See, now there. Why isn't intelligent and kind enough? Why do guys place so much emphasis on looks??
Perhaps -- and this is not addressed specifically to you, der Moench, but as a general comment -- perhaps if guys didn't place so much emphasis on looks, and didn't try to find the ideal supermodel, they would more easily find the intelligent and kind women.
Not to say that supermodel-types aren't intelligent and kind (some of them are, I'm sure ). Just saying that, if you're looking for looks, your vision is going to be clouded. This goes for women too, of course. I know women who constantly fail at relationships because they go for the hot guy and kind of cross their fingers and hope he's also a good person. Or, they go for the hot guy and outright imagine him to be a good person.
In short : "Beauty is only skin deep"
But it's all natural that people sees attraction from the looks since it's all started from the eye as input then the brain does all the processing, ne ?
@Der-draigen: Your point is well-taken. On the other hand, I have to say that when you are just "out looking," well, you are out looking. A person's looks, rightly or wrongly, are the first impression you will have of them. One would hope that, if you get to know a person, the looks become a secondary (tertiary, quadrenary ... ) issue - or even a non-issue. But right from the start - well, beautiful people have an advantage.
It's not that I personally am looking for model material (what would a woman like that want with me? ), but I look at all sorts of things about women that I meet: hair, clothes, smile, walk, etc, which also come under the category of "looks," and yet may have far less objective (societal) standards than waistline and high cheekbones.
I dunno.
There will be no Renaissance without Revolution.
Derision, scorn, and failure to understand do not move us. The future belongs to us ... Weasel for President!!
Originally posted by der Moench BTW, is anybody else going to embarass themselves with tales of love lost? I'm startin' to feel a tad foolish for posting that last one! Come on, people! Time to fess up to all love's barbs.
My ex, the one before the most recent, broke up with me in a rather...cruel way. I had moved away. So, I tried to keep in touch with her. Because of the time it takes to get settled in and get a phone and such, it was a couple months before I was able to call her. When I called her, she asked me if I loved her and told me that she loves me. She told me to write to her and I did. She never wrote back. 5 months later, I got a letter from her boyfriend saying that he and her had been going steady for 6 months and that it was over between me and her. She broke up with cute little me so she could go out with some big, dumb, annoying, handsome college boy.
Maybe I should try for a boyfriend again, now that they've had some time to grow up since the last time I had a boyfriend.
Protected by Saturn, Planet of Silence... I am the soldier of death and rebirth...I am Sailor Saturn.
I would also like you to meet my alternate personality, Mistress 9.
Mistress 9: You will be spammed. Your psychotic and spamming distinctiveness will be added to the board. Resistance is futile. *evil laugh*
Ain't she wonderful? ¬_¬
I knew I had moree in common with BS than was first apparent~Yshania
[color=sky blue]The male mind is nothing but a plaything of the woman's body.~My Variation on Nietzsche's Theme[/color]
Real men love Jesus. They live bold and holy lives, they're faithful to their wives, real men love Jesus.~Real Men Love Jesus; Herbie Shreve
Originally posted by der Moench @Der-draigen: Your point is well-taken. On the other hand, I have to say that when you are just "out looking," well, you are out looking. A person's looks, rightly or wrongly, are the first impression you will have of them. One would hope that, if you get to know a person, the looks become a secondary (tertiary, quadrenary ... ) issue - or even a non-issue. But right from the start - well, beautiful people have an advantage.
Quadrenary?...
I dunno, personally I tend to place more emphasis on a person's energy. I don't mean to sound weird or mystical about that, it's just that I tend to go more with the feeling I get from a person. Not an emotional feeling, but more like a positive vibe. Know what I mean?...
It's not that I personally am looking for model material (what would a woman like that want with me? ), but I look at all sorts of things about women that I meet: hair, clothes, smile, walk, etc, which also come under the category of "looks," and yet may have far less objective (societal) standards than waistline and high cheekbones.
I dunno.
I see -- more like the way a woman carries herself? Well, I think that can tell you something about a person. Like confidence, self-esteem, general outlook/attitude. I think you could get at least some cursory idea of a person from observing their demeanor.
What would a woman like what want with you? What would a gorgeous, sexy, vain, shallow, self-absorbed woman want with you? If I were you my friend, I wouldn't want to know.
"I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."
"So do all who live to see such times; but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."
But, yes, exactly: you call it energy/vibe, but I think you can get some idea of that just by looking at some of these other things (clothes, walk, smile, etc). Posture is another one - I love women with good posture - but a sloppy posture can be attractive if it is done right ... see, it's all very personal and subjective, and not really about societal norms at all. I hope.
After noticing something positive from these traits, then you can start to look deeper into a personality.
Oh, you know you asked: why do people do these cruel things to one another? Well, yeah, I suppose it is "selfishness," but maybe it's all for the best anyway. In my case, I guess there is no point in me wishing things had been otherwise - she fell in love with this dude (they're married now - for some years), so things just worked out better for them. Yeah, I'm bitter about it, but I can't really lay the blame on her. If she had stayed with me, maybe she would not have been happy - and then we could never have been happy ... so maybe selfish is best when it comes to love. It just sucks to be on the wrong end of the dump!
There will be no Renaissance without Revolution.
Derision, scorn, and failure to understand do not move us. The future belongs to us ... Weasel for President!!
Sorry fellas, just speaking from experience, as always
Hmm...but they do have bigger toys now.
I dunno, personally I tend to place more emphasis on a person's energy. I don't mean to sound weird or mystical about that, it's just that I tend to go more with the feeling I get from a person. Not an emotional feeling, but more like a positive vibe. Know what I mean?...
I sorta do that, too. I have this habit of, whenever I meet someone, looking into their eyes. Depending on what I see, it could be just a glance or it could turn into gazing. As to what I look for when I look into their eyes, I don't know. I only know it when I find it. I'm a hopeless romantic, ne?
Protected by Saturn, Planet of Silence... I am the soldier of death and rebirth...I am Sailor Saturn.
I would also like you to meet my alternate personality, Mistress 9.
Mistress 9: You will be spammed. Your psychotic and spamming distinctiveness will be added to the board. Resistance is futile. *evil laugh*
Ain't she wonderful? ¬_¬
I knew I had moree in common with BS than was first apparent~Yshania
[color=sky blue]The male mind is nothing but a plaything of the woman's body.~My Variation on Nietzsche's Theme[/color]
Real men love Jesus. They live bold and holy lives, they're faithful to their wives, real men love Jesus.~Real Men Love Jesus; Herbie Shreve
Originally posted by der Moench BTW, is anybody else going to embarass themselves with tales of love lost? I'm startin' to feel a tad foolish for posting that last one! Come on, people! Time to fess up to all love's barbs.
I’d share some of my stories too, but you never know who might be lurking....
All I can say is that on-again-off-again relationships are best left in the ‘off’ position, and that if you are tempted to get a job in El Salvador just to be near someone, make sure that they are not going to quit the Peace Corps and flake out before you accept the job.
That there; exactly the kinda diversion we coulda used.
Originally posted by der Moench
Oh, you know you asked: why do people do these cruel things to one another? Well, yeah, I suppose it is "selfishness," but maybe it's all for the best anyway. In my case, I guess there is no point in me wishing things had been otherwise - she fell in love with this dude (they're married now - for some years), so things just worked out better for them. Yeah, I'm bitter about it, but I can't really lay the blame on her. If she had stayed with me, maybe she would not have been happy - and then we could never have been happy ... so maybe selfish is best when it comes to love. It just sucks to be on the wrong end of the dump!
I see what you mean. People have to pursue their happiness. However, she didn't have to go about it in the way she did. I mean, breaking off a relationship because it's not beneficial, or because you've found your soulmate or whatever -- that's one thing. You approach the person and be honest and talk about it. You don't go running off committing emotional abuse, like in your case...
"I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."
"So do all who live to see such times; but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."
See! She’s toying with me. One moment Minerva is telling me how useful her tongue is, the next she playing coy and wanting an explanation as to why I called the behavior lewd. Hrmph.
And no, I think I’ll be using my lingual dexterity for something more productive like eating the olives from a dry vodka martini. Pffft.
Then darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time
Originally posted by Waverly See! She’s toying with me. One moment Minerva is telling me how useful her tongue is, the next she playing coy and wanting an explanation as to why I called the behavior lewd. Hrmph.
And no, I think I’ll be using my lingual dexterity for something more productive like eating the olives from a dry vodka martini. Pffft.
Look, I only said My tongue has some good use . Why that can be the lewd behavior? You seem to have huge imagination, or, if not, you should go and buy a pair of specs.
"Strength without wisdom falls by its own weight."
A word to the wise is sufficient Minerva (Semi-retired SYMer)
Sorry fellas, just speaking from experience, as always
Yikes! Well, a grain of truth, perhaps. Heck, I am some 700 years old, and I still haven't finished my university education! Hey, Der-draigen, your profile says "degree collector" for profession - what degrees do you have so far? (If I may ask.)
There will be no Renaissance without Revolution.
Derision, scorn, and failure to understand do not move us. The future belongs to us ... Weasel for President!!
I’d share some of my stories too, but you never know who might be lurking....
All I can say is that on-again-off-again relationships are best left in the ‘off’ position, and that if you are tempted to get a job in El Salvador just to be near someone, make sure that they are not going to quit the Peace Corps and flake out before you accept the job.
Hey, your misery makes me feel much better! Sit and have a Paulaner with me! *der Moench pours himself a stein of Paulaner, and lights up his pipe, thinking about life and love*
Hey, y'all, here's a quote from one of my favorite artists ever, Ray Davies of The Kinks:
"The flower that I had felt growing inside my chest was not the cancer Margie had diagnosed but the beginning of something not as deadly but frightening just the same. ... The obsession starts. That’s bad. Margie was wrong about the cancer, but in some respects she could have been right. Love like that is something beautiful, but, like cancer, it’s almost better to have it cut out before it can do any damage. Love spreads to the entire body. It eventually takes over your entire soul. You make wrong decisions. Do senseless things. Become ... irrational.
Anyone else have some wise words on the topic?
*der Moench continues to pull thoughtfully on his pipe*
There will be no Renaissance without Revolution.
Derision, scorn, and failure to understand do not move us. The future belongs to us ... Weasel for President!!
Originally posted by Sailor Saturn *snip* 5 months later, I got a letter from her boyfriend saying that he and her had been going steady for 6 months and that it was over between me and her. She broke up with cute little me so she could go out with some big, dumb, annoying, handsome college boy. *snip*
Seriously? She had her new boyfriend write you to tell you it was over?! That is just, plain, wierd, IMO.
Have yourself a Doctor Pepper.
There will be no Renaissance without Revolution.
Derision, scorn, and failure to understand do not move us. The future belongs to us ... Weasel for President!!
-- perhaps if guys didn't place so much emphasis on looks, and didn't try to find the ideal supermodel, they would more easily find the intelligent and kind women.
He's angry! He's angry!!