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Erenor · Post by **Erenor** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:10 am

[QUOTE=Magrus]I'm hot, and tired and want to sleep until it's cold again.[/QUOTE]

That would be a seriously long nap, man.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:14 am

It'd be great. No stress, no blowing money, no whining and screaming, no work, no heat. Just blissful oblivion till halloween.

Erenor · Post by **Erenor** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:19 am

Kinda like a summer hibernation, it sounds like.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:21 am

Yep, then I'd be free to play in the snow when I woke up and everyone else was shut up inside.

Erenor · Post by **Erenor** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:24 am

Well, I'm not sure how much booze that would take to put you in a coma until winter, Mag. My guess would be a lot. Maybe an IV would help.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:35 am

Definately enough to melt my liver.

Erenor · Post by **Erenor** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:39 am

Well, I'll endure summer if that means I get to drink shakes and other cold mixed drinks with gusto for the next few months. I'd hate to hibernate and wake up with a melted liver so as not to be able to use alcohol to warm myself back up after playing in the snow.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:48 am

I just want to sleep it away, too hot. I wouldn't try drinking myself into a 4 month coma.

Cuchulain82 · Post by **Cuchulain82** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 1:14 pm

Might I recommend a gin and bitter lemon, with plenty of ice. It is beautiful on a hot day- bubbly, cold, refreshing, just what you need.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 1:22 pm

Ugh, no gin.Too sour.

Soco and coke with grilled chicken and fries at the moment.

Cuchulain82 · Post by **Cuchulain82** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 1:26 pm

SoCo is bad news. That's one of the few types of alcohol I really don't like. I'm actually on a bourbon kick right now, but as far as campfires go, it is pretty hard to beat:
(a) a case of beer,
(b) a jug of cheap wine, or
(c) whiskey that is mellow enough to drink straight or mix if so desired. For me, that does not include SoCo or Scotch but does include almost all kinds of Irish whiskey.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 1:39 pm

Rachel's family makes wine, chances are she'll snag a bottle for herself. Beer makes me throw up, only drink booze.

SoCo is great for me, it's smooth and I like to sip on mixed drinks. My favorite soda is coke, and it blends great together.

I'll try getting some more of that blue wave stuff so we can pretend it's christmans again.

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:53 am

I can't find that concert online anywhere, it's definately Creedance Clearwater Revisited, with only the Bassist and Drummer from the original band. Still if it's really a free show, I wanna go!

Plus, Kim might drive all the way to meet up with my friends and I to go see them, IF I can get her the info from Rachel. Her family's getting in the way of my fun, keeping Rachel from finding the info for me and all. Stupid gorgeous sister...

So, X-box with Josh tonight, then buying mass quantities of liqour, beer, meat and assorted food substances, and heading out to the middle of nowhere NY (clyde-savannah for you people who have been around upstate NY

) for cheap tenting and drinking fun.

I'm getting LOADED until I get dropped off on monday/tuesday.

Denethorn · Post by **Denethorn** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:01 pm

Ahh but Sir Winthorpe, why not enjoy your beverages and savour the sweet sensations rather than simply to get "smashed out of your brains" on it

Nah bugger that, do as all good drunks do - declare war on your liver

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:04 pm

My liver and I don't get along anymore. I told him to piss off and do as I say. Good for me, sucks for him. *nods*

Darth Zenemij · Post by **Darth Zenemij** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:37 pm

Oh whats going on?

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:39 pm

Leaving till monday or tuesday in about an hour. Have a good weekend everyone!

Kim if you see this, I'll be calling about that concert I'm hoping I'll see you at. You still owe me breakfast and could pay up there.

Darth Zenemij · Post by **Darth Zenemij** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:40 pm

Spam will die then. Well have fun Magrus, don't feend any wild life any booze. I also am expecting Company with in the hour.

the_limey · Post by **the_limey** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:05 pm

Since it's been a spam-free couple of days I hought I'd post the following which I found on another website ( I won't post a link because I'll get banned). It's a little out of date now but it's still hilarious- oh, and please don't hit me.

TO: The Citizens of the United States of America

RE: Revocation of your Independence

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U'will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part.
Likewise,you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z'(pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh.

You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to ****ney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents? Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.

British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "$hit".

You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are cr*p and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French; they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium.

Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager".

The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation

Rt Hon David Blunkett
Home Secretary

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 7:53 am

Just a notice, my computer went screwy over the weekend. It's running all sorts of odd and for some reason, my linksys wireless internet adapter cannot find an IP address. SO, I have no internet until that is fixed. Just figured I'd say no, I didn't die drunk in the woods, my computer may do so soon though if I cannot figure out what is wrong with it.

No more spam, no more perversion, no more drunken stories. Not until that stupid thing finds some numbers to put into my computer to make it connect!