Dealing with dishonest ex-druggie

Jaypee · Post by **Jaypee** » Fri May 19, 2006 6:13 pm

Speed and heroin one. Not light stuff.

Another chance or immediate dispatch?

Obviously he's clean now, but he hasn't told us anything about the former problem. This is a band rehearsal place issue. I've posted this thing to several boards to get wide opinion. We use booze and hash heavily too, so we're really open minded about this issue.

Fiona · Post by **Fiona** » Fri May 19, 2006 6:14 pm

Dishonest, or merely reticent?

Jaypee · Post by **Jaypee** » Fri May 19, 2006 6:25 pm

It doesn't matter. Because considering the gear and space issues everything should have been told in the first second.

mr_sir · Post by **mr_sir** » Fri May 19, 2006 6:57 pm

If he is clean now then does it matter if he doesn't feel able to talk about his former problem. Surely the important thing is that he knew he had a problem and has sorted it out.

TonyMontana1638 · Post by **TonyMontana1638** » Fri May 19, 2006 9:16 pm

[QUOTE=mr_sir]If he is clean now then does it matter if he doesn't feel able to talk about his former problem. Surely the important thing is that he knew he had a problem and has sorted it out.[/QUOTE]
Well it should matter because it obviously isn't sorted out if he's incapable of talking about it. I'm the forgiving type, though, and give would him a second shot.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Fri May 19, 2006 9:31 pm

Maybe some people are just not comfortable talking about certain things. Just because someone doesn't talk about an issue doesn;t automatically mean that it isn't sorted out. He may not be incapable of talking about it, he may just not want to talk about it for any range of reasons from considering it too personal to just figureing it's none of anyones business.

I don;t see it as any different than if someone doesn;t want to discuss something like a bad relationship, divorce, being abused at some point, or any other wide range of things that are quite frankly none of anyone elses business.

If, as you stated, he's clean now, why would you write someone off simply because they want their own personal privacy? if it becomes a problem again at some point, that's different, but simply dispatching someone because they won't talk about something that they may just consider none of anyone's business of not relevant to thier current situation.

mr_sir · Post by **mr_sir** » Fri May 19, 2006 9:39 pm

[QUOTE=TonyMontana1638]Well it should matter because it obviously isn't sorted out if he's incapable of talking about it. I'm the forgiving type, though, and give would him a second shot.[/QUOTE]

There are quite a few things from when I was growing up that I don't feel comfortable talking about to anyone but my closest friends but they are still sorted out. Unless there is evidence that he is still using drugs or that he is stealing or anything like that, I'd give him another chance. Even if there is evidence like that I'd still try to talk to him about it and help him and give him another chance. I firmly believe that everyone makes mistakes and deserves not to be judged by other people.

shana · Post by **shana** » Fri May 19, 2006 11:19 pm

I agree with Mr. Sir and Bloodstalker--its in the past, it doesn't matter now.

TonyMontana1638 · Post by **TonyMontana1638** » Fri May 19, 2006 11:49 pm

Hmmm... Well ok, maybe you're right. I don't know if I'd necessarily want to talk about problems like that with coworkers or even some friends. I was thinking more in a rehabilitation sense, like if he's not talking to doctors or people like that but discussing a heroin problem might be tough even with those really close to me. Good point.

Regardless, like I said before I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and a second chance.

shana · Post by **shana** » Fri May 19, 2006 11:53 pm

@Tony--exactly, we don't bring up in conversation that we used to wear diapers, and hopefully we won't return to that habit for many more years!

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Fri May 19, 2006 11:54 pm

*Shrugs*

Never really known any ex-speed/heroin junkies, so I don't really know, but I guess it can't hurt to give him a trial period...like...say a few months?

TonyMontana1638 · Post by **TonyMontana1638** » Fri May 19, 2006 11:55 pm

[QUOTE=shana]@Tony--exactly, we don't bring up in conversation that we used to wear diapers, and hopefully we won't return to that habit for many more years![/QUOTE]
:laugh:
You mean you don't wear diapers anym...

Erm, nevermind. I judged him too quickly.

shana · Post by **shana** » Fri May 19, 2006 11:58 pm

Dry for 3 days running!

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Fri May 19, 2006 11:59 pm

Heh, wow, I've been sat here for four hours just because I couldn't be bothered to plug the Gamecube back in to continue playing.

Oh, yeah, reason I wasn't around, laziness and gaming, can you blame me?

Right...got to go game shopping in a while and swimming a while after that.

shana · Post by **shana** » Sat May 20, 2006 12:01 am

What time is it there? I'm so tired I'm typing with two fingers!

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Sat May 20, 2006 12:02 am

[QUOTE=shana]What time is it there? I'm so tired I'm typing with two fingers![/QUOTE]

7am here.

TonyMontana1638 · Post by **TonyMontana1638** » Sat May 20, 2006 12:02 am

[QUOTE=shana]Dry for 3 days running![/QUOTE]
Good for you! You're an inspiration for all of us "Oops I crapped my pants!"-aholics, shana.

2 am here if that question was in my direction.

shana · Post by **shana** » Sat May 20, 2006 12:03 am

Thank God for SNL!

Its 1:03 here and I should be in bed!

Damuna_Nova · Post by **Damuna_Nova** » Sat May 20, 2006 12:05 am

[QUOTE=shana]Thank God for SNL![/QUOTE]

Mistype of S&M?

:laugh:

shana · Post by **shana** » Sat May 20, 2006 12:05 am

I noticed 2 lurkers have joined us--wonder who they are?