L.i.a.r.

[Bloodstalker]

Case File 679905 *DECLASSIFIED*

Subject: Bloodstalkers Equine Seduction

Certain members have resorted to debasing the impeccable chracter of Lord Stalker by insinuating he seduced a donkey named Cordelia. This is a half-truth. Luckily, records exist that will bear out the entire sordid tale. Portions of transcripts from the night in question are attached:


DW: Oh my God, there he is!

AC: What? Where?

DW: Right there! Next to the punch bowl.

AC: Isn't he gorgeous?

*girlish sighs*

DW: If only he'd notice me.

AC: Hey, I got first dibs sister.

DW: Like he hasn't been all over you already. You're just too stubborn to take what you want.

AC: There just has to be a way....wait, this is a costume party, do you think maybe?

DW: Is this something you learned from your date with Weasel?

AC: You kidding me? That was nothing, just a mix-up. I'd never steal Mom's man.

DW: Well, it does have possabilities....but what costume....

AC: I hear he's from the south. OMG, and his accent...

*Girlish giggles*

DW: I have the perfect idea!!

*Conversation fast forwarded to a local costume shop.*

DW: Yes, I'm quite sure. That's the one.

AC: I don't know, I was kinda thinking something seperate, and a little sexier...

DW: Sexier? All southern men have this fantasy.

AC: You sure about that?

DW: Right here, in this book. 1001 ways to trap that hick of your dreams.

AC: He is dreamy, isn't he?

*Girlish sighs*

*Fast forward to back at the party*

AC: No fair! You get the good end!

DW: I bought the costume!

AC: But you'll get all the action! I wanna be the ass.

DW: I'm the ass. We'll switch off. That make you happy?

AC:*pouty voice* No, but I'll deal with it. But this seam, it's not closing properly. It's ruin the fantasy.

DW: Duct tape it. That always works.

AC: Fine. Whatever, but you better be right about the switching. What if we don't have time? What if the encounter is over and I'm still stuck in front?

DW: No way. Just watch how he moves. He has stamina, I can tell.

AC: My God, look at those rippling muscles. Do you think he's noticed us yet?

DW: I don't know. Oh, he's coming this way !!! Quick, bray or something!!

AC: Hurry, shake the tail feather!

DW: We don't have one. We're a donkey, remember?

AC: I told you we should have played Chase the Chicken instead.

DW: I'm swishing the tail!! He's looking at us!!

AC: Hurry, lead him to the stable. It'll complete the fantasy! He'll be ours forever.

DW: Damn. I can't see anything anymore. The tail's stuck.

AC: What does it matter? We got BS's attention. Just move.

*BS watches in amusementas AC and DW stagger off in a duct taped donkey costume*

Ned: Think they still got that bull in the stable?

BS: Don't know. What do you think they're up to anyway?

Ned: DW's depraved. Your guess is as good as mine.

BS: Didn't you say you were gonna introduce me to a young lady?

NED: Yep. Cordelia. She should be around here somewhere.


*Transcript ends here. However, rumor has it the bull was still in the stable suffering from depression. All eyewitness accounts claim he made a stunning recovery during the night*

[Scayde]

Fantasies been running overtime again BS?