Tales From the Crab Trap

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 11:46 am

Something occurred to me the other night as I was bargaining with the mud crab. Morrowind, despite being a fantasy, has a lot of realism to it. However, one has to wonder how a mud crab would come have such wealth. He's obviously always there, and what on earth does he do with all of that stuff and his money?

So I came up with a theory, and thought it might be fun for everyone to post their ideas

I figure that at one point in Vardenfell's past there was an extraordinarily wealthy, greedy and acquisitive lord with a penchant for exploring ruins since they engender vast riches. On one occasion he decided to visit Ald Sotha and Mzahnch....

While at the latter he found... you guessed it.. a curious bottle...

Naturally, he opened it.... and out popped the proverbial genie

As is customary, the genie (one of a particularly sadistic disposition) granted him three wishes, and they were:

1. immortality
2. endlessly regenerating wealth
3. a private home on an island with its own beach

Now the lord thought hard, since he really wanted them all. Having been accustomed to a life of privilage he told the genie he wished for all of the above. The genie, of course, refused.
At this point, the lord (who had a long history of temper tantrums upon not getting his own way) threw up his heels and began pounding his fists on the cavern floor.

The genie, thoroughly unimpressed, finally said, "Okay, I'll grant you all of those choices."

And poof! He polymorphed the lord into a mudcrab....

Nonetheless, the genie was not completely heartless and every so often he visited the former lord. Knowing that the poor man was likely in need of entertainment the genie quietly spread rumours about Vardenfell about the fabulously wealthy crab.. so that weighted adventurers and fortune seekers would journey from far and wide to sell their goods to him.. and then *poof* they would disappear in a way that the 'lord' never could. Yet.. the genie did provide some escape by frequently supplying the crab with copious quantities of brandy....

And so it has been from setting sun to setting sun. Seasons come and seasons go, but the mudcrab lord remains, always there to barter with money grubbing fortune seekers on their way to fame.

Fer'or · Post by **Fer'or** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 12:09 pm

That's a great story

*applauds*

Twoback23 · Post by **Twoback23** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 12:10 pm

Dude, that is such an awesome theory haha, there is no way i can think of one better than that

Helinia · Post by **Helinia** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 3:21 pm

And where is this lord mudcrab located??????

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 6:45 pm

Originally posted by Helinia
And where is this lord mudcrab located??????

Go to the Ald Sotha ruins (it is on your paper map, slightly northeast of Vivec, south of Suran)
From there, fly, swim or water walk to the island of Mzahnch which is just east of Ald Sotha. The island where the mud crab is situated is on the southeast heel of Mzahnch. You can just wade over to his beach.

Indianasmith · Post by **Indianasmith** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:11 pm

I've heard where he is . . .

But I've never dealt with him, because I've always been able to get the money I needed at the Bazaar in Mournhold - the Armorer has 10 grand, and the merchant across the square from her has 8 grand, and between the two of them (with lots of waiting 24 hours for their money to regenerate) I've managed to make myself a millionaire. How much does the old mudcrab pack, anyway, and does he have a name?

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:51 pm

The mudcrab doesn't have a name, but he has 10 K that regenerates every 24 hours. The reason he is good to barter with is that he will *always* give you full value for items provided that they are completely repaired.
The drawback is that he can be difficult to find, and he is miles away from everywhere. I have used my 'Mark' spell for the spot and I teleport out using Almsivi or Divine Intervention.

It's probably easier to just do your bartering in Mournhold, but the crab simply cracks me up (his dialogue is quite funny)

Digitalchimp · Post by **Digitalchimp** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 5:19 am

BOOZE

Brandy! that explains it. when you talk to him he says he's "so dry", obviously this is due to the lack of booze. He's an alchoholic!

genius, and sheer brilliance.

BTW, if he has no name why dont we name him? suggestions in a stamped addressed envolope to...

Sir chris · Post by **Sir chris** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 6:56 pm

ummm dragon wench nice story.... I laughed I cried I fell over in pain of laughter......

and thought if hes immortal how come you can kill him?

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 7:49 pm

Meaning, he can't really die of natural causes, sort of like elves

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 7:59 pm

Re: BOOZE

Originally posted by Digitalchimp
BTW, if he has no name why dont we name him? suggestions in a stamped addressed envolope to...

lol! I guess we could just make suggestions here

How about Lord Bart Brandybutt ?

Digitalchimp · Post by **Digitalchimp** » Wed Mar 24, 2004 4:33 am

lol

I think the name "lawrence" would suit him, as its the type of name a drunkard noble would have, im liking the "brandybutt" though. Good call. "Lawrence Brandybutt"?

Hoebie · Post by **Hoebie** » Wed Mar 24, 2004 3:36 pm

The booz, the messed up talking.... suddenly it all makes sense.

Nice story dude. but how do we explain the creeper? Why isn't he hostile, why is he in caldera living with a bunch of orc's and why would he want all of our stuff except lights?
"Genie strikes again!"

Sir chris · Post by **Sir chris** » Wed Mar 24, 2004 3:41 pm

simple hes an X mages guild guildmaster he accidentaly trapped himself in scamp body with a soul trap spell gone wrong.

and hes living with orcs bescause there the only race that actualy like him pluse he suplies them with booze for bunking.....

******************EDIT******************************
I just came up with a diffrent theory......

there was a kid who realy liked his stufed scamp doll so he got a scamp skin costume but it was enchanted with a summon scamp on user but it really meant summon scamp and when he used it he turned himself into a scamp.....

these r just a few of the many things flowting around in my head........

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Mar 24, 2004 6:51 pm

lol!

Or maybe the Creeper is somehow associated with one of the criminal syndicates and plays the role of a fence or money launderer

I like the name Lord Lawrence Brandybutt, LMAO!

I can see it now, the grand lord, half-soused, strolling about his lawns in mid-afternoon dressed in a silk bathrobe and cravatte. He'd be plotting his next 'archeological' expedition and every so often he'd ring for Jeeves, the butler, demanding yet another snifter of brandy!

Sir chris · Post by **Sir chris** » Wed Mar 24, 2004 6:56 pm

dont forget the many slaves he must have.....

lol i can just picture it now a dark elf in a tux......

and a plature of ancient dagoth brandy in one hand and a plature of cheese on crackers with caviar in the middle..... lol

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Mar 24, 2004 6:57 pm

*snicker*

Indeed!