In Search of the Holy Spam

[Athena]

Where to next

"We need to find the Flamer who cursed me and put an end to this nonsence! Before something bad happens" Athena answered abruptly. She did not know how exactally how they would do this.
"Here, Figure, Magnus." she calmly took the two male horses and led them over to a grassy area, tying them to some trees. She continued; "If we ride to the Dark Flames tent someone there will point us in the right direction." She took the bag of granola from her robe pocket and put a quarter of its contents on the ground in front of Figure and a quarter of it in front of Magnus. "Eat and rest while you can, boys" They both snorted in satisfaction.
"How do you expect to get there undetected?" Slade asked.
"Good point. Hmph. Let's gut up that boar there so we can concentrate on a good plan, instead of a good meal, shall we?" She snagged the boar Slade brought, tied it up by the leg and had at it with her hunting knife. Slade thought she looked adept to slicing hides as he glanced at Athena gutting the boar, also remembering her cutting the goblin in the shrine. She gave the Falcon Kirara some scraps then rinsing the blood off her hands with a bit of water. Slade had fashioned a cooking surface out of some flat stone from around, and they cooked.

[Oscuro_Sol]

OS scowled as she finally reached him, her brow sweaty.

"What do you want, chu?!"

[ch85us2001]

Chu was happy, as OS had arrived.
"Well, Maggy is trying to kill me, and I know you wouldn't want that to happen to me." He said as he kissed her ear.
"You know Kitten, we have a long journey ahead of us, and I would be honored to have such a fair maiden with me. What do you say?" . . .

[Oscuro_Sol]

OS shied away as Chu moved up to her.
"Uhmm, Maggy? Why, what's up with him?" she asked.
She suddenly felt foolish, and fat, in her leather pants.
"Fair maiden? You're mocking me! Why are you always so mean!?" And OS burst into tears.

[ch85us2001]

"No, I really think your beautiful." Chu gazed dreamily into OS' eyes. "And Hey, the pants don't hurt the old Bod' either," He said with a sly wink.
"Mag has gone crazy, I think due to some kind of booze induced euphoria. Those Potatoes hit hard I tell ya!!!!!!!!" . . .

[Oscuro_Sol]

"You're lying!" OS sobbed, her bottom lip thrust out. "Old bod? You think I look old now?"
She sniffed, then sucked on her burnt finger.
"And that doesn't even sound like Mag's acting any differently!"

[Ravager]

Taking orders off the Were-Capra just wasn't as fun as it appeared...not that it ever appeared as fun. Time to slip away and leave these fools to their fate of chasing after their collective tails.
Consulting the PDA of Plot Revealing, he determined something of greater interest to him. It might be some journey but then what villain is without gadgets and general knick-knacks?
Using the patented Inflatable technology (all rights reserved) he set up an inflatble car. Sure it had it's weaknesses and didn't quite manage 70mph...especially over this groun, but it was a good start. Inflatble Tech could be used for virtually anything, but then no-one was gooing to hold of this stuff. It also utilises incredible compression to get down to a fraction of the expanded sive and weighs as much as a helium balloon.
Using the GPS Locator he set off in the direction of the Dark Flames Tent leaving the hopeless Party of the Goat far behind and making good speed for the Tent. After a relatively short time, it was time to deflate the car...after all, this was his tech, no-one elses and he'd be damned if he'd let anyone else know about it yet.
Seeing a campfire, he approached it cautiously, not certain whether this was a fire lit by the indigineous folk or by another stranger such as he.

[Fiona]

Luis stopped drooling on the cardboard tree and looked around him. He was alone. Icarus had disappeared! The familiar felt his anxiety rise; he was not supposed to be separated from Icarus. How could this have happened? One part of him, the bound part, was very worried indeed. But another part of his mind was pleased. Excited, even. If Ik could abandon him like this, maybe he could free himself. Not that he wanted to, of course. He adored Ik. But his love would be be worth more if he had a choice. At least he thought it would. How could he be sure? He'd have to read a book. He'd get Ik to buy him one. Ik had once told him a story about a lot of dalmations. Even though it was mostly about dogs Luis loved that story. And it meant that Ik could read, probably. Ik could read another book to him once he persuaded him to buy it. Luis was thrilled by the prospect.

What to do next? Obviously he should find Ik. He was lonely. And it was wrong for them to be parted. Finding Ik was the important thing. It was the only important thing. Wasn't it? He seemed to remember other things used to be important. But they weren't now. No. He definitely had to find Ik.

Ik was smart but not very predictable. It was hard to guess where he might be. In cat form Luis always knew,but he was mostly human at the moment and his senses were blunt. Still he felt a definite pull toward the back of the church. Ik must be there. Luis set off in that direction. He had a minor setback when he became distracted by fluttering bats and his cat nature caused him to drop into a hunting crouch. But he quickly pulled himself together. He smiled. That was quite an attention span he had developed. Luis felt he was doing very well.

Luis reached the trapdoor and dropped into the dark maze below the church. Even his night vision (rather good for obvious reasons) could see nothing in the lightless space. As he pushed on he stumbled over something quite big. Recovering his balance he heard a pathetic mewling. I sounded for all the world like kittens. And the smell reinforced that impression. Someone was not changing the newspaper enough. Luis felt around him carefully. He liked kittens. And it would be nice to have some company till he found Ik.

As he groped about his fingers hit on what seemed to be a grill and as he explored further it became obvious it was a very large cage indeed. The noise increased. There must be lots of kittens in the cage. Luis thought this was strange. He thought about it. He had heard of something like this before. In Ik's story. It wasn't a good bit. It was dangerous. Luis' mouth became dry as he stared in to the darkness. Cruella de Ville would surely appear at any moment.

After a short time Luis relaxed. That was a completely different story. She only liked dalmations, not kittens. There was no need to worry. But what if she had a sister who liked kittens? Things like that sometimes ran in families, did they not? Luis became frightened again. He was no coward, though. He knew what to do. Luis opened the cage and the kittens swarmed out and scattered in all directions. Not one stayed to keep him company! He was disappointed. Still, he was sure Ik would be pleased with him and he hurried on through the darkness to tell Icarus what he had done. Luis liked it when Ik was pleased.

[ik911]

Now the music had stopped, he could hear the sound of something sucking and blowing air. Time for some Sherlock Holmes theory of exclusion. What can't suck and blow air like that?

-Fishes. That was a relief. It meant no Aegis, ergo no slapping. Icarus made a little relief-dance. Fishslapping was not his thing.
-Comfi chairs. That was a pity. He hadn't had a lot of comfort since he got up this morning.

Icarus hated it when his chosen tactic didn't appear to work. This was such an occasion. He was still busy hating when something softly bumped into his ankle. Something that purred. That meant it couldn't be fishes and comfi chairs once more. Sherlock Holmes disappointed him for the second time in two minutes.

He picked up the source. It was furry and tiny. Aha, a kitten. He had yet to meet a smart, intelligent kitten.

"Hey, little kitten, do you know what makes the sucking and blowing noises?" The kitten did not answer. "What use are you then, if you can't anwer me that?" He put the kitten back where it came from. "You prove your stereotype once more. You disappoint your species, little kitten."

Now, where did the sound come from? He put off his cap to hear better. Wow, he could hear it really well now. He could even hear the kitten licking it's paw and a spider devouring a fly somewhere near him.

He followed the most intruiging sound: the sucking and blowing of air. After a few turns and a door, he came upon a large kettle with a fire under it and a pair of bellows. There was light there. That was great.

Inside the kettle was a dark substance. He grabbed a spoon that was lying around and gently removed a kitten from his shoe, before tasting a bit of the black paste. Didn't taste that bad. In fact, it tasted good. He sat down on a chair in the room, near the fire. Hmmm, that was a good chair. It was the best chair he had ever sat on. The small kitten jumped on his lap. It looked so silly as it was chasing it's on tail. He laughed loudly. He fully enjoyed the warmth from the fire and the fine carpet on the wall. Icarus had never realized a warm fire or a fine carpet could be so nice. Ahhh, this was living.

[Luis Antonio]

As the kittens went away, spreading around the corridors, leaving Luis in the silence that preceeded great aprehension, something happened.

It was not something easy to predict or to reproduce, and many mages tried to analize this fact afterwards without success, specially due to the absence of more complex observations of the fact itself. The thing is that the link that existed between Luis and Icarus was reduced for a while, beggining to wear thin, thinner to the point of rupture, without, however, rupturing. They had been friends once, and that could be the reason. Luis loved Icarus too, in a strange way, and maybe it was another reason. But Luis suddenly fell, and entered some kind of visions sequence, that often happened when he had all his powers, and another link, who had been severed, seemed to be formed again.

As the tissues of magic that bounded a familiar to his owner tied up again, Luis's soul started to fly around the globe in magnificient speed to the one place he should have never forgot how to go to, but he did, and even though he sought the memories of that place in his mind he could barely see the stony walls again.

It was the Heathen Citadel.

A ruin, however. The palisade outside broken, the crops destroyed, the lake drained, the magnificient towers to the ground. However, as his soul flew over the wreckage of the HC, she found a place to enter, and in a flash Luis was under the earth, on a safe place:

The Dungeons.

There, he felt a strong, very strong energy binding a large soul to his body. He could see, he could see it again.

A fountain, with a bottle on top, perfect, clean, with a familiar scent:

Tequila.

He knew what was that now: That was the Neverending Tequila Bottle, but how come it was still there? He remembered it being destroyed during the battle...

Yes, there was a battle. He felt his heart being trespassed by a knife, and a cold fear growing inside his heart, when the stench of chicken tandoori and sandals used for a long time in the desert reached his nose, and he remembered a nice blade falling to the ground and boucing once, twice, thrice before stopping to shine, her magic extinct along with the banishment of his soul, and he was Luis Antonio, once the Heathen General, the heathens themselves proud people, fond of lovemaking, drinking, eating and gathering culture.

In this moment, when he saw his death once again, a yellow eye, a known yellow eye, surrounded by black leather, looked at him from behind the fountain, once again the dominating landscape, and that yellow iris opened wider and closed itself. They were bound again. Bound. Linked to each other. She felt he had no soul left, he knewed. But her faith on him was yet unmatched. He thought "come, we need to fight, find me, I'm weak".

Next, a draconic scream of rage created an earthquake, and the remainings of the Heathen Citadel opened into a burst of tons of muscle beating the rock from the heart of the earth. A black projectile launched itself into the air, strong, swift, powerfull, in search of her master.

"Yes, master. Your wish is my command."

T'salansnay was comming. His last drop of consciousness and vision gave up existance, and he fell on the stone floor, in coma.

Icarus heard a distant scream as well. He was linked to Luis. Even though he never liked Luis much. But he heard it, and he felt a cold shiver from his feet to his head, in waves of fear. But afterwards it was a nice sensation. He knew, however, he should seek Luis, for something had happened.

Fiona and DW were still far away. They may have felt the strong magic linking if they werent busy trying to figure out what to do next, when a kitten suddenly appeared, causing the hive to be stirred, and the kitten killers started to run for their lives, cause the doom was there, the doom, the kittens.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, however, noticed that there was a bunn-ay nearby, looking everything, analizing things. He felt the magic. He would tell that to someone. Soon.

[ik911]

Luis stumbled into the room while Icarus was cuddling the kitten. He quickly put it back on the floor, slightly emberrased for no apparent reason. It was his familiar, why should he?

Luis looked bad, mud on his face, stumbling words. Icarus analyzed the words.

"Kitten", was one of his stumblings. No difficulties there.
"Doom", that was rather odd. What did the kittens have to do with that?
"T'salansnay", what word was that? Icarus looked it up in his dictionary. Luis probably meant 'Tsa'lynisha', the Heathen Citadel Dragon. With some imagination, he could see the link with "Doom" there, yet the dragon wasn't that evil...
"Tandoori", the dish of gods. Could also be linked to "Doom", but the dragon didn't like tandoori. It preferably ate CM.
"Tequila". Poor Luis. There was only black goo here.
The last word in the series was "Magic", just before he fell over and asleep.

Icarus tried to connect those. Luis had no tequila here nor magic nor Tsa'lynisha. There was a kitten here, but no doom or tandoori. If he hadn't mentioned kitten, it would be a list of things that weren't here.

The fact that he mentioned doom should probably worry Icarus, but for some reason he couldn't... What was that black stuff? He had to find a jar and take some of it with them. For research, ofcourse.

[Luis Antonio]

Icarus, playing safe as usual, had a jar where to store the black goo. And so he did. He cleansed Lu's face, who kept staring blankly at the ceiling, but breathing.

"Will I have to carry you?" he thought. "Damn, he's my Familiar, he has to carry me."

Somewhere else, when this thought occoured to him, the gods sensed the awakening of Tsa, and the spammers started to remember the Heathen Citadel and all its promises. The dragon was flying lost now, with the link with its master almost severed (he was uncounscious, staring blankly at a ceiling, remember?). Tsa decided, then, to fly above the clouds during the nights and find shelter during the days, to avoid unwished God Worshippers seeing her. She was weak now, and she felt as if she couldnt dragon breath again, so her next step was to go and look for the next best thing than enemy humans: Sheep.

But where to find sheep?

Some options came to her mind:

Near Fas the Haftershave.
Near Weasel.
Near Bloodstalker.
Near her Master.
Near the farmlands!!! There are farmlands to the east. Well, they used to be there. Fas is too weird, Weasel too powerfull, Bloodstalker had a pack of wolves (or so it has been said) and the Master was nowhere to be found, and couldnt just summon her, she knewed.

So, she aimed east.

Once again, at the surroundings of the Heathen Citadel, a Bunn-ay was looking for the scene, with its red eye fixed on the unsuspecting dragon (he never liked bunny stew). The rabbit's long fur waved in the wind, graciously, but the eyes burned with the very fires of hell.

Someone would get news soon, interesting news.

[dj_venom]

They were setting up camp for the night. Suddenly, a bright light pierced through Venom's vision, leaving him sprawled on the ground. Shaking his head, he wondered what could have possibly caused that. Collecting some firewood, it happened again, this time he caught some visions of shadowy creatures, and a distorted landscape appeared. Once again, it disppeared as quick as it had arrived. Now Venom was beginning to get worried, because he had not even begun to drink yet.

Having settled down for the night, Venom heard the twig breaking. Thinking to himself, this must be something important, he rose quietly. A figure emerged from Ravager's tent, and headed off. Following at quite a distance, he watched as a car grew out of nowhere, and sped off. "I told them he would abandon us. No wait, I meant to tell them." Turning to go back to sleep, Venom spotted an eerie glow coming from the distance. Walking towards the glow, Venom's headache began to lessen, and his mind grew clear. A cracking boom, and Venom was gone.

Waking up, Venom knew instantly something was wrong. First of all, he had no tent. Second of all, he had no companions. Third of all, the ground had turned blue. Surveying the landscape, Venom noticed that this whole place had an eerie glow. Not only that, the trees seemed bent and crooked, then water black and corrupt, and the wildlife, well they would be best described as monsters. Coming towards him was a spiny, four-legged creature. Grabbing a nearby rock, Venom hurled it with all his strength, causing the creatute to drop to the ground after the rock collided with its skull.

Hoisting his proverbial bag onto his shoulder, Venom began walking, not sure rwhere he was going, or where he wanted to go. After walking for a few steps, Venom began to become dizzy. The world began shaking, and his vision became blurred. With popping noise, Venom opened his eyes to see he was back where he came from. Only he was several kilometres from the campsite, however he only walked a few metres to leave it the first time. With all these strange experiences, Venom began to ponder the implications.

[Fiona]

Fiona was relieved at DW’s arrival, and she was glad to have her fiddle. The cleric’s attention was now wholly focussed on the Mage and the leprechaun, and Fiona made sure that the music was not very interesting so they would continue to ignore her.

She watched curiously as the odd figure sparred with DW. Something was not right here. The cleric, whom she assumed to be the bishop, had looked briefly uneasy when she had asked about his beliefs, but there was little sign of that now. Yet there was something odd about the way he and Oran Mor were with each other. The leprechaun looked frankly terrified. Surely it was strange that the cleric was focussed on Oran Mor rather than the indisputably more attractive mage? It didn’t seem to fit her picture of him, such as it was. Fiona waited until DW had once more captured his attention.

While DW continued her conversation Fiona moved quietly towards Oran Mor. He cringed but followed her when she motioned him out of earshot. She intended to find out what he knew, and trusted that DW would keep the bishop distracted for a time. But this was not to be. The bishop was surprisingly alert and he noticed her ploy at once. This was strange. He should have been more…interested…. in DW than he was. She was a very attractive mage, after all. Maybe his religion made a difference? The explanation did not satisfy Fiona. He was a man first! Yet he moved away from DW very abruptly and approached Oran Mor. There would be no chance of a private word with the leprechaun now.

Oran Mor drew himself up and faced the bishop. You had to hand it to him. He was not having an easy day, but there was a certain amount of courage there. It occurred to Fiona that the bishop had mistaken Oran Mor for a choir boy at first. That was strange. If Oran Mor had been cursed by the bishop, he would surely know him. It was true the light was not good, but still….. maybe the leprechaun was frightened for some other reason? Fiona was deeply uneasy by now. What had Ik said? Something about an imposter? She kept her expression neutral and watched the scene with interest.

“It is the role of the church to bring comfort to the afflicted, my son. Though in your case the *affliction* may be welcome? Your path to virtue is free of certain *obstacles*, if I am not mistaken. I rejoice in the choice you have made” The bishop was definitely smirking.

Oran Mor looked at him bleakly for a time. “Where is the merit in resisting temptation in these circumstances? Of course I have “knowledge” which I could share with the company, hard won “knowledge”. You, “bishop”, are aware of what I can reveal. Perhaps it is only fair if the ladies are also informed? Truth is another virtue and may help balance my soul’s account?” Oran Mor said this quite boldly, and Fiona noticed the odd emphasis on some of the words and a momentary hesitation in the Bishop before he replied.

“Such “knowledge” is dangerous for the unprepared soul, as you must know. It is a sin to inform the uninitiated. They will not be able to “accept” the truth and the consequences would be very grave. But I can help you. The “deformation” you suffer can be lifted, if you will, and the narrow way will again be as hard for you as for all sons of Adam”
“Done” said Oran Mor, to Fiona’s suprise

[Luis Antonio]

Icarus, then, carried Luis Antonio, cursing through the corridors, and making enough noise to wake up a Beholder a million miles away. However, all the beholders a million miles away were distracted by a sudden variation on the magical patterns on the area.

The music on the cathedral nearby had nearly stopped, all Icarus could hear was his footsteps, some voices in the distance, and Luis's groan when he suddenly woke up.

"Master, she comes"
"Who comes, Luis?"
"It is Tsa, Master, she comes. She's linked to me now, I felt the bonds tightening again"
"Its impossible, fool, you've been cursed with a souless body curse, and a Godly curse."
"But..."
"Fool! You made me carry you this long cause of a dream? And a silly one?"
"Sorry, master".

Icarus was a thinking it to be a strange thing. Luis was calling him master. It was not normal. But he hadnt felt the magical waves running, nor he had the dream. Nor he would see the Dragon comming to the fields, and eating kilos of goats to replenish her energies.

[Panned]

Reply

’Its spring’s first blue sky’; comment said by a bored looking man holding his empty tea cup. It had been years since even a single word had been said inside the walls of the Hand. It came as total surprise, a non expected answer; it shook the very boundaries of sanity. Small sparks lighted up in the man’s eyes as he sought s the sword that had been nailing his body into his chair. Slowly a scream grew louder and louder – was that man nothing more than just a mere beast? It couldn’t be told from the scream of his, his legs couldn’t hold and he collapsed to the floor and coughed blood.

Raised eyebrow, pitiful look towards the man; what else could be expected from one’s better side? Small gentle voice replied; ‘No, it is not the first blue sky, however, I am sure you are about to argue with me about it’. It was all that was required, it was all that would be needed; the man rose and sat back to his chair. Looking at the girl sitting next to him his mind was running, reddish clean hair, little horns, typical demon tail, generally her pose was simply to give a good first expression, crossed legs and straight back, she was apparently educated in one those more respected universities. But it was her eyes that gave shivers to him; unlike his own eyes - hers were perfectly blue.

An reply; if only to avoid the - magical limit of thirty seconds of silence - coming full before the other side has to say something. ‘Yes there have been sunny days before this day. And there have been warm days too. But today is somewhat more special than those days earlier days because today; most of the snow has melted away and we can notice that spring flowers are starting to bloom. So wouldn’t it be the spring’s first blue sky?’ Small smile became surprisingly noticeable on her face before she replied; ‘Welcome back little Mockingbird.’ It was a lie or so he though at first, perhaps this situation was already lived too many times that the illusion of emotions was becoming more and more apparent.

‘It is pleasant to meet you again Alexandra.’
‘Oh you don’t need to be so formal; everybody calls me as Closet Devil these days. And I am not going to call you as Karl-Anton either – Mocking bird has a lot better ring in it.’

Disappointed at his own control over his body - he had no other choice than admit that he was smiling. Not because of it could benefit himself in someway, not to make her feel more pleasant, not because he had come up with a cunning new scheme, he was just smiling and thinking how much he hated himself for not being in control of his own body. She was smiling back and the odd pair started talk about the weather. The talk was not about how it was at the moment, or why the weather was like that at the moment. It was neither about what it could be tomorrow; did they really even talk about the weather? Their discussion was more about how they liked it and happily noticed to disagree with one other. The day passed.

...

It is spring. There’s no denial to that. But what has the spring brought? White Wagtails are wagging their tails and generally speaking - keeping a one hell of a racket. I should be pleased to see and hear them - he thought – it is just this feeling in my guts. This is certainly the last time I eat anything of her cooking. Things are not going to stay above board and hopefully all the tea in China will be staying in China. Perhaps relaxed for a moment, he slowly began leaning towards the balcony’s rail – while keeping an eye at the disappearing sun.

‘Alexandra, there is no point in hiding. I’ve noticed you long ago, don’t hide behind the pillar.’
‘Are they about to start their play again?’
‘Yes, Ey Ukhnem, the singers are going to their places and preparing their song.’
‘Are they wearing their purple robes?’
‘Yes they are.’
‘Who’s died?’
‘Based on what I’ve heard - it is the local Burgh.’
‘How is that even possible?’
‘I do not know, I have this bad feeling about it.’
‘Your bad feeling could be from the soup of mine.’’

A try for comedy, how has she been able to retain her personality like that? How is she capable to hide her treachery and deceit? Murky thoughts and conspiracies – yet he answered; ‘Ay, can’t be denying your skill in the kitchen.’

In the distance and old singer with heavy voice started sing and soon the choir joined.

Ei, ookhnyem! Ei, ookhnyem!
Yeshcho razik, yeshcho raz!
Razovyom mi beryozoo,

CHORUS:
Razovyom mi koodriavoo,
Ai da da, ai da, ai da da, ai da,
Razovyom mi koodriavoo,
Ei, ookhnyem! Ei, ookhnyem!

Ei, ookhnyem! Ei, ookhnyem!
Mi po berezhkoo idyom,
Pyesniu solnishkoo poyom...

Ei, ookhnyem! Ei, ookhnyem!
Ekh, ti, Volga, matreka,
Shiroka i glooboka...

The play itself had no religious conception; it was nothing more than an old tradition passed from one generation to the other. Perhaps a long time ago it had had a religious meaning, concept that defined the end of ones life. Led the dead where they belonged and gave hope to those who had survived. Time passes and old fortresses crumble, in modern world you can never be sure. The boat found its place in the river, and as the singers stood in their place to salute it the current slowly took the boat and let it towards the sunset. When the last strays of light still threw long shadows – singers left as silently as they had arrived.

‘The Song of Volga’s boatmen.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘The song is over; you have no reason to remain where you are.’
‘True, very true, but beware little Mockingbird, during spring the ice is not strong and might not carry your weight.’ Was it an warning or a threat? It didn’t matter – for now. Tourist had entered the Hand, did they not read the sign “closed during repair”, are they a bunch of adventurers – if so why have they entered, what do they seek. It was certain that nothing good would come out of this. Sometimes in a modern world you can be sure.

...

Armed with a wooden bat, inspecting every dark corner, every sound, yet there were three remaining – lurking somewhere in the darkness? It was not like the others before; it hadn’t touched things that shouldn’t be touched. The creature was small, smaller than most children – not necessarily extremely intelligent being, but instead it had an exceptional skill in hunting. Mockingbird was at the end of his Tether. It was intolerable that some over sized vermin could be able to hide from him. Perhaps an tip of a tail, or a leg could be seen no longer than a 1/100 of second at a time. At verges of his sight he sometime could also see a pair of yellow eyes, staring – always watching until turned towards the eyes. But his adversary was now in his trap, the hunter becomes the hunted; ‘LIGHT’ he screamed.

Every wall and pillar of the hall began to emit bluish light leaving no shadows and the hunter visible. Shocked, but not for long the small monkey, or by its real name macaque, in a boiled leather armour leaped off the pillar, draw his short sword and started running towards its target screaming; ‘Die You Murderer’. Things didn’t look good on the human’s side, and apparently he was already a subject towards accusations, he knew who to blame for it, who to feel his vengeance – again. But most of all he needed a plan and he had no time to think. Nothing more than a word erupted from his mouth; ‘Phreddie?’ Like magic the macaque stopped and looked if his armour was still in good shape and faced the man already the words on his lips to say; ‘Yes?. Instead of that – Phreddie’s face and a wooden bat made an unwanted connection, a loud one if I am allowed to add. The unconscious monkey dropped carelessly into a barrel and the barrel tightly sealed, Mr. Mockingbird sighed and rolled his eyes.

‘Harming little animals, what has gone with me? This is not like me.’

It took another long sigh before he said anything.

‘I am sure you would be interested knowing what has happened to your thievery companions after you decided to split up?’

‘Well, about your so called leader, the one with that silly horse helm, I think that you called him as Fable or something. Well in any case he shouldn’t have touched my chess pieces. It was his own fault, well I was about to add an sign that tells not to touch those if you do not want to be instantly teleported to nearest Troll Kings court right in the middle of challengers ring. It may sound little bit awful for him, but if he survives he’ll be the next Troll King until defeated. Unfortunately the title brings little drop of insanity too – it shouldn’t bring much difference to his behaviour, in my opinion.’

Scribble, scribble

‘What was that coward’s name again? Ah, yes, Mr. Bloodstalker. He actually was the smartest of you for running away right after you separated. It is a pity that he decided to by one of my former mirrors earlier in the city, however, who would be so stupid to by a mirror in the City of Lurkers? Haven’t you people heard of any children stories? Talking mirrors are bad for you, in every possible way.’

Scribble, scribble

‘I think that he is actually happy with his punishment. He had way too great interest in the Hands silverware anyway. But his form has changed back to a pug and he was also teleported, but unlike the first teleported – he was sent to be a pet of a certain old lady in Tap and Tea town. I think he will be just fine, if the only things you have to keep your eye on is when your next meal and when to sleep, I think he’ll fare splendidly.’

[ch85us2001]

Chu awoke with a start and looked around. He seemed to be in some sort of prison, and the smell of vodka was overwelming. He was dressed in simple, cheap, garments made out of sacks. He could tell theat someone else was lying on the other bedroll. He moaned.

[ik911]

"How odd, how very odd", thought Icarus, "to not have noticed the stairway earlier. But the black goo was more interesting, ofcourse." He moved up the stairway. Luis was still mumbling, shaking his head to and fro in some state of trance. Better to not disturb him now...

The stairway ended in a corridor. It got darker as he moved away from the fire-lit chamber that Luis was still occupying. Icarus' eyes were not yet accustomed to the darkness and he bumped into the end of the small passage. He almost fell, but managed to grab some kind of handle in the wall. It moved and set in motion some kind of mechanism. The whole wall he had just hit started rotating. Before he knew it, he found himself in a large hall that seemed to be capable of serving as a church.

When the initial surprise was over, another presented itself. Fiona and Dragonwench were standing in the middle, talking to another man he did not recognize. "Excuse me, dearly. Did I interrupt anything? I was just on the other side of the wall, but it rotated me here, so in fact, I'm still on the same side of that wall, but now in a different room. Er... It didn't come here on purpose... I-I'm really sorry."

[Phreddie]

Hearing Chu start to moan as he awoke, Phreddie quickly got off the bed roll and moved back to his own, hoping fervently he had not been discovered. Feigning sleep Phreddie watched Chu to make sure his suspicions had not been aroused. Once he was sure that he wa sin no danger of discovery he returned to the one thought that had kept him awake for the past week: Febreeze. When and where would his next fix come? He needed it if he was ever going to expose himself to his cell mates. He wondered if they suspected him of being a very rare breed of weregoat, or if he was just another mysteriously magical flying goat to them. If they were going to escape from... where ever they were, they would all need to be human for them to discuss any form of a plan.

The Goat's thoughts wandered back to that evening, passing out from exhaustion after passing so much gas, his party had kept walking, not knowing he was missing, leaving him far, far behind. When Phreddie awoke, he was here, imprisoned, and robbed of his febreeze. Knowing of the world's general distrust of your average talking, flying goat he had kept his mouth shut, speaking to no one in gods only know how long. His largest fear, besides cavity searches, was talking in his sleep, revealing not only his nature, but his plans.

[Panned]

The second part

Scribble, scribble

‘I am sure you expect that Aegis would come to rescue but he won’t. Like you know he stayed in the bar after you left – drinking and he will be doing it for sometime if I am not completely mistaken. But the main thing is that he has been victim of pick pocketing – he isn’t aware of it, yet. When he is, his priority is to be as far as possible from this City and as an old sage it is most likely that he succeeds in it. Do not even try looking me like that, read sage’s job description and you see that there is a line such as “every sage should be able to disappear instantly when they are not being able to pay for their drinks”. Sorry, you will have no heroes today.’

Scribble, scribble

‘You do realise that the barrel won’t be answering to you?’
‘Ah, Alexandra, finished your business already?’
‘Yes, I have. But little bit of your barrel...’ She was interrupted before finishing her sentance.
‘Naturally barrels are not the most talkative ones, but if there is a macaque inside my possibilities to get an answer are lot higher. Unfortunately he might still be unconscious because of his recent head injury, that’ll explain why I am writing down what I have said – so that he could read it himslef later. And I can plug in my letter from this hole here before I have decided where to teleport the insides of this barrel. Satisfied?’
‘Right, I’ll have to talk with you later if that’s not big problem for you.’
‘No, not at all, see you at the basement later then?’
‘It’s ok, I think.’
‘So farewell to you Alexandra until we’ll met again.’
‘Yes, bye.’ And she disappeared into the hallway.

‘Ah now where was I? Ah, yes... your punishment for illegally intruding my property and threatening my life. For now on you will be under my geas, you will find out what you are capable to do and what you are not Of course that geas is not permanent and to prevent it worsening, you have to find the man-god Xandax in his monastery and begin your path to fulfil his prophesy. Bye, bye to you Phreddie, I’ll take care of everything else. Trust me; your part of this tale is not the worst.’

Scribble, scribble

Few words of old enchantments and purple smoke rose from the barrel’s hole. Maybe safe for a moment but two intruders remained and conformation of so called “Optimism”. ‘Why does spring always bring troubles?’ He was truly alone, no answer, only the echo – mocking his plea.

...

Door after door, room after room, but not systematically, he was tracking down the two remaining intruders. His bad feeling was slowly growing into disgust, working as his guide – as his compass, until he was sure that what lay ahead of him was behind the golden door. How easy it would have been if he had turned away. But the door was open and he entered the room. Smell of sulphur, furniture torn down, the whole room was messed up expect the table on eastern wall. The chest was still there, opened. Was it a trap or evidence of something else, ticked inside his head. He lifts the nearby table and raised the old gramophone on it. Not paying much attention to his surroundings he searched for an old vinyl, Hunt for Red October – Russian Navy Hymn. As the song started, his speculations were proven, measured and found to be correct. A partial silence spell had been cast in this room, and that spell was starting to run out in the effect of gramophone’s music. Walked to the table and carefully removed the globe from its chest. Intruders were still in the room.

A small noise, nothing more than an inhale and by just reflex he turned around and realised sphere’s magical energy. Victim fell to the ground, revealing his face behind the cloak of invisibility – Luis paralyzed for now as the other intruder revealed himself.
‘Bravo you fool, bravo for starting prophesy of my. What you did as an accident wouldn’t have served my any better. He will slowly turn into insanity and so the Heathens are led against me by their insane leader. Thank you for that, now hand me my precious. If you do not do it I’ll promise you pain of unimaginable until you beg for your death, which you shall never have.’ Burst of laughter was not really what the intruder was expecting.

‘As potent as your threat is, the pain you promise me is nothing and death is something to look forward to, you clearly aren’t aware of my status. It is understandable as I haven’t really been sharing it with others. But the globe of Holy Spam shall remain as my possession.’
‘If you really think that you can control my precious against me you are terribly wrong, hand it over.’
‘More words, more words, when you simply lack action. What is the little beast afraid of me? Is the little beast completely clueless? Tell me little beast, why you do not have any backbone?’
‘Who are you AR?’
‘Who are you AR? Why are you AR? Is that what you ask, is that all you can come up with?’
‘Who are you, tell me!’
‘If you insist’ Walking pompously towards the man and quietly whispering into his ear; ‘Well my good friend, I am no more or less than the good old Weasel.’
‘How dare you mention my name in such connection? For this you shall not live to tell the tale.’
‘Uh, how poetic that is of you. But, you see that I am a busy man and I do not have time to spent such shadows as you, truthfully, you cannot even refer yourself as Weasel. You are pathetic, powerless, you disgust me.’
‘Give me my precious, please.’
‘Please, manners at last? Then here you are good old shadow of Weasel. You can come back when you are less pathetic vermin.
Looking greedily to his precious; ‘You can count on that my threats shall come true. You’ll suffer enormously. You have my word on it.’
‘Sounds acceptable, we’ll see then, but come only when you are not such weakling. Or you are no match for my ever optimistic beliefs on human nature and spirit. Now be gone.’ With a wave of a hand, Weasel and Luis were gone leaving nothing more than two small clouds of purple smoke.

Mockingbird collapsed and cursed for his act. Cursed his destiny, cursed his now sure death and the spring that once again had brought it.

Not To be continued.