A Wife's Revenge...

Ravager · Post by **Ravager** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 4:11 pm

Here's a good story...with such a happy ending.

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss
for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack every single thing in the house to take to their new home, including light bulbs and the curtain rods.

So, does anyone have any good stories to add to this one?
Or just appreciation of the topic?

slade · Post by **slade** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 4:19 pm

That was a good story....showing us how a woman always outsmarts man....true story

Lasher · Post by **Lasher** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 7:12 pm

Ahh... Nothing to add, but... I'f that happened to me, I'd have torched the place and collected some insurance money... It makes sense to me!

Kipi · Post by **Kipi** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 2:48 am

LMAO!!!!!
:laugh::laugh:

Rav, that one was perfect!!

:laugh:

Where did you hear this one??

dj_venom · Post by **dj_venom** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:35 am

Classic.

There's nothing else to say.

Chimaera182 · Post by **Chimaera182** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 6:36 pm

Yes, that was great. But unlike slade, I believe a man can be just as chicanerous as a woman. We might just be too lazy to implement it is all.

Athena · Post by **Athena** » Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:04 pm

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.":devil:

Bel Al · Post by **Bel Al** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 8:26 am

Another Similar Story (True Too)

There was this couple living together that wer breaking up. He work out of town for a week and she was supposed to move out while he was gone, He came back everything seemd to be in order; nothing stolen or vandalized. It looked like eveything was cool. Until he found the phone off the hook. He picked up the phone found out she had called time and tempature in Tokyo Japan!

dj_venom · Post by **dj_venom** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 8:31 am

Hahaha, that's so cruel it's funny.

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 3:02 pm

Rav, i think DW posted this story a while ago, not sure but it does look familiar, any way...

... :laugh: :laugh:
Thats why you have dogs, they smell out the odor before it becomes overwhelming, and either eat it, or you can see where they are trying to get too it, and find the odors source, then eat it yourself.

dj_venom · Post by **dj_venom** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 7:13 pm

No, Rav posted this a while ago. Look at the date, you'll see it's quite old.

But this guy had a funny thing to add, so bump away I say.

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 7:20 pm

[QUOTE=Bel Al]There was this couple living together that wer breaking up. He work out of town for a week and she was supposed to move out while he was gone, He came back everything seemd to be in order; nothing stolen or vandalized. It looked like eveything was cool. Until he found the phone off the hook. He picked up the phone found out she had called time and tempature in Tokyo Japan![/QUOTE]

That's excellent. Another show that men should be under woman's feet.

TonyMontana1638 · Post by **TonyMontana1638** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 7:27 pm

[QUOTE=Hill-Shatar]That's excellent. Another show that men should be under woman's feet.

[/QUOTE]

Man Hill, I have never met a man in my life who pushes so hard for female dominance...

Both of those stories were excellent... Thank god I'm never going to break up with my girlfriend

... Ummm, right?... RIGHT?!

:speech:

*begins to cry*

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 7:28 pm

What no stories showing how the men annoyed the womenfolk in clever ways? no ingenious shinanegans of men outsmarting women?
I feel like I surface don the worng side of the gene pool.

Ravager · Post by **Ravager** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 7:31 pm

I did actually give permission in my first post to add other good stories, so it's nice to see someone took it up.

Oh, I think I got the story via a relative.

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 5:24 pm

Oh, I think I got the story via a relative.

English woman. They scare me sometimes.

Athena · Post by **Athena** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 5:27 pm

*turns up my nose and struts by* oh, hi Hill.

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/spezi ... hip2_1.gif (I couldn't help it!)

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 6:10 pm

[QUOTE=Athena]*turns up my nose and struts by* oh, hi Hill.

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/spezi ... hip2_1.gif (I couldn't help it!)[/QUOTE]

lol, I'm on my toes now.

Don't tell me your drunk already!

I only drink after eight. It's a failing.

Athena · Post by **Athena** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 6:15 pm

*stumbles and laughs*
Well I wouldn't want to be a bad influence...so, YES *:devil:

So whut if I am...*raises an eyebrow*
by the way.. there you are! http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/spezi ... hip2_1.gif

Hill-Shatar · Post by **Hill-Shatar** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 6:18 pm

[QUOTE=Athena]*stumbles and laughs*
Well I wouldn't want to be a bad influence...so, YES *:devil:

So whut if I am...*raises an eyebrow*
by the way.. there you are!
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/spezi ... hip2_1.gif[/QUOTE]

*throws pillow*