Girl Help !!!

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 5:47 pm

Look here...

Now there's this girl I really like, actually, let me rephrase that

Now there's this girl I really LOVE.

I just met her in June and I instantly fell in love

Now I just messed up on my hair,I got it cut, and it makes me look and feel like an idiot.

Now she and I are already friends, so I had a talk with her but I accidently find out that she like another guy,and she wants to ask him out pretty soon,Should I ask her out now, or shood I save myself the trouble of getting it rejected ( if I am rejected ) and keep it to myself

Now let me be a little more clear about this, she is VERY nice to me, and I'm afraid that if I ask her out she will feel weird and end the relation ship I've cobbled up, but I'm MADDDDLY IN LOVE with her at the same time.

WHAT DO I DO!

EDIT: also, I forgot to leave out the fact that I'm only 12, but i've never felt this way about a girl

so once again, WHAT DO I DO!

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 7:38 pm

I can only say...ask her or forget her. Life is not easy. Not asking will only lead to regret/hard feelings when she does ask the other person out and you then see her spending more time away from you with the other person.

As for your age..I will only say what I would tell my 12 year old....Study instead of worrying about something you have your whole life ahead of you to look forward to.

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 8:33 pm

studying is not a problem, i'm in the smartest class in 7th grade and I have atleest 3 folders full of awards... grades arent a problem for me rite now, my bro is soon going to pay for privte lessons to prep me for steyvasent high school (not sure how it's spelled) well if your not from new york, it's the best high school you could ever even dream about going to

Bottom Line: Grades aren't a problem

Other Line: I've never fealt this way about a girl... and I know I will have this feeling again some other time in life but I just can't stand it... It's like there this empty hole in me... looking at her fills it half way.. being with her fills it even more... imagine how I'd feel if I got to have a REAL relationship with her

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 9:03 pm

Weasel's got a point. I never had a girlfriend until I was 17, and even then there were things I rather regretted! This was a young woman that I practically treated as a wife for the most part, though

Unfortunately, I haven't had one since, even at 20, so I'm just doing the more important things in the meantime.

Overall, take your time. Haste may likely make waste, in this case. The fact that she likes another guy really makes me stress this above all else.

dark_raven · Post by **dark_raven** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 9:43 pm

i'll only tell you what i'd in your situation, take my advice or leave it, i care not... i'd follow my heart, what i mean by this is i'd tell her my feelings twards her. even if i had to write it down, i'd tell her... the worst thing she could do about that was say that she doesn't feel the same way twards me. but thats only what i'd do.

Sean The Owner · Post by **Sean The Owner** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 10:47 pm

IMO if you tell her about how you feel what have you to regret? if you dont tell then you may regret it later when she says she liked you in grade 7 but figured you didnt like her back and she grew 'away' from you, so basically im saying you can only regret what you dont say

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 12:36 am

Well, I'm somewhat contrary to popular advice. If she's told you that she likes another guy, it wouldn't be fair to her to suddenly bare your soul to her. I know it's a rather painful thought, but think about what would happen if the situation was reversed. The best thing for you, right now (given age and situation) is to be her friend, and support her in her decisions. That way, if things do happen to make a move in your direction, you'll still be there, and you won't have put her in an awkward position where you possibly risk the friendship.

Keep in mind, you are twelve, and not to sound my age, but most times when you get these feelings at that age, it's not exactly what you think it is (though, sometimes it can be). Crush's at that age can often be mistaken for love (speaking from experiance).

So, to cap up, I don't think it'd be the most fair thing to tell her you like her, considering what you've been told, but don't back away. Continue to be there as her friend, and see what happens.

Xenos1 · Post by **Xenos1** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 12:55 am

Go for it

I have too say honestly and if/when i have a son go for it tell her, its not worth going through life wondering. the worst mistake people make in my opinion is not following what they belive and feel even if you get rejected you at least know and if it dosent work out between her and the other guy you have a chance because she will at least know you care about her.

Good luck !

Opalescence · Post by **Opalescence** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 2:03 am

Look, I had a GF and lemme tell you it was the worst decision in my life. Then again, my life is uber-wierd, so take that with a shakerfull of salt. All I can say is, I'm in college and am now 19 years old, and I actively avoid any female I find even remotely attractive. Y'ever hear the old saying about them that dance with the Devil?

Yeah.

Anyway, lemme tell you something else. If'n she's about to ask somebody else out, you've missed out buddy. I don't want to sound mean, rude, or harsh but that's the truth. I know from painful experience. There was this girl I really liked, and I had EIGHT whole years to approach her (and to make matters even more pathetic, she was SINGLE the whole time), and I didn't so much as approach the subject. Eight years, can you imagine that? How pathetic am I? She's now engaged, by the way

. Take it from me; approach girls ASAP, because you don't control her and the thinking "I'll do it later" won't work because before ya know it they're goin out with somebody else

.

My advice to you is to forget it. Take this as a lesson to heart that if you truly believe you love somebody you should, for both your sakes, have the guts to go up to her and say so. What's the worst that could possibly happen? She says no, or laughs it off. So what?

Paranitis · Post by **Paranitis** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 2:44 am

Ask her out. If she refuses then stalk her. Then when her boyfriend is alone, kill him and take all his stuff. Then bring her the guy's head in a plastic bag with a card saying "I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH!". And then if she freaks out, slap her across the face and then start choking her viciously.

Oh, and incase people freak out, I was just kidding.

I would say ask her out. Atleast you have it in you at your age to have a definate thought in your head about this. With me it was more about wondering if what I felt was a crush or not so I ended up not really talking to girls at all til I was about 15. Then at 16-17 I had a girlfriend, and I am 22 now and haven't had one since.

Girls are a waste of time.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 2:44 am

@Opalescence:

That's sad. I generally agree with what you have written about approaching people you love as soon as possible, not waiting. I've heard so many stories of waiting, and they all end with the loved person finding somebody else.

@Dark_Elv_Nyte: I'm sorry, but I also think you should not ask your friend our right now when she is considering somebody else. Like Aegis says, it's not fair to her to confuse her with your own feelings right now when she is considering somebody else. Instead, be her friend and support her, and with time, your love for her may dimish. It may also turn out so that nothing lasting happens between her and they guy she's currently interested in, and if that happens, you can ask her out later.

Ideal Maxima · Post by **Ideal Maxima** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 5:29 am

I HAVE GREAT NEWS!

well it's rong to say "GREAT" news but I have good news

THE OTHER GUY REJECTED HER

WHAT DO I DO NOW HOW DO I APPROACH HER IN THE WAY OF LOVE... or atleest get her to go out wit me

THANKS FOR THE HELP SO FAR PEOPLE!

but i'm really not that good with girls... except for being their friend... i asked this one girl out ONCE and she said yes... but it was only for my senior prom...

NOW CAN SOME ONE GIVE ME ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO ASK A GIRL OUT PLEASE!

Vicsun · Post by **Vicsun** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 5:41 am

[QUOTE=Darc_Elv_Nyte]I HAVE GREAT NEWS!

well it's rong to say "GREAT" news but I have good news

THE OTHER GUY REJECTED HER

[/QUOTE]

I'm glad to know seeing her being rejected brings such joy to your heart.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 6:01 am

WHAT DO I DO NOW HOW DO I APPROACH HER IN THE WAY OF LOVE... or atleest get her to go out wit me

You initially don't. Stop focusing for a bit on what you want, and start focusing on what she needs. Be her friend. She probably needs a good friend, right now. So don't ask her out on a romantic date, at least, not at first. Meaning don't put any moves on her. Give her the quiet security of a person who likes her for her qualities.

Dink Martindale · Post by **Dink Martindale** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 6:40 am

been there

I'm prolly a little older than most on this board (32!) but take this advice from someone who's been there. Ask her out. If she goes for it, great! If not, the experiance will really help you down the road when the next girl your interested comes along (believe me, there will be plenty)

When I was your age I was in the same position. Friends with lots of girls I liked but couldn't bring myself to try to move the friendships to the next level. Eventually I tried. The first girl I asked out said no and it hurt like hell for a couple weeks but eventually I bounced back and the second one said yes. I learned plenty from both experiances. My only real advice is that when you ask her, try to be prepared for any response. Don't let the situation get too intense in your mind before you act on it. Don't be totally obsessive. Your teenage years are going to be a rollercoaster of emotions regardless of how many girls you wind up involved with. In time, and with experiance, this gets much easier and much more rewarding.

Finally, don't take rejection too personally. If she's already your friend and she rejects a romantic involvment, her friendship should still be very valuable. Talking about this stuff with girls you arn't trying to hit on is a big help.

Good Luck Boss.

p.s. I've been involved with about 10 girls in my life and each situation was valuable. My current girlfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years and we're getting married next year.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 7:08 am

I'm prolly a little older than most on this board (32!)

Dink, in SYM, a fair number of us are in our 30's through 50's. I'm 52, myself. In any case, welcome to the boards.

Dink Martindale · Post by **Dink Martindale** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 7:10 am

Thx. Much aprieciated.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 7:54 am

[QUOTE=Dink Martindale]Thx. Much aprieciated.[/QUOTE]

I'm also probably one of the most ignorant members of this forum.

There's a wealth of knowledge here at all ages, and I'm delighted at all the stuff you can learn by just sitting back and reading from some of the scientists, lawyers and programmers we've got as regulars. On a subject like this it doesn't count for much, but the more factual threads really display a helluva lot of background.

I apologize for this digression, Dark Elf Nyte.

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:14 am

[QUOTE=fable] Stop focusing for a bit on what you want,[/QUOTE]

The hardest thing for a human to learn.

Malta Soron · Post by **Malta Soron** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:17 am

New idea: stay single! You're totally free and have no responsibility but for yourself! (And you help to stop this earth being over-crowded).