Relationship Problem

Darth Zenemij · Post by **Darth Zenemij** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:27 pm

Relationship Problem SPAM!!!

Now as I have posted earlier I have been single for quite some time

. I just can't seem to let my ex go though. I mean, I can't bear the thought of seeing her in the arms of another; But I still want her to be happy. My mind can't seem to let her go. I can say all my feelings for her are gone, But I truly cannot submit to it. I do want to say that I have loved her for a real long time to her in person

, but I don't want to think of what she thinks or what she will say

. I want for her to be happy but I can't submit to being all alone, having things like this is new to me (we have been together scince 7th grade

), I can control myself emotionly through out the day, But when I get home I just start to get Filled woth all these sudden feelings of self pitty, enragement, and others. I can continue with a whole list of things that I still feel for her, but I will stop there. I need some advice on letting her go, I have tried all I can think of as of now.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:33 pm

Give it time, and keep busy. Distract yourself. It's why I dissapeared with my friend for a week and got so wasted I could barely stand. That time I was unable to think clearly, and enjoying myself made me realize I had more to think of, enjoy and miss than just my girl. I've moved on in that week I spent with my friend. I still miss her and what not, but it's not the overwhelming sadness I had two weeks ago.

Darth Zenemij · Post by **Darth Zenemij** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:35 pm

Hopefully I won't have to go to that weding, so I can try to plan a sudden party out of the Blue and get wasted like a mofo.

But thanks Magrus

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:36 pm

[QUOTE=Darth Zenemij]Hopefully I won't have to go to that weding, so I can try to plan a sudden party out of the Blue and get wasted like a mofo.

But thanks Magrus[/QUOTE]

Your welcome. Yeah, the whole staying wasted for so long that I drifted away from those thoughts really helped. Expensive, and exhausting but it helped.

Darth Zenemij · Post by **Darth Zenemij** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:39 pm

[QUOTE=Magrus]Your welcome. Yeah, the whole staying wasted for so long that I drifted away from those thoughts really helped. Expensive, and exhausting but it helped.

[/QUOTE]

Exhausting is what these few days have been, But it will sufice. I'm listening to that somg that ik posted in Fable's satanic hapster dance thing, it is really cool.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:45 pm

How long has it been since you broke up?
I hate to sound like I'm offering platitudes... but often these things take a great deal of time to heal..
I won't say that you should try to do something to take your mind off of it, because while such would be the best course of action, this is impossible when you hurt so badly. What you need to do, is try to reconcile yourself to the reality of your situation somehow. But, before you can do this, you must deal with a few issues. It sounds to me as though you'd still like to be with her... If this is the case, are there any chances that it can happen? Or, is it completely over? I hope for your sake that it is either definitely over or that there is a very strong probability you'll get back together.. because wandering through an ambiguous 'no man's land' is complete Hell.

If it is irrevocably over, you need to come to terms with it and accept it. In situations like this some kind of ritual can help. Either something private that you carry out yourself, or maybe something that the two of you do together.. a sort of severing ceremony....

As far as telling her that you love her... This can be tricky, and it depends a lot on the people concerned. I think, it can help though, depending on how you do it. Perhaps you can tell her in combination with some sort of ceremony that gives you closure?

It all depends on how old you both are too...

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:46 pm

[QUOTE=Darth Zenemij]Exhausting is what these few days have been, But it will sufice. I'm listening to that somg that ik posted in Fable's satanic hapster dance thing, it is really cool.[/QUOTE]

My music I've fallen in love with is the only thing that's kept me alive this long. It helps, in so many ways. It was wonderful spending this week blasting music and singing with my friend. I felt just, free, from everything but her, I and our music. I do believe that helped me more than the drinking and partying.

Darth Zenemij · Post by **Darth Zenemij** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:59 pm

[QUOTE=dragon wench]How long has it been since you broke up?
I hate to sound like I'm offering platitudes... but often these things take a great deal of time to heal..
I won't say that you should try to do something to take your mind off of it, because while such would be the best course of action, this is impossible when you hurt so badly. What you need to do, is try to reconcile yourself to the reality of your situation somehow. But, before you can do this, you must deal with a few issues. It sounds to me as though you'd still like to be with her... If this is the case, are there any chances that it can happen? Or, is it completely over? I hope for your sake that it is either definitely over or that there is a very strong probability you'll get back together.. because wandering through an ambiguous 'no man's land' is complete Hell.

If it is irrevocably over, you need to come to terms with it and accept it. In situations like this some kind of ritual can help. Either something private that you carry out yourself, or maybe something that the two of you do together.. a sort of severing ceremony....

As far as telling her that you love her... This can be tricky, and it depends a lot on the people concerned. I think, it can help though, depending on how you do it. Perhaps you can tell her in combination with some sort of ceremony that gives you closure?

It all depends on how old you both are too...

[/QUOTE]

It ended the Friday before Spring Break. And there lies another problem, I am not sure on her perspectives on the relationship, I mean I still want to be with her, but she is just not showing that she wants to. Alyson (a friend from some time ago) Just constantly tells me how much she missed the times we had togther. And Alyson thinks that it isn't right for us to not be together any more, we made such a great couple and we were widly known. As far as any chances of us getting togther is all up to her now; only if alyson sis really telling the truth and that she just wants us to be back together I can still understand, But it is still up to her. What do you mean by Rituals

I 'm not sure I completly understand you on that one. But thanks for the advice on all this Evrybody.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:28 pm

Stupid promises...now my girlfriends made it a point to start innane conversations with me after I told her I didn't want to deal with her unless she responded to the questions I posed to her the past two weeks. People can be dense at times.

Obsidian · Post by **Obsidian** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:44 pm

Hate to say it mate, but sometimes you just have to walk.
I tried everything to get a girl out of my mind and heart, and nothing works, not even the army. She will always have a place in your heart no matter where you go, or who you see. Reconcile yourself the fact that you likely mean the same to her.
If you are ever in love with some one, (and I am assuming here you two shared that love) it will always be important to the other person. Sometimes though, love ends, and you have to realize that and walk away.

I went through a LONG period of singleness, and just recently met someone amazing. Is she "superior" to my love lost? Couldn't say, who am I to rate?
But just walk away Z, just walk away.

jopperm2 · Post by **jopperm2** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 8:02 am

I have a very similar situation to yours DZ and I can tell you, it ain't easy.

I finally came to terms after fighting so hard to keep her that I felt crushed and gave up. Since I've given up I feel a little better. We argued a bit last night to and that sealed the deal for me. Now I don't care so much. I find it's a lot easier to be away from someone if you can focus on why you shouldn't be with them. Then eventually you won't want to be. This obviously doesn't work for everyone.

btw, Where are you located DZ?

@DW, If you come online today, drop me a line in my special gmail, I'd like to talk to you about stuff.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 9:20 am

[QUOTE=jopperm2]I have a very similar situation to yours DZ and I can tell you, it ain't easy.

I finally came to terms after fighting so hard to keep her that I felt crushed and gave up. Since I've given up I feel a little better. We argued a bit last night to and that sealed the deal for me. Now I don't care so much. I find it's a lot easier to be away from someone if you can focus on why you shouldn't be with them. Then eventually you won't want to be. This obviously doesn't work for everyone.
[/QUOTE]

That is exactly what I've been doing, and then I got into another argument last night, and got everything turned upside down again. Now we're talking again. I think she's just screwing with me.

jopperm2 · Post by **jopperm2** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 9:26 am

It's hard. You can never be sure about anything. It's a gamble, you have to calculate the trust vs risk of being screwed factor.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 9:45 am

[QUOTE=jopperm2]It's hard. You can never be sure about anything. It's a gamble, you have to calculate the trust vs risk of being screwed factor.[/QUOTE]

Well, yeah. I suppose the fact she spent her friday night talking to me instead of out with the other guy means something. Could be because she saw the pictures of my little friend I spent last week with the other night, but she's never been the type to get jealous so I don't know. Confusion abounds in my reality lately.

jopperm2 · Post by **jopperm2** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 9:53 am

I know the feeling. Isn't spring fever grand.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 10:00 am

[QUOTE=jopperm2]I know the feeling. Isn't spring fever grand.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, wonderful. I'm probably the only person wanting winter to come back. You know what though, my girl and I are separated, and Rachel and her bf are separated. I have this odd feeling I'll be seeing much, much more of Rachel soon. That comment last month of her being lost on her bf and me being her "sunshine" is really striking home now. I'm curious what she's up to.

jopperm2 · Post by **jopperm2** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 10:04 am

It's cute when women try to be sly and seduce a guy. All a girl has to do with me is ask or make a move. If I was going to sleep with her I will, if not I'll get drunk and then do it.

Edit:
Disclamer: That's when I'm single, and within certain standards. I'm not a total skank.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 10:14 am

[QUOTE=jopperm2]It's cute when women try to be sly and seduce a guy. All a girl has to do with me is ask or make a move. If I was going to sleep with her I will, if not I'll get drunk and then do it.

Edit:
Disclamer: That's when I'm single, and within certain standards. I'm not a total skank.

[/QUOTE]

Oh, I'm not like that. I have to really like the girl to do anything with them. The trouble I've gotten into with my buddies from turning down women because of their personalities at parties.

I don't know what I'd do if Rachel started actually hitting on me instead of our normal flirting. I flirt more with her than any other girl I've met, it's just for fun with us. But, yeah. It's saturday, I can go back to drinking if I want.

Darth Zenemij · Post by **Darth Zenemij** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 10:14 am

I live in Bryan Texas, a fairly small town. Pretty quite and peacfull.

jopperm2 · Post by **jopperm2** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 10:31 am

@Magrus, I'm not too bad, I just like girls that are forward.

@ DZ, where is Bryan? It sounds familiar and I have traveled Texas a bit.