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I was sorting through some email and came across this. Now maybe it's because I'm recovering from the flu, or maybe it's because I've been dealing with chronic insomnia.. but I found this one kind of funny


Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant.
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,
begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbill is looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"
The woman shakes her head, "no.."

Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue, and again shakes her head, "no."

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it afore!"

nice, not really sure what to say to that

Hi, Demortis!

Demortis wrote:nice, not really sure what to say to that

Well, I was thinking that the hillbilly who did the licking, is probably dealing with the foreign taste of porcelain on his tongue, and wondering what to do about it, and where the taste came from. (Assuming that he uses an outhouse like my Great Uncle Raymond's and Great Uncle Arther's, that was the traditional wooden kind, as opposed to the more modern ones in parks.)

I must say I find myself to be little bit disappointed with the FA basic course I had to have.

I guess that's why they have those advanced courses.

dragon wench wrote:
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

This "joke" actually happened. Last Thanksgiving Weasel swallowed a rock-filled gizzard. BS performed this maneuver to safe his life.

Aqua-chan wrote:This "joke" actually happened. Last Thanksgiving Weasel swallowed a rock-filled gizzard. BS performed this maneuver to safe his life.

Now how did I know BS and Weasel were behind this?

Actually, I figured that sooner or later they'd be incriminated and their names would end up in this thread
(I wonder though.... if Weasel was wearing his golden speedos, matching bra and Cher wig at the time.... ?)

dragon wench wrote:Now how did I know BS and Weasel were behind this?

Actually, I figured that sooner or later they'd be incriminated and their names would end up in this thread (I wonder though.... if Weasel was wearing his golden speedos, matching bra and Cher wig at the time.... ?)

I was actually waiting to see if anyone else was going to bring it up, but alas, I had to answer the call.

If so, it was probably just further incentive for BS at that point. We all know how much he, er, appreciated... that outfit.

dragon wench wrote: (I wonder though.... if Weasel was wearing his golden speedos, matching bra and Cher wig at the time.... ?)

Weasel, golden speedos, Cher and wig in the same sentence?

Poor wig!

I'm going to see about getting a law passed making any interaction between AC and DW a bannable offense......

Bloodstalker wrote:I'm going to see about getting a law passed making any interaction between AC and DW a bannable offense......

But I thought it was every man's fantasy to have two women paying so much devoted and undivided attention to him...

My old hermit gig is looking more and more attractive as the posts go by.

Bloodstalker wrote:My old hermit gig is looking more and more attractive as the posts go by.

Well... I do hear that a solitary life can also have its pleasures....

Enter the dynamic duo...

Bloodstalker wrote:My old hermit gig is looking more and more attractive as the posts go by.

Time to get back to your BE, Sensei.

You haven't been doing some reflections lately.

@AC and DW: The moment I read two hillbillies, Weasel and BS immediately registered in my mind.

Acxtually Mah, I think this may very well be my Be

How you been anyway?

@DW...

Maharlika wrote:
@AC and DW: The moment I read two hillbillies, Weasel and BS immediately registered in my mind.

Thing is... If BS' tongue was making contact with Weasel's lower quarters.. down in those Hillbilly regions, they'd have probably been arrested by now... :speech:

I never licked a Weasel. Even in the south we maintain some standards.

Bloodstalker wrote:I never licked a Weasel. Even in the south we maintain some standards.

True.... Weasel would probably have to be roadkill first...

However...

Bloodstalker wrote:I never licked a Weasel. Even in the south we maintain some standards.

... would you know the difference had it been disguised as Cher?

Acxtually Mah, I think this may very well be my Be

How you been anyway?

Surviving, thanks. Wanderlusting can be a serious job, you know.

Never fear though. I'm always attuned to my BE.

Hello, Millieway!

Millieway wrote:I must say I find myself to be little bit disappointed with the FA basic course I had to have.

I guess that's why they have those advanced courses.

Please pardon me for asking this, but what do you mean by, "FA basic course"? No body else asked, so I had to, as I don't know. Thanks!

Hm. To avoid posting two replies in a row. I'll add this here while I'm at it.

If one knows what porcelain smells like, then one also knows what it tastes like, just to clarify an earlier post I made here.

Back in 1985, I gave my fiancee Dallas Ann, a hickie where no one could see it. It was the the last time I did that, because the taste of porcelain disagrees with me. :speech:

For auction.
Fine arts.
Falkland Islands.
Fire alarm.
Food allergy.
False alarm.
Formic acid.
Farm aid.
Financial aid.
Full armor.
Fund accounting.
Fiber Adapter.
Factories Act 1961

First aid.