The Heathen Citadel

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:45 pm

[QUOTE=Magrus]Heh, well I figured. Porn stars get naked for money+Mardi Gra party with $1000 grand prize=Naked porn stars while I run the bar and collect the money. Nice set of logic aye?

[/QUOTE]
Amen brother.

[QUOTE=Magrus]
The problem is, the party is in a field, in a backwater town. Chances are, none will be interested.

[/QUOTE]
Who cares? Do the party anyway

Tower_Master · Post by **Tower_Master** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:49 pm

Because you've got to fight...for your right...

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:50 pm

Oh, the party is on no matter what. It's the question of inviting such fine specimen's of the female gender to said party from all over New York. They could win it, I know they could. My buddy made the rules so girls could team up and pool beads together so one of the group could win the prize. He did so for a reason.

2 or 3 of those girls could school the local prudish chicks and walk home with 1st, 2nd and 3rd prize and trot home with 1500 dollars or more.

Just an idle thought is all...my friend and I are still deliberating on whether or not I should be the mascot or the guy running the bar/money end of things. I've got the best business mind of his friends, but then, I'm Drunk Man. Everyone honks at me now from that party when I walk through town.

Tower_Master · Post by **Tower_Master** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:52 pm

I'd run the business end if I were you, because I imagine people would be more free with their money around a guy they knew was drunk, ergo they could magically end up getting some of it back later

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:53 pm

[QUOTE=Tower_Master]Because you've got to fight...for your right...[/QUOTE]

And for your left too. You dont know what happens whenyou fight for half of yours. Its terrible I tell you. Once when I was a kid I was split in half. I mean, I've never worked out allright afterwards, but damn, I was split in half with a rusty butter knife. I mean, I was in my right (spirits cant be shared) and my left had been stolen by a mad scientist. Every now and then my left side reverts against me. Its weird, but the medication I take everyday helps me overcoming it.

Tower_Master · Post by **Tower_Master** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:54 pm

[QUOTE=Luis Antonio]And for your left too. You dont know what happens whenyou fight for half of yours. Its terrible I tell you. Once when I was a kid I was split in half. I mean, I've never worked out allright afterwards, but damn, I was split in half with a rusty butter knife. I mean, I was in my right (spirits cant be shared) and my left had been stolen by a mad scientist. Every now and then my left side reverts against me. Its weird, but the medication I take everyday helps me overcoming it.[/QUOTE]

LMAO! So you might say your sides are now "right" and "wrong"?

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 5:57 pm

*snicker* Good one Luis.

[QUOTE=Tower_Master]I'd run the business end if I were you, because I imagine people would be more free with their money around a guy they knew was drunk, ergo they could magically end up getting some of it back later

[/QUOTE]

That's been my thought. I would do one or the other, last time I got roped into bartending with a liter of vodka in me. You cannot pour, in the dark, when you are THAT drunk. Nu-uh, no way. Lost quite a few shots of 151 on the ground when trying to serve a rush of 15 drunk guys when the kegs were tapped out.

Frankly, no one else could do the money thing better than I could. My friend trusts no one else more than me to do the job either. He's torn on doing that himself and sending me off to encourage more liqour sales though. I do have a tendency to get people to drink. Girls especially.

Tower_Master · Post by **Tower_Master** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:00 pm

Then be the money man, so as to earn more flow and therefore be able to better supply yourself in a befitting manner at a later date!

Yaay for Mag's Booze Money! And let's not forget the STFF!

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:00 pm

[QUOTE=Tower_Master]LMAO! So you might say your sides are now "right" and "wrong"?

[/QUOTE]

Actually, I'd say my right is left. I mean, its reversed, because the right side had to assume both sides, and then one of them is supressed. The left side I call Carl. I mean, he's mean, keeps punching me, and stuff, and he's the hand that hold the potato when I'm drinking. I mean, left, potato, right, beer bottle. You know, beer bottle or catchup. What matters is that Carl is faster than me to press the pause button on BG and often types quicker than me. Well, that generates problems actually. And the ladies dont believe when I say that Carl has touched them in... unproper places, and I'm slapped (have you noticed that they never slap the left side? Its always the right side, I tell you.). Damn Carl.

Tower_Master · Post by **Tower_Master** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:04 pm

LMAO! That took a minute to proces. Why does Carle enjoy holding the potato again?

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:06 pm

Ha, "Carl" huh?

Potatoe's? Double fisting Irishman!

@TM, yeah...I dunno if my friend is paying me...I do get to watch the bartender's wiggle all night in front of me though.

I think he may give me the leftover booze, or part of it after the party or something though. That, and I get in for free. Last year he charged me.

I helped set up and run the thing and never drank from the kegs.

Oh well, the other guys who "helped" didn't do anything and never payed and downed all his beer, then got the cops called on us.

That would be a GREAT time to set my flamingo's off into mating season! Put them under a spotlight around midnight, when everyone's wasted and let them make wild alka-seltzer love in the middle of the party!

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:06 pm

[QUOTE=Tower_Master]LMAO! That took a minute to proces. Why does Carle enjoy holding the potato again?[/QUOTE]

Because the ladies ask for potatoes, not for beer. See, he tries to steal my girls. But I'm a whole in a half, I mean, I'm stronger than him, I'm higher in the food chain (haha) and he's only a twisted half of me. We must share results equally (no way to half kiss a lady, even though he tries). Been 20 years since the body cutting procedure. Now I'm fine. We even go to the bathroom together without shame of each other. Try making your bathroom business with some guy looking at you. Damn, you wont even pee

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:12 pm

Ha. Too funny.

I was watching a movie the other day, Team America. Hated it, but...there was a funny part. They sent the guy in to be a spy and said "If you're captured, you're going to want to take your life. Here, you'll want this." and then handed him a hammer! I loved that.

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:15 pm

Funny? Funny because it aint with you. I mean, dont get me started on movies. I'll tell you scary movie stories

Tower_Master · Post by **Tower_Master** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:18 pm

[QUOTE=Luis Antonio]Because the ladies ask for potatoes, not for beer. See, he tries to steal my girls. But I'm a whole in a half, I mean, I'm stronger than him, I'm higher in the food chain (haha) and he's only a twisted half of me. We must share results equally (no way to half kiss a lady, even though he tries). Been 20 years since the body cutting procedure. Now I'm fine. We even go to the bathroom together without shame of each other. Try making your bathroom business with some guy looking at you. Damn, you wont even pee

[/QUOTE]

Ah yes, the eternal quest for the potato of womanhood.

Perfect logical sense.

So, if it was possible to half-kiss a lady, could you half make love to one??

*ponders*

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:23 pm

Funny just imagining you grasping a potato and a beer and hitting on women you Irish fool.

[QUOTE=Tower_Master]So, if it was possible to half-kiss a lady, could you half make love to one?? *ponders*[/QUOTE]

Indeed, it's a problem most men suffer from I've been told by my wonderful female friends.

Tower_Master · Post by **Tower_Master** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:24 pm

I thought Luis was Brazilian?

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:24 pm

Only by location.

Tower_Master · Post by **Tower_Master** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:25 pm

Ah, location, location, location...

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:25 pm

[QUOTE=Tower_Master]I thought Luis was Brazilian?

[/QUOTE]

Yes I am, but Carl is an martian alien from the Irish colony. At least his mind is.

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