Another thought provoking question for you

[Magrus]

Indeed, I got you, which is why I'd rather have it how it is. I mean, I'd love having kept the girl in my bed like we'd planned, but I learned too much to have made that worth it.

[Krystian]

well it's good that you'd rather have things the way they are now

[Magrus]

Here's another one...

I normally outright reject any form of "holiday" based on them being religious propoganda, political propoganda or commercialist nonsense. I have my own religion and therefore, my own ways of celebrating it, and I do so on my own time, and quietly. As in being human, I tend to have the needs of being social at times, but often, it seems as if the majority of the human population are unable to break away from the need to be with others. I know many who cannot be alone, whether through personal fears, or not wanting to be left alone with their thoughts, or whatever it may be.

Also, I have noticed that many people will be willing to toss away what they hold as important in order to change to fit in with a larger group. In standing alone, I have often witnessed people dismissing their morals and wants in order to "fit-in", often doing things that make them feel sick and dissillusioned afterwards. I have witnessed shy pacifist's bear witness to brutal beatings in order to ensure they are not on the end of their companions violent actions at a later date. I have seen people try and become addicted to many substances in order to avoid being shunned and tossed from the group of "friends" they had.

This lack of self-confidence in taking care of the self in many people, many, many people, has made me wonder about them. I know I myself am a very strange and unusual individual, crazy and psychotic some call me. I do not fit into the "normal", and I like it that way. I have refused to conform, and to deal with what has come my way because of it. I seem to have ended up at and opposite point in my life than the majority. I am happy with myself, and not with my situation around me. The reverse of that I have noticed with many people, they are happy with their situation around them, but are not comfortable or happy with who they happen to be.

So, I ask you, which is more important to you? Fitting in, having nice things and being respected for the image your present? Or self-respect and being yourself?

[Aramant]

I think it varies. For the most part, I stick to my guns and don't bother trying to "fit in". I'm wicked shy to begin with, so I don't tend to even try meeting new people. I just stick with the people I have, and I'm content to do so. When I do meet new people, it's through no effort on my part. We sort of just end up getting to know each other because of the circumstances, whatever they may be.

At the same time, however, I don't go out of my way to be an individual. I'm not out to make a point or be noticed. I don't suffer through or take part in things that conflict with my own personality or outlook, but at the same time I don't make it into an issue of "me against them". Furthermore, a number of things I do seem to coincide with what the majority does, but I do it for my own reasons. I shop at Old Navy, but that's because I like how some of their clothing looks, and I avoid clothing with the brand name splashed across it. I shop there, but I don't advertise that fact as some sort of status symbol. I go to the more popular bars in town, but only when they have cheap drink nights. I listen to some popular music, but only if I like it. Not because it's on the top 20 or whatever. And I also listen to a lot of drastically different music as well. But I don't do non-mainstream things to make a point. I do them if I like them. Same with mainstream.

[ch85us2001]

[QUOTE=Magrus]
So, I ask you, which is more important to you? Fitting in, having nice things and being respected for the image your present? Or self-respect and being yourself?[/QUOTE]
I used to be really bad about trying to fit in, but now I think Ive found my little corner of the world and no longer have to try to squeeze in to others. I generally try to fit in to a certain extent, but if it goes to far, Ill speak up/leave or whatever. I used to be really bad about trying to fit in, but now I think Ive found my little corner of the world and no longer have to try to squeeze in to others. For instance I would never try Illegal drugs to try to fit in. I can find other people that will like me for who I am. And if there planning on kicking the poop out of me/beat me up, this may sound a little arrogant, but considering that I'm 6'2, 230ish, and in pretty good shape, unless there going to stab or shoot me, Id like to see them try. I try to avoid fights, but I will fight to prevent myself or someone else get hurt physically or emotionally if there is no other option.

Of course, I do some non-mainstream things to *coughDragRacingCough* .

[Chimaera182]

I was never really one for conforming. And I always scoffed at the non-conformists, seeing how they were conforming to non-conformity. But I was an extremely unsocialable child and teenager, and then as a young adult I became more so. I used to have the urge to be out among people every once in a while, but I would always squash that and right quick; my internet buddies were enough for me. But the last few years, I've become a little more socialable. Unfortunately, with years of hiding in my dank lair, I'm completely adrift in any situation. A co-worker and a co-worker's daughter took me to some club last week, and I just could not have fun. Of course, I only had one drink that night, and I was hesitant to have more, but I know it takes a good bit of alcohol to loosen me up so I'll have some fun. And frankly, I feel a tad bit disgusted that I have to resort to booze to make me have fun; and of course the worst part is when I sober up, because that's when I hit my most unsocialable.

As for holidays... well, my parents celebrate Christmas. I think it's a nostalgia thing coupled with a romantic gift-giving thing (capitalist motives). I'm usually all for Christmas, but it's such a child's holiday, really, and this year was all about me not being a child anymore. So now I'm thinking I'm over Christmas. I've been over Thanksgiving for years, once I took a peek under the U.S.'s collective skirt. I still do the feast thing with my parents--what decent guy will turn down food?--but I think the holiday as a whole is a sham and a half. A sham with yams. And now, every year, I get to listen to my mom complain about how the Macy's Day Parade is no longer really a parade, just a bunch of cheerleaders doing stupid routines. St. Patrick's Day? A day where everyone pretends to be Irish and that means getting massively hammered; if I was more into my Irish heritage, I think I'd take offense, and after I finished a few Whiskeys, I'd show my offense. Valentine's Day? Last year, I took to calling it VD Day; amazingly enough, I took right to it this year, too (I expected to forget to call it VD Day). But now, at my job in the back room, I marked most of the Valentine's Day merchandise as VD in my own perverse humor. I doubt many people will get it or realize it was intentional, but at least whenever I look at the boxes, I'm likely to smile.

So, I ask you, which is more important to you? Fitting in, having nice things and being respected for the image your present? Or self-respect and being yourself?

Hrm. I've never been into fitting in, as I said, and I don't care if people respect me or not, and I also don't need "nice things" in order to get through the day (I'm the person who would gladly welcome women using grocery bags instead of Louis Vuitton or Fendi). But I don't have much respect for myself, but I do enjoy being myself; it's much better than being anyone else.

[dragon wench]

I concur with Aramant on this question.

I do as I do when and if I wish.
Some of the things I enjoy are mainstream, some are much more alternative. But I have never really cared, I just do things, or appreciate things, depending on my mood, how much I like them, and whether or not they work for me.

My tastes in music, art and literature run all over the place. As far as lifestyle choices go, I tend to visit (reputable) non mainstream health professionals, but my diet can range from steak to vegetarian food, and everywhere in between

I think people who run about pretending to be rebels just for the sake thereof are idiots

Particularly irritating are people who unquestioningly listen to Indy music....
Yet, when an Indy band becomes popular, those same morons automatically stop listening to the band.. because oh horror of horrors.. somebody somewhere might think they are "mainstream."

[Aramant]

[QUOTE=dragon wench]I concur with Aramant on this question.[/QUOTE]

Next step: conquer with Aramant.

[Magrus]

As I've neglected to replying to each post after it's made do to lazyness and spouting nonsense too often, I'll do one group one, since they all tend to follow the same line of thought so far.

I have no problem with people being themselves, in fact, I fit somewhat in many groups. You can somewhat slot me into the goth, grunge, metal-head, drunk, dork, nerd and freak groups. Which means, I can hang out with said people, so long as they aren't the hardcore elitists. Said people tend to be the ones I'm speaking of above. They people who try so very hard to fit a certain image, and scorn those who do not fit it. It is ridiculous, and as DW mentioned, once someone steps outside of what they view as "cool", they suddenly drop their interest in that thing/person.

I tend to rebel against people being something they aren't. I can't stand it. I don't care who you are, so long as you are being yourself. I may not like you because of who you are, but at least you happen to be honest and I can respect you for it.

Next step: conquer with Aramant.

Bad things! :speech:

[Cuchulain82]

I think that people get too wrapped up in definitions they have constructed of their personality- stoner, metalhead, preppie, mother, overachiever... whatever. In my experience, all too often people do things or act in a certain way because they think they should based on their image, not who they are. It is a ocnfusing idea, but it is kind of like the buddhist/hindu idea of ego, or the Khunian idea of a paradigm- people get wrapped up in what they percieve their limits to be, and get stuck in that mode. Personally, I can relate to a genuine person much easier than I can someone who tries to fit into a mode, consciously or otherwise.