The Genealogy of SYM

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Sun Jun 27, 2004 11:29 pm

It is, for the most part, an unknown history that has lead up to the present-day SYM. We have some records dating back to some of the earliest years of the board, but most documentations were lost to the elements: forum migrations, periodic thread deleting, and general neglect of important documents to the point where the information they once had was unusable. However, pooling most remaining resources I believe I have come up with a basic "family tree" to our beloved forum with documentations of most members and their points of origins. This thread is not meant to shock or stun, but merely to inform. I hope that it sheds light on a dark and awry history.

In The Beginning there was nothing but Satan. Buck Satan, that is. SYM owes its existance to this game deviant as the cycle of life began with him, just as we know it will one day end with him, then restart once again.

Buck Created the First Generation on a whim over the span of many years, using his ethreal powers to divide his attributes and create a Council of sorts. Buck's omnipotent insight resulted in the first, Fable, who is thought to be the oldest of the lot. Fable was eventually worshipped by the Babylonians before the mess with the tower. How many years after that when Buck created the next three is unknown, but from his charisma came Georgi, from his wisdom came Minerva, and his authoritive attitude came Mr Sleep. Just some of the remaining members of the First Generation, the intellectual T'Lainya, the cunning Stilgar, the gentlemanly Kid####, and the crafty Weasel (likely the youngest) could have been born at any time after this as records that date back that far have mostly been lost. It is also believed that Xandax is also part of the first generation, but it's unclear what role he played as the spawn of Buck. He could have been derived from strength, guidance, or any number of other attributes.

The Void Was Filled after GameBanshee's massive communication center, "Goody", overloaded the world. As Buck worked to find a way to keep heavy traffic from destroying his realm again swarms of emerging SYM members were left alone in the dark. Many poor souls were lost in the diseaster. To keep the tragedy from happening again, Buck created what we now know as Speak Your Mind, or SYM.

From Buck's Council emerged the population of SYM. The largest branch leading from the first generation is the family of Weasel. The deviant, result of Satans most purely evil tendancies, believed in spawning out of wedlock, incest, good food, loud music, and generally had more fun than his 'siblings'. Weasel used his deviant power to spawn COMM, an army that he would lead to serve him at every turn. The first COMMS were Weasel's harem (for lack of a better word), and most members of today's COMM came from Weasel's reckless antics with his own lackeys. The first COMMs were Omar, KidD, Thorin Oaskensfield, and Fas. By Omar Weasel had three sons: Craig, Der Moench, and Rob-hin. Fas bore Weasel a son named Tybaltus, and Thorin bore Weasel two more sons - Chanak and Vicsun.
With his brother KidD Weasel had a son named Robin.
Besides the creation of COMM Weasel had other descendants. It is believed that Weasel and Minerva, goddess of wisdom, bore Weasel's only daughter, Aqua-chan (sometimes referred to as the goddess of sex). In later years Weasel and Aqua-chan had a son, The (Hormonal) Z. Records also indicate that Aegis is also a spawn of Weasel, but there is no telling of who is the mother (or father). It's quite possible that Random Thug is the result of Weasel courting one of his sons (or himself), but again there is no credible evidence.
Besides of his own immediate bloodline Weasel had many other children with others, including Vehemence, Kameleon, Robnark, and Taco.

T'Lainya and Georgi Combined Energies to form a new clan, aptly called the Dark Flames after a phrase in the dictation of an idol not of Buck Satan's creation named Anomen. In light of this new community came the women Dragon Wench, Yshania, Vivien, and Jennabard. After much deliberation these Amazons decided servants would be in order, and so Gwalchmai, Bloodstalker, Harry, Ned Flanders, Thantor and Nippy came to be. Through the women's abilities Mysteria was born, though to uncertain parents.
Aqua-chan merged with this group, and an outsider named Scayde was also adopted into the clan. Chanak also mingled with this group but did not entirely abandom COMM.

Fas built a one-man society against the Dark Flames but is mostly ignored.

The History of SLURR Was Disputed when two of the founding members - Bloodstalker and Ned Flanders - told different stories of it's creation. Bloodstalker claims his private tavern was overrun by outside brigands. Upon speaking the term SLURR he accidently created a new clan. BS used this new free will to announce himself as the Lord of Lurkers, then became a hermit for a period of about two days. Ned Flanders says the SLURR was created using conflicting aspects of COMM and Spam and was founded by he, Bloodstalker, and McBane. (Ned has submitted documentation that prooves this theory correct.) Meanwhile, the next SLURRs in line - three rough men named Beldin, Ode to a Grasshopper, and Eerhardt - began taking control of their own new clan and becan terrorizing taverns, bars, and coffee shops alike with thier travelling truck known as the Rolling Thunder.
Beldin and Eerhardt spawned Brink, who is also a loyal SLURRite.

As This Chaos Unfolded Fable Knew He Had to Counter the Madness with sanity. To keep the boards balanced Fable summoned three similar entities that displayed his best attributes. They were called C Elegans, High Lord Dave, and Dottie. C Elegans had a son named Maharlika, a talented scribe and record keeper, but it's uncertain if he's a genetic son or just a spawn of her genious science.
Maharlika merged with COMM.

Bloodstalker Created Be, a cult of self-righteous Buddha-like preachings that emphasized the importance of one's Be. Maharlika keeps the Holy Books of Be. It's uncertain how many members of Be there are exactly.

Several Wars Raged On during the volution of the boards. Rivalries and community battles began taking place, but the most famous was the battles of Weasel and Waverly. Also, byproduct of these clashes of deviant energy resulted in the births of Gruntboy, Flagg and the Pantless Marines.

There are many mysteries to SYM, partially because people who know these things for sure come and go, taking their knowledge with them forever. Undoubtedly, there are many mistakes and errors made, and some family trees just can't be traced - Ubik? Waverly? Were they part of the First Generation, or sons of Weasel? And just who WAS AragornReturns' parents, anyway?! - but hopefully with the helpful imput of members like you we can now find out exactly how the SYM bloodline goes.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Sun Jun 27, 2004 11:38 pm

*Sigh* with all history, there are inaccuracies, but then, we're not all Mormans

Omissions, and such. Hmm, maybe some revisionist history is in hand...

On a side note, I'm first Gen

And I think Georgi and I should recant the tale that was Vehemence, and the trio of Spam-ites we were

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 1:47 am

[QUOTE=Aegis]*Sigh* with all history, there are inaccuracies, but then, we're not all Mormans

Omissions, and such. Hmm, maybe some revisionist history is in hand...

On a side note, I'm first Gen

And I think Georgi and I should recant the tale that was Vehemence, and the trio of Spam-ites we were

[/QUOTE]

Yeah - there are still many of us "first generation" people still left.
I think there are very few "active" (Kid### is one) with an earlier registration date then mine

And still I'm left out .... *sobbing*. okay, so I wasn't one of the revolting instigaters that spammed up Goddy in BG2, causing Buck to go into overload and in a weak moment create SYM, but I was still here

Vicsun · Post by **Vicsun** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 4:07 am

Ahh... I love reminiscing. I remember the days before SYM came into being. During those ages of darkness the forums of The Shadows of Amn were our spamming grounds. I suggested to Buck a new forum was created in order to reduce the spam on the boards of Baldur; you see it was from my days of yore that I was fighting spam. Of course he ignored me and probably mused on banning me. Some time after, much to the surprise of everyone I'm sure, the ground started to shake and began to crack. Soon the dry land had ripped and a hole opened. This hole bore the name of SYM and it attracted us through its dark powers. Soon all of the sinners, evildoers and the occasional farm animal found their way into the depths of the dark chamber. My manners prohibit me from telling of the horrors that came to pass in SYM's tunnels, and I'm certain the alcohol consumed to block the nightmares has suppressed those memories that my brain has left uncensored...

Minerva · Post by **Minerva** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 6:20 am

@AC: It's nicely done. I like to add a few things:

-Weasel tried to break into forum with his best friend moderator, Flagg, who eventually ran away with my good friend, Chrissy, to avoid wrath of Buck.

-The Time of Alter-Egos (okay, if you believe we are all Weasels, it still is The Time of Alter-Egos). It started when Mr Sleep found he actually had Mrs.

-Weasel vs Waverly. You can't talk about the SYM without the very low level rivalry between the two for months after months.

-Baaaasssssieee

It's just your description makes Weasel look like a figure of nice, good, and well behaved role model of all living SYM members. It's our duty to let people know the truth of the SYM without avoiding shameful part of our history, because we all love this great world of spam.

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 6:37 am

Also remember, COMM didn't emerge from its shadowry pit of doom, after a lot of turmoil in SYM.
COMM was far from the first "faction" in SYM

"The Spammers" (also started by Weasel) was a factor before COMM for sure. And lurkers have always been around.

(luckily - I've never dabbled with the dark forces myself, so I've always been "outsider"...... proberly why nobody remembers me at all

)

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 7:46 am

I must meet this wonderful person Weasel oneday.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 8:11 am

Xandax wrote:Also remember, COMM didn't emerge from its shadowry pit of doom, after a lot of turmoil in SYM.
COMM was far from the first "faction" in SYM
"The Spammers" (also started by Weasel) was a factor before COMM for sure. And lurkers have always been around.

That may be true, X-man...
...however, I believe that COMM was a much improved version.

CE may certainly be my mom... something like the monster calling Dr. Frankenstein "Dad."

*plays "She Blinded Me With Science" followed by "Weird Science."

Fas bore Weasel a son named Tybaltus

This is certainly one of the worst mental image I could ever have!

It's uncertain how many members of Be there are exactly.

There are no records of members. None are needed. Finding one's BE is just finding your True Self.

However, I have yet to decipher whether the over-boned child, Z, truly found his.

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 8:50 am

*grin*

Looks like a lott of work, but time well spent AC.

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 8:51 am

[QUOTE=Aegis]*Sigh* with all history, there are inaccuracies, but then, we're not all Mormans

Omissions, and such. Hmm, maybe some revisionist history is in hand...

[/QUOTE]They say that truth is stranger than fiction, Aegis, but in this case, the fiction may be more entertaining! I'm just glad that she didn't try to create a history of SYM with Anomen as its progenitor!

Personally, if I were to write a history of SYM, I would claim that it was created by LOVE!!, despite its foundation by SATAN....

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 9:02 am

ROFL!

This sounds a lot like an explanation of the Greek pantheon of deities, which of course leads to some questions. As I recall Zeus slew Cronos. Now Cronos was the prime progenitor of Zeus, Apollo, Athena etc. and the various other siblings...

So my questions is, who is SYM's Cronos? Fable or Weasel?

And does this mean somebody will attempt to usurp one of the above in their ascent to supreme domination?

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 9:11 am

[QUOTE=Xandax]Yeah - there are still many of us "first generation" people still left.
I think there are very few "active" (Kid### is one) with an earlier registration date then mine

And still I'm left out .... *sobbing*. okay, so I wasn't one of the revolting instigaters that spammed up Goddy in BG2, causing Buck to go into overload and in a weak moment create SYM, but I was still here

[/QUOTE]

You actually WERE in the first generation the first time I ran through it, but I had a total of four spreadsheets, all of which became very messy very quickly, and somehow you were left out of the final product. Sorry about that one.

*hugs*

The first posts will be Edited as we clarify and make corrections. We want to make documentation as real as possible, after all.

[QUOTE=Gwalchmai]
Personally, if I were to write a history of SYM, I would claim that it was created by LOVE!!....
[/QUOTE]

Well, YOU were created for the purpose of love.

DW - When I read the Illiad I waded through all the spreadsheets of the gods, finding out who was who. So yes, I imagine it is very similar to Greek ideas of lineage as that's where I got most of the ideas from.

I think Fable and Weasel are equal and exact opposites, actually. They keep the SYM stable.

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 9:29 am

Well, you forgot the HEATHEN, society of valorous fighters against the domination of babylonian godlings, who fight over the richest spoils of battle (tequila), never getting closer to chicken tandoori and fighting evil.
This has been founded by Sytze, the master marksman of all times, who wield his +5 elven blessed bow wich requires no ammo to fight evil.
My participation in this group granted me an upgrade on my +3 avenger to +5 unholy godling slayer, so I posess the better long sword against godlings.
Our goal is to fight godling spam, to protect the weak, to go to as many pubs as possible, and to have the support of as many girls as possible.

We work together with many groups, as long as we keep the same paths - COMMs, SLUURs, REAL, BS, anywhere spam is present.

LONG LIVE THE ORDER OF HEATHEN!!!

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 9:59 am

[QUOTE=Aqua-chan]You actually WERE in the first generation the first time I ran through it, but I had a total of four spreadsheets, all of which became very messy very quickly, and somehow you were left out of the final product. Sorry about that one.

*hugs*

The first posts will be Edited as we clarify and make corrections. We want to make documentation as real as possible, after all.

<snip>[/QUOTE]

Why thank you - but I'm so used to being ignored and forgotten, so there is really nothing lost by overlooking me

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 11:49 am

You might want to add something about the Rise and Fall of the Spam, starting with Weasel's lordship, followed by his abdication over to COMM, the take over of the Spam by Georgi and I, followed by my passing it on to Tybs, who subsequently allowed it to die, on account of his hidden agenda with COMM. Damn!

Also, mention to the holy thread of 'Goody' in order. It was, after all, SYM's reason for becoming.

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 11:59 am

I'm not quite first gen...I was here after Bassie, but during the Waverly/Weasel rivalry.

And then there were the god wars, as well. Most of it was immaturity between Thorin, cheesemage, and myself (though I was Gaxx_Firkraag) at the time.

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 12:05 pm

Don't forget the extremely small epoch where Weasel had a mistress (Gilgalen/Foul)....

RandomThug · Post by **RandomThug** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 12:06 pm

Thug does not know where he fits in, somewhere before Grunts banning and somewhere after Weasel Waverly thing..

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 12:09 pm

[QUOTE=RandomThug]Thug does not know where he fits in, somewhere before Grunts banning and somewhere after Weasel Waverly thing..[/QUOTE]

Your conquest of Canada (and its failure

) should be documented too

@AC...Thug brought up an importent point....what about all the Englishmen (Kameleon, Grunt, and IIRC there was a Frog -can't remember his name- too)?

RandomThug · Post by **RandomThug** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 12:48 pm

The conquest of canada is not a failure, this will be a long standing war. For the frozen tundra of Canada, much like its commie brethren in Stalingrad, stand tough with thier maple syrup and hockey sticks. Soon their walls will break and capitalism and myself will come reaping the land of all their natural resources.

Oh btw Der Scayde and Der Chank.