help

JazzyAnna · Post by **JazzyAnna** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 6:34 pm

I have a problem. Some of my friends smoke pot. I really care about them and want them to stop. But I don't know how to talk to them about it. I don't know why they do it, or how often they do it, I just know they do smoke sometimes. I care about them a lot, and I know I really need to talk to them. But I don't know how to bring it up, or what to say to them. Have any of you ever been in a situation like this? I'd appreciate any advice. Thank you.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 6:38 pm

Well, you have to look at this as if they were smoking cigarettes. It's hard to make anyone quit anything, and something like pot is probably even harder then cigarettes. Depending on how old you and your friends are, though, one of two things will happen. They'll hit an age where they realize that pot isn't really that great, and move on after quiting, or they'll become life long pot-heads. Either way, though, they really have to come to that point on their own, not much you can do to influence them. It's best to just grit your teeth, make your displeasure known about it, and let them come to their own decision.

fable · Post by **fable** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 6:39 pm

If someone has a habit, destructive or otherwise, that you don't like, all you can do is tell them to stop it--and then stop telling them. In the end, it's their decision. Repeating your discouragement will only make your friendship more tenuous.

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 6:47 pm

I agree. while you can make it clear how you feel about it, going out of your way to criticise them would most likely put more distance between you and your friends and make it less likely that you could discuss it with them if they do have a problem.

Volk · Post by **Volk** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 6:50 pm

I have a great friend who smokes pot and admits to do so i dont bug him about it because i know ultimatly no matter how much i do its his choice. We are still great friends he dosent bug me about not smoking and i dont bug him about smoking, strictly friendship first and personal choice second.

JazzyAnna · Post by **JazzyAnna** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 6:56 pm

Criticizing them is the farthest thing from my mind. I just don't want them to get hurt or anything. Maybe I worry too much, I dunno.

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 11:10 pm

Smoking such substances are illegal in many countries (in the US where Buck comes from and has used as a foundation for the forum rules) - thus if this topic should remain open, it should not encourage breaking the law.

(and don't go into arguments that it might be less harmfull compared to other legal substances. Such arguments are for the legislators in the given countries, and would also be off topic in this thread).

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giles337 · Post by **giles337** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 1:19 pm

i have this same problem.... a friend that i really care about smokes, and i really don't know how to breach the problem. So any help will be appreciated

and don't go into arguments that it might be less harmfull compared to other legal substances

Plus the fact that they are all false. consider the deaths indirectly caused by it. need i say more.

VonDondu · Post by **VonDondu** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 2:49 pm

You can't change other people's behavior, whether it's smoking dope, smoking cigarettes, eating junk food, reckless driving, unsafe sex, running with "the wrong crowd", or anything else under the sun. You can't make people make the right choices, period. If you don't like it, you just have to grin and bear it, or else forget those people and make new friends.

"Potheads" (the ones with really bad substance abuse problems) are a sorry sight. They have trouble concentrating, they have zero attention span, they always look jumpy, and the ones I know can't go to sleep without getting high first. Not to mention they smell bad, and they tend to have poor taste in food, art, music, and fashion. I say live and let live, but I'm picky about who I invite into my house or spend my time with.

It has been a long time since I've studied the medical issues, but last I heard, pot supposedly causes chromosome damage, among other things. It causes irreparable damage to a woman's ovaries, so I don't think women who smoke pot should have kids. (As if any addict would feel she had to choose between them.) It also damages sperm, but all of the damaged sperm can be replaced. My rule has always been that if I married a pothead (God forbid), I'd make him abstain from pot for a month before letting him get me pregnant. If he couldn't give up the pot, I'd leave him. I can't control other people's destiny, but I can do something about my own.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 3:24 pm

First of all, without getting too much off topic here, I suggest you thoroughly research the effects of marijuana. Since this is an extremely contentious subject (with much dogma and political agenda at stake in both camps) I would recommend reading as objective an opinion as you can find, and failing that, read the material issued by both sides

What you do with your knowledge is ultimately up to you, but if nothing else it will provide you with some good background material should you broach the subject with your friends.

I agree with what others have said here... you can't really stop people from persuing a particular path, and in many cases they have to experience something for themselves in order to realise what is, and what is not, right for them. Also, if you appear judgemental or moralistic you will likely alienate your friends...
So the best approach, IMO, is to carefully gather your research, plan what you will say, and basically just state that you are bringing it up out of concern, ensuring that you refrain from sounding overly negative... However... only do this once...

Lost One · Post by **Lost One** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 4:39 pm

I don't see a big deal out of smoking pot. Regularly, yes. Once in a while, no. Most people I know have tried smoking weed at least once in their lives. Then again, the first time doesn't usually work well, but the consequent ones can make you feel very relaxed and...high. I think it's cool to smoke weed with a bunch of friends in somebody's house and everyone just chills out on the sofas saying crazy stuff that borders on the philosophical (at least from my experience).

I'm no pot-head, but I smoke now and then. When I lived in Amsterdam (hehe, the good ol' days), I smoked just about every week and never had to pay for any of it. It didn't get me addicted, the police didn't mind, and it made for some very fun times.
I've smoked pot here in Brazil where it's illegal too. And Xandax, I'm not encouraging breaking the law, I was just saying that people often say bad things about stuff without actually trying them out, when they might enjoy it. In that sense, I'm only encouraging her to try something new, rather than become a pot addict (if she hasn't tried already that is). She can go to Holland and try it there. That would work. Heh, if you really think my post warrants a thread deletion, sure, do it. I'll make sure now never to talk about sharing music files, driving over speed limits and doing other illegal activities which everyone does.

But anyway, if her friends smoke pot and she doesn't like it, as has been said, you can't change their minds. And unless their case is very serious (they are so stoned beyond comprehension), you should not try to help them. It's a bit like cigarettes. I have a friend that hates cigarettes, and always complains about being a passive smoker when he's around us (the smoking team). We have to respect him by not smoking on his face, but he also respects us by not trying to force his view upon us.

In the end, I think many things that are pleasurable in life are bad for you. This includes junk food, sweets, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, etc...
It's up to the consumer to be aware of what he is doing to his system, but realize that trying these things on occasion won't hurt you too much. It's when you do these things in excess that is a problem.

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Wed Sep 01, 2004 11:02 pm

[QUOTE=Lost One]<snip>
. Heh, if you really think my post warrants a thread deletion, sure, do it. I'll make sure now never to talk about sharing music files, driving over speed limits and doing other illegal activities which everyone does.
<snip>
[/QUOTE]

Encouraging people to share music files would also be agasint the forum rules - just FYI.
And because everybody does it dosen't make things more legal.

Anyways - back on topic....

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giles337 · Post by **giles337** » Thu Sep 02, 2004 11:47 am

Knowledge is power. Arm yourself. I also find that various comments, made jokily, can cause thought. I once got a friend to stop smoking with the following exchange

Me: Smoking Kills!
Abi: So does sex.
Me: But sex prevents testicular cancer.
Abi: I don't have testicles!
Me: But you do have lungs.

SOrry if any of this is inappropriate. Mods delete and edit as you feel necessary. But i think that the way to stop someone doing something is to make them thnk about it. If thinking about it makes hem like it even more? May "Whatever divinity you belive in" help them.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Sep 02, 2004 12:34 pm

JazzyAnna, how often do your friends smoke? Personally, I don't recommend anyone to smoke pot since there are negative health effects, but one should also note that these negative effects are strongly related to frequency of use.

Marijuana and hasch contains cannabis, which contains 4 times more tar and other cancerogenic substances that tobacco. This means that smoking cannabis induce the same health risks as smoking cigarettes. Like cigarettes, those risks are related to long term frequent use - smoking one ordinary joint a week would be equivalent to smoking 4 cigarettes a week in terms of effect on the respiratory system. The active substances differ between tobacco and cannabis, but the 4000 other substances, some of which are unhealthy, are the same.

Other long lasting effects are on cognitive performance. The psychoactive substance in marijuana and hasch is tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) which is neurotoxic and can cause cell death. Lower performance in tests of memory and attention has been demostrated in long term cannabis users compared to short time users and control subjects who did not use cannabis. Lower global IQ has been demonstrated in people who smoked more than 5 joints/week. The negative effect on cognitive functions could be related to the decrease in blood flow in the frontal lobes that cannabis induce. Also, there it at least one study showing marijuana related decrease in male fertility. Studies also indicate that THC may trigger psychosis in individuals already prone for psychosis disorders.

So, in short, smoking pot is certainly not healthy, but the health risks are comparable to alcohol and tobacco use. A person who smokes 5 cigarettes/month or drink 5 glasses of wine/month has a neglible increase is health risks compared to a non smoker or non drinker. In the same manner, a person who smoke 1 joint/month does not significantly increase their risk for disease or malfunctions. However, if your friends smoke pot on a regular basis, you may want to present the facts to them, but if they still choose to smoke often, then it's really not much more you can do.

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Thu Sep 02, 2004 12:50 pm

Jazzy, i know how you feel, cause my ex GF smoked pot. Everytime she was upset and couldnt find escape, she would smoke some. I hated the habit, and I wanted to disrupt it.

giles337 · Post by **giles337** » Thu Sep 02, 2004 1:55 pm

................ and what exactly did you do luis? did it work? ??