US couples seek separate bedrooms

[dragon wench]

[url="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6441131.stm"]US couples seek separate bedrooms[/url]

More and more couples in the US are ordering separate master bedrooms in their new homes to help ensure a more harmonious marriage, research suggests.

A survey by the National Association of Home Builders has predicted that by 2015, 60% of custom-built homes will have two master bedroom suites.

The quest for better rest is behind the trend as experts say the lack of decent sleep can cause marital tension.

The option of having separate rooms has often improved marriages, they say.

Gopal Ahluwalia, of the National Association of Home Builders, said the trend was a "market-driven demand that's going to continue".

'Flex suite'

Separate bedrooms have often been taken as a sign of a failing relationship, but for many people they appear to be becoming a practical necessity.

Snoring, night-time visits to the bathroom, child-care requirements and shift-working can deprive couples of the recommended seven to eight hours of sleep per night.

The situation has reportedly become more acute as gender roles have changed - with both men and women juggling work and childcare duties.

Families expert, Stephanie Coontz, told the New York Times there were many couples "confident enough that they have a nice marriage, but they don't particularly like sleeping in the same room".

"I don't think it says anything about their sex lives," she said.

Nevertheless, some builders call the extra room a "flex suite" to avoid any embarrassment.

The trend is not restricted to the upper end of the market, the newspaper says.

Lana Pepper of St Louis said she had switched things around in her new apartment to cope with a restless husband.

"My husband is still alive. I would have killed him," she said.






I could see this having certain advantages actually....

[galraen]

It makes you wonder how our distant ancestors used to cope with the whole (large) family used to share the same room, along with their livestock in winter. Of course, in may parts of the world it's not their ancestors that did that, they still do it themselves. Ah, the luxury of being rich!

[Moonbiter]

My parents moved to separate bedrooms 15 years ago, due to my dad snoring like a sawmill and natural habit of getting up unspeakably early in the morning, and my mom behaving like Tazzie on speed while sleeping. They spend most of the summer in the same room and bed while on vacation, but at home it's a matter of comfort. I can see the point. My wife OWNS the bed! I've had to get a custom built King Size++ monster to get any sleep, and I still sometimes feel the need to either get a barricade of sandbags and barbed wire down the middle, or simply move into the guestroom for the night. The "War of the Duvets" continues... The funny thing is that when we're out in the wilderness in a tent, she never stirs during the night. That's probably because she spends most of the year in a tent so actually sleeping in a real bed is most likely an anathema to her.

I myself am a light sleeper, so any sort of interference during the night is a problem. I've gotten used to a certain level of ambient noise since moving into the city, where the sirens, car alarms, trams, party people, whathaveyou is part of a constant droning background, but any movement or sound close to me causes me to wake up. I also don't need more than 5-6 hours of sleep anymore and can't seem to sleep in, while my wife has to be ejected by force. That's no picnic, I tell you. Four different alarm clocks located around the room in safe distance from a swift, deadly punch or kick.:laugh:

Moving to separate rooms is not an option, but if I really need a good nights sleep without the possibility of disturbance, I'll use the guestroom or the loft. Hell, I'll even sleep in my son's bedroom, as he's out for 7 hours straight without stirring.

[fable]

The skewed way that survey is being presented to the public can be seen in one revealing section:

More and more couples in the US are ordering separate master bedrooms in their new homes...

Most people in the United States who do buy houses, buy them pre-built. They don't "order" any separate master bedrooms, which I assume means 2 large bedrooms with their own separate baths and major amenities. So the survey, if accurate, and presented accurately in all other respects, is really about a tiny percentage of the US house-buying public that has the large money to throw at houses you can change at this stage.

[Chanak]

"My husband is still alive. I would have killed him," she said.

The hotspot of this thread, IMO.

[Sean The Owner]

The skewed way that survey is being presented to the public can be seen in one revealing section:

More and more couples in the US are ordering separate master bedrooms in their new homes...

Most people in the United States who do buy houses, buy them pre-built. They don't "order" any separate master bedrooms, which I assume means 2 large bedrooms with their own separate baths and major amenities. So the survey, if accurate, and presented accurately in all other respects, is really about a tiny percentage of the US house-buying public that has the large money to throw at houses you can change at this stage.

so this survey doesnt say "for the purpose of getting better sleep?" so that could mean, they just want 2 big bedrooms in their house, not particularly for them to be seperate during the night? or am i just being stupid again?

[QuenGalad]

Good point as usual, both fable and galraen

The whole idea of a double bed is a hallmark of poverty. As galraen said, people used to have one bed for a whole family. Then came a time when people started living better lives, and living them in cities, and two separate bedrooms for "lady and lord of the house" let's call them, were something natural and even the poorer had it so. You can read descriptions in books. You had to be really bad off to share a room with your better half.

Modern double beds are made to be spare-room and practical. No wonder people rich enough to buy a custom made house want to have two bedrooms. It says "I'm rich enough not to care about practical room-sparing".

[Lady Dragonfly]

Most people in the United States who do buy houses, buy them pre-built. They don't "order" any separate master bedrooms, which I assume means 2 large bedrooms with their own separate baths and major amenities. So the survey, if accurate, and presented accurately in all other respects, is really about a tiny percentage of the US house-buying public that has the large money to throw at houses you can change at this stage.

The idea that a custom-built house should be much more expensive than a "pre-built" house is a common misconception.
It becomes more expensive only if you want to use much better materials and fixtures than the generic crap found commonly in American homes, and if you let your contractor use your ignorance to rip you off. Otherwise, the difference is minimal.
It is also a lot of planning and decision-making, hassle most people don't care to deal with. We custom-built our house a few years ago and I shudder at the memories. The advantage is a higher quality (by the end my builder hated me almost as much as I hated him), space you need, stuff you like, and overall a better investment. We spent less money compared to what a house with similar features (or worse) would cost us if we wanted to buy one, instead of building.
Of course, if one lives in New York or San Francisco where a hovel costs a million, the difference might be more significant.
No, we don't have two master suits, and I haven't heard about this trend before, and would not consider it. Speaking of money, however, I don't think a suit can be much pricier than an ole' plain separate bedroom with a bathroom outside, just more convenient. When people get older and crankier, the personal comfort becomes more important. If they can afford it, that is.
When my pager used to go off repeatedly in the middle of the night, my husband was not exactly a happy camper. My alarm clock starts ringing at 5:20AM. I say "starts" because I let it "start ringing" at least twice before getting up. Moonbiter, I feel your pain.

[Moonbiter]

Just thought I'd update this...

CNN.com Video

[Malta Soron]

I find the sheer size of that house to be shocking Really. It's about as big as (or even bigger than) my house, where we live with 10 students, and that's considered spacious according to Leiden student standards. And that couple is living there alone, right?

[fable]

I find the sheer size of that house to be shocking Really. It's about as big as (or even bigger than) my house, where we live with 10 students, and that's considered spacious according to Leiden student standards. And that couple is living there alone, right?

If you mean the homes in that CNN video, they look very expensive. (Though as LD states, those who want to become involved in the mess of customizing-their-own can lower their prices significantly. Few will do this.) I would suspect that's $500,000 to $1 million or more, depending on location: well beyond the income possibilities of most middleclass Americans who are sensible enough to avoid staggering longterm debt. An average young family might live in anything from 1500 sq ft to 2500 sq ft, not including basement. (Some basements are finished off to act as recreation rooms, or simply used for storage.) There is no question that USian homes are on average larger than their counterparts in other nations, but there is a broad difference within the States, too. And the CNN video used special lens to increase the depth and size of rooms, as well as getting angles that made them look more glamorous than they probably were.