T'is the Season.... to be Tacky..

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:06 pm

Now, before anyone calls me Scrooge or The Grinch or something, let me say that I've actually sort of gotten into the whole seasonal thing this year. We've made alcohol-soaked Christmas cakes, we have a tree up.. Hell, we even have a few subtly placed lights outside.

But, why on earth do people have to be so damned tacky!
Our neighbours across the street have went all out on rows of multi-coloured lights... the place looks like a fairground. But worse (or perhaps even more entertaining?), they have an inflated thing dancing around on their front lawn. It looks vaguely like a severely mutated cross between a snowman, a teddy bear, a giant condom and a super-sized blowup doll. And just so we can't miss it, it is all lit up from the inside. No, I'm not kidding, I wish I was.
Since it is quite windy at the moment, the thing has been blowing every which way, and thus has been a source numerous unrepeatable comments.

I'm truly itching to go and knock on the guy's door to inquire if that was the "if you act now" free gift that came with the mysterious brown parcel..
*must restrain myself, I must*

So, I suppose this is a thread for your comments, rants and observations on the tackiness that surrounds you

Any other visions of horror here?

galraen · Post by **galraen** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:11 am

DW, I hereby dub thee Scrinch .

I can think of one solution to your problem if it is indeed inflatable, it involves a good old fashioned hat pin, do you happen to have one handy?

Tackyness seems to be universal at this time of year, everything from singing snowmen to large model sleighs on the roof. The power companies must love this time of year, on top of extra cash generated by heating they have all those illuminations topping up their piggy banks too. I find it amazing that people who spend most of the year expressing their concern over global warming and brag about their energy efficient light bulbs can turn around at Yuletide and chuck all they've achieved down the toilet.

Faberge · Post by **Faberge** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:17 am

Luckily that is not really much of a problem around here.

But when this season arrives, almost every radio channel will be playing "constantly" Christmas carols and the sole exception seems to be when there are some Christmas themed "radio shows" or ads going around. And then every television channel will have these season themed commercial breaks, which are somehow supposedly humorous.

So all in all this season will be enjoyed by reading some books and hopefully enjoying the sight of trees covered in snow. Ooh and feeding little birds with seeds and such. But that goes on for the whole winter though.

prof. Moriarty · Post by **prof. Moriarty** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:32 am

Sweden is, thankfully, on the whole preserved from such extreme cases of tackiness (spelling?) around christmans.
No offense intended, but I am right now VERY glad that I'm not living in the States. *Shudders incontrolably (is that even a word?)*

If there is snow (as there sometimes is at this time of the year) I would suggest that you DON'T attack the bear-monster with any melee-weapons. I guess their AC against melee attacks is worse than against ranged attacks but there IS the distinct possibility that you would leave tracks that won't require Track to follow.
Instead make ranged attacks in the night, when everyone sleeps and all is well. A well powered air gun (those for contests, not the weapon replica-thingies that you can shoot persons with, they're too weak) should deflate the abomination with one well placed shot.

Good luck and remember that God want's you to do it!

Deus Vult!
P

VonDondu · Post by **VonDondu** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:24 am

dragon wench wrote:Our neighbours across the street have went all out on rows of multi-coloured lights... the place looks like a fairground. But worse (or perhaps even more entertaining?), they have an inflated thing dancing around on their front lawn. It looks vaguely like a severely mutated cross between a snowman, a teddy bear, a giant condom and a super-sized blowup doll. And just so we can't miss it, it is all lit up from the inside...

That totally rocks!

On a more serious note, there are several neighborhoods in my area (Dallas/Fort Worth) where elaborate Christmas decorations are practically compulsory. It's actually a tourist attraction. I take my mother to see them every year, and I must say it feels like "If you've seen one, you've seen them all" UNLESS something really sticks out. Like your neighbors' display, for example.

Fiberfar · Post by **Fiberfar** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:35 am

YouTube - Wizards of Winter

Dedicated to you, DW

Did I mention that the Trans-siberian Orchestra rocks?

fable · Post by **fable** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:56 am

There was a house on a corner lot where we formerly lived in New Jersey, that always put up as many inflatables, tacky lights, and glittery cardboard window statements as possible for every holiday, even St Valentine's Day and St Patrick's Day. But Christmas had 14 inflatables last year, something of a record for them. And as these weren't counter-culture or academic types, I don't think they meant it as a post-modernist statement, either. It was hideous. I guess nobody ever complained about it, though more than likely, it was a case of nobody thinking anyone could do anything about it. Or fear of the wingnuts who would turn a protest about bad taste into a campaign against Christmas.

Now outside Cleveland, in a nice suburb that has obviously benefited from the quiet presence of a witch and his agnostic, formerly Methodist wife, I've seen one inflatable at most in a few yards. They're still awful, but at least the pain doesn't hit you so hard at once that your ears start to bleed. As to why people would do such things: maybe it's the Hawaiian shirt syndrome? The knowledge that you have to look just like everybody else the rest of the year, and they cut loose on this occasion? Or more likely, they just buy the latest hideous garbage because they've never been educated in criticial thinking, and believe everything they're told.

Siberys · Post by **Siberys** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:28 am

Ehh, I can deal with a few strands of lights and a cardboard cutout to be festive and such, but when people go nuts and try to make there christmas decorations stand out more than a fat guy at a crack addicts convention, then there's a problem.

Though, Decorating inside seems more insane. To quote a good comedian, it sounds like the behavior of a drunk really. The wife comes in and says to the husband "umm, honey, why...is there a pine tree....in our living room?" to which the drunk replies "*belch* I LIKE IT!! And we're gonna...we're gonna decorate it....for Jesus. Maybe hang my dirty socks over the fireplace and fill it with candy, and maybe I'll hang a leaf over my doorway...see if I can get some action. Merr.. Christmas!!"

[url="http://youtube.com/watch?v=QjJCIbC9sxA"]Jim Gaffigan on Christmas Trees[/url]

Queen_Articuno · Post by **Queen_Articuno** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:22 pm

Tackiness is no stranger to small towns

Here in Hicksville, Iowa, we have *plenty* of tacky decorations outside. (Sorry to anyone reading this who lives in a small Iowa town) There's a house maybe five blocks north of my house that has both big and small Christmas lights outside. Now THAT'S tacky.

And our Catholic church strung lights on an evergreen tree, and as a result, the tree looked like a cactus. (True story. :laugh

That hasn't happened for a while now, though.

Oh, and there is a house in town that is absolutely saturated in Christmas lights and decorations. You name it, they probably have it.

:laugh:

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:52 pm

I generally don;t mind the Christamas decorations for the most part. It's the neighbors that i'd like to get rid of.

On a somewhat related note, an apartment on the level below me still has their Jack-O-Lantern out from Halloween. It's somewhat shriveled now, but it's still there.

What does get me are the shopping centers. Not only are they crowded as hell now, but they blast Christmas music. Christmas music that I suspect is performed by Yanni. Factor in the elves from the Santa display standing around outside on smoke breaks with some of the truly wierd decorations for sale (I'm truly waiting to walk in and see a Pirates of the Carribean angel for the tree) and you got one weird shopping experience.

prof. Moriarty · Post by **prof. Moriarty** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 2:35 am

fable wrote:As to why people would do such things: maybe it's the Hawaiian shirt syndrome? The knowledge that you have to look just like everybody else the rest of the year, and they cut loose on this occasion?

Heh... A bit like victorian upper-class London? Everyone goes around, denying they enjoy sex, even putting legs (sleeves, whatnot, English isn't my primary language. What IS the pant-equivalent of sleeves called?!) on the legs on the chairs (so that they won't be naked legs!) and if you just scratch the surface a little you'd find EVERY kind of deviant behaviour. Bottling up is NEVER good for you. But then again, so is not constraining yourself at all to... Lagom är bäst.
That is: "The perfect balance between too much and too little (one word in swedish!!) is best."

Deus Vult!
P

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:13 pm

If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing.

prof. Moriarty · Post by **prof. Moriarty** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:48 am

But it probably won't be good for you in the long run. *Grines*
I don't mean to be a prude but excess is seldom healthy in the long run. But then again, so is being to constrained. As I said.
But back to the topic, shall we?

Deus Vult!
P

Tricky · Post by **Tricky** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 12:40 pm

Ah, you tricked me! The weird title had everything going for a witty birthday thread.

Siberys · Post by **Siberys** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 5:09 pm

Tricky wrote:Ah, you tricked me! The weird title had everything going for a witty birthday thread.

Considering your member name, that post is steeped in irony.

imawindowlickr · Post by **imawindowlickr** » Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:08 pm

I suggest a strong hail of flaming arrows on any lawn that has an inflatable anything for any holiday.

I haven't seen an inflatable menora yet, anyone else?

BlueSky · Post by **BlueSky** » Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:25 pm

DW and the rest of this crew.....a question....

You haven't been in my locale..have you?....:laugh:

slow news days down here..so the local news has been covering a rash of Xmas displays being shot, stabbed and generally being defaced....
most seem to involve the inflatable type of decorations....

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:53 am

BlueSky wrote:slow news days down here..so the local news has been covering a rash of Xmas displays being shot, stabbed and generally being defaced....
most seem to involve the inflatable type of decorations....

Aha! There's your solution DW.

prof. Moriarty · Post by **prof. Moriarty** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 6:30 am

Busted!

All right, I confess. You've got me. Hearing about the tackiness of american christmas decorations I desided that enough was enough. So I took my longbow and hit the first transport (eh, I mean airplane) to the States where I've just started a nationwide revolution against the exploitation of the day that should be dedicated to celebrating the birth of our Saviour only lamenting the fact that I didn't have a crossbow, which would have been easier to use and kick a little more punch.

Or I might just have stayed in Sweden due to the fact that I'm a student with a one year old girl and no money to implement said scenario. But it would have been fun.

Deus Vult!
P