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My french essay

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Craig
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My french essay

Post by Craig »

My french essay, help needed.

As part of my GCSE french course I write essays in french, my teacher went over this one, and told me what to change but I can't remember it all, are there any native french speakers who could point out my mistakes?

Je suis allé à la Jard-sur-mer, à Rochelle dans l’est de la France, cet an. Comme toujours j’ai voyagé avec ma famille; mes parents, qui ont payé pour la vacance, aussi mon frère et mes deux sœurs m’ont accompagné. Nous sommes restés dans un camping, pendant une quinzaine, je n’ai pas la moindre idée le nom du camping. Nous avons traversé la manche en bateau. Car c’était un voyage lent, j’ai pris le dîner. Quand j’ai vu le repas j’ai cru que c’allait va goûter de carton. À mon avis c’était savoureux. La mer n’était pas très agitée, mais c’était calme. Bientôt nous sommes arrivé à Guernesey, je suis allé au pont pour voir le port. En peu de temps nous sommes arrivés en France.

Quand nous sommes arrives au terrain du camping, c’était largement après minuit nous avons réveillé le rep pour nous ouvrir la porte. Quand nous avons exploré le terrain du camping, nous avons découvert il n’y avait personne. Heureusement après quelques jours, mon frère et moi ont fait la connaissance d’Adel. Les distractions n’étaient pas pour les personnes au moins de 40 ans. Juste une petit piscine et peu de plage; seulement un était accueillant. Dans la ville il y avait des personnes qui vendaient des souvenir suspect. Gracé à la pere, nous avons aussi apporté nos bicyclette pour qui nous avons peut faire de vélo. Nous avons allés aussi à la St jean-de-mont avec le famille d’Adel.

Pendant le vacances nous avons visités beaucoup de restaurant a port de pleasants, dans un restaurant, j’ai mangé steak autruche, j’ai pense que c’était pas mal, mais ce n’était pas si délicieux comme kangourou. Aussi pendant la vacance il y avait un vague de chaleur, il faisait 37°c, et je me suis brûlé le premier jour. A la fin des vacances il faisait plus mauvais et j’avais un coup de soleil, j’était peu clair et fatigant.

Á la voyagé retour, nous resté à Mont St Michelle, un grande château avec beaucoup de magasins, et beaucoup du monde.

La vacance valaient la peine, mais je n’ai pas aimé ces vacances autant que les vacances de l’année dernière, ce n’était pas si intéressant, je ne pense pas que il y avait assez d’activités. L’été prochain au lieu de rentrer à la Rochelle, nous irons á St jean-de-mont, comme d’habitude.
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Post by der Moench »

Ahg! That language! Make it stop! :mad: :p

To counter-act the evil effects, I shall now treat you to a bit of Heine. :eek: :)

Dicht hinter Hagen ward es Nacht
Und ich fuehlte in den Gendaermen
Ein seltsames Froesteln. Ich konnte mich ernst
Zu Unna, im Wirsthaus erwaermen.

Ein huebsches Maedchen fand ich dort,
Die schenkte mir freundlich den Punsch ein;
Wie gelbe Seide das Lockenhaar,
Die Augen sanft wie Mondschein.

Den lispelnd westfaelischen Akzent
Vernahm ich mit Wollust wieder.
Viel suesse Erinnerung dampfte der Punsch,
Ich dachte der lieben Brueder,

Der lieben Westfalen, womit ich so oft
In Goettingen getrunken,
Bis wir geruehrt einander ans Herz
Und unter die Tische gesunken! :D

Ich habe sie immer so liebt gehabt,
Die lieben, guten Westfalen
Ein Volk so fest, so sicher, so treu,
Ganz ohne Gliessen und Prahlen.

Wie standen sie praechtig auf der Mensur
Mit ihren Loewenherzen!
Es fielen so grade, so ehrlich gemeint,
Die Quarten und die Terzen.

Sie fechten gut, sie trinken gut, :cool:
Und wenn sie denn Hand dir reichen
Zum Freundenschaftsbuendnis, dann weinen sie,
Sind sentimentale Eichen. :)

Der Himmel erhalte dich, wackres Volk,
Er segne deine Saaten,
Bewahre dich vor Krieg un Ruhm,
Vor Helden und Heldenstaten.

Er schenke deinen Soehnen stets
Ein sehr gelindes Examen,
Und deine Toechter bringe er huebsch
Unter die Haube - Amen! ;)


Peace. :cool:
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Post by Craig »

Very funny, but seriously; I need help.
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Post by der Moench »

Oh, well, seriously ... I don't speak French. Sorry. But I'm sure someone smart will be along soon to help you out. :)

Peace. :cool:
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Post by Craig »

Cool
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Post by Curdis »

Not necessarily helping

craig,

I can't help you directly but there are numerous sites on the net that can. Babelfish is a translator which could at least point out obvious errors. If your waiting around here you might as well try something to fill in the time. - Curdis !
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Post by Craig »

I'd like to be able to, but those translators can't reason. I 'google translated' the page to work out what der Moench said, and it gave me my french but with errors where I knew (100%) that I was right.

Oh It can't translate any of what you said, der moench.

der Moench 1 google 0.
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Post by der Moench »

Originally posted by craig
Oh It can't translate any of what you said, der moench.

der Moench 1 google 0.


Woohoo! :D But yeah, those web-based translations are pretty bad. It would really have trouble with mine, as it is a poem and all.

But don't we have any French-speaking people here? :eek: I thought we did. :confused: DW and Aegis are from Canada - don't they have to learn that language up there? Any Belgians? Anyone - anyone? Buehler - Buehler?
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Post by Aegis »

Well, I can pin point your first problem with the essay. It's written in another freakin' language! I mean, what the hell is that? Some sort of funny talk? You had to have made that up! :p

In all seriousness, I'd like to help you, but my French is in bad need of repair, having not studied for some time :(
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Post by Mysteria »

Re: My french essay, help needed.

I'm no native French speaker either, but I'm good at it. (12 years of studies) So, here's my version of it, enjoy :) :
Je suis allé à la Jard-sur-mer, à Rochelle, dans l’est de la France, cette année. Comme toujours j’ai voyagé avec ma famille; mes parents, qui ont payé pour les vacances, aussi mon frère et mes deux sœurs m’ont accompagné. Nous sommes restés dans un camping pendant une quinzaine, je n’ai pas la moindre idée du nom du camping. Nous avons traversé la manche en bateau. Parce que c’était un voyage lent, j’ai pris le dîner. Quand j’ai vu le repas, j’ai cru que ça allait goûter de carton. À mon avis c’était savoureux. La mer n’était pas très agitée, c’était calme. Bientôt nous sommes arrivés à Guernesey, je suis allé sur le pont pour voir le port. En peu de temps nous sommes arrivés en France.

Quand nous sommes arrivés au terrain du camping, il était largement après minuit et nous avons réveillé le rep [no idea what you mean by rep] pour nous ouvrir la porte. Quand nous avons exploré le terrain du camping, nous avons découvert qu'il n’y avait personne. Heureusement après quelques jours, mon frère et moi ont fait la connaissance d’Adel [French girl? Maybe rather Adèle?]. Les distractions n’étaient pas pour les personnes de moins de 40 ans. Juste une petit piscine et un peu de plage; seulement [This doesn't make sense:] "un était accueillant". Dans la ville il y avait des personnes qui vendaient des souvenir suspects. Grâce à mon père, nous avons aussi apporté nos bicyclettes et qui nous avons pu faire du vélo. Nous sommes aussi allés à la St Jean-de-Mont avec le famille d’Adel.

Pendant le vacances nous avons visité beaucoup de restaurants à Port de Pleasants [maybe plaisance?], dans un restaurant, j’ai mangé un steak d'autruche, j’ai pense que ce n'était pas mal, mais ce n’était pas si délicieux comme du kangourou. Aussi pendant les vacances il y avait une vague de chaleur, il faisait 37°C et je me suis brûlé le premier jour. A la fin des vacances il faisait plus mauvais et j’avais un coup de soleil, j’était [doesn't exist in that sense:] "peu clair" et fatigué.

Au voyage de retour, nous sommes restés au Mont St Michel, un grande château avec beaucoup de magasins, et beaucoup de monde.

Les vacances valaient la peine, mais je n’ai pas aimé ces vacances autant que les vacances de l’année dernière, ce n’était pas si intéressant, je pense qu'il n'y avait pas assez d’activités. L’été prochain, au lieu de retourner à la Rochelle, nous irons à St Jean-de-Mont, comme d’habitude.
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Post by Mysteria »

Hm, nice exercice, makes me want more ... I think I'm going to try der Moench's. :D
Originally posted by der Moench

Dicht hinter Hagen ward es Nacht
Und ich fuehlte in den Gendaermen
Ein seltsames Froesteln. Ich konnte mich erst
Zu Unna, im Wirsthaus erwaermen.

Soon after Hagen it became night
and I felt in my guts
a strange chill. I could only warm myself
in the tavern in Unna.

Ein huebsches Maedchen fand ich dort,
Die schenkte mir freundlich den Punsch ein;
Wie gelbe Seide das Lockenhaar,
Die Augen sanft wie Mondschein.

I found there a beautiful girl
She friendly poured me punch
The curled hair like yellow silk
Eyes soft like moonshine

Den lispelnd westfaelischen Akzent
Vernahm ich mit Wollust wieder.
Viel suesse Erinnerung dampfte der Punsch,
Ich dachte der lieben Brueder,

The lisping "westfälischen" accent
I heard with pleasure
The punch smoked many a sweet remembrance
I thought about the dear brother

Der lieben Westfalen, womit ich so oft
In Goettingen getrunken,
Bis wir geruehrt einander ans Herz
Und unter die Tische gesunken! :D

I thought about the dear "Westfalen", with whom I often drank
in "Goettingen"
Until we moved each other's hearts
And sank under the tables.

Ich habe sie immer so liebt gehabt,
Die lieben, guten Westfalen
Ein Volk so fest, so sicher, so treu,
Ganz ohne Gleissen und Prahlen.

I always loved them,
Dear, good "Westfakeb"
A people so firm, so sure, so hourable
Without glammer and boasting

Wie standen sie praechtig auf der Mensur
Mit ihren Loewenherzen!
Es fielen so grade, so ehrlich gemeint,
Die Quarten und die Terzen.

How stood they proud on the "Mensur"
With their lion's heart!
So straight, so truthfully meant fell
the quarts and tertzes

Sie fechten gut, sie trinken gut, :cool:
Und wenn sie denn Hand dir reichen
Zum Freundenschaftsbuendnis, dann weinen sie,
Sind sentimentale Eichen. :)

They fight well, they drink well
And when they reach you their hand
in friendship, then they cry,
are sentimental oaks.

Der Himmel erhalte dich, wackres Volk,
Er segne deine Saaten,
Bewahre dich vor Krieg un Ruhm,
Vor Helden und Heldenstaten.

May the heavens protect you, "wackres" people
He should holy your seeds
Protect you from war and fame,
From heroes and heroic deeds.

Er schenke deinen Soehnen stets
Ein sehr gelindes Examen,
Und deine Toechter bringe er huebsch
Unter die Haube - Amen! ;)

May he always gift your sons
a very mild exam,
And May he bring your daughters a pretty
Marriage - Amen!


Hm ... poetry is more difficult. :D
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Post by Sojourner »

Oh no! Poetry! Make it stop! :D
Originally posted by der Moench
Viel suesse Erinnerung dampfte der Punsch,
Ich dachte der lieben Brueder,


The Punch steamed many a sweet memory
I thought of my dear brother

It's common here to say "the" intead of "my" with family members. ;)

@craig - Sorry, right now your French is superior to mine - it's been too long.
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What happened here was the gradual habituation of the people, ... to receiving decisions deliberated in secret; to believing that the situation was so complicated that the government had to act on information which the people could not understand, or so dangerous that, even if he people could understand it, it could not be released because of national security.
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Post by Mysteria »

*slaps head* Steamed! Of course. Thanks Sojourner. :)
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Post by Craig »

Re: Re: My french essay, help needed.
Originally posted by Mysteria
I'm no native French speaker either, but I'm good at it. (12 years of studies) So, here's my version of it, enjoy :) :


I've already handed in the essay, but thank you. Adel was an english gal, "Only one was hospitable" probably plaisance "I was confused and tired"

What does this: qu'il n'y avait mean? (there wasn't?)
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Post by Georgi »

Re: Re: Re: My french essay, help needed.
Originally posted by craig
What does this: qu'il n'y avait mean? (there wasn't?)


If there wasn't...

IIRC. It's been a while!! :D
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Post by Mini Me »

ive got a feeling that qu'il n'y avait should have a 'pas' at the end and means 'who was not', but i am at the same level french as you i think so I cant be certain
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Post by der Moench »

God save Heine!

Not bad, Mysteria! :) The translation that I have handy says the following:

Just after Hagen, night came down
and I felt in my intestines
a creeping cold. I couldn't get warm
till Unna, in one of its best inns.

I found a pretty maiden there,
here eyes were bright as stars; full
lovely the silken gold of her hair;
she also kept my glass full.

As I heard that attractive Westphalian lisp,
I thought with pleasure of others.
The fumes of the punch brought back old times,
I thought of my dear, dear brothers,

Westphalians all - how often we'd drink
as much as we were able,
till we sank in each other's loving embrace
and slowly under the table.

I liked them so much in my Goettingen days,
those dear good lads of Westphalia.
They made no show, they put on no airs,
they were fellows who'd never fail you.

They were stalwarts at duelling, every one
in his breast a lion's heart carried.
They were all upstanding, sporting chaps,
as they honestly thrust and parried.

Their fencing and drinking is fine and fair,
and their friendship has the same quality:
when they give you their hand on it, they weep,
hearts of oak, with some sentimentality.

May heaven guard you, doughty race,
and keep your crops richly bearing;
may it preserve you from wars and fame
and heroes and deeds of daring.

God grant your sons may pass their exams
without a fail or falter,
and may He bring your daughters all
safe and well-matched to the altar.


The translator takes a few liberties from the literal - mostly to try to preserve some of the same rhyme and meter - but I think it is an OK approximation. But Heinrich Heine (like all poets and authors, I suppose) is better read in his native German.

Peace. :cool:
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Post by Sojourner »

I agree with that.
There's nothing a little poison couldn't cure...

What happened here was the gradual habituation of the people, ... to receiving decisions deliberated in secret; to believing that the situation was so complicated that the government had to act on information which the people could not understand, or so dangerous that, even if he people could understand it, it could not be released because of national security.
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Post by Mysteria »

je pense qu'il n'y avait pas assez d’activités
I think that there were not enough activities
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Post by Georgi »

Originally posted by Mini Me
ive got a feeling that qu'il n'y avait should have a 'pas' at the end and means 'who was not', but i am at the same level french as you i think so I cant be certain
It depends on the context, really. It doesn't have to be qu'il n'y avait pas, could be something like qu'il n y avait plus (if there was no more) or qu'il n'y avait que (if there was only)... This is if this was the first part of a question. Mysteria is right if it's used as her example, in which case que means that, not if.
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