First and foremost, I want to see you happy with life. You deserve it, perhaps more than most people I know. It's troublesome, though, because relationships with others always exact some sort of price. Compromises of different kinds simply can't be avoided no matter what we do, since you, just like myself, seek an equal. We do not desire someone who bends easily to our own wills. That might be entertaining for a short time, but sooner or later it loses its appeal, becoming repulsive in a way.
The price often involves pain and hurt. That's both a price, and a risk we take going into a relationship with someone. You've had plenty of that - but unless you are willing to avoid the more serious sort of relationships for the rest of your days, Scayde, it all boils down to making a decision.
Out of the billions of people on earth, the man ideally suited for you probably exists. Since finding this guy - statistically speaking - is akin to finding a needle in a haystack, locating your perfect match is not feasible. I know that you want the sort of intimacy that a more serious relationship involves - who doesn't? - but you just have to count the cost. You never start building something until after you have counted the cost.
Judging by your description of this man, he sounds like a gentleman. I'm probably biased in his favor because he's an outdoor sort...life on a ranch or farm demands it. I have no doubt that he is at once sophisticated, yet simple and straightforward when the situation demands it. I've known people like him, and enjoy their company tremendously. They usually notice things others miss, and normally reserve judgment until the time is right is to give it. Such a person is able to discuss ancient Mayan ruins, or talk about the stream that runs through their land, and do both very well. This is simply the impression that I have of him, Scayde...so it's easy for me to see how you would be attracted to him so strongly.
I would be more concerned about his outlook than anything else. He sounds like he is more inhibited than you are, in general...but things like that can change, even if he seems "set" in his ways. It may simply be that he never has been with someone like you before. I can identify with that.
Thawing the ice can take some time, but it sounds to me like this is a great guy, overall. It might be worth the risk. You must decide that. I will reserve my own judgement until I learn how he feels about you having friends. Is he possessive? When I say this, I mean friends in general. Some people are indeed so possessive that they can't stand their significant other having their own friends. I'm guessing that this is not the case, otherwise you would not be feeling as ambivalent as you are right now.Remember, however, that certain feelings can emerge once a committment is made. You probably don't need me to tell you this, Scayde, but caution is advised. Spend more time with him...but until you are reasonably sure, I would not sell your house in Tyler and make a permanent move until you are. More than anything else, he has to accept you. If he does not - if he hasn't counted the cost for himself - then I would not make any sort of committment to him. For you, I think this more important than whether or not you are sexually compatible. Sex can be worked with, but acceptance is much harder an issue.
I am leaning in his favor. Your best friend sounds like she's right.
