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(Scene: a small white, bald room in a Washington, DC airport. Two men in nondescript suits wait as several military police drag in a cocooned figure that is dropped into a chair.)

Military Policewoman #1: Evolution is a disease.

Man in Suit #1: (in a monotone, which he maintains throughout) God's Grace shine on thee, America.

(The Policewoman nods, and taps the figure cocooned in tape.)

MP #1: Here's the delivery, as promised.

Suit #1: Did he give you any trouble?

MP #1: Nah. He was about to proposition me, just as his file suggests, when I gave him the needle. Operation Happosai was a piece of cake.

Suit #2: Don't underestimate him. Darkpoet, as he calls himself, is a ruthless pervert whose crimes exceed even Heliogabalus.

MP #1: Did he work for Clinton in Defense?

Suit #2: No. Roman emperor.

MP #1: I thought they were running a democracy after we kicked the Fascists' asses out.

Suit #1: Nevermind. You did your duty. Let it go at that.

MP #1: What happens to this Darkpoet traitor after this?

Suit #2: Advanced brainwashing, most likely. Reprogramming him to report to us. Maybe a slot on the Christian Network, if he's got stage presence. The usual.

(The scene fades to black.)

[ 05-11-2001: Message edited by: fable ]

@Fable: can't you at least turn him into a door to door Jehova's witness?

@Minerva: That's pretty extreme... you aren't helping your case much. Dorkpoet may work a deal and testify against you...

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>@Minerva: That's pretty extreme... you aren't helping your case much. Dorkpoet may work a deal and testify against you...</STRONG>

There's no case, except the one you think you have.

Who cares, anyway...

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>@Fable: can't you at least turn him into a door to door Jehova's witness?

@Minerva: That's pretty extreme... you aren't helping your case much. Dorkpoet may work a deal and testify against you...</STRONG>

If he does, I'll email the Watchtower and the Awake.

Alright Minerva, I may let you off this time... but I will continue to keep you under *heavy* surveillance. I'll be reviewing video of you daily

Originally posted by Minerva:
<STRONG>There's no case, except the one you think you have.

Who cares, anyway...</STRONG>

Don't worry, I'm not a turn coat. Even if there is a death penalty.

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>Alright Minerva, I may let you off this time... but I will continue to keep you under *heavy* surveillance. I'll be reviewing video of you daily </STRONG>

"Surveillance"? So you are the one acting suspiciously lately around my flat... We received a warning from the university's security about a man with dark hair and wearing a coat (in this warm weather) with video camera in his hand...

Nope, that wasn't me. I was the one with the zoom lense aimed at the window in your bath.

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>Nope, that wasn't me. I was the one with the zoom lense aimed at the window in your bath. </STRONG>

My bath...? You've got a wrong address, because my university flat only has a shower with no window. You probably took photographs of a kitchen lady or a cleaner.

Originally posted by Minerva:
<STRONG>My bath...? You've got a wrong address, because my university flat only has a shower with no window. You probably took photographs of a kitchen lady or a cleaner. </STRONG>

Maybe he's taking pictures of the Queen mum. Isn't that a hanging offence?

@Minerva: LMAO. Tell the kitchen lady that forgets to close the blinds I said 'hi'.

Originally posted by Minerva:
<STRONG>My bath...? You've got a wrong address, because my university flat only has a shower with no window. You probably took photographs of a kitchen lady or a cleaner. </STRONG>

OMG....I hope it wasn't Mrs.Sleep

@Weasel: that would explain why I had to use a wide angle lense...

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>@Weasel: that would explain why I had to use a wide angle lense...</STRONG>

LMFAO...I just about choked

Originally posted by Waverly:
<STRONG>@Weasel: that would explain why I had to use a wide angle lense...</STRONG>

ROFL

Hang on a second... You thought I was so fat!! My weight hasn't changed for um... (how old am I? Oh, yes) ...for past 15 years or so. And I wear UK size 10!

What's a UK size 10 in non-UK terms, minus the shillings, pence, and left-side of the road driving?

@Minerva: IIRC Mrs. Sleep is *not* fat... she is.. um masticularly gifted

Originally posted by fable:
<STRONG>What's a UK size 10 in non-UK terms, minus the shillings, pence, and left-side of the road driving? </STRONG>

Um.. I don't have my diary to find what exactly UK size 10 is in the US. It's 38/40 in European size.

We don't use shillings any more. £1=100pence.

And the left-side driving is the correct side.

Maybe a UK 10 is the same as a US 10, in which case you're slightly slimmer than average. Sound right?

And driving on the left side of the road is merely a vestigal notion left over from cars used in Saxon days. Brits are soooo conservative.

It's a US 8, althouth they use the same baseline, American women insist on seeing the lower numbers so the scale has been fudged accordingly.