student I would sometimes walk into high-end clothing stores and regardless of how well I was dressed I received some very condescending attitudes. Now I am employed with an investment firm and I noticed something interesting when I was shopping last weekend. I was attired in my usual weekend jeans, bulky sweater, and hiking boots... but the reception I received was quite different. Those same haughty clerks were extremely eager to help me in any way I required.... I can only assume that I was projecting a level of confidence/ a certain demeanor that I previously lacked.

lol! I just went off on a tangent ! Oh well, since I started the thread..

btw, lmao @ CE regarding the "wave" incident

I would have loved to have seen the faces of those guys !

Zelgadis · Post by **Zelgadis** » Tue Nov 25, 2003 10:01 pm

The biggest turn off for me is when a woman holds nothing important, and apparently doesn't care about that. I think its important to at least have something to beleive in, whether it be a religion or a personal code of ethics, or if they don't have one, then to be looking for one. I hate it when people live day by day and give no thought to their lives, and what they want to do with them or what is truly important to them, beyond their own pleasure.

Grendel · Post by **Grendel** » Wed Nov 26, 2003 12:36 pm

Originally posted by C Elegans
Bah, I have a friend who is a lawyer...and before that she was one of Sweden's most internationally famous fashion models. And she's very smart, too.

Astafas is also a lawyer, although a vampiric one...and he is very handsome

LMAO...actually I was refering to the possible negative side of the post that preceeded mine. I have nothing against attractive lawyer/fashion models at all and would be willing to prove that if necessary

Originally posted by C Elegans The looks at their faces is what makes it worth it to look like a hooker. I'm not out to provoke or get attention, but if I get the opportunity I actually think it is a good thing to demonstrate that common prejudices and stereotypes may be wrong.[/b]

Good for you. Along the same lines, I still own my old biker leathers and on occassions when I wear them, I constantly get accosted in grocery stores by little old ladies who need me to reach something off the top shelves for them (generally cat food or cookies). It's not like the leathers make me look friendly, so I can only assume they somehow can see I must be a softy at heart. Go stereotypes, huh?

MisfitVampiress · Post by **MisfitVampiress** » Wed Nov 26, 2003 1:10 pm

Guys that don't like the same music as me suck @$$ ....
well kids thats all I have to say for right now bye !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...wow I'm so out of it right now...Whoah...that rymes.....I'm good at this...

nael · Post by **nael** » Fri Nov 28, 2003 11:46 pm

biggest turn-offs-
a girl who thinks she is daring and kinky, but really has no clue about either.
not using eating utensils properly. I don't know why this one drives me nuts but it does.
girls who whine about their dating history, yet always go out with the same kind of guy. "you keep doing what you've always done, you keep getting what you always got."
lastly, a girl who spits...(you can take this to mean however you want)

ObsidianReturns · Post by **ObsidianReturns** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 9:13 pm

There are certain posts that make me regret this forum is so damn nice. Like rhyming the same word, wow.

but that's enough.

I'll admit cleanly that I'm shallow. I like pretty girls. That's not my only consideration for who I'm attracted to, but it is the first. If I don't immediately think they're attractive, I pass by.

Most importantly though, is individuality. Taking a bit from Zelgadis, I think that is important for a person to believe in SOMETHING strongly. If they don't, what depth is there to them.

Aegis raises a good point, class is nice. I'm quite partial to ballet dancers. I like the way they move.

I like a girl who lives with both eyes open, is willing to learn and explore things, and who'll do something spontaneous.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 9:42 pm

Originally posted by ObsidianReturns
Aegis raises a good point, class is nice. I'm quite partial to ballet dancers. I like the way they move.

ROFL, if you have the same markers as Aegis of what is class and not, you're in trouble I think - I used to do classical dancing for 10 years and most of my teachers swore and smoked like crazy and most of the dancers in general smoked as well. Since you're not allowed to eat very much, many dancers start smoking as a means to decrease the cravings for food. Anorexia is a rule rather than an exception and among professionals, use of central stimulantia is very common, for the same reasons as it is very common among fashion modes: keeps you slim, decrease hunger and keeps you alert when you have to work day and night.
It's a wonderful classy world

Ode to a Grasshopper · Tue Dec 02, 2003 9:53 am

Originally posted by Tamerlane
Prior to meeting the love of my life (who is simply perfect in every way ). There used to be a few things that got under my skin...

Smokers, I can't stand them. The smell is unbearable and my friends know very well not to smoke around me. Can't stand the smell of nicotine, its a huge turnoff. I also don't have many male smoker friends and those who do smoke are wise enough to go outside or stay well away from me whilst smoking.

"Prior to..."? Go Tam!

Not a smoking fan? You'd hate the woman I'm after asking out soon, then. Admittedly I don't like the habit either, having had a grandfather die of lung cancer as a young child -not a pretty thing for a five-year-old to see- but she's perfect enough besides that I can overlook it. It's more the health angle that bothers me, which is a pity since a lot of my friends smoke the rotten cancer-sticks, but them's the breaks.

The biggest turn-off for me is when a woman is boring. I cannot stand boring people in general, and to get involved with one would drive me insane.

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 2:55 am

Originally posted by das_hermit
"Prior to..."? Go Tam!

LOL, Hey I'm a good boy

I'm just not afraid to speak my mind

ObsidianReturns · Post by **ObsidianReturns** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 9:24 pm

I think that I'm always in trouble with the fairer sex.

CE, as always, raises a valid point. Part of my attaction to dancers, that I've met at least, is that they are healthy and have good muscle definition. Too many people in general have poor fitness, as seen in that fact that the majority of my MILITARY unit cannot run 5 k. Admittedly they are reserve medics, but still.

To save myself here, Class can't really be described over the internet, especially to people who are determined to resist any definition. Class is something people have or not. I think Aegis and I are using examples from people we know who have class.

Class is not universal, and can't be assigned to one group of people or a set of characteristics. It simply is, people are classy or they aren't.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 10:02 pm

Originally posted by ObsidianReturns
To save myself here, Class can't really be described over the internet, especially to people who are determined to resist any definition. Class is something people have or not. I think Aegis and I are using examples from people we know who have class.

Well said, and that does indeed go for me, as well.

My girlfriend (wonderful girl named Victoria. She's Russian. I love it!) I happen to think is really classy. A bit high maintenance, but I wouldn't trade that for anything. To me, at the current time, she is my idea of classy. Doesn't swear excessively, doesn't smoke, has strong views and opinions, is well thought out and disciplined, and so forth.

@CE: Keep in mind that for me to think someone classy, that person is not required to meet every standard, thats just unfair, and would set my standards far too high. I really just look for a positive ratio of those standards.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 9:04 pm

Class, trash,whatever....I just look for a pulse

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 9:06 pm

Originally posted by Bloodstalker
Class, trash,whatever....I just look for a pulse

LMAO!

You evidently don't believe in limiting your options do you?

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 9:10 pm

No, my options limit me too much already

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 9:12 pm

Those options being restricted to annual family reunions, right?

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 9:18 pm

No comment

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 10:39 pm

Originally posted by Bloodstalker
Class, trash,whatever....I just look for a pulse

Gee, would you like them mobile, or is that optional?

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 11:26 pm

Biggest turn off? nasty teeth