Join the MCOPCDAWD!

[Magrus]

*grabs oozit and punts him out the back door and right back into the woodchipper*

Lesson of the Day:

I hates doggies and none allowed.

[Brynn]

That's just an information, not a lesson! Come on, we're eager to learn, teach us!

[Magrus]

[QUOTE=Brynn]That's just an information, not a lesson! Come on, we're eager to learn, teach us![/QUOTE]

Why Brynn, I didn't know you were eager to learn. I'd be happy to teach you what I know. Where should I start?

[Locke Da'averan]

Brynnie must still be on the jaeger for making a comment like that to magrus

haven't you learned anything hunnybunny from your previous adventures into the kinkyness and depravation?

[Magrus]

That comment does open the door to a whole warehouse full of adventures doesn't it? The things that leaves open for teaching...

Maybe she was twisted at work or something.

[Locke Da'averan]

[QUOTE=Magrus]That comment does open the door to a whole warehouse full of adventures doesn't it? The things that leaves open for teaching...

Maybe she was twisted at work or something. [/QUOTE]

yes, maybe.. being busy might make her to slip a comment like that

*imagines brynn's house with a plaque "Brynnlaw, where Brynn is law" over the front door.* i'd guess that's pretty much how she lives

[Magrus]

Women tend to make comments that get them in trouble with me when they're busy. A few times when my last ex was working and I went to visit she made one of those and we ended up hiding in the basement for an hour or so afterwards. She learned to stop, think, look at me, rethink, and THEN say what she wanted to around me eventually. I will twist nearly anything said to me in a dirty manner given the opportunity to voice what I think of.

[Locke Da'averan]

[QUOTE=Magrus]Women tend to make comments that get them in trouble with me when they're busy. A few times when my last ex was working and I went to visit she made one of those and we ended up hiding in the basement for an hour or so afterwards. She learned to stop, think, look at me, rethink, and THEN say what she wanted to around me eventually. I will twist nearly anything said to me in a dirty manner given the opportunity to voice what I think of. [/QUOTE]

me too, but i don't do it around my gf since she gets irritated if she has to carefully ponder everything she says..

[Magrus]

They do get irritated with that don't they? It's their fault we think that way and everything.

[Locke Da'averan]

[QUOTE=Magrus]They do get irritated with that don't they? It's their fault we think that way and everything. [/QUOTE]

yes, well actually i have to blame my work environment. there most are a bit twisted about stuff. so one has to really choose their sayings unless intentionally say smth that can be taken many ways as a joke

the words "gimme a break/not again/excuse me for talking" come to mind when she sees me smirking at her

[Denethorn]

Hail fellow perverts. 'Tis been a while since I last graced the halls of the MCOPCDAWD. Has much changed? How's the bar going? Have we recruited any more innocent citizens for corruption?

Has anyone catalogued or the little doctrines and lessons of the day yet?

[Magrus]

I haven't no...I might need to do a new thread for that. I could though, maybe I could edit a post of mine on the first page to include all of them?

There's a lot of posts, I've been drunk a lot and forgot most of what's been said and all....umm, still need to initiate my new pet. We hazed two new members from england, they threw a fit, tried to start a new cult, we had Demo attack them. Haven't seen much of them since.

the_limey is the head bartender, although he isn't around much. Maybe Kitten should be the bartender, that could be all sorts of interesting.

[Magrus]

I've taken Denethorn's advice. I'll be placing a link to this page in my first post for easier access and I'll be posting a few posts in a row just so I can come back here and add more lesson's for organizational purposes. Odd setup, I know, but I figured I'd keep it all in this thread and after going through all 1100 some odd posts to find all of the lessons, this is the best you guys are getting.

1. Today's lesson is: If your forced to use rope, wrap a soft towel around your wrists to lessen the chaffing.
1b Yep, the rope tied to your wrist will hold the towel in place, but you won't get the rope burn feeling from it with the towel there. You'll be downy fresh.
1c Yes, but fold the towel up under the handcuffs, those tend to dig in more than ropes do.

2 Lesson of the day: Ice cubes are your friends guys. They're sitting right in your freezer and therefore ridiculously cheap, and can wonders when used properly with your lady friend.

3 Lesson of the day:
Getting girls wasted to get some is NOT a good foundation for a relationship, despite what most males happen to believe.

4 It's another day, so another lesson.

You don't need to let your parents know your having a sordid relationship with a kinky partner. You don't even have to introduce them at all. Best to leave them seperate. Partner tied down in your room, parents in the nursing home.

5 Lesson for Friday: Going to your ex to discuss relationship problems with your girlfriend should only be done over the phone or a similar situation if the girl still likes you. I'm a dumbass.

6 Lesson for Saturday: "Mrow" is a wonderful word to cause confusion. Random barking at strangers does wonders for the same thing also. Getting down on all fours to do it increases the confusion effect. It's highly encouraged. Especially at work or school.

7 Lesson for Sunday: Stairs are evil when drunk. Do NOT try to navigate a stairway while full of alcohol, no matter how much you feel like Indiana Jones at the time. Bruising occurs.

8 Lesson for Monday: Girls really do enjoy being stared at. You should make it a point to do so for at least an hour a day. Single out a girl, follow her around and stare at her. Make it a point to keep the same girl for a week or so. Remember, restraining orders really mean "I love you".

9 Lesson for Tuesday: Do NOT put your eye on the ball. When someone hits it, you'll go blind. Ignore that baseball coach, he wants to see to it you can't see better than him.

10 Lesson for Wednesday: Don't smoke crack. You'll end up like Oozit.

11 Lesson for yesterday: Fresh fruit and grenadine can cover up the taste of A LOT of rum. A balanced diet of fruit and rum is highly encouraged as you can't taste the rum but you get all the fun out of it. Go fruit power!

12 Lesson of the day: $150 budget, an empty house, and some friends and a legal ID can make for a killer party. Get drunk, have fun, party until you can't stand up anymore and do so again the next day. It's good for you.

13 Lesson of the day:
Don't meet friends of your girlfriend. When you break up with said girlfriend, they try to get with you.

14 Lesson of the week:


Never, ever allow cameras into parties that last for a week. The resulting footage of you getting drunk for days on end is frightening.

They caught me dancing with my little friend in her PJ's.

15 Lesson of the day: When you have made a stupid mistake, give someone the finger. It makes them irritated and allows you to vent your frustration on them.

16 Lesson of the day: You can fit 1/5 of SoCo into a 16 oz milkshake and it still tastes awesome. I'm currently reaping the benefits of said lesson.

17 Lesson of the day: Kinky sex with the girl you've just broken up with is NOT a good way to put things behind you. More like putting them in front of you and, Hi, back to drinking to forget now!

18 Lesson of the Day: Birth control is cheaper than child support. Remember this, even if you have to buy the stuff, your still saving money in the end.

19 Yesterday's lesson: Don't allow young women to drop you off at their friends house for the night. You won't come home for a few days.

20 Lesson of the day: Don't irritate Brynn.

21 Lesson of the day: When girl is in your house and saying she is ready for bed, don't send her home to go to bed. I'm going to drink away my stupidity now.

22 Lesson of the day: If single, do not discuss how attractive your single female friend happens to be with a mutual female friend. You get poked and prodded and cajoled into dating your friend.

23 Lesson of the Day:

The ending of the sale of liqour at 9pm and not allowing places to sell both beer and liqour at the same location is an evil and vile law. We must fight the system! Demand liqour everywhere, especially after nine at night!

24 Lesson of the Day:

Don't inform your ex girlfriend's friends you are suddenly single. You'll end up pounced on, in some way, shape or form. Most likely, it will be awkward even if it doesn't hurt.

25 Lesson of the Day:

Women are evil creatures, who break up with you, come over, wake you up to tease you and then run off to bed. They need discipline to turn such foul behavior into good. Don't be afraid to spank them.

26 Lesson of the Day:

Bite marks are sort of like a medal of exemplary service. Except, they're for while in the bedroom, not in the military. Wear them with pride.

27 Lesson of the Day:

People who have problems being cordial and with being rude are not good people to attempt a decent conversation with while drunk. Apparently, alcohol affects the part of your brain that allows you to put up with crap from other people without commenting on it. So, drink up and toss comments at everyone who's decided to be pissy with you lately for no reason at all. That, or make innapropriate comments that make young women blush when you stumble upon them. Thats fun too.

28 Lesson of the Day:

Making up with someone after a nasty argument can be all sorts of fun, but leave you ridiculously sore and in need of bandages. Remember, band-aids are a kinky man's best friend late at night.

29 Lesson for the 6th:

As discussed with Luis earlier, some things just are too messy to be done outside of the shower. Hound my honorary member for details.

30 Lesson of the Day:

Canadian whiskey is NOT a good subsitute for milk in cereal. Use raspberry vodka and fruity pebbles instead if absolutely necessary.

31 Lesson of the Day:

Don't hit on your old friend after finding out she's dating someone you grew up with, even if you have no clue who that person is anymore. It causes awkward childhood reunion's.

32 Lesson of the Day:


If your happy and you know it I hope you die. *clap clap*

33 Lesson of the Day for Tuesday the 10th:

Sometimes you must simply do what feels right, even if it doesn't feel good. Sad, I know, but sometimes it must be done for your own sanity.

34 Lesson of the Day:

An old friend told me something once. "Whenever life gets you down, grab a bottle and find a nice kitten to play with, and hope she has claws." I've found that good advice, figured I'd share that one with others.

35 Lesson of the Day:

A general rule today, take it as you will.

"When in doubt, add more fluids."

36 Lesson of the day:

If you are going to play with fire, use a booze with low alcohol content to avoid spontaneous combustion.

37 Luis's lesson of the day:

Never poke a Bee hive unless you're certain it has enough honey to overcome the pain of the bites.

38 Lesson of the Day:

Drinking vodka straight from a cup and staying drunk for 13 hours straight does NOT leave you with energy to do anything but resume drinking the next day. Awesome huh?

39 Luis's lesson of the day:

Never carry more than you can. Be a lazy bum and save your back.

40 Luis Lesson of the Day:

When you're fishing, sardines are best for bait than earthworms. And industrial bait. And artificial bait. Keeping your drunken butt out of the lake can be good for your health too.

41 (Luis secret advice: If you want to have kitten, use underwear as bait) *giggles* Not a lesson, but I just had to.

42 Lesson of the Day:

When answering the door after just waking up, be sure to wear pants. Awkward silences occur otherwise.

43 Lesson of the Day:

While scooping up one of the cute friends of your last ex may be fun and exciting at the time, it can come back to haunt you. Or rather, she can. Doing so again with another friend in the group is asking for trouble. No matter what, don't grab a fourth friend.

44 Lesson of the Day:

I hates doggies and none allowed.

Lesson 2 of the Day:

While grilling, slow cook your food. Turning it on high and rushing it ruins the food! Low temperature to slowly cook it, and then, once it's got a nice, even temperature all the way through turn it up if need be. Also. Seasonings can make or break your food. Use with caution, or just slap on whatever feels right. The latter works for me.

[Magrus]

Lessons Page 2

Well, here's page 2 for you.

45. Lesson of the Day: I think Brynn is hooked on the sauce boys...

Girls don't know what they want, so, choose for them and don't tolerate back talk.

Ok, seriously. Sometimes, you'll find a girl that really doesn't know, or simply enjoys being told what to do and dominated. If that is made clear to you, don't be afraid to take control. Be considerate, and choose what THEY would want often, but don't be afraid to take control and do what you want too if they put it to you that way. It really can be fun sometimes.

46 and 47 by Denthorn

When in doubt - go back to bed
I discovered this one when I roused myself this morning and found an inflatable sex doll outside my door. I did not have the will to enquire which of my friends had sought companionship with a polythene playmate; I prompty turned around and went back to bed.

When inebriated - go back to bottle
This one comes from the proverb "it's a lost cause"; if thou art drunk, there is little hope of recovery, one might aswell about-turn and continue getting legless

48- Lesson for the 21st:

Playing with your cute ex that's an ex because she screwed with your head, just does the same over again. No matter how fun and exciting the playing was.

49- Because I couldn't access the board at all yesterday...

Lesson for yesterday:

Respect the monkey. When properly groomed and trained it does wonders for your social life. Or was that house wife?

50- You asked for it Brynn....

Lesson of the Day:

Girls screw with your head, so don't feel bad about screwing with them.

I was dragged from my house by my little brother to go get drunk on saturday so I never got to my lesson. Here goes.

51- Lesson of the Day:

How to act when your wonderfully attractive female friend enters your house with her zipper undone.

1. Do not jump up and down.
2. Do not stare.
3. Do not giggle nervously
4. Do not pass go.
5. DO NOT offer her 200 dollars.
6. Compliment her on how wonderful she looks today.
7. And then calmly ask her if her jeans are broken after she thanks you for the compliment.


That concludes today's lesson.

52-
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 5,007
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Lesson of the Day:

A tip for being tied up. If you decide to allow your girl to tie you to a bed so she can tease you, there are a few things you should know aside from my first lesson.

1. Make sure she'll let you go when you say so.
2. Make sure she won't go doing things you'll regret or put you in need of medical attention.
3. Make sure, the bed you are tied down to has a frame that won't break or twist when you start to struggle.
4. Don't break your girlfriend's bedframe struggling!
5. Enjoy! And if parents are around, SHHH! (Courtesy of inspiratation from Grimar.)

53- Lesson of the Day:

Don't get wasted and hit on your ex that's moved all the way across a continent from you.

What you do is, hollow out a canteloupe and...gotcha.

54- Lesson of the Day:

Allowing one of your ex's to try hooking you up with another of your ex's isn't a good thing. All sorts of complications arise in that mess and it's stressful beyond mortal reasoning. It's just, just bad news, all over the place.

55- Lesson of the Day:

Getting drunk on cheap Canadian Whiskey, watching movie's and Invader Zim with your roommate and his girl can be fun. However, getting drunk and falling down the deck stairs while trying to find your blender means you've had too much to drink.

Remember, falling down deck stairs in an attempt to find your blender is the warning that you shouldn't drink anymore whiskey.

[Magrus]

Lessons Page 3

Reserved for more lessons.

[Luis Antonio]

Bah for lessons.

[Magrus]

I put yours in there too you know.

Brynn's right, I need a real lesson. You brought up a good point too Luis.

Lesson 2 of the Day:

While grilling, slow cook your food. Turning it on high and rushing it ruins the food! Low temperature to slowly cook it, and then, once it's got a nice, even temperature all the way through turn it up if need be. Also. Seasonings can make or break your food. Use with caution, or just slap on whatever feels right. The latter works for me.

[Luis Antonio]

I am the best dude. I am. You cant deny it.

[Magrus]

Only on thursdays.

[Luis Antonio]

Now there goes a Bah for you Magrus:

BAH