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Ah yes, my chats with my ex's generally fall into the "uncomfortable" category once boredom sets in. I flirt and tease when bored, and they know so. Some try desperately to keep me occupied to avoid that, some clam up and hope I end up bored.

I get into trouble in public. My general tolerence for human flaws and nonsense is so very, very low.

I was actually comfortable tonight, which is strange, because this one broke my heart less than a year ago. Dated her for two years. She was "The One" for me and then she freaked out at college and decided she needed space or time or something. It's always weird with her, though, because she has that confusing look where I don't know if she wants me to kiss her or if she'd say something like: "We can't do this" or "I'm not ready to start back up again" and she's not one to fool around unattached.

[QUOTE=Magrus]The discussion in "The Wrath of SYM" thread made me curious...

Would you go out of your way, and risk harm to stop a violent situation that you say while going about your daily life?

If a situation came up where you were walking down the road, heard screaming, and saw someone on the side of the road being mercilessly beaten by another person, what would you do?[/QUOTE]

To the first part of your question, I would have to say that it would all depend on the circumstances: if it appeared to me that intervention would save someone's life, then yes, I would intervene. This intervention doesn't always have to equate to violence on my part - it could simply be providing a distraction while law enforcement is summoned, sparing the victim any further injury/assault. I'm generally pretty good at thinking quickly in emergency situations...too bad I can't think like that in mundane, everyday life.

To the second part of your question: I would call the police. Much better that intervention has the force of law backing it up. I would certainly stick around, however, because for me, the moment that I witness something (be it an altercation, accident, or whatever) I feel honor bound to provide testimony and cooperate with law enforcement. I feel a connection to the victim(s), and place myself in their shoes. How would I feel if a witness to a crime perpetrated against me didn't testify?

Some common sense needs to govern how you act and what you do. As much as I would love to bash some brute's head in who's busy victimizing someone else, that may not always be the best way to help. I like to keep in mind that my own morals and principles say I'm to help the victim, not satisfy *my* own sense of what is right or gratify myself by breaking the arm of some sub-human slime who deserves it.

Magrus wrote:Would you go out of your way, and risk harm to stop a violent situation that you say while going about your daily life?

I totally agree with Chanak here, and I think his post illustrates what many people do not seem to realise: that there are more options than attacking the attacker yourself, or stay passive.

I would certainly not intervene in a manner that put myself, the offender or the victim at a high risk for serious injury. Since the victim in this situation is already at risk for serious injury, I would act in a way that interrupted this risk.

If a situation came up where you were walking down the road, heard screaming, and saw someone on the side of the road being mercilessly beaten by another person, what would you do?

First thing would be to call the police and an ambulance, since the quicker they arrive, the better are the chances to interrupt the situation, to minimise lasting injuries for the victim and to catch the perpertrator. If I was completely alone, I would try to distract the offender in all possible ways, and make sure I memorised what s/he looks like, the situation, etc. If there were other people present, or if I have people with me, I would engage them to help passifying the perpertrator by holding him/her still not using violence.

Nowadays I very seldom encounter situations where violence is involved, but that has not always been the case. When I was a teenager, the big guys used to team up and passify any violent offender we saw on the streets or in the metro. Usually they would just push him to the ground and hold him arms-on-back, while somebody took care of the victim. Since I was small and quick and always sober, I frequently got the role of running to call the police (this was before the time when everybody had a mobile) and noticing details so I could report in a useful way, or testify later on if needed. It happened only one or two times that I took a light blow myself, since a majority of guys won't hit a 5'2 >100 lb girl.

[QUOTE=Magrus] Why it is that in a lot of areas a girl who can hold her own in most situation's is looked upon as intimidating and a freak is beyond me. [/QUOTE]

I think you will find the answer to this question if you look back at the old thread "Damsel in distress" about men defending their female partners. In that thread, you will find several male poster who state they want to "protect" women, especially their girlfriends.
http://www.gamebanshee.com/forums/showt ... ge=2&pp=40

A woman who does not need any form of protection may, for some men, fail to satisfy their need for confirmation of their perceived male gender role identity.

A good example of creative thinking in problem solving happened in Atlanta, Georgia, during the early 1990s. An armed fellow took a Dominos pizza chain restaurant hostage on US Highway 23 ( I recall this incident rather clearly since my way home from work was roadblocked on the highway). He demanded pizza, which he sat down and consumed. While he was eating, the hostages quietly escaped through the back service entrance. Their presence was replaced by police officers in the restaurant, who then apprehended the assailant.

[QUOTE=C Elegans]I totally agree with Chanak here, and I think his post illustrates what many people do not seem to realise: that there are more options than attacking the attacker yourself, or stay passive.

I would certainly not intervene in a manner that put myself, the offender or the victim at a high risk for serious injury. Since the victim in this situation is already at risk for serious injury, I would act in a way that interrupted this risk.

First thing would be to call the police and an ambulance, since the quicker they arrive, the better are the chances to interrupt the situation, to minimise lasting injuries for the victim and to catch the perpertrator. If I was completely alone, I would try to distract the offender in all possible ways, and make sure I memorised what s/he looks like, the situation, etc. If there were other people present, or if I have people with me, I would engage them to help passifying the perpertrator by holding him/her still not using violence. [/QUOTE]

What happens when you "distract the offender in all possible ways"? Have you ever actually done this? The first time I did this, by shouting at the guy from across the street after calling the police, as you said, he came after me instead. Ran straight at me, hit me in the jaw and knocked me to the ground. *shakes my head* I stopped doing that. I walk towards the attacker shouting for him to stop and when he goesn't, I grab and try to wrestle him to the ground and restrain him. One-on-one, that tends not to work, and out of the 5 truly violent incidents I was in outside of silly fights with kids, only one fight was resolved by a group of people holding the person down with my help. The rest, I took care of either alone, once, or the rest people just stared.

My jumping into the situation doesn't put the target at a greater risk, just me. That is my choice to put myself at risk. If the person who was attacked is able, they are free to run off. All but one of them has been too badly hurt to do anything but lay there. The one girl that was being dragged off to be raped wasn't, but she was so horribly terrified she simply was on the ground shaking. I am distracting that attacker, in my own way, a way that prevents them from focusing on the victim until help arrives.

Screaming at them from down the road simply irritates them and makes them pick between keeping up with what they are doing, or coming after you instead.


@Chanak, that guy was a moron. That's also completely different from the situations I was referring to. A hostage is in a totally different amount of danger than someone actively being physically attacked at the present time, don't you think?

Whether I would help a stranger who's being beaten depends on what I could do to help. I've got pepper spray in my car and my purse, so that's probably what I would use if I got personally involved in an altercation. But no matter how things went, I would like for the police to come as soon as possible, so I might call them on my cellphone before I did anything else. Just telling the attacker that the police were on the way might make him stop, unless he was high or drunk or out of his mind.

I'm trying to recall the last time I witnessed violence in public. The only incidents I can remember were between parents and their own children, or incidents between friends and/or family members. As a result, that's the only kind of violence that I consider to be "normal". This raises the question, would you get involved in someone else's "private family matters"?

I once witnessed an older woman verbally and physically abusing a preteen child inside a store. I didn't confront her, but I followed her to her house in my car and called the police and the local child protective services and reported what I had witnessed. It was a sad case in which the child's grandmother (the abuser) had custody of him because his dad wasn't around and his mother was on drugs. Reports were filed and someone was put on the case, but I don't know what finally happened. As much as I wanted to confront that woman, I don't think that beating the crap out of her would make her stop abusing her own kids and grandkids. If her kids and grandkids are going to perpetuate the cycle of violence and ruin more innocent lives, perhaps forced sterilization is in order.

Well, it would really depend on the situation he/her is in, and how it will affect me. I wouldn't really though.

[QUOTE=C Elegans]A woman who does not need any form of protection may, for some men, fail to satisfy their need for confirmation of their perceived male gender role identity.[/QUOTE]

Not to gallop away off topic, but using my limited psychological acumen, I can directly pinpoint my own perception of gender roles (they're actually rather fluid) to my experience as a child in a house dominated by females (three sisters, no brothers). Two were older, one was younger. In any case, when we lived in American military housing on the island of Okinawa in the mid 1970s, you could say I was the juvenile wrestling champ amongst the neighborhood kids. It didn't matter who it was, I could beat 'em...well, unless they were much older and a whole lot bigger (I can boast that at seven years old I was defeating 10 year olds). How did I become so skilled at this? Well, my older sisters would gang up on me sometimes, hold me down and try to tickle me until I went insane. I became a survivalist.

Anyway, there was a duo of brothers - the Pollards - down the street whom I would regularly trounce in one on one melee combat. One was my age, the other was three years older. One on one, I could take either. However, as I passed by one day, they both jumped me together, resulting in some nasty scrapes and cuts to yours truly from falling repeatedly on a cement sidewalk. When I returned home, my mother was aghast at the sight of me. My oldest sister asked me what had happened as my mother tended to my war wounds. After I told her about the Pollards, she disappeared. She returned later with her hair in disarray and grass stains on her jeans, and a big grin. Apparently she had beat the pulp out of the Pollard boys in retaliation.

So, sometimes a female can protect a male.