I had the repeating dialogue problem with Jaheira and the following is what fixed mine. Since I have not seen it posted elsewhere here (with a search), here ya go.
Also, I did get to the "spend the night" option, but my game bleeped and the dialogue never came up - but the next day dialogue was the correct stuff.
Also, I don't know about any mix between actions, who killed who and what dialogue came before or after - so no promises there. All I know is this put me on track and it all worked. BTW, my repeating dialogue was stuff about enjoying the last fight.
THE FIX:
Credit goes to Toejam of the recently passed BGDungeon board. Toejam posted the following info. that he / she received from Bioware support. Here goes:
"Two things you can do to see her romance finished. 1) Install the patch and load a save game before you kill her suitor that keeps showing up. or 2) Edit your baldur.ini file and under the Program Options add the line Debug Mode=1. Fire up the game and with the cursor on Jaheira, open the console and type: CLUAConsole:SetGlobal("LoveTalk","LOCALS",57). This should put her back on track."
I used the 2nd option. At the time I experienced the loop, I was already running the patch.
Hope this helps. Go forth and get lucky!