you have probably heard a bunch of stupid jokes in your lifetime! Post them here. Whether they are pointless, don't make sense, or just flat out not funny, here is a warm and cozy home for them. I'll get the ball rolling...
A young boy says to his father, "Daddy, can I have a glass of water?"
The dad says, "No son, you've had ten glasses already!"
The boy says, "I know, but my room is still on fire."
Why did Johnny fall off of his bike?
Because he didn't have arms.
What did the blind, deaf, and mute kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Let's see what you've got!
Share your worst jokes
-
Grimar
- Posts: 2011
- Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:03 pm
- Location: Norwegian stationed in the philippines
- Contact:
Share your worst jokes
I once had a little teaparty, this afternoon at three, twas was very small, three guests in all; I, myself, and me. myself ate up the sandwhiches, while i drank up the tea. twas also i that ate the pie,and passed the cake to me 
[QUOTE=Grimar]What did the blind, deaf, and mute kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry, but I find that to be hilarious. :laugh:
At first, when I read the title, I though it was "worst" as in like...horribly degrading/offensive/dirty jokes. I had a bunch thought up, but they'd definately cause trouble, and that isn't what this is for. I'm no good at this stuff.
Cancer.[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry, but I find that to be hilarious. :laugh:
At first, when I read the title, I though it was "worst" as in like...horribly degrading/offensive/dirty jokes. I had a bunch thought up, but they'd definately cause trouble, and that isn't what this is for. I'm no good at this stuff.
"You can do whatever you want to me."
"Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?"
"So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone"
"Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?"
"So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone"
-
Hill-Shatar
- Posts: 7724
- Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:41 am
- Location: Hell Freezing Over
- Contact:
-
Grimar
- Posts: 2011
- Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:03 pm
- Location: Norwegian stationed in the philippines
- Contact:
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
How many waffles does it take to build a dog house?
None, Chickens don't eat ice cream
Bill- Hey, what's up?
Bob- The sky.
Whats brown and sticky? ....a stick!
i could go on for an eternity
Because they taste funny.
How many waffles does it take to build a dog house?
None, Chickens don't eat ice cream
Bill- Hey, what's up?
Bob- The sky.
Whats brown and sticky? ....a stick!
i could go on for an eternity
I once had a little teaparty, this afternoon at three, twas was very small, three guests in all; I, myself, and me. myself ate up the sandwhiches, while i drank up the tea. twas also i that ate the pie,and passed the cake to me
-
Fiona
-
Grimar
- Posts: 2011
- Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:03 pm
- Location: Norwegian stationed in the philippines
- Contact:
i love this one though
What will postman pat be called when he retires???
Pat
What will postman pat be called when he retires???
Pat
I once had a little teaparty, this afternoon at three, twas was very small, three guests in all; I, myself, and me. myself ate up the sandwhiches, while i drank up the tea. twas also i that ate the pie,and passed the cake to me
-
dragon wench
- Posts: 19609
- Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2001 10:00 pm
- Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
- Contact:
-
Hill-Shatar
- Posts: 7724
- Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:41 am
- Location: Hell Freezing Over
- Contact:
-.-'
[Hill-Shatar]
Did you just volunteer me?
[Dragon Wench]
Someone has to volunteer you.
I'm sorry, DW, I had to leak at least that part.
[Hill-Shatar]
Did you just volunteer me?
[Dragon Wench]
Someone has to volunteer you.
I'm sorry, DW, I had to leak at least that part.
Buy a GameBanshee T-Shirt [url="http://www.gamebanshee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=68975"]HERE[/url]! Sabre's [url="http://www.users.bigpond.com/qtnt/index.htm"]site[/url] for Baldur's Gate series' patches and items. This has been a Drive-by Hilling.
-
Fiona
-
TonyMontana1638
- Posts: 4598
- Joined: Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:10 pm
- Location: Chasing nuns out in the yard
[QUOTE=Hill-Shatar]Your looking for "corny". PM Rav. [/QUOTE]
:laugh:
Two Jews walk into a bar and buy it.
If that's outta line lemme know.
[/QUOTE]:laugh:
Two Jews walk into a bar and buy it.
If that's outta line lemme know.
"Be thankful you're healthy."
"Be bitter you're not going to stay that way."
"Be glad you're even alive."
"Be furious you're going to die."
"Things could be much worse."
"They could be one hell of a lot better."
"Be bitter you're not going to stay that way."
"Be glad you're even alive."
"Be furious you're going to die."
"Things could be much worse."
"They could be one hell of a lot better."
-
The Balance
- Posts: 258
- Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:18 am
- Location: Islands of Langerhans
- Contact:
You asked for the worst !
From A Mother With Love
Dear Child,
I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.
Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.
They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.
Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.
Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
Hey ! This is not my own work !!
From A Mother With Love
Dear Child,
I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.
Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.
They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.
Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.
Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
Hey ! This is not my own work !!
Sapientis est nihil facere quod se paenitere possit !
The Balance
Solem e mundo tollere mihi videor qui amicitiam a vita tollunt !
Non exiguum temporis habemus, sed multum perdimus. :mischief:
-
TheAmazingOopah
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:26 am
- Location: The Lower Lands
- Contact:
[QUOTE=Fiona]How are an elephant and a banana just alike?
They are both yellow. . . . Except for the elephant[/QUOTE]Ooooh! Elephant jokes.
Why is an elephant big, fat and grey?
If it was small, flat, round and white, it would be an aspirin.
Why shouldn't you go in the jungle after 5 pm?
The elephants drop from the trees.
Why do elephants wear pink socks?
As camouflage in a strawberry field.
Ever seen an elephant in a strawberry field?
(no)
Good camouflage, ain't it?
Why are crocodiles flat?
They went into the jungle after 5 pm.
They are both yellow. . . . Except for the elephant[/QUOTE]Ooooh!
Elephant jokes.Why is an elephant big, fat and grey?
If it was small, flat, round and white, it would be an aspirin.
Why shouldn't you go in the jungle after 5 pm?
The elephants drop from the trees.
Why do elephants wear pink socks?
As camouflage in a strawberry field.
Ever seen an elephant in a strawberry field?
(no)
Good camouflage, ain't it?
Why are crocodiles flat?
They went into the jungle after 5 pm.
I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
- Oscar Wilde
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully.
- Russian proverb
- Oscar Wilde
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully.
- Russian proverb