Music is simply necessary to a healthy state of mind for me. My first word was "song" even though I couldn't prenounce it right..and I can't sleep without music. I'm a miserable, angry person without music I agree with playing,
constantly. I have music on all the time, to the point I don't bother with TV anymore. The TV gets in the way of my music and just had to go.
I had a girlfriend who couldn't sleep with music playing, and I can't sleep without it, SO we didn't work out.
I just LOVE music, it's rare that I find a song without lyrics that truly speaks to me, but there are a few. I just like the mix of lyrics that I can truly connect with and a piece of music that follows with it and blends well. The type of music I listen to, for the most part is simply heavy, aggressive music. Yet, if you read the lyrics, nearly every song has a meaning which I can and do identify with. When I'm sad, I listen to a song that fits with why I'm sad. When I'm angry, I listen to a song that fits that mood, happy, whatever. It really, truly is the BEST form of therapy I have dealt with. I listen to something that fits with what I'm feeling, and thinking and just ride it out on that song.
It's like the song just snags me on my emotions and carries me away until I've worked out that emotion I'm feeling and I feel fine again. If I'm happy, it draws that emotion out to make it last longer.
Some of the
best times I've had have been just hanging out and singing songs with my friends. It doesn't matter what we're doing, I got stuck in a car with no radio with my friends Kim and Rachel and all we did was sing goofy songs the whole ride we had. I can't sing worth crap but my friends can, I didn't fit in at all with them, but we still had more fun in that car singing than we did at the party we arrived at.
Music really has been my escape and my salvation I think with all of what I've been through. The only times my father and I really got along during my childhood was when we'd listen to his rock and just jam out to it. I don't know if I would have survived my childhood if music wasn't present in it. Maybe that's why I have such a strong connection to it, the only moments of abuse-free peace in my childhood were when I had music playing in my house. Might be why I can only sleep when music's playing too. Never thought of that until now.
