LOL LOL Some of the main protaganists dialogues crack me up

Zartuul · Post by **Zartuul** » Mon Jul 02, 2001 8:16 pm

WARNING SOME ROMANCE SPOILERS WITH AERIE FOLLLOW

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Here's just a few gems that I've encountered along the way. The game really lets you be a total ******* if you want to be.

Aerie pulls you aside and whispers that she's pregnant and asks what you think about it.

Protagnist - That is horrible Aerie!

HAHHAHAAAHAHA god thats awful

Later on she asks if you had given thought about her being pregnant and what the child will mean to both of you and how it could change things.

Protagnist - It won't change me a bit...I want nothing to do with the kid.

HAHHAHHAHA!! Oh my I busted a gut laughing, thats just so wrong and awful, something I could never say IRL. I didn't say that in game either just because.

Then within the same dialogue:

Protagnist - I'd rather just forget about you and the kid Aerie. Take a hike 'mommy'.

God what an ******* response, luckily for Aerie I'm a paladin and act like one.

fable · Post by **fable** » Mon Jul 02, 2001 10:54 pm

Protagnist - It won't change me a bit...I want nothing to do with the kid.

It does make you wonder who they had writing the dialog.

I mean, that dialog is the sort of thing you'd expect from a Neanderthal grunt, or maybe a fullback from New Jersey. Hardly a human.

Reminds me, too, of the options in the Ultima Underworld series, where choices were reduced to 1) Sure, little rabbit, I'll be glad to help you get your carrots! or 2) Get out of here, or I'll kill you after first gutting you! It's either flowers and light, or psychopath time.

Mr Snow · Post by **Mr Snow** » Mon Jul 02, 2001 11:13 pm

Anyone remember the line from BG1 when you met Elminster in Baldur's Gate itself and one of the lines was telling El to "Go tell someone who cares"

Cracked up when I read that, just had to say it to see the reaction.

Xyx · Post by **Xyx** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 1:58 am

And when you brush him off like that he becomes even more obnoxious and tells you the whole deal anyway

beaver_cheese · Post by **beaver_cheese** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 6:21 am

Speaking of hilarious dialogues, did anyone get the one where Imoen tells Minsc she wants a hamster? I know, I know, it doesn't concern your PC, but c'mon, did any of you see that coming?

fable · Post by **fable** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 9:20 am

Well, I saw Jan threatening to take Boo--that was seen a mile off. Fact is, Boo is such a great invitation to dialog that you'd expect any writer to make something juicy of that matter. And Bioware did.

slenz · Post by **slenz** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 9:29 am

Hmm, makes you wonder if they also have an option to ask Aerie who's kid it is...

'WHAT?!? Your WHAT Aerie??? Is it mine, or did that whistling bastard Heir D'alis Knock you up?'

Even more curious. Does Aerie birth you a little Bhaalspawn junior at the end?

Tharan · Post by **Tharan** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 10:05 am

Actually one of the finest conversations I found so far is just a day ago. I am playing with an evil party. And Korgan began to tell his story about the party he was traveling with. It was so funny the way he had to kill all of the off.

"Eh, wounded a leg eh? Well off you go"
"Eh, Won't stop moaning from pain, off you go"
It was so funny.

Xyx · Post by **Xyx** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 2:13 pm

What happens when Aerie gets pregnant and you take really long to finish the game?

Metatron · Post by **Metatron** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 2:21 pm

My favorite so far has been when the spectator beholder tells you he's going to go to the nearest hive and check out the ladies, then asks what you're going to do, you can respond, "The same."

Raistlin · Post by **Raistlin** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 2:50 pm

The dialog oPtions in the game are indeed funny . I just laughed 5 minutes to `Minsc I want an hamster` dialog . I mean what the hell . We are about to encounter an ancient dragon and lil sister wants an hamster . I thought of some possible answers that Minsc can reply to this but they are a bit offensive (you know what i mean(
Another funny one was in SOA when Aran Linvail tells you how to enter Bodhi`s Lair .He tells you about a wall and you have an oPtion like `other than banging my head to the wall do you have an advice how to open it` It cracked me up.

And the young adventureres which you meet in TOB . The whole thing was very funny and clever indeed

Jhareth of house Noquar · Tue Jul 03, 2001 3:00 pm

How about this classic...

I'm in the dungeon of De'Arnise keep, trying to rescue her family, when Nalia pipes in with "How are we helping the less fortunate by trudging around in here?"
Well, if you don't consider someone being eaten by trolls to be "less fortunate" than yourself... Self esteem problem, maybe?

Dúnadan · Post by **Dúnadan** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 3:10 pm

Most of these dialogues are hilarious, though most of the time they aren't what my character would say. My only regret with the BG series is the (relative) lack of dialogue options. There was one instance, however, that really delighted me. On one of the thieve's guild questes, you are sent to retrieve some documents of a aman at the Sea's Bountey Tavern. The conversation was something like this:

Marcus: Leave me alone, I'm busy!

PC: Oh, sorry, you have something on your...(break his neck quickly and quietly)

Marcus: Dead

That was sooo sweet. It seemed exactly the thing my assassin would do, and I got a good laugh out of it as well...

[ 07-03-2001: Message edited by: Dúnadan ]

BilboTheHobbit · Post by **BilboTheHobbit** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 5:17 pm

"My name is Edwin Odesseiron but you may refer to me as *Sir*" Haha, Edwin cracked me, I have never had so fun with anyone else.

Metatron · Post by **Metatron** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 6:22 pm

I personally think Korgan and Minsc are tied for funniest NPCs. Korgan is funny in that macabre, 'I murder people for money and boy do I enjoy it' kind of way. Minsc is just nutty. It's all good. Heh.

fable · Post by **fable** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 7:36 pm

Yeah, there's something appalling delightful about Korgan's dialog. It reminds me of WS Gilbert's more macabre Bab Ballads, deliberately designed to drive the Edwardian Brits out of their skulls. There was one, The Yarn of the "Nancy Bell" (a ship), that reminded me a lot of Korgan. Here it is. Just remember to think of some offkey, terrible rendition of a sea chanty as you read it:

'Twas on the shores that round our coast
From Deal to Ramsgate span,
That I found alone on a piece of stone
An elderly naval man.

His hair was weedy, his beard was long,
And weedy and long was he,
And I heard this wight on the shore recite,
In a singular minor key:

"Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold,
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And a bo'sun tight, and a midshipmite,
And the crew of the captain's gig."

And he shook his fists and he tore his hair,
Till I really felt afraid,
For I couldn't help thinking the man had been drinking,
And so I simply said:

"Oh, elderly man, it's little I know
Of the duties of men of the sea,
And I'll eat my hand if I understand
However you can be

"At once a cook, and a captain bold,
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And a bo'sun tight, and a midshipmite,
And the crew of the captain's gig."

Then he gave a hitch to his trousers, which
Is a trick all seamen larn,
And having got rid of a thumping quid,
He spun this painful yarn:

"'Twas in the good ship Nancy Bell
That we sailed to the Indian Sea,
And there on a reef we come to grief,
Which has often occurred to me.

"And pretty nigh all the crew was drowned
(There was seventy-seven o' soul),
And only ten of the Nancy's men
Said 'Here!' to the muster-roll.

"There was me and the cook and the captain bold,
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And the bo'sun tight, and a midshipmite,
And the crew of the captain's gig.

"For a month we'd neither wittles nor drink,
Till a-hungry we did feel,
So we drawed a lot, and, accordin' shot
The captain for our meal.

"The next lot fell to the Nancy's mate,
And a delicate dish he made;
Then our appetite with the midshipmite
We seven survivors stayed.

"And then we murdered the bo'sun tight,
And he much resembled pig;
Then we wittled free, did the cook and me,
On the crew of the captain's gig.

"Then only the cook and me was left,
And the delicate question, 'Which
Of us two goes to the kettle?' arose,
And we argued it out as sich.

"For I loved that cook as a brother, I did,
And the cook he worshipped me;
But we'd both be blowed if we'd either be stowed
In the other chap's hold, you see.

"'I'll be eat if you dines off me,' says Tom;
'Yes, that,' says I, 'you'll be, --
'I'm boiled if I die, my friend,' quoth I;
And 'Exactly so,' quoth he.

"Says he, 'Dear James, to murder me
Were a foolish thing to do,
For don't you see that you can't cook me,
While I can -- and will -- cook you!'

"So he boils the water, and takes the salt
And the pepper in portions true
(Which he never forgot), and some chopped shalot.
And some sage and parsley too.

"'Come here,' says he, with a proper pride,
Which his smiling features tell,
''T will soothing be if I let you see
How extremely nice you'll smell.'

"And he stirred it round and round and round,
And he sniffed at the foaming froth;
When I ups with his heels, and smothers his squeals
In the scum of the boiling broth.

"And I eat that cook in a week or less,
And -- as I eating be
The last of his chops, why, I almost drops,
For a wessel in sight I see!

"And I never larf, and I never smile,
And I never lark nor play,
But sit and croak, and a single joke
I have -- which is to say:

"Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold,
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And a bo'sun tight, and a midshipmite,
And the crew of the captain's gig.'"

cheesemage · Post by **cheesemage** » Tue Jul 03, 2001 8:03 pm

lots of funny dialogs theres one hwere jan talks to keldorn about diaper rash

and one of the options when you talk to the solar and find out how you fit into aluandos phorphecy,and asks why do i think i am involved one option is life wold be boring if it werent for phoprecys lol

Xyx · Post by **Xyx** » Wed Jul 04, 2001 1:46 pm

Fable, nice song

Korgan also gets pretty much all over Mazzy, which has its share of funny dialog

WAYNEO · Post by **WAYNEO** » Sat Jul 07, 2001 11:57 pm

There's a point where you can tell Minsc "You may not be scaring who you think you are" or something. Has anyone replied that way to him?

I always go w/ What the hell... and he says he has to get Me a hamster -- or something else.

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Thu Jul 19, 2001 3:22 pm

Anything the specter Beholder says.

"My name is Edwin Odesseiron, but you simmions my refer to me as 'sir', if you prefer a less sylable intensive workout."

Also, in tob, Viconia pulled a prank on Jan. She said there was a poisonous spider on Jan's back. He didn't believe her, and started rambling on about Uncle Scratchy and some other stories as well. Until he saw the bug on his back and started screaming...

SPOILER!!!!!!!!
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The bug was just a dead fly, and Viconia said she wasn't the only one who could pull a prank.

[ 07-19-2001: Message edited by: Gaxx_Firkraag ]