The Holy Toaster

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 10:04 am

:speech:

[url="http://plainfront.com/theholytoaster/"]The Holy Toaster[/url]

Now those are some freaky pieces of toast.

watsaguy2do · Post by **watsaguy2do** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 10:06 am

That's nothing. I have a sacred breadmaker. It bakes bread that tastes EXACTLY like the Popes toenail clippings.

Well... That's what the sales rep told me...

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 10:43 am

ROFL! :laugh:

The Pope's toenail clippings?!??!?!

Would that be "Holy Roughage?"

My guess is that somebody messed around with the pattern of the grill bars inside the toaster.....

Lady Dragonfly · Post by **Lady Dragonfly** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 12:39 pm

Have the believers started flocking to the countertop yet?

Siberys · Post by **Siberys** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 12:52 pm

Well, at least it aint like an amytiville toaster.

Bread turns into wheat bread.
Wheat bread turns into pumpernickle.
Pumpernickle turns into a blueberry muffin.
A bagel turns into a medium rare steak.
though the manual says not th put a waffle in, somethin about a toasted human hand coming out.

(You gotta watch it to think it's funny, search Foamy Archive and find the Amytiville toaster flash, so great)

Chimaera182 · Post by **Chimaera182** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 1:46 pm

lol Siberys; I remember that one. I prefer the coffeehouse one myself. "Oh, I see what they're doing; they call small tall because it makes the customer feel good when they pay three dollars for a urine sample sized cup of swill!"

watsaguy: Eeeew. That's funny, but it freaks me out. Holy nailclippings... sounds like something Robin would say.

You know, I remember once contemplating burning a pattern of my own into a piece of toast and selling it on eBay to the hapless denizens. Someone's beaten me to it.

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:01 pm

watsaguy2do wrote:That's nothing. I have a sacred breadmaker. It bakes bread that tastes EXACTLY like the Popes toenail clippings.

Well... That's what the sales rep told me...

One word: Ew.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:07 pm

It's entertaining how these things always seem to end up on EBay. I think it was around a year ago that somebody was trying to sell a grilled cheese sandwich that apparently had an image of the Virgin Mary on one side

It was something like that anyway, I can't recall the precise details, but maybe another intrepid soul will

Magelord648 · Post by **Magelord648** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:14 pm

That guy looks like me! (Just without the beard.)

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:29 pm

dragon wench wrote:It's entertaining how these things always seem to end up on EBay. I think it was around a year ago that somebody was trying to sell a grilled cheese sandwich that apparently had an image of the Virgin Mary on one side

It was something like that anyway, I can't recall the precise details, but maybe another intrepid soul will

My question is, who bought the piece of toast and what he or she is doing with it?

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:49 pm

The Z wrote:My question is, who bought the piece of toast and what he or she is doing with it?

It's probably on somebody's wall deep down in Arkansas... right next to Great Gran Pappy's hunting trophies....

Chimaera182 · Post by **Chimaera182** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:58 pm

I think I'd buy that toaster.

Why not? I'll buy it, buy some space, open a breakfast and sandwich diner. Call it The Good Book. "C'mon down and have a little Christ to start your day." We'll sell Jesus Toast, Jesus Deli Sandwiches, Christ on a Bun... That toaster would pay for itself within a week. We can even have a special: if your sandwich has a piece of the cross Jesus was crucified on, your meal is half-price.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 3:26 pm

@Chim,
well it was alledgedly PT Barnum who said, "There's one born every minute"

Magrus · Post by **Magrus** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 3:32 pm

Chim, If you do that, I'm with you. If some guy asks for ketchup, we can charge him $30 a packet for "Christ's Blood". We'll make a killing!

Lady Dragonfly · Post by **Lady Dragonfly** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 3:54 pm

Guys, we all should be more respectful.
Somebody might decide you mock Eucharistia (Communion) and take offense.
Just a word of caution.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 4:44 pm

@Lady Dragonfly,
Assuming you are being serious, I generally agree with you, and I usually make a genuine effort to be respectful of different religious beliefs. My motto generally is something to the effect of, "If you are willing to respect my views, I'll happily respect yours (providing nobody is being hurt....)"

But.. with stuff like this.. I mean, it's rather tough to refrain from jesting.

As much as anything, I also think people need to learn to laugh at themselves a little, especially where topics like religion are concerned. IMO, that is an ability sadly absent on this continent.

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:25 pm

Magrus wrote:Chim, If you do that, I'm with you. If some guy asks for ketchup, we can charge him $30 a packet for "Christ's Blood". We'll make a killing!

:laugh:

Somewhere in heaven Jesus is rolling his eyes.

Sean The Owner · Post by **Sean The Owner** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:35 pm

umm...what were these people thinking about when they made a jesus burning toaster? or was it like some guy that was high and was like "man...imagine a toaster that made a jesus pattern on the bread?"

Lady Dragonfly · Post by **Lady Dragonfly** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:58 pm

dragon wench wrote:@Lady Dragonfly,
Assuming you are being serious, I generally agree with you, and I usually make a genuine effort to be respectful of different religious beliefs. My motto generally is something to the effect of, "If you are willing to respect my views, I'll happily respect yours (providing nobody is being hurt....)"

But.. with stuff like this.. I mean, it's rather tough to refrain from jesting.
As much as anything, I also think people need to learn to laugh at themselves a little, especially where topics like religion are concerned. IMO, that is an ability sadly absent on this continent.

Religious topic is one of the most sensitive. It is easy to get overboard.
The toaster thing is very funny but Christ Deli sandwich and Crist Blood ketchup is a bit too much. I have to refer you guys to SYM rule #4.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 7:24 pm

I have to refer you guys to SYM rule #4.

I am fully aware of the SYM rules, and I imagine everyone else who has posted in this thread is too.
I suppose some of those comments are a little borderline...thinking about it, but I'm not certain any rules are exactly being broken, that's something for the SYM mods to determine.

Speaking for myself, I don't think I said anything that was over the top, but if I did cause offense it was inadvertent. Part of my background is strongly British and I'm heavily influenced by it. In the UK jokes about religion are not generally perceived with the same level of sensitivity as they are on this side of the pond.