First Aid
- dragon wench
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First Aid
I was sorting through some email and came across this. Now maybe it's because I'm recovering from the flu, or maybe it's because I've been dealing with chronic insomnia.. but I found this one kind of funny
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant.
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,
begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbill is looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"
The woman shakes her head, "no.."
Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?"
The woman begins to turn blue, and again shakes her head, "no."
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it afore!"
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant.
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,
begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbill is looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"
The woman shakes her head, "no.."
Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?"
The woman begins to turn blue, and again shakes her head, "no."
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it afore!"
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- LeoStarDragon1
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Hi, Demortis!
Well, I was thinking that the hillbilly who did the licking, is probably dealing with the foreign taste of porcelain on his tongue, and wondering what to do about it, and where the taste came from. (Assuming that he uses an outhouse like my Great Uncle Raymond's and Great Uncle Arther's, that was the traditional wooden kind, as opposed to the more modern ones in parks.)Demortis wrote:nice, not really sure what to say to that
Shhh! Be very quiet! I may be sleep writing and sleep reading! :laugh:
Who said, "It is not whether you get knocked up, but whether you can get down!"?
Who said, "It is not whether you get knocked up, but whether you can get down!"?
This "joke" actually happened. Last Thanksgiving Weasel swallowed a rock-filled gizzard. BS performed this maneuver to safe his life.dragon wench wrote:
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
"There are worse things in the world than serving the whims of a deadly sex goddess." - Zevran
- dragon wench
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Now how did I know BS and Weasel were behind this?Aqua-chan wrote:This "joke" actually happened. Last Thanksgiving Weasel swallowed a rock-filled gizzard. BS performed this maneuver to safe his life.
Actually, I figured that sooner or later they'd be incriminated and their names would end up in this thread
(I wonder though.... if Weasel was wearing his golden speedos, matching bra and Cher wig at the time.... ?)
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I was actually waiting to see if anyone else was going to bring it up, but alas, I had to answer the call.dragon wench wrote:Now how did I know BS and Weasel were behind this?
Actually, I figured that sooner or later they'd be incriminated and their names would end up in this thread (I wonder though.... if Weasel was wearing his golden speedos, matching bra and Cher wig at the time.... ?)
If so, it was probably just further incentive for BS at that point. We all know how much he, er, appreciated... that outfit.
"There are worse things in the world than serving the whims of a deadly sex goddess." - Zevran
- Fiberfar
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Weasel, golden speedos, Cher and wig in the same sentence?dragon wench wrote: (I wonder though.... if Weasel was wearing his golden speedos, matching bra and Cher wig at the time.... ?)
Poor wig!
[QUOTE=Luis Antonio]ONLY RETARDED PEOPLE WRITE WITH CAPS ON. Good thing I press shift [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Luis Antonio]Bah! Bunch of lamers! Ye need the lesson of the true powergamer: Play mages, name them Koffi Annan, and only use non-intervention spells! Buwahahahahah![/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Luis Antonio]Bah! Bunch of lamers! Ye need the lesson of the true powergamer: Play mages, name them Koffi Annan, and only use non-intervention spells! Buwahahahahah![/QUOTE]
- Bloodstalker
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- dragon wench
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But I thought it was every man's fantasy to have two women paying so much devoted and undivided attention to him...Bloodstalker wrote:I'm going to see about getting a law passed making any interaction between AC and DW a bannable offense......
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- Bloodstalker
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- dragon wench
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Well... I do hear that a solitary life can also have its pleasures....Bloodstalker wrote:My old hermit gig is looking more and more attractive as the posts go by.
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- Maharlika
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Enter the dynamic duo...
You haven't been doing some reflections lately.
@AC and DW: The moment I read two hillbillies, Weasel and BS immediately registered in my mind.
Time to get back to your BE, Sensei.Bloodstalker wrote:My old hermit gig is looking more and more attractive as the posts go by.
You haven't been doing some reflections lately.
@AC and DW: The moment I read two hillbillies, Weasel and BS immediately registered in my mind.
"There is no weakness in honest sorrow... only in succumbing to depression over what cannot be changed." --- Alaundo, BG2
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- Bloodstalker
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- dragon wench
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Thing is... If BS' tongue was making contact with Weasel's lower quarters.. down in those Hillbilly regions, they'd have probably been arrested by now... :speech:Maharlika wrote:
@AC and DW: The moment I read two hillbillies, Weasel and BS immediately registered in my mind.
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- Bloodstalker
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- dragon wench
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True.... Weasel would probably have to be roadkill first...Bloodstalker wrote:I never licked a Weasel. Even in the south we maintain some standards.
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- Maharlika
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However...
Never fear though. I'm always attuned to my BE.
... would you know the difference had it been disguised as Cher?Bloodstalker wrote:I never licked a Weasel. Even in the south we maintain some standards.
Surviving, thanks. Wanderlusting can be a serious job, you know.Acxtually Mah, I think this may very well be my Be
How you been anyway?
Never fear though. I'm always attuned to my BE.
"There is no weakness in honest sorrow... only in succumbing to depression over what cannot be changed." --- Alaundo, BG2
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- LeoStarDragon1
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Hello, Millieway!
Hm. To avoid posting two replies in a row. I'll add this here while I'm at it.
If one knows what porcelain smells like, then one also knows what it tastes like, just to clarify an earlier post I made here.
Back in 1985, I gave my fiancee Dallas Ann, a hickie where no one could see it. It was the the last time I did that, because the taste of porcelain disagrees with me. :speech:
Please pardon me for asking this, but what do you mean by, "FA basic course"? No body else asked, so I had to, as I don't know. Thanks!Millieway wrote:I must say I find myself to be little bit disappointed with the FA basic course I had to have.
I guess that's why they have those advanced courses.
Hm. To avoid posting two replies in a row. I'll add this here while I'm at it.
If one knows what porcelain smells like, then one also knows what it tastes like, just to clarify an earlier post I made here.
Back in 1985, I gave my fiancee Dallas Ann, a hickie where no one could see it. It was the the last time I did that, because the taste of porcelain disagrees with me. :speech:
Shhh! Be very quiet! I may be sleep writing and sleep reading! :laugh:
Who said, "It is not whether you get knocked up, but whether you can get down!"?
Who said, "It is not whether you get knocked up, but whether you can get down!"?