The HBI - Heathen Bureau of Investigation

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:14 pm

Do not confess, they have no eye witnesses as far as I know at the moment, no DNA evidence, and no murder weapon that relates to you. If they have issued a warrant, turn yourself in, that way you wo'nt lok suspicious, if not, live youy daily life as normal, do not do anything out of the ordinary, like say take an early vacation to the states.

Ravager · Post by **Ravager** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:15 pm

Not to mention chu's confession to the crime. That has to work in my favour.

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:16 pm

Normally it would. But in this case......have you heard the phrase "remanded for psychiatric reports" ?

Ravager · Post by **Ravager** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:18 pm

Since when did that happen?

Anyway, all confessions have to be taken seriously, you can't just cover up the evidence!

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:21 pm

So the nut-case did it what more is to it, my client is innocent. However if they do insist on charging my client with the Murder of Mr. Bunn A. then another piece of evidenc has coem to light that causes more than reasonable doubt. Chu turned over the murder weapon, with dried blood that matches Mr. Bunn A., it will be interesting for them to explain how the delusion homocidal maniac obtained this after you allegedly killed him. Unless as you previously hinted to in a previous post, you hired him to fulfill your desires in ways that are not approved of by society today, that would be another case altogether.

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:21 pm

You think Chu will impress the judge with his reliability? You think he can stick to one story for the length of a trial. *shakes head pityingly* Confession evidence is notoriously suspect. In this case......

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:26 pm

There is still the matter of the murder weapon in his possesion, it is what they cal a smoking gun, or a smoking bow as it were.

Ravager · Post by **Ravager** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:26 pm

[QUOTE=Phreddie]Unless as you previously hinted to in a previous post, you hired him to fulfill your desires in ways that are not approved of by society today, that would be another case altogether.[/QUOTE]

That was a joke! I was kidding!
That or it was a bribe to stop chu turning on me.
Whatever works best.

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:28 pm

At this point I will withdraw to respect client/lawyer confidentiality. (You should watch that, it's quite important) Good night, gentlemen

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:29 pm

they will never go with the hah! just kidding story, its best to stay with the bribe, although you may be charged with bribery, you shouldnt be pinned for the murder, while chu takes a double whammy being charged with the murder and fro accepting a bribe.

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:30 pm

[QUOTE=Fiona]At this point I will withdraw to respect client/lawyer confidentiality. (You should watch that, it's quite important) Good night, gentlemen[/QUOTE]
G'night Gov'ness!

Ravager · Post by **Ravager** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:31 pm

Night, Fiona.

@Phreddie, what are the punishments around here?
And any more advice before I leave (which shouldn't be too long now)?

Tower_Master · Post by **Tower_Master** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 9:19 pm

Oye, Lu! When did we get our own Bureau, mate? Do we at least get those nifty decoder rings you promised Brynn and me when we first joined the Heathens, then?

CM · Post by CM » Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:24 pm

So am i still on trial or am i a free man?

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:53 pm

You were on trial? What happened, did they set a limit on how much back hair someone could legally grow?

CM · Post by CM » Sun Nov 06, 2005 12:13 am

lol. No they limited the amount of trouble i could cause.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 12:42 am

I recommend you move to quell this rebellious spirit quickly, lest it grow too ambitious and the rabble begin demanding such bothersome things as free speech and public executions....although that second one might be fun....

CM · Post by CM » Sun Nov 06, 2005 1:36 am

ohh i already kill for fun. lets make it a public witch hunt.

Rondoor · Post by **Rondoor** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 3:30 am

So if Ravager is truly innocent then who did it? Who murdered “BUNN-AY” when the murder weapon was the famous arrow & bow combination?

So all I went to the “SYM Photo Album (photos only, please)” in order to get real life picture of him in order to produce Wanted for Dead or Alive poster. But on the page 19 Brynn had posted picture of her bow. But when I clicked the link picture didn’t exist anymore. Was it removed due to bloodstains? Possibly, yes.

So Ravager could innocent and that would mean that he might have not committed this foul crime! So it could have been Brynn!

But what could have been Brynn’s motive for this crime?

Personally I would suspect the good old love-triangle where Brynn was jealous for Bunn-ay’s and Ravagers relationship and wanted to have Bunn-ay all for herself. So she jumped behind trash can and waited to Ravager and Bunn-ay to arrive. Surely she waited for them hours as the dead fish in the trash bombarded her nose with an awful stench. So when those two finally arrived, Brynn’s head was severely damaged due to that stench and accidentally shot Bynn-ay instead of Ravager. When she realised what she had done she hid the evidence and framed Ravager as murderer!

So the true criminal in this case is the rotten fish in the trash can.

PS Anyway on that same topic there is picture of Brynn and her boyfriend. I know that this might sound quite odd but which one is which?

…

BANANAS!

It is wonderful fruit and it has been used as long as there have been SPAM forums.

But bananas have quite long history behind them as even ancient Egyptian Pharaohs used banana shaped hats and buried themselves inside pyramids, which were never truly finished as the present architecture technology wasn’t able to build gigantic bananas from stone. Surely world would be lot different if they would have been able to do it.

We shouldn’t also forget that the banana was the first plant that man used for farming.

I would also like to remind that along with various scientists believe that the big sphinx in Egypt didn’t originally have nose but instead of it there was a banana. Sadly it has fallen down ages ago and when the Greeks finally arrived to Egypt the presumed that it had had a nose and on their sphinx statues there is a nose, which also explains the false image that most westerners have about the true appearance of sphinx’s nose.

But later bananas were used as tool of democracy in the ancient Greek as the free men voted they ate one banana first and carved their vote in the banana’s peel. After that had happened peels were counted and act of democracy happened. Nowadays we use paper instead of peels, but 90% of material used in paper is from banana.
Bananas were also reason why Roman Empire’s legions were so good at fighting. Just image picture when two armies meet and as they are charging against each other legions throw banana peels and barbarian army finds it lying on the ground. Army which is on its back doesn’t win wars. Then one of world’s most beautiful woman used rotten peels to hide herself and this way met the famous general Julius Cesar, though this meeting meant the end of democratic Rome but most historians still consider it to be one the most romantic meetings on history of mankind.

Sadly most banana plants were destroyed by the Black Death and caused 1/3 of European population to die in hunger during years 1347-1350.

European banana production rate on certain areas returned back to normal on early 20century. Though 1/3 of banana plantations were commonly destroyed those recovered quite quickly.

On our present day bananas have become our primary source of energy as most of cars run with banana oil and most plastic items are produced from by-banana products. Certain three hugging hippies consider that it would be more environmentally friendly to start using oil and coal instead of bananas. But that change would be too costly thing to do at the present moment as banana stock prices are surprisingly low due to Afghanistan’s banana fields.

To be continued sometime later and I will also post almost photographical evidence of that earlier matter. But for now it is time for ANIME!

PS Albert Einstein is involved because of his formula E=MC2.

E = Energy produced by bananas.
= = Funny thing.
M = It involves bananas and monkeys.
C = High toxic substitutes.
2 = It is a number.

But when machine which fulfils this formula it produces water, lot’s of water to be precise.

So it could be that COMM is trying to arm itself with towels which are considered to be most useful items in know world or at least that is what Douglas Adams claims.

So it would be recommended that the Heathens would arm themselves with forks. (It will be explained later.)
…

dj_venom · Post by **dj_venom** » Sun Nov 06, 2005 3:34 am

That was a rather insightful and interesting post...

*backs away slowly*