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Skipped to the end but here goes.

Speaker in House of Lords : How Dare you attend the House drunk!
Winston Churchill : I may be drunk, but you are an ass. Tomorrow I will be sober!

"Take two Chill Pills and see me in the morning." AmpaSand.

"Yes, I see your point. Mines better." Churchill Again.

'Sex,' she said, 'according to our advanced thinkers, is the most important single factor in life. Having gotten this bearded profundity off their chests, they sneak down a dark alley and proceed to test the truth of their theory with some other person's husband or wife. I believe in giving sex its due importance. If you can't get along with one man or one woman at a time, then hang out your shingle and make a business of it.' --from Thorne Smith's "The Nightlife of the Gods"

"No man was more comprehensively doomed than him whose chief source of gratification was making favorable impressions on some particular woman"

Neal Stephenson
from the book "Quicksilver"

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life"

Terry Pratchett, Jingo, Discworld series

"Never know what hit 'm"

Terran Ghost - operative with cloaking ability able to call down a nuclear strike, StarCraft, Blizzard game

"Mon cher, je méprise les femmes pour ne les pas aimer car autrement, la vie serait un mélodrame trop ridicule" - rough translation: "My friend, I scorn women to avoid loving them for else, life would become too ridiculous a melodrama"

Russian novelist Mikhail Lermontov - words spoken by the character Petsjorin in A Hero of our Time

"All those who believe in telekinesis raise my hand"

Braddock "You're drunk!"
Churchill "And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning I shall be sober."

"[the Americans are] a race of convicts, and ought to be grateful for anything we allow them short of hanging." - Samuel Johnson. ( :laugh: )

"No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman." - Honore de Balzac

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner

"Did you know that squirrels are the Devil's oven mitts?" - Miss Piggy

All he above are stole from a friends Facebook. I shall return later with some Fallout quotes.

Craig wrote:"All those who believe in telekinesis raise my hand"

Actually, unless this was used otherwhere, this comes from Destroy All Humans!, one of my favorite games. It's always fun to oblige them, too, since your character does have that kind of power.

“Now, there you go, sweetheart. Now you look more like a doctor and less like a lap dance.” -Dr. Kelso, Scrubs

"But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." -Thomas Jefferson

"Anger is a like a mercenary. It'll take all you can give and leave you feeling empty in the end." - Myself.

"Where did this idea come from that everybody deserves free education, free medical care, free whatever? It comes from Moscow, from Russia. It comes straight out of the pit of hell." -Republican Texas state representative Debbie Riddle

A quote from Call of Duty 3:
"Today we're on a secret mission to get coffee and doughnuts. Problem is, Jerries drank all the coffee and ate all the doughnuts. So we gotta go kick their asses." -Dixon (Scott Peat) :laugh:

Quotes from Reader's Digest:
"Socialism did not come from the people. It is a doctrine of intellectuals who had the arrogance to believe they could plan everyone's life..... How do they put their case to the people? They do not reveal that freedoms will go. They say, "Vote for us and you will have far more without doing as much for it."" -Margaret Thatcher

"Are there people who really believe that labour power is more effective when people are unemployed? Or that consumer power is more potent when people have no money to spend?" -Helen Suzman

Two from my favorite British politician, Aneurin Bevan:

"Stand not too near the rich man lest he destroy thee -- and not too far away lest he forget thee."

"It is an axiom, enforced by all the experience of the ages, that they who rule industrially will rule politically."

“It’s quite difficult to convince people you are killing them for their own good. That’s our basic problem in Iraq.” - Molly Ivin, columnist

" Pacifism is objectively pro-fascist. This is elementary common sense. If you hamper the war effort of one side, you automatically help out that of the other. Nor is there any real way of remaining outside such a war as the present one. In practice, 'he that is not with me is against me. " - George Orwell (apparently somewhere between 1940-1945)

" The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it. " - Orwell again.

(lovely quotes in this thread, marvelous collection )

"In this world gone mad you don't spank the monkey - the monkey spanks you!"

After seeing this guy perform with Styx and checking out his website (which is where this quote comes from)...

"I want to live an unburdened life, free from a lot of stress. If I can stare death in the face, the little comments and small attitudes don't bother me. No one should be on their deathbed with regrets. I have seen that too many times. I now have to continue my journey to find out what I am about."
- former full-time Styx bassist Chuck Panozzo

"Once warfare has made people so fierce that human laws no longer have a place among them, religion is the only means powerful enough to subdue them."

"Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!" — "Gold Hat" (Alfonso Bedoya), The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

"They say 'What you want is what you get.' I say 'What you want - and how you express it - affects what you get.'" - Myself

"Desires shape a person's perspective. They offer a looking glass to the world, bent in a way to reflect a person's frame of mind." - Myself

"'Fighting fire with fire' only leaves both the causer and the causee more burnt. Eventually, all that is left of both is ashes." - Myself

"Perfection is like an idea of grandeur. It is ambiguous, frustrating to construct, but if done, leaves for a finish that promotes accomplishment." - Myself

"Fragile people - while they may emotionally break easily - can only break so far. If they could break any farther, then their mind would be of no use any longer, even to themselves." - Myself

"The rise of club music, the fall of apartheid--a coincidence?"

Moonbiter wrote: "If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you. " - Oscar Wilde

That's one of my favorite Wilde quotes

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
- Oscar Wilde

SMITHAREEN, n. A fragment, a decomponent part, a remain. The word is used variously, but in the following verse on a noted female reformer who opposed bicycle-riding by women because it "led them to the devil" it is seen at its best:
The wheels go round without a sound --
The maidens hold high revel;
In sinful mood, insanely gay,
True spinsters spin adown the way
From duty to the devil!
They laugh, they sing, and -- ting-a-ling!
Their bells go all the morning;
Their lanterns bright bestar the night
Pedestrians a-warning.
With lifted hands Miss Charlotte stands,
Good-Lording and O-mying,
Her rheumatism forgotten quite,
Her fat with anger frying.
She blocks the path that leads to wrath,
Jack Satan's power defying.
The wheels go round without a sound
The lights burn red and blue and green.
What's this that's found upon the ground?
Poor Charlotte Smith's a smithareen!
John William Yope
[INDENT]- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary[/INDENT]